Friendly Hipster Turkey

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy who called 911 due to a turkey attack which leads to the discussion of the calm turkeys Lisa has by her house.

Transcript

00:00I guess some folks in California have actually had to call 9-1-1 about an aggressive turkey.

00:16They're aggressive, man.

00:17Here's the story. I'm Matt from KCRA TV. Take a listen in here.

00:22There's a turkey in Davis that likes to defend its territory.

00:25Problem is, that territory is the city's downtown.

00:29It's gotten so aggressive, panic callers are dialing 9-1-1 more and more.

00:34Help!

00:34Hi, um...

00:37Did you hear the gobble?

00:38There's a turkey here that just won't let me leave.

00:42So it's just put me in a corner and I can't exactly go anywhere.

00:44As a grown man, if I had to call 9-1-1 about a turkey, come on.

00:50Dude, Dave.

00:51I'm not. I'm making a run for it.

00:52I'm kicking it. I'm going.

00:53I'm not calling 9-1-1 because the turkey had me in a corner.

00:57They're faster than you think.

00:59This turkey's a little aggressive. You can hear it talking smack while they're on the phone.

01:03It's like, yeah, call the police, bitch!

01:05Yeah, that's what it is.

01:05Call the police! Do it!

01:07They're pissed. Thanksgiving's coming up.

01:09I got it.

01:10They're like, this is ridiculous.

01:11Yeah, I have wild turkeys out by me.

01:13Yeah.

01:13And, uh, no, they're not to be trifled with.

01:18Joe has a story here about a turkey attack he wanted to share, and this happened at a casino in Las Vegas.

01:22Is that right, Joe?

01:24Yeah.

01:24What happened?

01:25How were you attacked by a turkey at a casino in Las Vegas?

01:28Jesus.

01:29I was cleaning a pool.

01:30Uh, they had an elephant.

01:32They had, you know, lions and tigers, and I was cleaning their pool.

01:36And, uh, the turkey was inside the exhibit, and I was just getting done cleaning the pool,

01:42and for some reason the turkey just came out of nowhere and was flapping his wings in my face

01:46and taking his claws and trying to, you know, me in the face with his claws.

01:51Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:51It was pretty wild.

01:52Yeah, I mean, it was, I mean, I got smacked in the face a couple times with his wings.

01:55I was glad I didn't get hit with the claws, but I was able to push, you know, swing, you know,

01:59I had to pull my hand for cleaning the pool with, and I used that to keep the turkey away from me,

02:05and I got out the door quick as I could.

02:07Is this Mandalay Bay where they have those animals?

02:10Uh, no, this was the Mirage Casino.

02:12Oh, the Mirage.

02:12Yeah, the Siegfried Roy's Secret Garden in the back.

02:17They, uh, have the exhibit.

02:19They still have it, too.

02:20Oh, what a day at work.

02:21You're attacked by a turkey at Siegfried and Roy's Secret Garden.

02:25Oh, I like that they call it their secret garden.

02:27It's what happens there that's so secret.

02:29A lot of secrets.

02:30There's a lot of secrets, guys.

02:31A lot of secrets.

02:33There was a spirit.

02:34One big one.

02:36All right, Joe, thanks for calling it.

02:39It's not that much of a secret, is it?

02:40No.

02:41I don't think so, but for a while it was.

02:43It never was a secret.

02:44Come on.

02:45It never was.

02:46Siegfried and Roy was never a secret.

02:48No, I don't think they ever...

02:49I bet there was a time when they were like,

02:51We're just two buddies!

02:54We love animals!

02:55Just love us some tigers and magic!

02:58I do.

02:59I don't think it was just like a...

03:01There were some signs.

03:02Looking back, there were some signs.

03:03Oh, come on.

03:05Yeah.

03:06Just two guys wearing blouses, playing with animals, and doing magic.

03:10We just love tigers!

03:10We have a secret garden!

03:17Yeah.

03:18Yeah.

03:18Our totally straight secret garden.

03:20There it is!

03:23I have seen a turkey in my neighborhood, but it didn't look aggressive.

03:27It looked like it was just minding its business.

03:28It was like Smoke's having a great time.

03:30We were doing turkey stuff.

03:30Yeah, I was having a great time.

03:32There's no pressure.

03:33I didn't see it with a gang or anything.

03:34No.

03:34It was just like solo.

03:35It's just like, hey, Lise!

03:37How's it going?

03:37Just doing turkey stuff.

03:39I've got a bunch of stuff to watch on Netflix this weekend.

03:43How about you?

03:44How's Molly?

03:45Yeah.

03:46How's Lou?

03:47Seriously, you don't mind if I use your Wi-Fi, right?

03:51What was the password again?

03:53Is there a Thai restaurant around here you can recommend?

03:56I don't mean to bother.

03:57I don't want to be a bother.

03:58Lisa, no shock, Lisa has seen a turkey in her neighborhood.

04:05And he's pretty cool.

04:06Yeah.

04:06He's cool.

04:07He's chill.

04:07Yeah, he's chill.

04:08He's a chill turkey.

04:09Well, that's not going to be cool.

04:10Most turkeys are living in constant fear of being eaten.

04:13Right.

04:14You know, not in Lisa's neighborhood.

04:16They're not.

04:16It's like wearing a University of Michigan sweatshirt.

04:20It was like, big weekend, big game this weekend.

04:23So good to see you, Lise.

04:24Go Blue!

04:25Go Blue!

04:26Okay, turkey.

04:29Say, turkey, it's got little wings.

04:31It's little sleeves.

04:35So I made you some lemonade.

04:36I've been making this lemonade for people, passing it out.

04:39That's what I do.

04:41Heard you got us good stone pizza recipe in the way.

04:44You mind sliding that my way?

04:47I've heard you like a thinner crust.

04:51I'm a thick crust person myself, but...

04:54You know, I like to plump up, but I'm not opposed to carbs.

05:04Someone said, Lisa's neighborhood turkey is probably a fan of craft beer.

05:08Yeah, for sure.

05:09I've been brewing up my own on the stovetop here.

05:11I'll bring some over for you.

05:12It's pumpkin brew.

05:13It's good.

05:15I try to hit all the seasons.

05:16He's a hipster.

05:17He's a hipster.

05:19Just got this pretty cool steampunk glass bottle set.

05:24I don't know if there's many hipsters near where I like it.

05:28I don't know about that one.

05:29I love a steampunk turkey.

05:30He's like, look at this top hat.

05:31Check it out.

05:31There's a clock inside.

05:33See all these moving parts?

05:36Pretty sweet, right?

05:39Lisa's hipster neighborhood turkey.

05:40This is my cool watch.

05:42It runs on steam.

05:43Yeah.

05:44Ha ha ha.

05:45Ha ha ha.

05:47Ha ha.

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