- 2 years ago
Lies & Alibis HD ( Comedy, Drama, Romance )
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Hey, let me explain.
00:00:03Hey man, I am so sorry, I...
00:00:06Now that's awful. Truly depressing data.
00:00:09I know this must look bad, but it's not what it looks like.
00:00:12You, stop talking now.
00:00:14Dorothy, you see the red Pontiac Fiero outside?
00:00:22He works for your husband.
00:00:24Oh, shit.
00:00:26But then I realized, imagine how much more impressive those numbers could be
00:00:29if people thought they could actually get away with it.
00:00:32Here, put these up.
00:00:34Two minutes, out the door. I'll take care of the photographer.
00:00:37You, ten minutes after that, half a mile down the road, there's an Exxon garage.
00:00:41Call a cab.
00:00:42Cynical?
00:00:43Well, I prefer entrepreneurial.
00:00:48My former partner, the great Jack McAdam,
00:00:51told me our job in life is not to judge the wants and desires of our fellow man,
00:00:55it's to profit from them.
00:00:58And while some might see this as an unraveling of our social fabric,
00:01:02I say, business is good.
00:01:08Ray, those files are ready.
00:01:10Great. Do me a favor, will you?
00:01:12Double check the receipts on the Fager account.
00:01:15I'm super sorry about the other night, Ray. I just lost her.
00:01:18Not good enough, Fager. That's the third time in the last three months.
00:01:21Ray, we need three dollars for Wendy's birthday party.
00:01:24It's a two-month severance. If you need any contacts, we'll hook you up.
00:01:27And we got some issues with the new DMV holographs.
00:01:29Do you want to sign off on the new souvenirs?
00:01:31Track me down this afternoon.
00:01:33Ray, I need approval on the Trodder account.
00:01:35I did it. It's on your desk.
00:01:36Is this OK?
00:01:37Good.
00:01:40Uh, new client?
00:01:42You're 11 o'clock.
00:01:44You said you wanted bigger brains around here.
00:01:48Thank you.
00:01:52Don't let the twins fool you.
00:01:54They look like a faction, but they're actually in a battle for tank dominance.
00:01:58They also like to breed under banana leaves.
00:02:02You can call me Lola.
00:02:03OK. I'd like to go by...
00:02:05Ray, Benjamin's root canal's going over.
00:02:07Also, Peter Miller's passport isn't scanning the way that we'd like it to.
00:02:11And I'll talk to you about it later.
00:02:14So, Lola, do you have any lunch plans?
00:02:18You, uh, worked under Randall Paul.
00:02:21Can I ask you where you left?
00:02:22I was one of 17 junior V.P.s in our division,
00:02:25specializing in interest derivatives, market risk exposure,
00:02:28plus a little P&L analysis on the side.
00:02:31Sounds...
00:02:32Almost as dull as it was.
00:02:34And just a point of clarification,
00:02:36I work with people and for people,
00:02:39never under them.
00:02:41And what would you say was your best quality?
00:02:44My patience.
00:02:46Great, great.
00:02:48So how close to the street are you?
00:02:50Your shoes.
00:02:52Very fashionable.
00:02:53About five, six years ago.
00:02:55You look like someone who would care.
00:02:57Do you want to talk about it?
00:02:59OK.
00:03:00I had banked some stock options from a blossoming Internet startup
00:03:04and decided to seek enlightenment in the Holy Land.
00:03:06I would have guessed Tibet.
00:03:09I'm old school.
00:03:11Can I ask you a question?
00:03:13Uh-huh.
00:03:14What exactly do you do?
00:03:16Well, this is a surprise.
00:03:18Hey, putty, good to see you.
00:03:20The fuck are you, man?
00:03:22Fucking good.
00:03:23Yeah? Get any work?
00:03:25I retired.
00:03:27Yeah, I banked some options from this blossoming Internet startup
00:03:31and decided to seek enlightenment in Tibet via the Middle East.
00:03:34The Holy Land, huh?
00:03:35No shit.
00:03:39Ray.
00:03:40I hear Jack's back on the radar.
00:03:43Well, uh, I wouldn't know about that.
00:03:45No?
00:03:46I hope you've been in touch with your old boss.
00:03:48Thoughts are like Batman and Robin.
00:03:52Without the capes.
00:03:54I heard he was seen at the airport.
00:03:56He's hiding in a bungalow up the coast.
00:03:58Yeah, I heard it was a villa in Sweden.
00:04:00I wouldn't put too much stock on idle gossip.
00:04:02Yeah, there's nothing idle about a $5 million contract on a guy's head.
00:04:06Excuse me, sir.
00:04:07We need to keep this lane clear.
00:04:10I was looking for some good guys.
00:04:12Ma'am?
00:04:14What the fuck are you looking at?
00:04:20That was interesting.
00:04:22And creepy.
00:04:24So what can you tell me about him?
00:04:26I just met him.
00:04:30Um, I'd say a high school graduate.
00:04:34Um, possibly a missionary or insurance salesman.
00:04:38Although with obvious connections to some sort of criminal enterprise.
00:04:41Okay. What else?
00:04:43So you know this or you've heard this?
00:04:45I know that Jack McCadden conned the Sultan of Qatar at a $15 million.
00:04:49Yeah, that's the legend.
00:04:51What about this Ray of yours?
00:04:53He was always just a front man.
00:04:55Word is, after the score, Jack disappeared with Ray's cut of the Sultan's cash.
00:04:59The Sultan?
00:05:01That's some real Indiana Jones shit, that is.
00:05:03Language, Bobo.
00:05:05Sorry.
00:05:06And would you say he's married or single?
00:05:08Divorced.
00:05:10If there were a woman in his life, she'd make him bathe a little more often.
00:05:13Excuse me.
00:05:15So does this Sultan still want Jack dead?
00:05:18What I hear, $5 million open contract on Jack McCadden's head.
00:05:22Five million's a lot of money.
00:05:24To clip a grifter, it certainly is.
00:05:26Okay, why is he not?
00:05:30No, no, no. I'll take it.
00:05:33No, no, no. I'll take it.
00:05:38So, when can you start?
00:05:40You ask me two questions and then offer me the job?
00:05:42Three. I have a sense about people.
00:05:44We have to leave.
00:05:49Now,
00:05:51seems like our new friend Ray knows a very valuable man.
00:05:55I don't know if Ray's still in touch.
