Cow Tranquilizers

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a teenager who is facing two felonies after he was caught spiking his step-dad's energy drinks with cow tranquilizers.

Transcript

00:00What prank did a kid pull on his stepdad to get himself in some major trouble?

00:10Let's find out.

00:15You're a douche.

00:18I'm not a douche.

00:19You're a stupid douche.

00:20You are so a douche!

00:21I'm nominating you for the biggest douche in the universe award, you douche!

00:24Dave and Chuck the Freak salute.

00:26The Douchebag of the Day.

00:29So a lot of kids have trouble bonding with their stepparents, but it usually goes a little bit better than this.

00:35A teenager in Wisconsin is facing charges because he spiked his stepfather's energy drinks with cow tranquilizers.

00:47Goddamn.

00:48Yeah.

00:49His name is Tyler Rabenhorst Malone.

00:53I don't know why his coffee's not making me more awake.

00:59I don't know what's happened to this.

01:01I'm so tired, but I keep drinking these energy drinks.

01:05Redline got a bad branch.

01:09You imagine you're drinking Redline, Andy, and it's making you tired.

01:13I'm sorry.

01:14You have just tired.

01:15It's really wrong.

01:16I mean, they call an ambulance.

01:18I've been dosed.

01:20You would think he did something else.

01:21Like, what did you do, Andy?

01:22I got into something apparently I don't know.

01:23I don't know what I ate last night.

01:24It's really kicking in.

01:25Good luck trying to do a show with me in that state.

01:26Andy, what do you think about that?

01:27Oh, boy.

01:28I'm holding them up.

01:29I'm trying to...

01:30Oh, God.

01:31So, Andy, if you found out your girlfriend was wiping her ass with your gym socks, what

01:34would you do?

01:35I don't know.

01:36Uh-oh.

01:37Uh-oh.

01:38I am.

01:39I am.

01:40I am.

01:41I am.

01:42I am.

01:43I am.

01:44I am.

01:45I am.

01:46I am.

01:47I am.

01:48I am.

01:49I am.

01:50I am.

01:51I am.

01:52I am.

01:53I am.

01:54I am.

01:55I am.

01:56I am.

01:57I am.

01:58I am.

01:59I am.

02:00I am.

02:01I am.

02:02I am.

02:03Lethargic.

02:04What are you...

02:05What did you...

02:06Are you on medication?

02:07Uh-uh.

02:08Are you on medication?

02:09I've been trying to wake up.

02:11He's been trying to wake up all day.

02:13Here, drink another one of these red lines.

02:15It's not working.

02:21What's crazy?

02:22So, it's a tranquilizer, right?

02:24Cow tranquilizers.

02:25Not just human.

02:26Right.

02:27Cow tranquilizers.

02:28So...

02:29Just gonna have a monster and start the day.

02:31What's happening?

02:32Don't you feel like you'd almost be like so relaxed?

02:37You almost couldn't even talk?

02:40You're like...

02:41Just in a vegetative state.

02:44No, no, no, no.

02:46Andy?

02:47Green bean?

02:48I think he's trying to communicate with us through the power of his breath.

02:53Oh, there we go.

02:55Andy?

02:57You with us, bud?

02:58Mmm.

02:59Drink some more monster.

03:00Wake up, man.

03:03So, Tyler...

03:05Yes, Tyler.

03:06Stepdad is a dairy farmer.

03:07So, that's why they had cow tranquilizers sitting around.

03:10That's how he had access to them.

03:11Yeah.

03:12But, he started squirting the liquid tranquilizer in his stepdad's energy drink.

03:16The first time he did it, his dad started stumbling around, slurring his speech, trouble breathing, hit his head a couple times.

03:25Yes.

03:26Well, yeah, I mean, you've got no control.

03:27Because you're like, whoa!

03:29It's a cow tranquilizer.

03:31Yeah.

03:32How much those things weigh?

03:34Like a ton?

03:35Oh, my God.

03:36Yeah.

03:37Poor bastard.

03:39That's me.

03:40But, so get this, he goes to the hospital, the doctors say, ah, just lack of sleep.

03:43Yeah, he's just tired.

03:44Lack of sleep.

03:45I don't know.

03:46I can't.

03:49Slept 36 hours in the last two days.

03:52Sleep for two days.

03:55Yep.

03:56Lack of sleep.

03:57That's okay.

03:58The other possible explanation, maybe he's just having too many energy drinks.

04:03Maybe he should stop that.

04:05Stop that.

04:06Tyler claims it was a prank, and he just thought he was trying to be funny, and he never intended

04:11to hurt his stepdad.

04:13I don't agree.

04:15But, unfortunately for him, he's on the hook now for two felonies, and he's going to be

04:20court later this month, his mugshot up at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com.

04:23Oh, poor Tyler's having trouble adjusting.

04:25Oh, look at that.

04:26He's having trouble adjusting.

04:27I just smish my dad.

04:28I just smish my dad so much.

04:30I'm living on a cow farm now.

04:32I actually really think you're really taking a real twist.

04:34See?

04:35I'm not really designed to milk cows.

04:39We are to live in the city.

04:41Don't you feel like that's what it is?

04:43Yeah, it is.

04:44He's a city boy.

04:45He's a city boy whose mom fell for a cowboy.

04:49Yeah.

04:50I totally think that's what it is.

04:51Get up there and milk the cow, boy.

04:53Jesus, it is 6 a.m.

04:55That's right, man.

04:56Oh, I am going to tranquilize your energy drink.

05:00Mmm.

05:01Yeah.

05:02Let it work, yeah.

05:04You're moving the cow.

05:05A little bit sleepy, aren't you?

05:07Yeah, pretty tired.

05:08I want you to milk that, you son of a bitch.

05:10Yeah, man.

05:11That kid's just not ready for farming life.

05:15No, it doesn't seem like he is.

05:16I don't know what I've done, your honor.

05:18It's really like I feel like this is exactly how he talks.

05:21Totally.

05:22Totally.

05:23He's like got tears in his eyes and his mug shot.

05:25I'm serious.

05:26I really don't know what I was doing.

05:27I thought it was funny times.

05:29Do you know how slow the internet connection is out here?

05:32It is wild times.

05:33It's really affected my blog.

05:35I'll just start taking the tranquilizer myself.

05:39Oh, man.

05:40Oh, that's so bad.

05:42Yeah, like let's go for it, dude.

05:43It's really upset.

05:44It's affecting his video game time, that's for sure.

05:48I think that pink eye is just because he's been bawling so much.

05:51I'd like to say that, but I don't know.

05:54But yeah, this little guy, now I'm going to face some pretty serious charges because

06:00of all this.

06:01Felonies.

06:02Yep, absolutely.

06:03No.

06:04No.

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