"My mom put my brothers and I on a 'husbands in training' course"

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A man says his mom put him and his brothers through a 'husbands in training' course aged eight to make them better partners.  Douglas Weaver, 36, and his two brothers would arrive home from school to find their mom, Nana Mickey, sitting and waiting to question them about what they learned.   While they were in lessons, Douglas' mom would listen to the radio and read books to be as informed as she could for when her two children returned home from school.  She set about teaching her boys how to be good partner - putting them through a 'husbands in training' course she devised herself.   They would learn everything from healthy communication skills, etiquette, consent and all about the porn industry.  Douglas has been married to his wife, Kristen Weaver, 36, for 16 years and said that his mom's teachings shaped him into the person he is today.  Douglas, an artist and educator, from St Louis, Missouri, US, said: "The thing I remember the most was when my mom taught us about the way you speak to and about your significant other in different group settings.  "How you talk about them in front of your family, their family or your group of friends and how you speak about them when they are there or not.  "Making sure that the way you speak to them and about them is respectable and make sure you don't say anything that tears them down."  When Douglas and his brothers were at school, their mom would plan what she planned to educate them on.   Douglas said: "When we got home from school and we were eating dinner, we would talk about what was going on in the world that day.  "It became more formal and she wanted us to know what it was like being an adult, being in a relationship and how to maintain and grow a healthy relationship."  Douglas' mom decided to put her children through a 'husbands in training' course where they would learn everything from etiquette skills to the exploitation of women.  He said conversations were uncomfortable at times but their mom made the home a "comfortable environment" to have the conversations in.

Transcript

00:00So, when I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called Husbands

00:08in Training.

00:09That's what she called it.

00:10It was a full, like, multiple year curriculum on how to be a better husband.

00:16It covered everything from eating etiquette to chivalry to, like, the ethics of the porn

00:25industry.

00:26What to do if your spouse says something and the information that they give is wrong.

00:33How to handle it if they say something wrong in public versus in private.

00:37When it is appropriate to correct them and when it isn't.

00:41We talked about consent.

00:43We talked about just the basics of respecting and honoring women and listening to women

00:52and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being.

00:57And then when I was in high school, my dad realized a lot of the things that we were

01:02learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up.

01:08And so he decided he also wanted to take Husbands in Training, so myself, my brothers, and my

01:14dad were all learning how to be better men from my mom through this Husbands in Training

01:18course.

01:19And my mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on

01:28our wedding day.

01:30There are parts of this curriculum that should never see the light of day.

01:34Like the porn quiz.

01:36But there's a lot in it that I think I will revive to do with my son.

01:42I'm definitely raising my son to understand how consent works and that the necessity for

01:46consent doesn't end when you get married.

01:49That things still need to be consensual.

01:51Identifying when women are in distress or in danger because of other men and when to

01:59intervene and how to appropriately intervene.

02:01Healthy conflict resolution and how to express your feelings in a healthy way and appropriate

02:09ways to respond when someone expresses their feelings to you.

02:13Because I gotta say, my brothers and I, we're all married and I think all three of our wives

02:19really appreciate the hard work that my mom did trying to raise some decent men.

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