00:05:57He's handsome.
00:05:59I think he's found religion.
00:06:01How good is it for a man to have faith that his actions do not prove it?
00:06:05Time men don't reform.
00:06:08They simply find better angles.
00:06:12Okay, what do we do?
00:06:14We're a risk management firm.
00:06:15Which means?
00:06:16We're in the business of saving marriages.
00:06:19How do you do that?
00:06:20We grease the wheel to make state-of-the-art infidelity possible.
00:06:24People who cheat get caught because, A, they want to,
00:06:27or, B, they're found someplace they said they weren't.
00:06:29Good morning, Jay-Z Incorporated.
00:06:31Mr. Williams is in a meeting right now. May I take your message?
00:06:34We create a false reality,
00:06:36making people appear to be where they're supposed to be.
00:06:38Mr. Norris, let me check.
00:06:42I'm sorry, your wife just got on a conference call.
00:06:45I'll try her when she gets off.
00:06:54Fifth Precinct.
00:06:56Sykes?
00:06:57He's running files for Central. Can I help you?
00:07:00I can try him on his walkie if it's an emergency.
00:07:03So you help men cheat on their wives?
00:07:06And wives cheat on their husbands.
00:07:08We're an equal-opportunity employer.
00:07:11You're a professional liar.
00:07:17Life's the great foundation of our society, Lolo.
00:07:20Great outfit, honey,
00:07:21can't take any flowers for no reason,
00:07:23and my personal favorite,
00:07:24don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys.
00:07:27That's just being polite.
00:07:29The fact is, your average relationship
00:07:31wouldn't last two minutes if people told the truth.
00:07:34We just help maintain the illusion.
00:07:36Mom's happy, Dad's happy,
00:07:38and the kids don't know how to pick sides at Christmas.
00:07:41So this is all for the children.
00:07:43Families don't break up because of infidelity.
00:07:46Thank you.
00:07:47They break up because someone gets caught.
00:07:49Let me guess,
00:07:50you're just a hard-working child of a broken home,
00:07:53trying to save others from the pain you went through.
00:07:57I just see people for the well-dressed,
00:07:59good-smelling animals they are.
00:08:01Mate, eat, sleep, and mate some more.
00:08:03Preferably with someone else.
00:08:05But you can't really believe that.
00:08:07Not everyone operates on a purely primal level.
00:08:09A man is as faithful as his opportunities.
00:08:11Take your old boss, for example.
00:08:13Perfect example.
00:08:14Yes, he cheated on his wife, they broke up,
00:08:16they got back together, they've never been happier.
00:08:18When was that, about a year ago?
00:08:20Yeah. How did you know that?
00:08:22He just bought his lunch.
00:08:23He's been a client since January.
00:08:28Are you ready?
00:08:30I'll let you know.
00:08:36You dare defy your emperor?
00:08:40Robert, lobby. Two minutes.
00:08:43And you might want to pop the jacket on.
00:08:49Morning.
00:08:58You ever consider a more traditional line of work?
00:09:01Insurance? Sales?
00:09:04Making money's easy.
00:09:06Keeping yourself interested is something else entirely.
00:09:09Okay, here's the situation.
00:09:11In a few seconds, an angry wife is going to come
00:09:13steaming through that door and raise Mary hell
00:09:15till she finds her cheating husband.
00:09:17Inside this is a cheap knock-off necklace.
00:09:20You can be anyone you want to be for the next five minutes.
00:09:23I need $2,000 a week, benefits, a month off.
00:09:26Plus all regular holidays.
00:09:28Uh, well, we tend to work holidays.
00:09:30But, uh, you've got great dental,
00:09:32and I can go as high as $1,500.
00:09:34What's going on, Ray?
00:09:35Hey, how you doing there?
00:09:37One second. Vision?
00:09:39Uh, that comes with a copay.
00:09:41Okay, the objective is to extricate him
00:09:44from this predicament with his balls still intact.
00:09:47Ray.
00:09:49Son of a bitch!
00:09:51Holy shit.
00:09:53How could you?
00:09:55I give you the best years of my life,
00:09:57and you go and throw it all away
00:09:59to have your sick sex with some whore!
00:10:02Oh!
00:10:04I don't know who you think you are, Mrs. Hatch,
00:10:06but no one speaks to me like that.
00:10:08I can't work like this, Mr. Hatch.
00:10:10We're Rogette's jewelers, not Bob's big house of diamonds.
00:10:15Diamonds?
00:10:18To my dearest,
00:10:20on this special day,
00:10:22much love.
00:10:26Why are you meeting here?
00:10:28Our office is in New York,
00:10:30so Mr. Hatch has been flying in members of the team
00:10:32to work on the design.
00:10:34Oh, Robert.
00:10:36Judith, you'll like it.
00:10:38Robert.
00:10:42I think this could be a good idea.
00:10:45I think this concludes our business, Mr. Hatch.
00:10:48Yeah, but, uh, so if I wanted to examine
00:10:51some other items from your catalog,
00:10:53how could we arrange that?
00:10:55Oh, well, I can have a catalog
00:10:57forwarded to your hotel room in Fiji.
00:11:01Hmm?
00:11:06You didn't tell her?
00:11:08Uh...
00:11:10Robert!
00:11:15Thank you.
00:11:19We're going to Rodeo Drive, Hannibal.
00:11:21Yes, Mrs. Hatch.
00:11:23Mr. Hatch needs some new swings.
00:11:25Uh, in future, please don't improvise travel arrangements.
00:11:28I was in the moment.
00:11:30I also need a cell phone.
00:11:32Right.
00:11:34And, uh, moment or not,
00:11:36you didn't have to make it a private island.
00:11:38We both know you had it coming.
00:11:40Company car?
00:11:42So I guess anyone can get away with anything these days.
00:11:45No, we don't alibi crimes,
00:11:47and I will not be an instrument of revenge.
00:11:49Beyond that...
00:11:51Beyond that?
00:11:53It's all smoke and mirrors.
00:11:55So how rich do people have to be to hire us?
00:11:58We give discounts to cops, plumbers, teachers.
00:12:01Nice to give something back to the chronically underpaid.
00:12:03If it makes you feel any better,
00:12:05sometimes our clients stray,
00:12:07but then they go back a little wiser for the experience.
00:12:10Anything else?
00:12:12Overtime? Dress code?
