00:00Designated driver hits parked cars charged with DUI after empty bourbon bottle found in car.
00:06And this is your designated driver?
00:09My God, I'd hate to see the people that were actually drinking then.
00:13Her face is pretty smashed up in her mug shot.
00:16I'm surprised they didn't clean her up a little bit more for that.
00:18She looks like a feral child.
00:20Have you seen this mug shot?
00:21Yes.
00:21Doesn't she?
00:22Like one of the feral Game of Thrones people, the woodlings.
00:25Oh my God.
00:26Hey, Coop, you ought to get this up in the MJ Daily Drivel section.
00:30Shop at MJMorningShow.com.
00:31And we ought to ask the question, is this a feral child grown up?
00:35I'm serious.
00:36You mean like lives in the woods and grew up with animals?
00:40Raised by wolves.
00:42Melanie Esclera, 40, from Port St. Lucie.
00:48She was supposed to be the designated driver during a night out.
00:53And she became so blasted off her butt drunk, she smashed into three parked cars.
01:00That's even before she got out of the parking lot.
01:02I'll pick you up.
01:04I'll be right there.
01:05Oh my God.
01:05Can you imagine this designated driver?
01:08I think I hit something.
01:10That's what?
01:12This is a weird song.
01:18Like, Melanie Esclera, 40, had a blood alcohol content twice the legal limit.
01:26So, .08, she had a, what, at least a .16 when she was tested by the cops after she smashed
01:34into all these cars just before 1 o'clock.
01:37This was last week.
01:38When officers arrived at the scene, the engine compartment of her 2010 sedan was on fire.
01:46Oh my God.
01:48Our car.
01:49God.
01:49She hit so many cars.
01:51She did, like, engine damage.
01:53She must have caused something to leak.
01:55And her engine was, her car was on fire.
01:59What are you talking about, officer?
02:00I don't even see a scratch anywhere.
02:02I don't see anything.
02:03Here's the picture of a bottle of whiskey.
02:05Oh, let me see what kind.
02:06Rebel Yell.
02:07Rebel Yell whiskey.
02:08Is that on your shelf, MJ?
02:10I don't have Rebel Yell.
02:12Rebel Yell.
02:13I think Katerock drinks that.
02:14Remember, you know, I shot a video last week of Gatsby in front of all these liquor bottles
02:19because Gatsby, our three-year-old Jack Russell Terrier, on, was it the 13th or the 5th?
02:26When was it?
02:27Sometime last week.
02:28I think it was the 13th, Wednesday.
02:29So, Gatsby turned three, and if you take the old adage of every year for a dog is seven
02:37dog years, if you take three times seven, that's 21.
02:40So, we decided to celebrate Gatsby's 21st birthday and gave him some whiskey.
02:45I heard also.
02:47Well, he had the, I lined all my quality whiskeys up, like some Stagg Jr., some George T.
02:53Stagg, some Angel's Envy finished rye, some of the High West product, some Johnny Walker
02:59Blue Label, some of the Michter's 10-year bourbon and rye, and Cavalon, a great Taiwanese
03:05whiskey, and I let Gatsby pick what he wanted.
03:08Well, if you wanted to add Rebel Yell to your collection, it's an extremely approachable
03:12bourbon.
03:13And what is the price point of this?
03:1518 bucks a bottle.
03:16Oh, well, Gatsby would turn his nose up at that.
03:18He would knock that right off the table.
03:19Is it true he went out to a dog strip club and got a lap dance from a Great Dane after
03:23this?
03:24That's the way to go, bro.
03:25Did you see the front end of this woman's car?
03:30Hey, Coop, we got to get this story.
03:31You got to find, there are multiple sources on this thing from last week.
03:35The back of her car is trashed.
03:39Oh, my gosh.
03:40Is that her car, or is that like a car she smashed into?
03:42This is a car, the car off to the side, the one with the more severe damage is her car.
03:46Okay.
03:46How is she okay?
03:47Listen, her rear end is completely trashed and gone.
03:51And her car is awful.
03:53I get it.
03:54And her front end, the front end of her car, it looks like she ran into a bridge abutment
04:00at 70 miles an hour.
04:02Unbelievable.
04:03All right, hold on to that thought, because I want to finish up with the morons in the
04:06news next.
04:07She allegedly told officers that she had just left the bar.
04:10She was supposed to be the designated driver, and inside, they found the bottle of whiskey
04:16in the front seat.
04:16She was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving.
04:19She blew a .16, apparently, in a separate incident, also in Port St. Lucie.
04:25That's another story.
04:27Her mugshot is incredible.
04:28Oh, it is.
04:28That's just left the bar.
04:30Is that an injury, or is that just like a big Sharpie scrape down her face?
04:33No, that's blood coming down her face.
04:35Oh, my God.
04:35Yeah.
04:36Oh, my God.
04:36Oh, my God.
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