00:00How about letting go of your dreams?
00:02That's a big one.
00:04It's a big one for us.
00:06They let go of their dream job,
00:09their dream path in life,
00:11right?
00:12You know, like letting go of
00:14not having a family,
00:16or you know,
00:18how do you let go of a dream?
00:20When we talk about acceptance
00:22and the opposite of it,
00:23which is control,
00:25anything within our control
00:28that we can do,
00:30those are the things that we can commit to.
00:33On the other hand,
00:35the things that we can't control,
00:37right?
00:38For example,
00:39the dreams that we talk about,
00:40for example,
00:41unfortunately,
00:42for some reason,
00:43that dream can no longer happen
00:46and it is within,
00:47outside of our control.
00:49We need to accept it.
00:51Maybe it's not up to others,
00:53but as a fellow practitioner,
00:54I think it's important to say
00:56the opposite of acceptance is control.
00:58Because I don't think a lot of people realize
01:00that that's the opposite.
01:01One misconception they have is
01:03if I don't accept it,
01:05then it means I'm still solving it.
01:07That's why a lot of people think
01:09to accept is to give up,
01:11is to be passive,
01:12is to resign,
01:14to something like,
01:16okay, I'll just accept it.
01:17Especially in Tagalog,
01:18you can really feel the passivity.
01:20Okay, I'll just accept it.
01:21Right?
01:22They say,
01:23you're being so martyred.
01:24Correct.
01:25Yes, yes.
01:26You know that there are these gatekeepers
01:29in every job,
01:31dream job, etc.
01:33And actually,
01:34the more we accept
01:35that we don't have control there,
01:37then you say,
01:38it's a waste of time
01:39because time is precious.
01:40Right?
01:41Because the time we spend
01:42wishing on the what-ifs,
01:44we can use that towards the things
01:46that we really have control over.
01:48You say,
01:49okay,
01:50if this doesn't work for this company,
01:51let's say my dream job is tied
01:53to a specific company.
01:54Correct.
01:55And at least for the moment,
01:56for the present,
01:57there's no movement
01:59in terms of actualizing that dream.
02:02In other words,
02:03let's not say,
02:04not because it didn't happen there,
02:06it can't happen ever.
02:08So for example,
02:10that's right,
02:11we have a dream we want,
02:12but it's not really the timing today.
02:14My first question to that person is,
02:16why do you want that?
02:17What is going on inside of you
02:20that really pushes you
02:21to pursue that?
02:23Let's not waste it
02:24because it's true to you.
02:26It's important to you.
02:27Let's look for other ways
02:29or options
02:30that will still be true to yourself,
02:33but to other things
02:35that you already have control over.
02:36Right?
02:37Because what happens
02:38when we ruminate
02:39or we focus on the things
02:41that we can control,
02:42again,
02:43we're more stuck.
02:44Meaning,
02:45if it was before,
02:47if it was before,
02:48and then,
02:49and then,
02:50because you start to negotiate
02:52with something you cannot change,
02:54you're basically putting
02:56less and less hope in you.
02:58Right?
02:59So acceptance to me is like this,
03:02you see it for what it is,
03:04instead of wasting your energy
03:07changing it,
03:08you're gonna use that energy
03:10to cope through it.
03:12Right?
03:13Meaning,
03:14we can't change it.
03:15We need to accept the fact
03:16that this is what it is.
03:18And acceptance-commitment therapy
03:20is, for me,
03:21the most effective way
03:22to understand yourself as well.
03:24Because it's not like
03:26we're teaching people,
03:28even to ourselves,
03:29that the problem of life
03:31won't go away.
03:33Right?
03:34We can't avoid it.
03:36And then sometimes,
03:37if they haven't really,
03:39they're not there yet,
03:41they've completely moved on
03:43or accepted the whole,
03:45it's a process of grieving
03:47when you end something
03:48or when you let go of a dream.
03:50Right?
03:51There's grief as well.
03:52But if they're not there yet,
03:54you'll just say,
03:55let's just accept that
03:56you're impatient.
03:58Accept the impatience
03:59without judgment,
04:00with kindness.
04:01It's okay,
04:02I know this is what
04:03I need to go through
04:04and I'm also accepting
04:06that there is impatience in here.
04:08That's why it's even harder.
04:10Correct.
04:11That's a really nice one.
04:13Just accept that this is
04:14what you're feeling today.
04:15Yeah.
04:16I agree with that.
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