00:12:14Yes, for both. Do we have a deal?
00:12:17If I'm there more than a year, I want profit sharing.
00:12:20Okay. Uh, one condition.
00:12:22Don't slut the spouse.
00:12:25Don't micromanage.
00:12:31Profit sharing?
00:12:33Perhaps that was a bit much,
00:12:35but I was temporarily seduced by her lavish,
00:12:37penetrating, truly sublime
00:12:39attention to detail.
00:12:44You see, my current line of work is all about
00:12:46planning for every conceivable contingency,
00:12:49accounting for every detail,
00:12:51every nuance,
00:12:53and every possible mistake.
00:12:55I know exactly where he is.
00:12:57Why? Because I commit the one unpardonable sin,
00:13:00the one my old partner Jack would never abide.
00:13:03I am forced, on a daily basis,
00:13:06to rely on the intelligence of others.
00:13:09Ten days, Ray.
00:13:11Ten days I had to sleep with my wife.
00:13:13You got any idea how that is?
00:13:15Break the rules. These things happen.
00:13:17By the way, you'll be swapping the necklace you gave her
00:13:19with a real one in about two days. I've already billed your account.
00:13:21You realize I actually had to, uh...
00:13:24You know, you know, I should have, just thinking about it.
00:13:27Well, uh, you could always leave her of it.
00:13:29Hey, I'd leave. I'd leave in a heartbeat.
00:13:31But, uh, it's no secret the money's all from her family.
00:13:34I leave, I'm ruined. You know that.
00:13:36We all have our crosses to bear.
00:13:38Now for our lesson in remedial cheating.
00:13:40Matches. Uh, you know, it's a stupid habit.
00:13:43I just keep losing my lighters.
00:13:45Nothing from your liaisons goes in your pockets,
00:13:47on your breath, or on your skin.
00:13:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:54Robert, you've already met Lola?
00:13:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:58My, uh, son's getting married next month.
00:14:01Good girl, from a good family.
00:14:03But you know the hatch, man.
00:14:05You know, we always have a little something on the side.
00:14:08My grandfather, my father, me, and now my kid.
00:14:11Can you believe it? Amazing.
00:14:15So where's he not supposed to be going,
00:14:17and who's he not supposed to be going with?
00:14:21Ray, uh, I'd appreciate it if you handled this yourself.
00:14:26Um, Robert, apart from the odd emergency,
00:14:29I do very little fieldwork these days.
00:14:31You're my last personal client.
00:14:33Yeah, but I was your first personal client.
00:14:35I mean, think of it as a wedding present to my fucking kid, huh?
00:14:39One you get to bill me for.
00:14:41After that, Lola can take care of me.
00:14:44Okay?
00:14:47Okay.
00:14:49Don't let the hatch thing bother you.
00:14:51It's just that some clients prefer working with men.
00:14:54So that man was your first client?
00:14:56That man's libido paid for the rent for the first few months.
00:15:00What, a startup help from the infamous Jack McCadden?
00:15:03No.
00:15:05He sounds like quite the character.
00:15:07International man of intrigue, smart, handsome.
00:15:11How long did you two date?
00:15:13Okay, Jack is not a topic I care to discuss.
00:15:16Bad breakup?
00:15:18Drop it.
00:15:22Dropped?
00:15:24Dropped.
00:15:28Yeah, she wants a friar to marry us.
00:15:32Like a fucking friar.
00:15:35What am I, Robin Hood?
00:15:37Come on.
00:15:39Look, don't get me wrong. I love Sandy.
00:15:41I fucking worship her. It's just, you know, shit.
00:15:43Till death do us part.
00:15:45Men weren't wired to be monogamous. I'm sorry.
00:15:47Just, you know, you gotta spread the seed.
00:15:49Hey, baby!
00:15:52Uh, your father tells me you want to go away for the weekend.
00:15:56That's terrible, right? I'm a terrible person.
00:15:59I don't know you, Wendell.
00:16:01I guess you're right.
00:16:03All right, well, so this girl, she wants...
00:16:05Do I tell you her name, or...? No.
00:16:07All right, she wants to go to this bed-and-breakfast in Santa Barbara.
00:16:10Are a click and clack going, too?
00:16:12What?
00:16:14No, dude, just me and her.
00:16:17Okay, there's a broker's convention in San Francisco this weekend.
00:16:21I book a room in San Francisco under your name
00:16:24and reserve a flight and a rental card.
00:16:26Okay.
00:16:28Then I book a room in Santa Barbara under my name...
00:16:30Make a reservation for your honeymoon suite for this Friday.
00:16:33...and give you a credit card to use while you're up there.
00:16:36Friday, you go to Santa Barbara, and I go to San Francisco,
00:16:40where I check into your room and sign in at the convention.
00:16:44I have dinner, make phone calls.
00:16:47I have dinner, make phone calls.
00:16:49In short, you become me, and I become you.
00:16:53Temporarily.
00:16:55What if Sandy tries to call me?
00:16:58Well, we intercept all the calls,
00:17:00so if there's an emergency, I'll be contacted,
00:17:03and I'll contact you.
00:17:09Dude, do you have a card?
00:17:11I don't.
00:17:13Anything else?
00:17:15I'm good.
00:17:17Good?
00:17:21Wendell?
00:17:23In future, don't make me do this in front of your wife.
00:17:27It's kind of tacky,
00:17:29and it'll get you caught, guaranteed.
00:17:36It'd be easy for a man in my line of work
00:17:39to become cynical on the subject of relationships.
00:17:42So what's in San Francisco?
00:17:44It's business.
00:17:46What's her name?
00:17:48Lola.
00:17:49I prefer to keep my work life and my private life separate.
00:17:52It keeps things simple.
00:17:54Simple is boring.
00:17:55Boring is safe.
00:17:56And safe is for old people.
00:17:58This is fun. Wanna keep going?
00:18:00I've got a plane to catch.
00:18:05Have a good weekend.
00:18:07But you see, romance is my greatest ally.
00:18:11It makes people vulnerable, distracted,
00:18:14and utterly idiotic.
00:18:16You sure you didn't tell anyone?
00:18:18In short, the perfect clients.
00:18:20We've been over this a thousand times.
00:18:22What'd you tell your boyfriend?
00:18:24That I'm visiting my mom.
00:18:26Trust me, he's an idiot.
