On today's Peep Show Dave & Chuck learn the hard way why you shouldn't have a hippo as a pet.
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00:00this uh south african farmer had a pet hippo he described like his son sure until it just
00:10mauled him to death oh yeah they'll kill you yeah they're not the south african farmer was mauled
00:16to death by his pet hippo which he previously referred to as like a son to me there he is
00:23right there riding on his i love that picture of him on the hippo oh my god those were happier
00:28times that hippo's like i'm gonna figure out how to kill this yeah one of these days i'm gonna bite
00:36my huge teeth right through he's a real like hefty guy i'm sure that hippo's like get off of me this
00:44guy doesn't know hippos aren't for riding you know what though he lived an incredible life how many
00:50people can say they've ridden a hippo just him not many died doing what he loved yeah he lived an
00:58incredible life it was an incredible life he's riding him like like a bucking bronco like at his
01:04funeral service they should have that and the arms of the angels song playing different pictures of
01:09him riding a hippo steed 40 year old morris ells adopted the hippo whom he named humphrey the hippo
01:16when he found it as a calf and uh just earlier this year footage of him riding the 2 000 pound
01:22beast went viral we gotta watch the footage we gotta see the happiest times you can't find the
01:27original video i know it's so sad it's too bad anyway uh the south african uh said that humphrey
01:33had responded to his calls when he said humphrey yeah he's like i'll kill you yeah and uh he'd even
01:41brush humphrey's teeth for him that's odd that humphrey didn't do something right then right exactly
01:46brushing his teeth uh he said it's a little bit dangerous but i trust him with my heart
01:51that he won't harm anybody that's what he had said yeah he probably just got old enough to like
01:56whatever have kind of hippo testosterone running through him right they're aggressive yeah he said
02:02uh this is what he had said i can swim with him i go in the water he allows me to get on his back i
02:07ride him like a horse he swims next to me we're like father and son um they found him dead in a river
02:14he had been bitten several times by the hippo it's unclear how long he was in the water for you
02:22were really really simple if you think you can befriend a hippo yeah there's there's some simple
02:27stuff happening simple stuff he's a little simple like just look just look i took a bunch of those
02:37photos you guys would be like oh my god chuck what are you doing that's how he's gonna go the hippo
02:43does seem to just like be cool with him but all that will eventually go away
02:48special people will be eaten by their patio blows just a fact
03:18could you just imagine being that hippo for a minute and this guy won't leave you alone he's
03:32like on top of you and you just can't shake him
03:35he's like i'm gonna have to kill him
03:38hey mr hippo
03:40here he comes oh no oh my god
03:43oh my god
03:43oh my god
03:44no no no
03:45it's memorials again
03:46he thinks i'm
03:49he thinks we're friends
03:51he thinks we're friends
03:52i'm gonna ride you mr hippo
03:53no don't ride me please just let me go to the river
03:56i'm gonna ride you mr hippo
03:58oh you're on my you're heavy you're a heavy man
04:00slow down mr hippo
04:03i'm not your friend i understand you're simple
04:06i'm like your daddy
04:07i understand even as a hippo
04:09that you're a simple simple man
04:11and i'm trying to give you a
04:13don't brush my teeth when i open my mouth
04:16i don't like that
04:19i'm one of the most patient hippos in all of hippopotamus
04:22world
04:23i'm not your pet
04:34i am literally one of the most deadly killing machines on the planet
04:39hippo
04:40no
04:41i'm going to ride you
04:43all right
04:44hippo hippo hippo hippo hippo hippo
04:46i don't know what to do i'm at my wheelchair
04:48i'm free come on man
04:49humphrey you look so angry
04:51i don't know
04:54I don't know hippo
04:55i choose the simple man
04:59no
04:59no
04:59no
05:01no
05:05he's still alive
05:06i told you
05:08i told you a thousand times
05:10he told me
05:12okay
05:12oh you still
05:13there we go
05:14that one says thousand
05:15oh i ended up feeling worse for the hippo
05:18i know
05:19he too
05:20The hippo is real patient with him, as far as hippos go.
05:23I really think it's the most, you're right, he was the most patient hippo.
05:27He's like, I let him hit me in the face, I let him brush my teeth, I took him for a ride
05:31through the river.
05:32I swam and he rode me.
05:35That's what he did.
05:36I thought I was a water horse.
05:38Look at me on these hippos.
05:40Take a picture of me on these hippos, please.
05:44I let him take pictures.
05:45Take a picture of me on these hippos.
05:48I don't know how much more I could take.
05:50Look at us, we!
05:52He had said, quote, there's a relationship between me and Humphrey.
05:55That's what some people don't understand.
05:57No.
05:58They think you can only have a relationship with dogs, cats, and domestic animals, but I
06:02have a great relationship with the most dangerous animal in Africa.
06:04Humphrey's like, I'm just going to, I'm going to give it one more week.
06:09That's right.
06:10Water rides me again.
06:12I'm going to drown him in the river in two seconds because I have hippo strength.
06:17Chomp him, chomp him to bits.
06:19It's over for him if he tries to ride me one more time across the river.
06:23That's exactly what happened.
06:24And I think that's it.
06:25Hello, Humphrey!
06:27Oh, that's what you do today's the day!
06:29Come on, let's do our water rides!
06:33It's not a daily thing!
06:35Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
06:38Hippo!
06:38No!
06:39It's degrading when you ride me across the river.
06:42I put my floaties on!
06:43Please!
06:44I can't do it.
06:45I don't even have any other hippos to talk to about this.
06:48Yeah, there was no other hippos around.
06:50No.
06:50Well, because the other hippos would have been like, take care of it.
06:52Yeah, like, what are you doing?
06:54Watch, watch, watch what I do.
06:56What are you doing?
06:57I'm like, Lisa, as the other hippo.
06:59Yeah.
06:59What are you doing?
07:00You're a real judgy, real judgy other hippo.
07:02Yeah, just kill him.
07:04Just bite him in half.
07:05Just drown him in the river.
07:07I don't know.
07:07Take him in the river, bite him in half, and drown him.
07:12Hi, hippo.
07:14I just feel like the hippo was doing hippo stuff, and he just came running up and jumped
07:19on him.
07:19He's like, I don't know what I'll do today.
07:21I'll probably eat something crazy.
07:22Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
07:23I want a hippo!
07:26Let's go for a sweep!
07:27I know, I want a, I'm gonna try and buck you off.
07:30No, don't hold on.
07:32Hold on.
07:33Yep.
07:34Need to talk to some other hippos about this.
07:36He would have been so embarrassed if there was other hippos around.
07:39Oh, my lord.
07:39He's like, if another hippo shows up while he tries to water ride me across the river.
07:43Maybe that's what happened.
07:44Yeah, that's it.
07:45Oh, my God, that's it.
07:45I gotta kill him.
07:46Yeah.
07:46He's like, this is embarrassing.
07:48He's a sweet, simple man.
07:50He loved a hippo ride, but.
07:52He loved a good hippo ride in the river.
07:53There's a hefty price to pay when you, when you, when you, when you, your vices riding hippos.
07:58There was only one way for it to end.
08:00Yeah, that's it.
08:01And it ended the exact way it was always gonna end.
08:04Right.
08:04Drowned in a river, smashed half to death by a hippo.
08:07Yes.
08:07Yes.
08:08Yeah.
08:08Definitely ended the way you think.
08:09Yeah.
08:10Yeah.
08:10Yeah.