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00:00It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights, it's time to spell the words
00:25on the spelling show tonight. But it's not just any spelling show, of which there are
00:30likely hundreds. It's Guy Montgomery's Come On Spelling Bee! Tonight, I've pulled four
00:39top tier names from my comedian Rolodex and invited them here into a studio to put their
00:43brains through the spelling mincer. Speaking of spelling mincer, I would do it M-I-N-C-E-R.
00:49Look at me go! But that's all the spelling you'll see from me this evening as these four
00:54brave souls will be competing for this fame and fortune in the form of a giant piece of
00:59Coroplast that gives them next week's episode. Wow, the loser! The loser will wear a conical
01:08hat that looks like that. In a corner, no less. The most humiliating part of any room.
01:17Who are these people? Well, only some of the best and brightest comedians in our chosen
01:23hemisphere. Please welcome Maria Williams, Jason Horvath, Julia Moyes, and our defending
01:33champion, Reece Mathewson. Now let's get spelling!
01:44The spelling round is an opportunity for our spellers to show themselves, each other, and
01:48you at home exactly what we're dealing with tonight. In it, they select which receptacle
01:53they'd like to spell from and will be given a corresponding word. The Coward's Cup, words
01:57for those who struggle with self-confidence, are easy-peasy and worth one point. The Person's
02:03Purse, for people with an accurate read on their abilities, are more challenging, pallenging,
02:07yet still spellable words worth two points. The Bucket of Bravery is for people who like
02:12to strike fear into the heart of their opponents and then, upon hearing the word read out loud,
02:16speak for themselves. These words are strenuous, penuous, and, accordingly, worth three points.
02:23Now we know the rules, let's get into it. First up is Billy T Award nominee and real-life
02:28teacher, it's Maria Williams! Maria, your two most recent live shows were called Anxiety
02:37the Musical and ADHD the Musical. Do you think these two mental ailments will come to your
02:43aid this evening? No, absolutely not. Yeah, they're going to screw me over big time. Are
02:48you a good speller? I was a good speller. When was that? When I was seven years old.
02:53I was told I had the spelling age of a 12-year-old and so I could have obviously gone with that
03:00and become a prodigy, but I decided to give up. And so I didn't try spelling for the next
03:04five years and honestly haven't tried since. So I have the spelling age of a 12-year-old
03:08or, I guess, a smart seven-year-old. How do you retire from spelling at seven when
03:13I feel like it's still such a part of day-to-day life? No, I knew orchestra and all the colours
03:20so I was good to go. Oh wow. And also, do you know you're the third member of the Williams
03:26family dynasty to appear on this show? Yes. So far, you guys, Paul and Guy, are zero from
03:31two. What do you plan on doing differently from your idiot brothers? I've got nothing
03:37for that. We all bring shame upon our mother who was a literal English teacher. It's an
03:43absolute pleasure to have you with us, Maria. Thank you, I'm really excited. Spelling for
03:47the first time since she was seven years old. Which receptacle would you like to spell from?
03:52I think I'll go for the person's purse. A fine choice. The person's purse it is. And
03:57your word is Fergalicious. Oh. Okay, okay. And to help you on your way, you can ask for
04:04a language of origin, a definition, and a sentence. All of the above. All of the above.
04:09The language of origin is music. Fergalicious definition, make them boys go loco. That sentence
04:18is basically why the word's in the show. Just wanted to say it. And the sentence, you will
04:25not impress a sommelier by describing a 1984 French Chablis as Fergalicious. Okay, Fergalicious,
04:35but I ain't promiscuous. F-E-R-G-A-L-I-C-I-O-U-S, Fergalicious. That is correct. But I ain't
04:53promiscuous. Very insistent that she is not promiscuous. I'm assuming that's a lyric
04:58from the song. And up next, you've heard him on the radio, you've seen him on TV, he might
05:03have even unpied one of your cricket games, it's Jason Hoy! Jason, you've been on Xena,
05:12you've been on Hercules. God, it must feel good to finish the big budget New Zealand
05:17Greek mythology trifecta by appearing on the Gaumont Spelling Bee. Oh, look, it's a
05:23tremendous privilege, Guy, actually, to be here. It's the highlight of my career. My
05:27mum's very excited about it. The thing that's concerning me the most at the moment is coming
05:32across as an absolute der-brain. And to sort of reiterate that point, I'm not even sure
05:38how you spell der-brain, which just kind of shows that I'm already a bit of a massive
05:43der-brain. You know, der-brain doesn't get a big look these days, it's nice to hear it
05:48out in the wild again. But you know, this is the thing too, Guy, I think, that people
05:52can get a little bit carried away with the correct spelling and stuff. I'm one of those
05:56guys that's more interested in the sort of vibe of a word, you know what I mean? The
06:01feeling of a word. I remember picking up a quill as a little fella, you know? Or you
06:07spelled it incorrectly. But I'm more interested in the emotions that it evokes, if you know
06:11what I mean. So I'm looking forward to this evening very much. Sadly you aren't marked
06:16on your emotional connection to language, but it's a fascinating backstory. Thank you,
06:20Jason. Well, first things first, you've got to spell something. Which receptacle do you
06:25choose? Oh, look, let's go hard from the beginning. Let's go bucket of bravery.