00:18:29So after the wedding,
00:18:31how long before we get together?
00:18:33I don't know. We might have to cool it a little bit.
00:18:36Oh, shit! Does your boyfriend drive a black SUV?
00:18:40No!
00:18:41Will you calm down?
00:18:49You ever get a blowjob at 100 miles an hour?
00:18:53We're only going 60.
00:18:56Then you better step on it.
00:18:59Wow!
00:19:12Hey!
00:19:13Hey!
00:19:14One second!
00:19:15You've got about ten seconds for a rip-off
00:19:17like it wasn't funky right here in the lobby.
00:19:19Bitches are juicy.
00:19:21Now, what can I do for you nice young people?
00:19:24We have a room booked under Elliot,
00:19:26Mr. and Mrs. Elliot.
00:19:35Hi, Wendell Hatch.
00:19:37Arrogant prick.
00:19:51Hi, Wendell Hatch.
00:19:53Good to meet you.
00:19:54Hi.
00:19:55Hi, Wendell.
00:19:56Hello.
00:20:10You son of a bitch!
00:20:12Well, it takes one to know him, Mr. Williams.
00:20:15Good to see you.
00:20:16And you.
00:20:17God, didn't we have a hell of a time in Bermuda or what?
00:20:19My liver's still not talking to me.
00:20:21They forget to print your name tag?
00:20:23That's what you get for pre-registering?
00:20:25Oh, yeah.
00:20:26Say, Michael,
00:20:27you ever talk to that tax shelter guy,
00:20:29what was his name, Jack something?
00:20:31I was hoping you could tell me.
00:20:32I've got so much loose chains tied up with that guy,
00:20:34now I can't get the bastard on the phone.
00:20:37Still, you know what Jack used to say,
00:20:38the only sure investment is a tombstone.
00:20:41I know what he means.
00:20:42Come on, I want you to meet somebody.
00:20:44Hey, Jimmy!
00:20:45Come on.
00:20:53Hello.
00:20:54Ray?
00:20:55Who's this?
00:20:56I think she's dead, Ray.
00:20:57She's not waking up.
00:20:58Well, don't.
00:20:59How the fuck?
00:21:00This is so fucked!
00:21:01Okay, well, I don't get a hold of your mom.
00:21:02She liked it rough, you know,
00:21:03and I just thought,
00:21:04I thought I'd give her a call,
00:21:05but she's not answering.
00:21:06I'm sorry.
00:21:07I'm sorry.
00:21:08I'm sorry.
00:21:09I'm sorry.
00:21:10I'm sorry.
00:21:11I'm sorry.
00:21:12I'm sorry.
00:21:13I'm sorry.
00:21:14I'm sorry.
00:21:15I'm sorry.
00:21:16I'm sorry.
00:21:17I'm sorry.
00:21:18I'm sorry.
00:21:19I'm sorry.
00:21:20I'm sorry.
00:21:21I'm sorry.
00:21:22I just- I thought,
00:21:23oh, fuck.
00:21:24She didn't say, gum, right?
00:21:25I was listening.
00:21:26She never said, gum.
00:21:27Okay, Wendell,
00:21:28Would you check her pulse?
00:21:29Oh, she's blue!
00:21:30That's not normal, right?
00:21:31Wendell, listen to me.
00:21:32Check her pulse,
00:21:33do you know how to do that?
00:21:34I gotta get out of here.
00:21:35I can't stay here.
00:21:36Wendell,
00:21:37you must not leave the room.
00:21:38Yeah?
00:21:39You need to call an ambulance.
00:21:40It was an accident.
00:21:41I can't go to jail.
00:21:42I'm not going to jail.
00:21:43Wendell.
00:21:44Fucking call an ambulance.
00:21:45This whole thing comes out,
00:21:46you understand me?
00:21:47You, your business,
00:21:48You're gonna be ruined.
00:21:49Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
00:21:50Bullshit!
00:21:51You work for me, goddammit!
00:21:52You have to do what I say, Ray!
00:21:53It doesn't work like that, Wendell.
00:21:54You gotta help me, please.
00:21:55Please don't make me bag, man.
00:21:56Please help me.
00:21:57Okay, I'll call you back in five minutes.
00:21:58Don't fucking move.
00:21:59Bobo.
00:22:00Bobo.
00:22:01Bobo.
00:22:02Bobo.
00:22:03Bobo.
00:22:04Bobo.
00:22:05Bobo.
00:22:06Bobo.
00:22:07Bobo.
00:22:08Bobo.
00:22:09Bobo.
00:22:10Bobo.
00:22:11Bobo.
00:22:12Bobo.
00:22:13Bobo.
00:22:14Bobo.
00:22:15Bobo.
00:22:16Bobo.
00:22:17Bobo.
00:22:18Bobo.
00:22:19Bobo.
00:22:20Bobo.
00:22:21Bobo.
00:22:22Bobo.
00:22:23Bobo.
00:22:24Bobo.
00:22:25Bobo.
00:22:26Bobo.
00:22:27Bobo.
00:22:28Bobo.
00:22:29Bobo.
00:22:30Bobo.
00:22:31Bobo.
00:22:32Bobo.
00:22:33Bobo.
00:22:34Bobo.
00:22:35Bobo.
00:22:36Bobo.
00:22:37Bobo.
00:22:38Bobo.
00:22:39Bobo.
00:22:40Bobo.
00:22:41Bobo.
00:22:42Bobo.
00:22:43Bobo.
00:22:44Bobo.
00:22:45Bobo.
00:22:46Bobo.
00:22:47Bobo.
00:22:48Bobo.
00:22:49Bobo.
00:22:50Bobo.
00:22:51Bobo.
00:22:52Bobo.
00:22:53Bobo.
00:22:54Bobo.
00:22:55Bobo.
00:22:56Bobo.
00:22:57Bobo.
00:22:58Bobo.
00:22:59Bobo.
00:23:00Bobo.
00:23:01Bobo.
00:23:02Bobo.
00:23:03Bobo.
00:23:04Bobo.
00:23:05Bobo.
00:23:06Bobo.
00:23:07Bobo.
00:23:08Bobo.
00:23:09Bobo.
00:23:10Bobo.
00:23:11Bobo.
00:23:12Bobo.
00:23:13Bobo.
00:23:14Bobo.
00:23:15Oh, no.
00:23:16It's her idea.
