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Beasley Digital
  • 9 months ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak discuss the perfect musical accompaniment for a colonoscopy.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Harrison Ford showed off a huge white beard at an event in Los Angeles over the weekend,
00:11just like the one David Letterman started rocking a few months ago.
00:13Harrison was at the American Film Institute's Lifetime Achievement Award Ceremony for John Williams.
00:17He wrote the theme songs for Star Wars and Indiana Jones.
00:21Superman.
00:22And Superman as well.
00:23And he said people still play the Indiana Jones theme wherever he goes.
00:26In fact, Harrison said that music follows me everywhere.
00:31He said he has to hear it every time he walks on stage and off stage.
00:34Oh, yeah.
00:35When he passed some firefighters the other day, they started playing it in their truck.
00:38No way.
00:39And he said the worst part, right before my colonoscopy, my doctor played it for me.
00:43Oh, my God.
00:46That's the best.
00:46We're going in!
00:47That's the best.
00:51So Harrison Ford goes in for a colonoscopy, and they play the Indiana Jones theme song.
00:56What do you think they're going to play when you go in for a colonoscopy, Chuck?
00:59Oh, God.
01:00My God.
01:01A theme song that comes to mind for yours?
01:03Do we have to get it done soon?
01:05Well, there was a movie in the 70s called The Black Hole.
01:09I think they're playing Danger Zone.
01:11Oh, The Danger Zone.
01:12The Highway to the Danger Zone.
01:12The Highway to the Danger Zone.
01:12That's exactly what he's getting himself into.
01:15Oh, that's actually very appropriate.
01:17Yeah, it sure is.
01:18It's something you love, yet it's also very scary for the person who has to go in there.
01:24All right.
01:25All right, Chuck.
01:26We're going to need you to go bare ass on this table here.
01:28Love the show, by the way.
01:29Hey, thanks.
01:30Get that butthole out, bud.
01:32Yeah, it's out.
01:33I got my asses hanging out.
01:34I'm on my side right now.
01:36We're going to play this music, too, to kind of help us get through this part.
01:40Yeah, Top Gun.
01:41I do love it.
01:43Your butthole is The Danger Zone.
01:45Yeah, no.
01:46I get your fancy wordplay.
01:48We're flying into it.
01:49I do.
01:50I see.
01:51You're like Viper.
01:53Yep.
01:54Revin' up the engines right now.
01:56That's me snapping on the gloves.
01:58Oh, boy.
02:01Do I get knocked out for this?
02:02No, no.
02:02You're awake.
02:03Oh, I'm awake, huh?
02:04You're awake.
02:05Okay.
02:06Mind if I take a selfie with you real quick?
02:09Sure.
02:10Go ahead.
02:10All right.
02:11Go ahead.
02:11Just come on in close.
02:13I want to get the butthole in there.
02:15Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:16Let's see here.
02:17All right.
02:18Smile, Chuck.
02:19Yeah, I'm smiling.
02:19My butthole is to pucker it up for him.
02:24Wow, you're a really flexible butthole.
02:26Yeah.
02:27A lot of practice.
02:29That would be awkward.
02:30All right.
02:30Calm down and listen to K-Log.
02:33This is when it starts to get real start serious.
02:37He's lubing it up.
02:41The high notes.
02:43Oh, no.
02:47You'll feel a slight pinch.
02:48Yeah.
02:49Yeah, I'm feeling it.
02:51It might be more fun if we all had theme songs to go along with our procedures.
02:55I was thinking, what would yours be, Dave?
02:59Oh.
03:00Something about being too tight, I guess.
03:02Oh, yeah.
03:03Too small.
03:04It's too tight.
03:05You forgot about Dave's tight little daffodil, didn't you?
03:07I forgot.
03:08I forgot.
03:09Too tight.
03:11There's a song called Too Tight by Con Fonction.
03:13Oh, boy.
03:14Oh, boy.
03:15Wow, it's a 70s, like...
03:18This is mine.
03:18This is my...
03:19This is Dan.
03:20Colonoscopy theme song.
03:23All right.
03:25You got this, Dave.
03:29Just go ahead and relax.
03:31I'm going to have to relax more.
03:32That thing is tight.
03:33Oh, jeez.
03:35A lot of pushback from this one.
03:36Put a camera.
03:39It's just too tight.
03:40Ow!
03:41Ew!
03:45Oh, there you go.
03:45There's our colonoscopy theme song.
03:47What about you, Andy?
03:48Have you thought of what you'd want playing during your colonoscopy?
03:52Probably, I don't know.
03:54It'd have to be something dark.
03:56Dark and filled with regret.
03:58Black Hole, son.
03:59Yeah.
04:00Yeah, that'd be a good one.
04:02Yeah.
04:03It's appropriate.
04:04Here comes Andy's.
04:05Black Hole, son.
04:08Just getting my butthole checked out.
04:10Yeah.
04:13A lot of rain for you to wash away back there.
04:15Black Hole, son.
04:17Won't you come.
04:19Now, the real interesting one is if Lisa had to get one.
04:22Lisa's would probably be more upbeat, I think.
04:25Oh, my God.
04:26Really?
04:26Upbeat?
04:27I don't know.
04:29I don't think so.
04:30I don't feel this at all.
04:32Yeah, that's not your butthole music.
04:33No.
04:33Come on.
04:34I think it would be exciting.
04:35This is not.
04:36This is absolutely not.
04:38This is your butthole song.
04:40No.
04:41This doesn't work.
04:42You better give us a better idea.
04:45Yeah.
04:45Because we're just going to keep coming up with bad songs.
04:52No one's that happy about getting a colonoscopy.
04:54No.
04:55I don't know.
04:55There are some.
04:56Yeah.
04:57You're right.
05:00I'm just like Lisa going, yeah, I'm not feeling this where my butthole music is.
05:03I do kind of like this one, Lise.
05:06People are thinking this should be worth it.
05:07Oh, my God.
05:15Push it.
05:15Push it real good.
05:19They'd have to, bro.
05:23All right, Lisa, relax.
05:26Lisa's got an eight ball jacket on.
05:28Doctor's here.
05:29I like a little groove when I go inside a person.
05:33Yeah.
05:34Hold your mind.
05:37I believe this colonoscopy would be a lot better if we could play some Salt-N-Pepa.
05:41I have to play 1986 hip-hop.
05:46It relaxes me, which is good for you.
05:50It'd be funny to have someone get their colonoscopy to push it.
05:53To request it.
05:55Can you do this and play Salt-N-Pepa's push it in the background?
05:59What would be hilarious, though, is if you brought your own music in.
06:02Where you're just like, listen, I know you're going to do this stuff to me.
06:05And I've got to be in the zone for it.
06:08I created a mix CD.
06:10A lot of suggestions.
06:11Oh, yeah.
06:11Push it's the best we could find so far.
06:14Somebody said So Fresh and So Clean by Outkast.
06:18That's a good one.
06:20What about Knocking on Heaven's Door?
06:22I like that one, too.
06:25So Fresh and So Clean is awesome, but I'd probably not.
06:27I don't know if it's...
06:33You better be careful with this one.
06:34Yeah, I've got to be careful.
06:36So Fresh and So Clean, Clean.
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