06:29Oh! Thank you.
06:33From the bucket of bravery, Jason, your word is charcuterie.
06:42Could you put that in a sentence for me, please, Guy? I'll put it in a sandwich.
06:48The reason they call them charcuterie boards is because me and the fellas are sick and
06:52tired of eating them every damn day. That doesn't help me at all.
06:58Um, charcuterie. C-H-A-Q-U-T-E-R-E.
07:08That is incorrect. I'm so sorry. Oh, did you want the actual spelling of it?
07:14Charcuterie is spelled C-H-A-R-C-U-T-E-R-I-E. But more interestingly, how do you feel your
07:21vibe was with the word? Yeah, look, I was really vibing off it, I can tell you. I feel
07:26good. I mean, I got it completely wrong, but I don't feel any shame, which I thought I
07:31would. Well, there's a lot of spelling still to come. Hopefully we can get some shame inside
07:35you. Our third speller has appeared on over 30 Australian television shows, which, with
07:41the current exchange rate, is the equivalent of 32.7 New Zealand television shows. It's
07:46star of stage and screen, Julia Morris. Julia, in your long and storied career, this is your
07:56first time on a New Zealand panel show. Yes. Does that mean you're on the way up or down?
08:01Oh. Well, I'm a woman in showbiz. I just go up and down and up and down and up and down
08:06and up and down. Hashtag consent doesn't make us bad people, it's how we keep the job.
08:17It's a pleasure to have you with us. Pleasure. Are you a strong speller? It's not one of
08:22my special gifts. I've got a lot of special gifts. Spelling is definitely not one of them.
08:26I had a dictionary as a kid. I was always told to look up the word in the dictionary
08:30and I got a bit confused and had a biscuit. So, yeah, I don't hold out great hope, but
08:36I'm here to get involved. It's honestly a delight to have you with us. Which receptacle
08:40would you like the spell from? Oh my gosh, Bucket O'Bravery. Oh, right away. I don't
08:48want to fail at the little baby one early on. It's a sensible strategy and your word
08:53from the Bucket O'Bravery is loggeria. Oh, well, I would love to hear it in a sentence,
09:00please, Guy. After learning he was suffering from loggeria, Michael was thrilled to find
09:05out that didn't mean he shat out liquid logs. Oh, yeah, I'm going to need a bigger window
09:11in. The definition? Yes, please, sir. A communication disorder that causes excessive wordiness and
09:16repetitiveness and repetitiveness and wordiness and repetitiveness. May I have the whole word
09:23again? Because I do like a jazz cigarette on occasion. And then what happens is by the
09:27time you get to the end of the sentence, I've already forgotten what you've asked me. So,
09:31I'm asking you to please spell loggeria. OK. L-O-G. U-E. I don't know why. Loggeria.
09:57That is incorrect. But as Jason's gentle hand on the shoulder suggested, I felt you
10:03were really vibing with that word. Loggeria is spelled L-O-G-O-R-R-H-O-E-A. Or. Just
10:12being silly now. There's no way I was going to get that. It can also end in just H-E-A.
10:17It cannot end however you said it, though. Thank you very much, Julia. No points for
10:22you. And it wouldn't be a game on Spelling Bee without me, or our carryover champion,
10:27Rhys Matthews! Rhys, you are dressed like you went straight into retirement after your
10:36last appearance. Yeah, no, I'm a changed man this week, Guy. Tell me about it. Well, last
10:41week I was a nervous wreck. It was genuinely the most anxious I've been since the morning
10:46of my wedding. Seriously? Oh, yeah. That was terrifying. What came over you? I don't know,
10:52I was so afraid of being a big dum-dum. But now I've won one, I'm relaxed, and that desperate
10:57need to win from last week has only intensified. So I need this one badly. Well, which receptacle
11:04would you like to spell from? Bucket of Bravery, baby. All right! From the Bucket of Bravery,
11:11your word is Punga Werewere. Definition, please. An eight-legged critter that is constantly
11:17building webs to accommodate its vast sneaker collection. Can I have it in a sentence? Hurry
11:24up, mate, I'm not here to f*** Punga Werewere. Punga Werewere. Before you start, I will remind
11:32you, for correct spelling you have to have the tohuto or macrons in the right place.