00:23:19I doubt that.
00:23:34So, no one saw you move the body.
00:23:36No.
00:23:39Brenda, Brenda, look at me.
00:23:41Did anyone else know you were taking her out tonight?
00:23:44No, I mean, the guys knew where I was going, but they didn't know who, so...
00:23:48Is anyone likely to come looking for her?
00:23:55She is a Mexican.
00:23:58No, she's a boyfriend who's Mexican.
00:24:00He's a Hispanic-American, but he would fucking kill both of us if he knew.
00:24:05The guy at the bed and breakfast saw me. I think he saw me.
00:24:08You know, this was all her idea, so I don't...
00:24:10Shut up, Wendell.
00:24:11Did you have any idea?
00:24:14You killed... I'm sorry, believe me.
00:24:17Fuck, you think I wanted this to happen?
00:24:21Look, the good thing is, it's your name on the hotel bill, right?
00:24:25Not mine, so technically, I wasn't even there.
00:24:32You're not gonna tell my dad, are you?
00:24:37Give me my credit card.
00:24:44Okay, get moving.
00:24:47And don't ever, ever let me see you again.
00:24:56Ow!
00:25:03Hello. Is this the number for reporting a lost credit card?
00:25:10Yeah.
00:25:11Ray Elliott.
00:25:14Okay.
00:25:33Hello?
00:25:36Min?
00:25:40Cam?
00:25:44Yes.
00:26:06I know what you're thinking, but a deal is a deal.
00:26:14Woo-hoo!
00:26:15Woo-hoo!
00:26:16Woo-hoo!
00:26:40Darling, you should really try and give me a little more notice.
00:26:47Come on in.
00:26:49Sorry to interrupt. Were you busy?
00:26:51Yes, Ray, I was having a glamour night.
00:26:56I'm going to, uh...
00:26:58I'm going to tell you something, and I don't want you to ask any questions.
00:27:02Ah, well, we all know how good I am at that.
00:27:06We slept together last night.
00:27:10Did I like it?
00:27:12I said no questions, remember?
00:27:16Did you like it?
00:27:17Lola.
00:27:20How do you know I wasn't with someone else last night?
00:27:24Oui.
00:27:25I thought the idea was to keep our private life and our work life separate.
00:27:33Okay.
00:27:36Go ahead.
00:27:38You invited me over yesterday morning.
00:27:41I showed up at 7.30 p.m. with a bottle of wine.
00:27:44What kind?
00:27:45Merlot.
00:27:46Okay.
00:27:47And you cooked me dinner.
00:27:48Wow.
00:27:49Oh, well, don't tell my mother this story.
00:27:50She'll know you're making it up.
00:27:52Ah, roast.
00:27:54Lasagna.
00:27:56I can make lasagna.
00:27:57Fine. Lasagna.
00:28:00I showed up at 7.30, we had dinner,
00:28:03and I didn't leave until 9 o'clock in the morning.
00:28:06Just one more question.
00:28:07What?
00:28:12Are you going to call me?
00:28:15No.
00:28:34So you're the only one that could put my kid and that fucking girl together at the bed and breakfast.
00:28:38Plus the innkeeper.
00:28:40But I don't see how Ennil's ever going to register on the cops' radar.
00:28:43Oh, well, that's a relief.
00:28:44So how much you want to make this go away?
00:28:47That's not what this is about.
00:28:49I'll give you 23 grand cash right now to keep my kid out of this.
00:28:53Hey, it's what I got, my emergency cash reserve.
00:28:56Robert, I don't want your money.
00:29:07Our actions have consequences.
00:29:10Yours, mine, everyone's.
00:29:15Wait a minute.
00:29:17If this is some kind of con, Ray, what?
00:29:20I pay up and this chick shows up with my 23 grand on some beach somewhere?
00:29:24No way. No fucking way.
00:29:26She's dead.
00:29:29Your son killed her.
00:29:31Deal with it.
00:29:33So that I don't have to.
00:29:37Okay, Ray.
00:29:39I'll see what I can do.
00:29:44Hey!
00:30:10This is Gail.
00:30:11Hey, it's Ray.
00:30:13What are you doing this weekend?
00:30:14Come on, man.
00:30:15You know the dead never sleep.
00:30:17So, uh, I hear my old friend might be in town.
00:30:20You heard anything?
00:30:21You mean Jack McCann?
00:30:22I've been meaning to call you.
00:30:24He just came in.
00:30:28And now, direct from an extended tour where he played for and with many
00:30:32the crowded heads of Arabia and their wives.
00:30:37Yeah?
00:30:39Cam, is this a joke?
00:30:41What?
00:30:43That's not Jack McCann.
00:30:45Are you sure?
00:30:46He's the same age.
00:30:48Same, uh, same build.
00:30:51Yeah, but here's the thing.
00:30:52Jack doesn't have a snake tattooed on his face.
00:30:58Or a steel bolt through his penis.
00:31:03I gotta go.
00:31:14Can I help you?
00:31:16Uh, yeah, Detective Bryce.
00:31:18Is he Mr. Elliot?
00:31:23I'm sorry.
00:31:24I've never seen her before.
00:31:25Right.
00:31:27And your credit card was stolen or lost just the day before it was used to
00:31:31check into the bed and breakfast.
00:31:33Neat how that worked out, isn't it?
00:31:36You're not LAPD, are you?
00:31:38No, I used to be.
00:31:39I'm in Santa Barbara now.
00:31:41It's where the Prices live with their occasionally wayward daughter.
00:31:47What exactly do you do here at Elliot Consulting, Mr. Elliot?
00:31:52Risk assessment and management.
00:31:55Hmm.
00:31:57And how does a former confidence man become an expert on that?
00:32:01The same way you get to Carnegie Hall, Detective.
00:32:04Practice, practice, practice.
00:32:06Where is Miss Price, Mr. Elliot?
00:32:08Where is Miss Price, Mr. Elliot?
00:32:10Or should I call you Mr. Avalon, Mr. Morgan, Mr. Wilde?
00:32:14Detective, I swear to God...
00:32:15What about your old boss, Jack McCadden?
00:32:17Would he know?
00:32:18You know, I heard this crazy story the other day about a really rich Arab
00:32:22wanting to see Jack McCadden dead.
00:32:26I haven't spoken to Jack in a couple of years.
