00:00What are you doing?
00:05Checking out how slow my skin bounces back when I pull it.
00:10Compared to what?
00:11Compared to how fast it used to bounce back.
00:13Did you ever do it before?
00:14No.
00:15Well, how do you know how fast it bounced back before?
00:18You know what?
00:19You're right.
00:20I should keep a log or something.
00:21What does that mean to you?
00:22My birthday.
00:23What about it?
00:24What about it?
00:25I'm going to be 30 years old.
00:27I'm going to be 30 years old.
00:28That's like the girl-woman dividing line.
00:29Up until now, it's been, oh, yeah, Carrie, she's a pistol.
00:32Now it's going to be, oh, right, Mrs. Heffernan, she's a handsome woman.
00:37Who do you know who uses the term pistol?
00:41You know what I mean.
00:43Come on.
00:44Doug, did you already make plans for us to go out that night?
00:49Your birthday?
00:50What?
00:51I'm not going to make plans.
00:52Why do you ask?
00:55I just don't know how much I feel like celebrating.
00:57I mean, I'd almost rather, you know, just stay home, read a book, take a bath.
01:05Really?
01:06Am I being stupid?
01:07Just tell me I'm being stupid about this whole getting older business, and we will go out Friday night.
01:17Doug?
01:18Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course you are.
01:19I mean, this is crazy talk, you know?
01:2130 is nothing.
01:23Although it is halfway to 60.
01:24Oh, my God, it is.
01:26I know exactly how you feel.
01:27I mean, remember my 30th birthday?
01:29I was so depressed.
01:30All I wanted to do was stay home and be alone with my thoughts.
01:35Do you know when you go to that bar where you got drunk and you jumped against a Velcro wall?
01:40Outside was happy.
01:41Inside, sorrow.
01:45I think you should just stay home.
01:46You know, bathe, read, listen to a little of that Lilith Fair stuff.
01:52Thank you, honey.
01:53You're very sweet.
01:54So it's no problem canceling the plans you already made?
01:56No problem.
01:57I mean, the dinner reservation is there, easily cancelable.
02:01Same with the limo.
02:03Yeah, the couple, I'm sure they'll understand.
02:05Oh, you already did all that?
02:07That is so sweet.
02:09What restaurant?
02:12They're a very nice place.
02:14That new place I told you about?
02:16Marino's, right?
02:17Yeah.
02:20And who is the couple?
02:21Deacon and Kelly, right?
02:22Deacon and Kelly, yes.
02:23You're going to Deacon and Kelly it up?
02:26Do that all some other time.
02:27You know, when you don't have this 30th birthday cloud hanging over your head.
02:30Okay?
02:31Okay, I'll just stay home.
02:33Listen to some Jewel.
02:49You suck.
02:52Not me.
02:53You.
02:54I'm not the one who just screwed with my wife's feelings.
02:56Oh, I shouldn't have.
02:57It was that stupid ultimate fighting championship.
03:00It was a selfish thing to do.
03:02You are a selfish bastard.
03:04Not me.
03:05You.
03:06Will you stop that?
03:07Make me.
03:08Shut up.
03:09You shut up.
03:10You shut up.
03:11You shut up.
03:12You shut up.
03:13Patty.
03:14You are young and beautiful.
03:15And damn it, we're going out Friday night.
03:16We're going to do everything I said we're going to do.
03:18And you're going to have the best birthday of your life.
03:20And you have the springiest skin I've ever seen.
Comments