11:38Okay, P-U with a macron, N-G-A, W-E-R-E, W-E-R-E. That is incorrect. I'm so sorry. Every letter
11:52was right. You got the first tohuto, but there is also another tohuto on the A. So no points
11:58awarded for Rhys, your anxiety can spike a little higher. And after our first round,
12:03Maria has an early lead as the only correct speller, but I'd bet anything that will change
12:07as time marches on. The terraforas! As I've said though, in this show everything can and
12:17maybe will change. In anticipation of the night going badly for some of you, we've come
12:21up with an exciting new game. The Gaimon Spelling Bee is a family-friendly show, so it's safe
12:30to say you can't use established swear words on it, even though I just did. But that doesn't
12:35stop us from using our beautiful brains and imaginations. Spellers, you have the ad break
12:40to invent a swear word and explain its use. The best new swear word receives a point and
12:47they will have their word added to the swear word canon. That word will also no longer
12:51be allowed to be said on the show. Spellers, your mahi starts now. Everyone else get a
12:57break. We'll see you soon with more Gaimon Spelling Bee!
13:15Welcome back. This week's episode is brought to you by Tomfoolery. If you and your friends
13:20are looking to muck around, why not hire a professional dipshit? Give Tomfoolery a call
13:26and he guarantees to bring three bad ideas and unbridled enthusiasm for anything you suggest.
13:32Next time you and yours are pissing about, get the professionals in. It's not really
13:37Tomfoolery without the real Tomfoolery. Before the ad break, I asked these four turkeys to
13:45come up with a new swear word, something even more offensive than calling a person a turkey.
13:50Let's see how they did. Starting with you, Maria.
13:56I think I can see the neurological pathways you used to get there, but walk us through it.
14:00Well, just remember my neurological pathways are damaged, but frickalicious. I'm a teacher,
14:07so obviously don't want to swear on national television. I want to keep that registration.
14:12And also, um, alicious, because again, I'm not promiscuous, because again, I want to
14:18keep my job as a teacher. Thank you. Frickalicious.
14:21You've sort of just painted yourself as someone who has this yearning desire to swear and
14:26root as much as possible. And beholden to these professional standards.
14:32Ah, hopefully my boss does not watch this show.
14:36Thank you very much, Maria. Jason, what have you done?
14:39Very excited about this one guy, actually. It's a moment of inspiration.
14:48Arse clamp. A-S-S-C-L-A-M-P. Two points, please.
14:56Tell us about your thinking. How did it come to you?
14:59You know, you have one of these guys at every party who's just such a massive dickhead
15:04that whenever he opens his mouth, the whole party comes to an end.
15:08It clamps, if you will. It comes to a stop. Arse clamp.
15:12Thank you very much, Jason. Julia.
15:14I just got all my favourite letters that aren't the ones that go A-E-I-O-U.
15:21Can you say it?
15:26Yeah, nice. I don't mind it. That's really good.
15:28Phonetically, it does have some similarities to pre-existing swear words.
15:33It's very rewarding to say. Thank you very much, Julia.
15:37And finally, Rhys, what have you got for us?
15:40Spunt.
15:48Talk to me. It's a portmanteau of s*** and g***.
15:57You get the feeling these three at the end aren't teachers.
16:01Yeah. Would you prefer an option that doesn't have the C word in it?
16:05If you've got one. Just feels good.
16:08Spunt.
16:10Looks like a portmanteau of s*** and g***.
16:18Can we get all of the swear words up for my judging, please?
16:22I like them all.
16:24But there's something about arse clamp I like the best,
16:26so congratulations, Jason. The point is yours.
16:31You get a point. It's a brilliant new swear word
16:33which can unfortunately never be said again.
16:35Just try it.
16:37Told you.
16:39OK, now that's out of the way, let's check in on our feelings.
16:46In front of you each is a very high-tech artisanal mystery box.
16:51And inside of each box is a mystery item.
16:53Your job will be to feel, identify and then spell the item in your box.
16:58No peeking.
17:01I only accept answers that are spelled out to me
17:04and in the competitive spirit of the game, should you want it,
17:07I will be able to offer each of you a clue in the form of the feeling
17:11that the thing you are feeling makes me feel.
17:16Rhys, you're up first.
17:18OK. You excited? Pumped.
17:23Here we go.
17:27Oh. I know what this is and I hate the feeling of this.
17:31Oh, give us your little clue.
17:35The feeling, what your feeling makes me feel,
17:38is both excited and wasteful.
17:41Excited? Yeah.
17:45You need to get out more, man.
17:47I'm pretty busy being successful.
17:52If this is what I think it is...
17:56P-O-L-Y-S-T-Y-R-E-N-E.
18:03That is correct!
18:06Polly Starry.
18:08Excited because I've got a new package.
18:11Wasteful because I've got a new package.
18:14Well done, Rhys. Julia. Oh, my gosh.
18:16You've seen how it works?
18:18Well, Nita, have the hands back in a box again.
18:21Anyway...
18:23Hands in. Lunge on in.
18:25Oh! Oh!