00:32:29Now, when grifters and cons knock each other off, I really don't give a shit.
00:32:33But Miss Price's father's an assemblyman.
00:32:35He's pushing really hard for us to find his daughter.
00:32:38So this is how it works. He pushes me, I push you.
00:32:41We find her, then I get to go home to my husband,
00:32:43who's probably letting our daughter overdose on pizza every night I'm not in town.
00:32:47That sounds painfully domestic.
00:32:49Well, to me, it's a little piece of heaven.
00:32:51Now, you make me stick around in town,
00:32:54and I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure that I find something
00:32:57to make it worth my while.
00:32:59For my scrapbook.
00:33:02You know, you don't have to wave those things dry anymore.
00:33:06It's a new process. They've had it for a couple of years now.
00:33:20Download this for me, please.
00:33:22Here you are.
00:33:29What did the cop want?
00:33:31Oh, it's nothing.
00:33:33I'm going to need you to cover some of my accounts over the next few weeks.
00:33:36Not a problem.
00:33:38Good.
00:33:44Hey, Ray.
00:33:46Potty! How nice to see you.
00:33:49Got to go for a ride.
00:33:51Oh, you're holding me up for that B&B thing?
00:33:53It's not like you.
00:33:55I'm hurt you'd even think such a thing.
00:33:58I take it this is not optional?
00:34:00That's a real good way to put it.
00:34:07So who are you working for these days?
00:34:09Yeah, a guy used to run out of salt, eh?
00:34:12The Moorman?
00:34:13Yeah, you heard of him? Really nice guy.
00:34:15I know of at least six guys who'd argue that point,
00:34:18if they were still around.
00:34:20Well, we don't keep track, but me and Bobo get benefits.
00:34:23Dental, eye care.
00:34:25Nice uniforms.
00:34:26Nice uniforms.
00:34:34I remember you.
00:34:36Do you?
00:34:40I'm Adele.
00:34:42Pleased to meet you.
00:34:45And you are?
00:34:48Too old.
00:34:58Do you have a bathroom?
00:35:12It's a little crowded in here right now.
00:35:17No, I may be married to the old creep,
00:35:20but he doesn't own me.
00:35:22Well, that's good to know.
00:35:24So where are you from, young lady?
00:35:26Oh, South Dakota.
00:35:28Tiny little town.
00:35:33How are you enjoying life in the big city?
00:35:37Yeah, right.
00:35:39It's like being in prison.
00:35:41Nice pool.
00:35:44I do manage to find the odd distraction.
00:35:50Bridge?
00:35:54Come on.
00:35:56Let's do it right here.
00:36:07Are you insane?
00:36:09It wasn't my idea.
00:36:10Doesn't matter whose idea it was.
00:36:12He'll tear your head off if he catches you near one of his wives.
00:36:15You dragged me here, remember?
00:36:17So let's get this audience underway.
00:36:28I spend a fortune on landscaping.
00:36:33I think it's worth it.
00:36:36That's very beautiful.
00:36:38Thank you.
00:36:41Buddy tells me he's met one of my wives.
00:36:44How does that work, the two thing?
00:36:46Three.
00:36:47Three?
00:36:48Congratulations.
00:36:50Our doctrine says celestial marriage is the gate to exaltation.
00:36:56Sorry, do they work in shifts, or is it kind of a group thing?
00:37:04Things manage to work themselves out.
00:37:08But enough about me.
00:37:10Are you married?
00:37:12No.
00:37:13I guess I just haven't met the right women.
00:37:17Funny.
00:37:20I hear there's a price on the head of your old partner, Jack.
00:37:25I also hear that he may be in town.
00:37:29And you want me to tell you where he is?
00:37:32You know my chosen profession, right?
00:37:35Yes.
00:37:36People who've been hiring hitmen for thousands of years.
00:37:40Ever since some Neanderthal gave some other Neanderthal a half a mastodon
00:37:44to clock his brother with a rock.
00:37:47Neanderthal? I would have taken you for a creationist.
00:37:52More of a pragmatist, really.
00:37:55Which is where you come in.
00:37:57Do I?
00:37:59I think having a man of your skills covering my tracks
00:38:03would be extremely helpful.
00:38:05Well, I'm sorry, but I don't alibi crimes.
00:38:08You already alibied one.
00:38:10For the Hatch family, wasn't it?
00:38:13That was the first and last.
00:38:18I think not.
00:38:22I think from now on there will be many, many more.
00:38:26Unless becoming an accessory after the fact
00:38:29strikes you as a reasonable way to spend the next 10 or 15 years of your life.
00:38:36Good evening, Ray.
00:38:38We'll be in touch.
00:38:42The genius of Jack McCadden was that he was part magician,
00:38:45part artist, part ghost.
00:38:48Ray, Jack's back on the radar.
00:38:50You guys are like Batman and Robin.
00:38:52Although it was a privilege to work alongside him,
00:38:55I've gone to great pains to leave that life behind.
00:38:58Jack McCadden, would he know?
00:39:00I hear there's a price on the head of your old partner.
00:39:03But that's the problem with the past.
00:39:05Bad breakup?
00:39:07Drop it. It's never really dead until you are.
00:39:10Dropped?
00:39:12That's not a very comforting thought.
00:39:18Yeah?
00:39:19Dude, it's Cam.
00:39:21I think I found Jack.
00:39:23Cam, I can't really deal with this right now.
00:39:26Something came up.
00:39:27But if it's him, people are going to come looking for him.
00:39:30Hey, asshole.
00:39:33No, it's just there's something I've got to deal with.
00:39:36And I'll call you later.
00:39:38All right, okay.
00:39:40Bye.
00:39:43Wendell.
00:39:45Wendell's posse.
00:39:47You dick. I can't believe you told my dad.
00:39:49Someone had to straighten things out.
00:39:51I don't know who you think you are, but you don't threaten me
00:39:53and you don't threaten my father.
00:39:54You're a fucking employee.
00:39:56You understand me? You're a butler.
00:39:58You're a burger flipper.
00:40:04So let's step outside and get this party started.
00:40:08Uh, okay.
00:40:10Yeah.
00:40:11Uh, right.
00:40:12What is that? Is that some sort of kung fu?
00:40:15Taekwondo.
00:40:17Oh, Taekwondo.
00:40:22Um, why don't we do it here?
