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Brut America
  • 3/25/2025
"The winner of this vote was decided by a fair and open election."

A look back at the weirdest presidential tradition there is — the Thanksgiving turkey pardon.

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News
Transcript
00:00The winner of this vote was decided by a fair and open election conducted on the White House website.
00:08This was a fair election.
00:10Unfortunately, Carrots refused to concede and demanded a recount, and we're still fighting with Carrots.
00:17And I will tell you, we've come to a conclusion.
00:20Carrots, I'm sorry to tell you the result did not change.
00:31For the past seven years, I've established another tradition,
00:34embarrassing my daughters with a cornucopia of dad jokes about turkeys.
00:43This year, they had a scheduling conflict.
00:49Actually, they just couldn't take my jokes anymore.
00:52They were fed up.
00:53Even though peas and carrots have received a presidential pardon,
00:57I have warned them that House Democrats are likely to issue them both subpoenas.
01:06Nonetheless, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I will be issuing both peas and carrots a presidential pardon.
01:15The holiday season is upon us, and the president receives his annual gift from the North American Turkey Growers Association.
01:21The huge bird seems blissfully indifferent, both to the distinguished company he's keeping at the moment,
01:26and to the fate that's in store for him.
01:29Should we tell him?
01:32It seems the Democrats are accusing me of being too soft on turkey.
01:38But bread and butter, I should note that unlike previous witnesses, you and I have actually met.
01:47It's very unusual.
01:51It is hard to believe that this is my seventh year of pardoning a turkey.
01:54Time flies, even if turkeys don't.
02:02That was good.
02:03I thought it was pretty good.
02:05The White House is called the People's House, and we're going to call Marshmallow and Yam the People's Turkey.
02:11The office of the presidency, the most powerful position in the world, brings with it many awesome and solemn responsibilities.
02:20This is not one of them.
02:27I am honored to follow in the footsteps of President Lincoln and President Truman,
02:31who began this tradition 51 years ago of keeping at least one turkey off the Thanksgiving table.
02:38I can say Happy Thanksgiving right in front of him, but it doesn't matter.
02:42So now I have a task, and that is to grant a full presidential pardon to May and Flower.
02:53They will be shortly flown to Disney World, where they will serve as honorary grand marshals for the Thanksgiving Day Parade.
03:01Hope that honor doesn't go to their head.

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