18:27OK. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
18:29Is it alive, guys? It's not alive.
18:31Oh, all right, then. In that case, I'm getting involved.
18:34What is that funny little thing?
18:36OK. OK, so that is a T-O-Y.
18:49It is not how you spell alligator.
18:53A-L-L-I-G-A-T-O-R.
18:55That would have been correct
18:57had you not already submitted the guess of toy.
19:00Oh!
19:01I'm competitive, but come on, man.
19:03If you went to a reptile salesman and said,
19:06I would like an alligator, and they gave you that,
19:09you would go, that's a toy.
19:11Yeah. Yeah.
19:13I'd say that's a toy alligator.
19:15I'm doing my best. He's a stickler.
19:17I am used to being a loser. I've got no issue with it, love.
19:21Oh!
19:23I am! I've got no issue with it. I love it.
19:25I'll wear it like a badge.
19:27OK, Jason. Yes.
19:29On your own time. OK.
19:31Good luck, love.
19:35Oh, it's that ball-y thing, isn't it?
19:37What's it called?
19:39The...
19:40The Shacky Shacky...
19:43..douche-douche. Um...
19:46I know what I'm holding.
19:49I just cannot remember what it's called.
19:52Would you like to know the feeling, what your feeling makes me feel?
19:55Yes, please, guy.
19:57Like a smart little baby.
20:01That's a really good clue.
20:03Oh, this is doing my head in.
20:05I don't know. All that's coming out in my head at the moment
20:08is douche-douche.
20:10And...
20:12..I know for a fact this isn't a douche-douche.
20:15Can you please tell me what it is?
20:17Cos it's really beginning to piss me off.
20:19Only once you've submitted a guess via spelling.
20:22D-O-O-S-H.
20:24D-O-O-S-H.
20:26Is not how you spell Newton's Cradle.
20:31OK, and at last we come to Maria.
20:33Surely putting your hands in a mystery box is good for your anxiety?
20:37No.
20:39No, it's a terrible idea.
20:41Nothing to be scared of.
20:49Oh.
20:55Ooh. Ooh.
20:57Sorry for touching it so much.
20:59Well...
21:01Is it...
21:03P-O-U-N...
21:07P-O-U-N-A-N-U.
21:10That is correct!
21:12CHEERING
21:14Well done, Maria. It is a poh-dah move.
21:17And that was thrilling and mysterious fun.
21:20And it all leaves Maria with a tight lead.
21:22And now we're going to need a minute to sanitise our contestants' hands.
21:26Who knows where that Newton's Cradle has been?
21:29I know, I found it in a dump.
21:31We'll see you soon with more Go Votes Spelling Bee!
21:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:49Welcome back from the hinterland of the advertising industry
21:52and to the relative warmth and safety of the studio.
21:55This is Guy Montgomery's time on Spelling Bee,
21:57but don't get too comfortable because we're going on safari.
22:05Welcome to the animal kingdom.
22:07One of my favourite kingdoms, though a lot of people are asking,
22:10when is it going to become an animal republic?
22:13Especially considering the lion is more of a tokenistic leader these days
22:17and hardly an active participant in day-to-day governance anyway.
22:21To help me navigate the wild world of animals,
22:24it's a pleasure to welcome the thinking man's David Attenborough.
22:27It's Sanjay Bhatia!
22:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:31Hello, Sanjay. Hi, Guy.
22:33You're a fan of animals?
22:35Not really. I support Newcastle United.
22:37I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.
22:40Well, they are. The more you know, huh?
22:43In this round, the rules couldn't be simpler.
22:46Players will select an animal and...
22:49..and that's all we've got so far.
22:52Sanjay, reveal the animal kingdom.
22:56Oh!
22:58Wow.
23:00We've got all those different animals that could definitely,
23:03feasibly cohabitate and live together in that specific environment.
23:07So, Maria, you're up first.
23:09Which of this veritable bounty of animals would you like to choose?
23:13Ah, the crab?
23:15By all means, a crab.
23:17Depending on who and where you are,
23:19a crab can look scary, delicious
23:21or like something you might like to have sex with,
23:23assuming you are a fellow crab.
23:26These... Oh, what have you got? OK.
23:29Sanjay's put a couple extra crabs on the board there,
23:31which means that is no longer a crab,
23:33but instead a consortium of crabs.
23:36Your word is consortium.
23:38Consortium. OK.
23:40C-O-N.
23:42Confident.
23:44Consortium.
23:46S-O-R-T.
23:49I-U-M.
23:51That is correct!
23:53One point to Maria.
23:55Martin, I now ask you to indulge in the earthly delight
23:58of selecting an animal.
24:00Certainly, Guy, my pleasure. I think I'll go the hyena.
24:03The hyena? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
24:07That's my impression of a hyena.
24:09But you wouldn't be laughing if you came across one of these guys
24:12in the wild, because if you run into one hyena...
