2 members of the transgender community, 2 very different generations

Brut America

Two trans people. Two very different generations. Joon, 24, and Genn, 58, have a conversation about their trans identities.

Transcript

00:00Being trans to me is an act of resistance in a world that tends to kind of stifle us.

00:05That's the beautiful thing about young people. I mean they are really

00:09anti of being who they are. I never had that experience,

00:13so when I look at it, I just think it's a really beautiful thing.

00:15I came out three years ago, and I knew at about eight years old. That was like

00:31late 1960s, 69. And there was no transgender. There wasn't even a word.

00:37And, you know, I got dressed up with my next door neighbor and my sister's brownie outfit.

00:43But as soon as I got home, you know, I tried to explain to my mother. I was like, you know,

00:47oh god, I just love this, you know. And she was like, listen, you've got to take that off.

00:51Your father's about to come home. You know, he'll essentially murder you. You know, those were

00:56not her exact words, but, you know, I knew it then. And the feeling kind of never left me.

01:02And then I was essentially in the closet for almost 40 years. And on May 1st, 2017,

01:13I woke up. And I was like, I woke up in the morning, and I said, I don't know what I'm doing.

01:19I said, I can't do this anymore. I can't suppress it. I can't fight it.

01:23When I initially came out as non-binary, I did not actually claim the term trans,

01:28specifically because of, you know, historical media depictions that often portrayed

01:33binary trans folks. And personally, I did not quite identify with that.

01:36But, you know, upon doing more reading and kind of learning, at least in my own experience,

01:42that trans just essentially is a way of articulating anything that is not cisgender.

01:47And the fact that, you know, I don't necessarily identify with the gender that was assigned to me

01:51at birth. As I identify as a trans woman, for me, it's very important because it's something I

01:56wanted my whole entire life. And I must say, because I was so indoctrinated as a male,

02:04I got a lot of things wrong about women, about the way to look, about the way to act,

02:09about the way to be. I had a lot of sexist attitudes about that. And here I am, you know,

02:15wanting to be a woman. You know, so it was a real learning process for me.

02:20You know, people need to understand pronouns and pronoun usage. I call all the time on phone.

02:26It's really hurtful when I get on the call and I say my name is Jennifer and I say my pronouns,

02:32and I repeatedly have to correct the person that, you know, you're using the wrong pronouns.

02:40Once, twice, by the third time, I've had enough. You know what I mean?

02:45When I first came out as non-binary, it was a rather new thing in culture. And I remember

02:53really feeling the need to express and proclaim my transness, even explicitly and externally.

03:01And so even though the situation might not call for it, I would force myself to wear makeup and

03:07wear high heels to my econ class in college. Like, who does that? But of course, as more and

03:13more people have really started respecting my pronouns and have, you know, really normalized

03:18the use of they, them in reference to me, it's also helped me feel so much more secure in myself

03:23where I no longer feel the need to perform my transness explicitly.

03:27I love non-binary and I'll tell you why. Because it blows up gender. You know,

03:32that's the beautiful thing about, I don't, I don't identify as non-binary.

03:36But I think that in years to come, I think it's going to have a big effect on sexism.

03:43And I think we'll see a lot less sexism as a result of non-binary. So non-binary really is

03:48a beautiful thing. It's a very difficult concept, I have to say, for most people, particularly

03:54older generations to really get. I think going forward, it's going to make the world a better

04:00place. It really will. My hope. But, you know, I'm a dad. I identify as dad. I like being called

04:09dad. She has a mother. So, and my daughter is 21. And, you know, the only thing I ask her is,

04:16you know, in an open space like this, and you're 20 feet away, don't call for dad.

04:22And as you stated about your relationship with your daughter, I too am a child of a Korean

04:29woman, and also an older sibling to a Korean woman. And essentially, like, my relationship

04:40with them as their son or as their brother is something very near and dear to my heart. And so,

04:45like, I share that to say that, like, with my mom, I have no intentions of ever coming out

04:49as transgender because I pride my relationship with her as her, as her son. And I think that

04:56is what I would want older trans folks to know, is that we're very complex people. Sometimes the

05:01trans identity is at the forefront, sometimes it's not, and that's perfectly fine. For an elder

05:06person, I think we have to do a better job listening, you know, and not sort of dictate

05:13about how a person should be, you know. I think what you said about listening is also applicable

05:19to us as well. What I yearn from for more young people is this idea of, like, respecting the

05:27people who have, like, created these spaces for us. And I think that, you know, sometimes that

05:32gets lost in translation. And especially kind of considering that for so many of us, it's really

05:38hard to imagine a life past 40 just because we haven't really seen any literature or resources

05:44surrounding, kind of, transgender longevity. Like, why not make the most by connecting with

05:49our elders who can speak to what it means, like, to imagine a life, you know, past 40. And, like,

05:54that is only really accomplished by active listening and by essentially actively creating

05:59spaces where we can have these intergenerational conversations. We do have things in common.

06:04I really think my true takeaway right now is just kind of feeling very viscerally how important it

06:11is for us to continue to facilitate spaces where, like, people of different generations can interact.

06:17I think that we have seen quite a gap in that, keeping in mind that our elders are also so

06:22important and that there needs to be some kind of intergenerational bridge as we continue to,

06:28kind of, collectivize and move forward. There is no way to be. The way to be is the way Jen wants to be.

06:34The way to be is the way Jen wants to be.

06:36Gemini's are the best and we will be keeping in contact.

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