00:40:25I mean, I know it's a bit cramped, but, um,
00:40:27if you move those two chairs and I'll shift this table.
00:40:30Hey!
00:40:33Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
00:40:35Want some more of this, pal?
00:40:36No.
00:40:37Wendell, I hate to get all philosophical,
00:40:39but a life has been taken and someone needs to account for that.
00:40:42Hey, okay.
00:40:44You do the use, follow me.
00:40:45Please don't kill me.
00:40:47I'll pay you.
00:40:49Go, go, go!
00:40:51Come on!
00:40:53Kill her.
00:40:54I'll fucking kill you!
00:40:55Stupid asshole.
00:40:57I think you broke my fucking nose.
00:40:59Oh!
00:41:01Oh, come here.
00:41:02I'm sorry.
00:41:04It hurts.
00:41:05It's all right.
00:41:06Using your intellect is nice,
00:41:08but nothing beats the thrill of delivering a good old fight.
00:41:12Why'd you make him all this water?
00:41:14I don't know.
00:41:15I don't know.
00:41:16Go, go, go.
00:41:18Go, go, go.
00:41:20Go, go, go.
00:41:23Go, go, go.
00:41:35Wakey, wakey.
00:41:37Oh, well, look who's up.
00:41:39Look who's up.
00:41:41Think you're gonna sleep forever, princess?
00:41:43Uh, I think there's been a mistake.
00:41:45Oh, yeah.
00:41:46I hope so.
00:41:47My, uh, my house is that way.
00:41:50Ain't no car service, motherfucker.
00:41:52This is your worst nightmare.
00:41:53Yeah, well, my worst nightmare has rats in it.
00:41:55Oh, we're gonna get to that.
00:41:57I can guarantee that.
00:41:59I know you.
00:42:01Oh, yeah, you think so?
00:42:02You're Hatch's driver.
00:42:04That's right, asshole.
00:42:05And what?
00:42:06What is that supposed to mean?
00:42:08What, you think you're better than me?
00:42:09Is that how you're trying to put me down, man?
00:42:11Motherfucker, let me suggest something to you, all right?
00:42:13I suggest that you fucking get real smart real fast
00:42:16and tell me where the fuck she is.
00:42:17You better get smart, boy.
00:42:18You better get smart.
00:42:19I know you're annoyed, but, uh, who?
00:42:23Oh!
00:42:24Oh!
00:42:27Heather.
00:42:29Heather Price, motherfucker.
00:42:30Do you remember her now?
00:42:32Little beat cop, ass like butter, right?
00:42:34Mine like a fucking pervert.
00:42:37Took her to that hotel in Santa Barbara.
00:42:39Let me tell you something.
00:42:40She was my fucking girlfriend, man.
00:42:41Son of a bitch.
00:42:42It wasn't a hotel, man.
00:42:43It was a bear that grabbed my dog.
00:42:44You shut the fuck up.
00:42:45Drive.
00:42:46Keep the tension, man.
00:42:47I wasn't at that hotel.
00:42:48I reported my credit card stolen.
00:42:50Uh, I spent the weekend with friends.
00:42:52Check it out with any of them.
00:42:53You expecting somebody to believe that bullshit?
00:42:55Is that your best shot?
00:42:56It's the truth.
00:43:01Come on, give me something
00:43:02where I can engage my suspension of disbelief.
00:43:05Give me something, man.
00:43:06Something within the realm of plausibility, man.
00:43:11She wouldn't be cheating on me, man.
00:43:13No matter what she's done or why she's done it.
00:43:17I have a capacity to forgive.
00:43:21Unfortunately, tonight,
00:43:22that's not gonna bring salvation to your fucking ass.
00:43:30You want me to get extreme pain no makeover on your ass?
00:43:33Where is she?
00:43:34Say something!
00:43:37Hey, listen.
00:43:38If you're gonna beat information out of someone,
00:43:40you gotta be smart enough to let them answer.
00:43:42All right, right. Point taken.
00:43:43Point taken. Back off, man.
00:43:46Now, where is she?
00:43:48Go ahead.
00:43:49She's...
00:43:52She's dead.
00:43:55I didn't do it.
00:43:56She can't be, man.
00:43:57She can't be.
00:43:58I like you.
00:43:59And you can kill me,
00:44:00but it's not gonna change what went down.
00:44:01Do it, man!
00:44:02No! No, I didn't!
00:44:03Do you know who fucking did it?
00:44:04Wendell Hatch.
00:44:05He was having an affair with her.
00:44:07He came to me to help him set up an alibi.
00:44:09No way. It can't fucking be Wendell Hatch, man.
00:44:11Man, that's bullshit, man!
00:44:13Couldn't be that little anal wart.
00:44:16Hey, think about it, Hannibal.
00:44:17Were there times when she wanted to meet people
00:44:19who you'd never met?
00:44:20What?
00:44:21Right?
00:44:24Did she want to take a shower before she was with you?
00:44:26Show me that!
00:44:27Jewelry!
00:44:28Does she have any?
00:44:29New jewelry. A bracelet.
00:44:30A necklace.
00:44:34Talk to me.
00:44:38He's fucking right.
00:44:40I caught her.
00:44:41I caught her with some big-ass
00:44:43fucking zirconian diamond earrings.
00:44:45This shit is right, man.
00:44:47It happens more often than you think.
00:44:51Come on, fellas. I know where he lives, man.
00:44:53Come on. What won't you remember?
00:44:54What about that time when we went to Gino's party
00:44:56and I told you we'd seen this?
00:44:59Don't do it, Hannibal. There's a better way.
00:45:01Better than shooting his ass?
00:45:03Better than you going to prison
00:45:05for avenging a girl who was fucking around on you.
00:45:08Better than you throwing away what you've got going on
00:45:10for a third strike that will get you the needle.
00:45:12The needle, motherfucker?
00:45:13What do you know about me, man?
00:45:14You smart, huh?
00:45:16What do you know about me?
00:45:17You don't know me, man.
00:45:18Yeah, the ink says you've been inside.
00:45:21And I know you'd drive for Hatch
00:45:22to pay for your tuition fees.
00:45:25Promise he goes down?
00:45:26I can make it happen.
00:45:27You better make it happen,
00:45:28because if he walks,
00:45:29I'm going to finesse him my way.
00:45:31You following me?
00:45:32You've made yourself very clear.
00:45:35That's all I wanted to do, bro.