24:15Well, there's probably a few more.
24:17Like that. So that's not a hyena anymore, in fact.
24:20When you have a group of them, it's called a cackle.
24:23Your word is cackle.
24:25Cackle. C-A-C-K-L-E.
24:27That is correct!
24:33Julia, which of our remaining animals would you like to choose?
24:37I love the rhino.
24:39Oh! You've selected the black rhinoceros.
24:42Yes. Native to southern Africa,
24:44these beautiful beasts are also known by rude body-shaming scientists
24:48as the hook-lipped rhinoceros.
24:50Oh, well, what do you know?
24:52Sanjay's only gone and put a bunch of them together again.
24:55And the collective noun of the rhinoceros is crash.
24:58So your word is crash.
25:00I made. C-R-A-S-H.
25:02That is correct!
25:08Now, Rhys, you haven't made it this far in the competition
25:11or in life by being a slouch.
25:13Please select one of these less popular animals
25:16to boost their self-esteem.
25:18I'll take the lizard guy.
25:20Ah, it may look like a lizard, but that is a salamander.
25:23And, you know, they say salamander fish,
25:25he'll eat for a day.
25:27Teach-a-mander fish, well, good...
25:30What have you got going on there, Sanjay?
25:32Poachers.
25:38Well, I'm sorry to say, Rhys,
25:40it looks like poachers have taken your salamander,
25:42presumably for its skin, which is famously permeable.
25:46Your word...
25:49..is permeable.
25:51P-E-R-M-E-A-B-L-E.
25:54That is correct!
25:57But do not clap too loudly,
25:59because that blood is on all of our hands.
26:02Let's all just do what we can to get on with the show.
26:04Maria, it's your turn again.
26:06There's only one animal left to pick,
26:08so choose wisely before they poach it.
26:10OK, I'm tired, but fine.
26:14I'll take the...
26:18I'll take the monkey.
26:20You've picked the baboon.
26:22Silly name, serious animal.
26:24There are six species of baboon,
26:26and the baboon has existed for at least two million years.
26:30So when you're talking trash about baboon,
26:32you're also talking trash about his...
26:34And what has got...
26:36Oh, no.
26:39Well, it looks like the poachers
26:41have taken the baboon to their hut,
26:44which, judging by the flag there,
26:46is in Botswana.
26:52And if I know anything about Botswana and geography,
26:55it looks like they're quite near the capital,
26:57which is the thriving metropolis of Gaborone.
27:03Your word is Gaborone.
27:06Do I get any hints?
27:08The word...
27:11..is Gaborone.
27:13OK.
27:15G-A-B-A-R-O-N-E.
27:20That is incorrect.
27:22Gaborone is spelled G-A-B-O-R-O-N-E.
27:27Wow. OK.
27:28Feels like we are losing control of the game a little bit here,
27:31but we're going to press on.
27:33And, Jason, you'll be pleased to hear,
27:35thanks to the Gaborone Game Reserve, introduced in 1988,
27:38there are still many animals available to see
27:40in any visible location near the city.
27:42Yeah, very nice.
27:43So which of these animals would you like?
27:45Look, I don't know, Guy,
27:47whether I'm looking at a toad or a frog.
27:49I'll say toad.
27:51By all means. I think that is a frog.
27:54And if it's a frog you're after, it's a frog you shall have.
27:57But before... Oh, no.
28:00Oh! OK.
28:02Whoops. Poachers didn't even get a moment to do their poaching
28:05because the president of Botswana,
28:08has arrived to congratulate them
28:10on all the fantastic poaching they've been doing.
28:13This will come as no surprise to those of us
28:15who follow Botswana's politics,
28:17as Mokwetse Masisi famously legalised the poaching of elephants
28:20in Botswana in 2019.
28:23Your word is Mokwetse Masisi.
28:29Mokwetse... Masisi.
28:31Masisi.
28:32M-O-G-W-E-T-S-I-M-A...
28:36M-A-S-S-I-S-I.
28:40That is incorrect.
28:42Mokwetse Masisi is spelled M-O-K-G-W-E-E-T-S-I-M-A-S-I-S-I.
28:49And I've got to ask,
28:50what do we all think about him legalising poaching, eh?
28:53Whoa, whoa, whoa!
28:55He also decriminalised homosexuality,
28:57so you just booed a progressive legend.
29:02Politics sure are complicated.
29:04Julia, getting pretty irritated up here.
29:07I just wanted to do a simple round,
29:09enjoying some of the more interesting collective nouns
29:12afforded to animals,
29:13and now we find ourselves in this mess.
29:16Will you please select one of the so far unselected animals?
29:20I'm worried about why there is a Bengalis tiger in Botswana.
29:25We don't need to get too particular...
29:30..about the geographical accuracy of what animals go where.
29:33Are you selecting the tiger?
