Colonoscopy Music

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak discuss the perfect musical accompaniment for a colonoscopy.

Transcript

00:00Harrison Ford showed off a huge white beard at an event in Los Angeles over the weekend,

00:11just like the one David Letterman started rocking a few months ago.

00:13Harrison was at the American Film Institute's Lifetime Achievement Award Ceremony for John Williams.

00:17He wrote the theme songs for Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

00:21Superman.

00:22And Superman as well.

00:23And he said people still play the Indiana Jones theme wherever he goes.

00:26In fact, Harrison said that music follows me everywhere.

00:31He said he has to hear it every time he walks on stage and off stage.

00:34Oh, yeah.

00:35When he passed some firefighters the other day, they started playing it in their truck.

00:38No way.

00:39And he said the worst part, right before my colonoscopy, my doctor played it for me.

00:43Oh, my God.

00:46That's the best.

00:46We're going in!

00:47That's the best.

00:51So Harrison Ford goes in for a colonoscopy, and they play the Indiana Jones theme song.

00:56What do you think they're going to play when you go in for a colonoscopy, Chuck?

00:59Oh, God.

01:00My God.

01:01A theme song that comes to mind for yours?

01:03Do we have to get it done soon?

01:05Well, there was a movie in the 70s called The Black Hole.

01:09I think they're playing Danger Zone.

01:11Oh, The Danger Zone.

01:12The Highway to the Danger Zone.

01:12That's exactly what he's getting himself into.

01:15Oh, that's actually very appropriate.

01:17Yeah, it sure is.

01:18It's something you love, yet it's also very scary for the person who has to go in there.

01:24All right.

01:25All right, Chuck.

01:26We're going to need you to go bare ass on this table here.

01:28Love the show, by the way.

01:29Hey, thanks.

01:30Get that butthole out, bud.

01:32Yeah, it's out.

01:33I got my asses hanging out.

01:34I'm on my side right now.

01:36We're going to play this music, too, to kind of help us get through this part.

01:40Yeah, Top Gun.

01:41I do love it.

01:43Your butthole is The Danger Zone.

01:45Yeah, no.

01:46I get your fancy wordplay.

01:48We're flying into it.

01:49I do.

01:50I see.

01:51You're like Viper.

01:53Yep.

01:54Revin' up the engines right now.

01:56That's me snapping on the gloves.

01:58Oh, boy.

02:01Do I get knocked out for this?

02:02No, no.

02:02You're awake.

02:03Oh, I'm awake, huh?

02:04You're awake.

02:05Okay.

02:06Mind if I take a selfie with you real quick?

02:09Sure.

02:10Go ahead.

02:10All right.

02:11Go ahead.

02:11Just come on in close.

02:13I want to get the butthole in there.

02:15Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:16Let's see here.

02:17All right.

02:18Smile, Chuck.

02:19Yeah, I'm smiling.

02:19My butthole is to pucker it up for him.

02:24Wow, you're a really flexible butthole.

02:26Yeah.

02:27A lot of practice.

02:29That would be awkward.

02:30All right.

02:30Calm down and listen to K-Log.

02:33This is when it starts to get real start serious.

02:37He's lubing it up.

02:41The high notes.

02:43Oh, no.

02:47You'll feel a slight pinch.

02:48Yeah.

02:49Yeah, I'm feeling it.

02:51It might be more fun if we all had theme songs to go along with our procedures.

02:55I was thinking, what would yours be, Dave?

02:59Oh.

03:00Something about being too tight, I guess.

03:02Oh, yeah.

03:03Too small.

03:04It's too tight.

03:05You forgot about Dave's tight little daffodil, didn't you?

03:07I forgot.

03:08I forgot.

03:09Too tight.

03:11There's a song called Too Tight by Con Fonction.

03:13Oh, boy.

03:14Oh, boy.

03:15Wow, it's a 70s, like...

03:18This is mine.

03:18This is my...

03:19This is Dan.

03:20Colonoscopy theme song.

03:23All right.

03:25You got this, Dave.

03:29Just go ahead and relax.

03:31I'm going to have to relax more.

03:32That thing is tight.

03:33Oh, jeez.

03:35A lot of pushback from this one.

03:36Put a camera.

03:39It's just too tight.

03:40Ow!

03:41Ew!

03:45Oh, there you go.

03:45There's our colonoscopy theme song.

03:47What about you, Andy?

03:48Have you thought of what you'd want playing during your colonoscopy?

03:52Probably, I don't know.

03:54It'd have to be something dark.

03:56Dark and filled with regret.

03:58Black Hole, son.

03:59Yeah.

04:00Yeah, that'd be a good one.

04:02Yeah.

04:03It's appropriate.

04:04Here comes Andy's.

04:05Black Hole, son.

04:08Just getting my butthole checked out.

04:10Yeah.

04:13A lot of rain for you to wash away back there.

04:15Black Hole, son.

04:17Won't you come.

04:19Now, the real interesting one is if Lisa had to get one.

04:22Lisa's would probably be more upbeat, I think.

04:25Oh, my God.

04:26Really?

04:26Upbeat?

04:27I don't know.

04:29I don't think so.

04:30I don't feel this at all.

04:32Yeah, that's not your butthole music.

04:33No.

04:33Come on.

04:34I think it would be exciting.

04:35This is not.

04:36This is absolutely not.

04:38This is your butthole song.

04:40No.

04:41This doesn't work.

04:42You better give us a better idea.

04:45Yeah.

04:45Because we're just going to keep coming up with bad songs.

04:52No one's that happy about getting a colonoscopy.

04:54No.

04:55I don't know.

04:55There are some.

04:56Yeah.

04:57You're right.

05:00I'm just like Lisa going, yeah, I'm not feeling this where my butthole music is.

05:03I do kind of like this one, Lise.

05:06People are thinking this should be worth it.

05:07Oh, my God.

05:15Push it.

05:15Push it real good.

05:19They'd have to, bro.

05:23All right, Lisa, relax.

05:26Lisa's got an eight ball jacket on.

05:28Doctor's here.

05:29I like a little groove when I go inside a person.

05:33Yeah.

05:34Hold your mind.

05:37I believe this colonoscopy would be a lot better if we could play some Salt-N-Pepa.

05:41I have to play 1986 hip-hop.

05:46It relaxes me, which is good for you.

05:50It'd be funny to have someone get their colonoscopy to push it.

05:53To request it.

05:55Can you do this and play Salt-N-Pepa's push it in the background?

05:59What would be hilarious, though, is if you brought your own music in.

06:02Where you're just like, listen, I know you're going to do this stuff to me.

06:05And I've got to be in the zone for it.

06:08I created a mix CD.

06:10A lot of suggestions.

06:11Oh, yeah.

06:11Push it's the best we could find so far.

06:14Somebody said So Fresh and So Clean by Outkast.

06:18That's a good one.

06:20What about Knocking on Heaven's Door?

06:22I like that one, too.

06:25So Fresh and So Clean is awesome, but I'd probably not.

06:27I don't know if it's...

06:33You better be careful with this one.

06:34Yeah, I've got to be careful.

06:36So Fresh and So Clean, Clean.

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