29:34Yes, please.
29:35OK.
29:36Roar, as the tiger likes it.
29:38Sanjay...
29:39Oh, oh.
29:40..what is going on over there?
29:42All animals are extinct now.
29:45What? All animals?
29:47Yeah, there was a mass extinction event
29:49that's currently trending on TikTok.
29:51I can't believe you haven't seen it.
29:54Well, if all the animals are extinct,
29:56the only thing that's left
29:57is the vast expanse of the Kalahari Desert,
30:00a desert so big
30:01it accounts for 70% of Botswana.
30:03So, Julia, your word is Kalahari.
30:07OK.
30:08K-A-L-A-H-A-R-I.
30:12That is correct!
30:13CHEERING
30:15Well done. The point is...
30:16Sanjay, what are you...
30:18Sanjay, what are you doing?
30:20Oh, I have bad information.
30:22LAUGHTER
30:24All animals are still alive,
30:26so it shows you don't trust anything you see on social media.
30:31All right, Rhys, just pick an animal.
30:33Lion.
30:34OK, spell it.
30:36LAUGHTER
30:39L-I-O-N.
30:40That is correct. Thank you.
30:42CHEERING
30:44I'm confident that everyone here in the studio and at home
30:48would like to take a break
30:49to fact-check every component of our last round.
30:52So we're going to do just that.
30:53We'll be back soon with more Government Spelling Bees!
30:56CHEERING
30:58APPLAUSE
31:08CHEERING
31:11Welcome back to the Government Spelling Bee.
31:13The audience tonight have done a good job
31:15of laughing and clapping when we tell them to.
31:17Other than that, though,
31:18they haven't really drawn much attention to themselves.
31:21Well, that is all about to change.
31:24CHEERING
31:27It's Spell the Audience Name,
31:29a round popular with contestants, audiences and Guy Montgomery's alike.
31:33In this round, our comedians will look upon our mighty audience
31:37and each take a turn to select someone
31:39who Sanjay will usher onto the stage.
31:42Their solemn duty?
31:43To provide their first and last name.
31:46And the contestants' solemn duty?
31:48To correctly spell both.
31:50As Julia is having a hard time on the scoreboard,
31:53I think it's only fair that you get first turn
31:55and everyone to choose from.
31:57So, Sanjay, please start making your way.
31:59And Julia?
32:00Um...
32:01There's a lovely pair of glasses on a chap who's in a Ming Blue.
32:05Yes!
32:06All right.
32:07Come on down!
32:08CHEERING
32:13Great work, Sanjay.
32:14You guys look like you were getting along pretty well on the way down there.
32:17Nah, not really.
32:18No, really good.
32:19OK, thank you so much for joining us.
32:21Julia, the floor is yours.
32:23Oh, may I ask you your first name and your last name?
32:26Is that...? Yes?
32:27That's right.
32:28James Baldwin.
32:29Oh!
32:31Like the author.
32:33Wow.
32:34Why, he's white.
32:36You got your J, you got your A, you got your M,
32:39you got your E, you got your S...
32:41S?
32:43Playing with fire, but I'll allow it.
32:46You got your B, you got your A, you got your L,
32:48you got your W, you've got your Y, you've got your N.
32:51Oh!
32:53Oh!
32:54I don't know how to spell this man's name,
32:56but I'm damn near certain it's not like...
33:00Was that a correct spelling?
33:01I don't think so. Is it a Y? Did you say Y?
33:04Who knows what I said, honestly?
33:07A lot of it just comes and vomits out the front of my head,
33:11and I don't know what happens after that.
33:13A little less time choreographing...
33:16..and a little more time spelling
33:18what is probably the simplest name in the whole town.
33:21It could be a Y.
33:23Well, that is a little I, a little N, a little C, a little O,
33:26a little R, a little R, a little E, a little C, a little T.
33:30Incorrect.
33:32Ben, how do you spell your name?
33:35J-A-M-E-S-B-A-L-D-W-I-N.
33:39No way!
33:41Everybody give it up for James Baldwin!
33:47OK, Jason, you're tied for last place with Julia,
33:50so the next choice is yours.
33:52Which audience member would you like to spell?
33:55I'm looking at this magnificent Adonis in the front row here,
34:00with a very plush beard and spectacles.
34:04And what are you thinking?
34:07What an absolute stallion of a man is what I'm thinking.
34:11I really hope you choose this guy to spell.
34:15That's who I'm choosing.
34:17Come on up!
34:21Oh, yeah, not on that man, not on that man.
34:24How dare he walk across the mat that's on the centre of the floor?
34:28You guys look like you're getting along pretty well there,
34:30would you agree with that?
34:32Better than the other guy.
34:35Jason, the floor is yours.
34:37Could you tell me, good sir, what your name is?
34:40Frankie Gotaweski.
34:46What?!
34:48Can you say that again, please?
34:51Frankie Gotaweski.
34:53Can I ask what your accent is, by the way?
34:55American.
34:58LAUGHTER
35:02Mate, I've done Hercules and Xena.
35:04That's not an American accent.
35:06LAUGHTER
35:09All right.
35:13Frankie. Frankie.
35:15I don't think it's Frankie that you need to worry about.
35:18No, I know.
35:20I'm thinking F-R-A-N-K.
35:23But is it Y or I?
35:25Because I seems feminine to me.
35:27I'm going to go Frankie with a Y.
35:30What was the second part?
35:33Gotaweski.
35:35Gotaweski.
35:37G-A-R-T-O-W-E-S-K-I.
35:41No.
35:43LAUGHTER
35:46Brainy, can you tell us how you spell your name?
35:48F-R-A-N-K-I-E.
35:51G-O-T-O-T-W-E-S-K-I.
35:55Wow. You really got tripped up on the first bit.
35:58LAUGHTER
35:59I really did, didn't I?
36:01Everybody, please give it up for Frankie!
36:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:07Just goes to show not all white men have simple names.
36:10LAUGHTER
36:12Rhys, you're currently in second place with three points.
36:15Whose name would you like to spell?
36:17It's been a bit dirty. I'm going to go the lady in the back on the aisle.
36:20All right, everybody, please make a few more noise.
36:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:26That was like a nice walk. You guys getting along OK?
36:29That was a lovely time.
36:31Sanjay, your thoughts?
36:32It was interesting.
36:34LAUGHTER
36:35That's enough.
36:37Rhys, the floor is yours.
36:39What is your name, please?
36:41My name is Morgan Manson.
36:43Oh, I'm going to... I'll just play it straight down the bat.
36:48Is that a phrase? Almost.
36:50LAUGHTER
36:51I'll, um... I'll bomb it right down the middle.
36:54Getting colder.
36:56LAUGHTER
36:58M-O-R-G-A-N-M-A-N-S-O-N.
37:02That's correct.
37:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:10Really straightforward there from Rhys.
37:12Wham, bam, thank you, Morgan, we say. OK.
37:15LAUGHTER
37:17Maria, you're up last.
37:19You've still got quite a few people to choose from.
37:21A lot of people to choose from.
37:23We've seen a few different strategies play out.
37:25I've seen zero strategies play out.
37:27LAUGHTER
37:28Um, OK, I'll take, um,
37:30the person with the long hair and the polka dot dress, please.
37:34Yes, cos you look like a Kate.
37:36OK.
37:37LAUGHTER
37:38Please welcome, potentially, Kate.
37:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:42Woo-hoo!
37:43LAUGHTER
37:45You see that, Frankie?
37:47LAUGHTER
37:51How was the walk, guys?
37:52Yeah, she was professional.
37:54LAUGHTER
37:58OK, Maria?
37:59OK, this is very stressful.
38:01I actually once misspelled my own name
38:05and didn't get into Vietnam.
38:07LAUGHTER
38:08So I'm hoping you have an easier name than mine,
38:11which is famously easy.
38:13Um, hello, what's your name, please?
38:15Hi, my name is Phoebe Fordyce.
38:17Phoebe Fordyce.
38:19Can I get a country of origin?
38:21LAUGHTER
38:23New Zealand.
38:24New Zealand.
38:26OK, Phoebe.
38:27P-H-O-E-B-E
38:31and Fordyce is F-O-R-D-Y-C-E.
38:37Da!
38:39How do you spell your name, Phoebe?
38:41P-H-O-E-B-E-F-O-R-D-Y-C-E.
38:46Oh!
38:47A Y!
38:48Oh, my gosh!
38:49An I tripped me up again.
38:50That's how I misspelled my own name
38:51and didn't get into Vietnam.
38:53Maria Willems.
38:55Oh!
38:56Damn the I.
38:58Everybody, please give it up for Phoebe!
39:00I wish your name was picked.
39:02Well, only about 87 more audience members to get through.
39:06Um, we'll probably just spell their names during an ad break
39:09so it doesn't get too boring for you all at home.
39:11And we're going to do that now.
39:12We'll see you soon with more Spelling!
39:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:21Welcome back.
39:23A perfectly timed return to the studio
39:25for the high-voltage, high-stakes buzz round.
39:28The only way to conclude a Spelling Bee
39:30is packed with talent and tightly contested as this.
39:33Indeed, the only way to end any television show,
39:36in my opinion.
39:37Let's do it.
39:42Before we commence, let's take a look
39:45Before we commence, let's remind ourselves
39:47how the scores are looking.
39:49We have Jason and Julia on 2
39:51and Rhys and Maria are in front with 4 points apiece.
39:54So a close game.
39:56Everything's still to play for.
39:58And in this round, I will read from a list
40:00of carefully selected words
40:01and you'll all have the opportunity
40:03to buzz in and spell them.
40:04A correct answer is worth 1 point.
40:06An incorrect answer is worth minus 1 point.
40:09We will spell until we are told
40:12And at the conclusion of that,
40:13we will have a winner and a dunce.
40:15And Jason, because you're currently battling away
40:18in last equal, you can choose your buzz topic.
40:20Would you like
40:29Actually, I have studied a lot of ancient Egypt,
40:33so I'll go ancient Egypt, please.
40:35All right, ancient Egypt it is.
40:37Guy, that was a lie.
40:39Ancient Egypt it is.
40:40Guy, that was a lie, by the way.
40:42I haven't studied any ancient Egypt.
40:44So why did you pick it?
40:46Bit of fun.
40:49I like it.
40:50Well, everybody get ready.
40:52Your first word is pyramid.
40:55Go ahead, Rhys.
40:56P-Y-R-A-M-I-D
40:58Correct.
40:59Pyramid scheme.
41:01Go ahead, Julia.
41:02P-Y...
41:03I forgot all the things that you said.
41:06S-C-H-E-M-E
41:08Incorrect.
41:09Not right?
41:10You've buzzed in already.
41:11Your word is pharaoh.
41:12P-H-A-R-O-H
41:16That is incorrect.
41:18Cleopatra.
41:20Go ahead, Rhys.
41:21C-L-E-O-P-A-T-R-A
41:24Correct.
41:25Mummy.
41:26Go ahead, Julia.
41:27M-U-M-M-Y
41:28Correct.
41:29Yay!
41:31The mummy returns.
41:32Go ahead, Maria.
41:34T-H-E-M-U-M-M-Y
41:37R-E-T-R...
41:39You're not...
41:41R-E-T-U-R-N-S
41:44Correct.
41:45Brendan Fraser.
41:47Go ahead, Rhys.
41:48B-R-E-N-D-A-N space S-R-A-S-E-R
41:54Correct.
41:55The scorpion king.
41:57Go ahead, Rhys.
41:58T-H-E space S-C-O-R-P-I-O space K-I-N-G
42:03Incorrect.
42:04Hieroglyphics.
42:05What a dare brain, man.
42:07Go ahead, Julia.
42:09H-Y-R-O-H-I-R-O-G-L-I-P-H-I-C-E
42:17Incorrect.
42:19Camel.
42:20Go ahead, Rhys.
42:21C-A-M-E-L
42:23Jason.
42:24That's right.
42:27Tomb.
42:28Go ahead, Maria.
42:30T-H-O-M-B
42:34Incorrect.
42:35What's wrong with me?
42:36Tutankhamun.
42:38OK, what are you going to do now?
42:42T-U-T-A-N-C-A-M-I-N
42:47Now I know it.
42:48Look, I'm here to join.
42:50Grave robber.
42:51Go ahead, Rhys.
42:52G-R-A-V-E-R-O-B-B-E-R
42:55Correct.
42:56Sand.
42:57Go ahead, Jason.
42:58S-A-N-D
42:59Correct.
43:00Desert.
43:01Go ahead, Maria.
43:02D-E-S-1-S-E-R-T
43:07Correct.
43:08Oasis.
43:10Julia, you can spell Oasis.
43:12O-A-S-I-N
43:13That is correct.
43:17And after all of that jiggery-pokery,
43:19our winner tonight, for the second time,
43:21is Rhys Mathewson.
43:26Congratulations, Rhys.
43:28We'll see you again next week.
43:29Let him hear it.
43:34Keep that applause rolling for Mr Versatile himself,
43:37it's Sanjay Matale.
43:41And now, slow your applause to a gentle and condescending murmur
43:45as we chastise Julia for her performance,
43:49landing her in the dunce's hat and in the dunce's corner.
43:55Come on, Rhys.
44:03Well, that's it for tonight.
44:04Let's hear it for all our fantastic spellers,
44:06Maria Williams, Jason Hoyt, Julia Morrison, Rhys Mathewson,
44:09and tune in next week as Rhys takes on Paul Douglas,
44:13Keleani Nagaraja, and Jonah Pryor.
44:15But now, bud, I might as well be tie-dying all day
44:19because I'm feeling pretty trippy, man.
44:21See you next week.
44:22See you next week.
44:23See you next week.
44:24See you next week.
44:25See you next week.
44:26See you next week.
44:27See you next week.
44:28See you next week.
44:29See you next week.
44:30See you next week.
44:31See you next week.
44:32See you next week.
44:33See you next week.
44:34See you next week.
44:35See you next week.
44:36See you next week.
44:37See you next week.
44:38See you next week.
44:39See you next week.
44:40See you next week.
44:41See you next week.
44:42See you next week.
44:43See you next week.
44:44See you next week.
44:45See you next week.
44:46See you next week.
44:47See you next week.
44:48See you next week.
44:49See you next week.
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