00:45:38I said he made himself very clear!
00:45:42Almost capped my first one in.
00:45:44Told you they were racks, motherfucker!
00:45:50Excuse me.
00:45:54Hello?
00:45:55Ray, my friend.
00:45:57Is this a bad time?
00:46:01It's a very bad time.
00:46:02Can you come by?
00:46:04I was hoping we could firm up some dates for our business.
00:46:08I can't tonight.
00:46:12I've got...
00:46:14I've got laundry.
00:46:15Tomorrow, then.
00:46:17Oh, and by the way,
00:46:19a gentleman contacted me
00:46:20regarding you this afternoon.
00:46:23What did he want?
00:46:24He wanted me to take you out.
00:46:26Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not your type.
00:46:29It wasn't some sodomite tea party, Ray.
00:46:36What did you say?
00:46:37I said it was out of the question.
00:46:39As we have unfinished business, you and I.
00:46:43What did he offer you?
00:46:45A man should always know his worth.
00:46:48Your asking price is $23,000.
00:46:53Tell Hutch you'll take it.
00:46:55Very impressive.
00:46:58But suicide is still a sin, Ray.
00:47:01Take the contract.
00:47:02At least I know he won't be hiring anyone else.
00:47:04You know, if I had Jack McGatton's whereabouts,
00:47:07you and I might never need to speak again.
00:47:10$5 million buys a lot of forgiveness.
00:47:14I'll see you tomorrow.
00:47:23Shit.
00:47:38Lucky for you, I didn't make any other plans tonight.
00:47:43What happened?
00:47:46Opera.
00:47:48What happened?
00:47:51I was carjacked.
00:47:56Doubtful?
00:47:59Care to try again?
00:48:02I don't know.
00:48:03Care to try again?
00:48:06It was Hutch's driver.
00:48:10Why would he come after you?
00:48:12It's better if you don't know.
00:48:16I think I can decide what I can't handle.
00:48:26Well?
00:48:30It was Hutch's son.
00:48:34He spent last weekend in Santa Barbara,
00:48:37where he killed his date.
00:48:40And I, we were on the job.
00:48:45I got that guy Putty to take care of it,
00:48:48and now the cops are all over me,
00:48:50and a very bad man has been hired to kill me.
00:48:55Are you sure this job is worth it?
00:48:57It's not normally this bad.
00:49:03You ever consider asking your old partner for help?
00:49:08It's not so easy.
00:49:11Why?
00:49:12Because you're Jack McAdam?
00:49:17Makes a certain amount of sense.
00:49:20What that guy Putty said,
00:49:22your trip to San Francisco,
00:49:24how much it must have cost to start up your company.
00:49:28Plus you calling Jack your boss
00:49:30when I really can't see you ever working for anyone.
00:49:34A woman can tell when a man's lying, Ray,
00:49:37if she's paying attention and if she really wants to know.
00:49:41And if I can figure it out,
00:49:43I might not be the only one.
00:49:46It's funny, um,
00:49:48you think I am Jack,
00:49:51the detective thinks I killed Jack,
00:49:53and the Mormon thinks I know where Jack is hiding out.
00:49:57So who's right?
00:50:00I know you won't believe me, Ray,
00:50:02but not everyone's working an angle.
00:50:07Well,
00:50:09that may be,
00:50:11but for five million dollars,
00:50:13somebody might take a chance.
00:50:18Then I suppose you have a choice to make.
00:50:22I suppose I do.
00:50:24I suppose I do.
00:50:38You look like a man with a problem.
00:50:42Several.
00:50:44Care to add to the burden?
00:50:47I need an alibi for Thursday night.
00:50:50Something extremely sturdy.
00:50:54Well, the only absolutely airtight alibi
00:50:59is death.
00:51:06What's happening Thursday night?
00:51:07I'm tired.
00:51:12Let me explain something.
00:51:13It, uh, helps if I know where you're going to be
00:51:16so I can pretend you're somewhere else.
00:51:20Ernie.
00:51:25Fine.
00:51:27I'll be at the Elroy Hotel.
00:51:30If that's all you get.
00:51:32And, uh,
00:51:34where would you like to pretend to be?
00:51:37Does it matter?
00:51:39It's your neck.
00:51:51Thank you, Adele.
00:51:54How about this?
00:51:55How about if I write you a check right now
00:51:58and we forget we ever met?
00:52:04You have five million in your checking account?
00:52:07Unless you're trying to tell me
00:52:09that Jack is already a non-issue.
00:52:12You wouldn't have me waste my time
00:52:14looking for a man who's already passed on
00:52:16to the greater Celestial Court.
00:52:20Greater Celestial Court.
00:52:23Would you?
00:52:27Anything else, Ray?
00:52:30Not right now.
00:52:46So, uh,
00:52:48is this a social call?
00:52:50Business, actually.
00:52:52I've heard you want my boss dead.
00:52:55Excuse me.
00:52:56Please, Mr. Hatch, I'm on a deadline.
00:52:59I kind of thought that you and Ray was doing...
00:53:01You thought wrong.
00:53:04Well, can I ask why?
00:53:06No.
00:53:09Now, your only problem is
00:53:13the man who you approached to get the job done
00:53:15is now working with Ray.
00:53:18You understand that there's a difference
00:53:20between wanting somebody dead
00:53:22and actually doing something about it.
00:53:25And here I thought that you were the proactive
00:53:28captain of industry type.
00:53:31My mistake.
00:53:33I won't waste your time.
00:53:36Okay. Okay.
00:53:39So let's say, uh, hypothetically,
00:53:42that I was remotely interested in this thing.
00:53:45Let's say, hypothetically, you show up here tomorrow
00:53:47with $100,000 cash.
00:53:51And?
00:53:53Should I bring something else?
00:53:58Your appetite.
00:54:05Come in.
00:54:06So it's not a problem?
00:54:09For you, sweetie, nothing's a problem.
00:54:12Good.
00:54:14How's things with you and Ted?
00:54:16Oh, I don't know.
00:54:17Maybe I should have tried harder.
00:54:19Well, uh, there's no rule that says
00:54:22you can't make up with your husband.
00:54:24If you, uh, if you still love him.
00:54:27Wow.
00:54:29Did Ray Elliot actually just use the L word without smirking?
00:54:33I'm just saying.
00:54:35Oh, my God. Ray's got a girlfriend.
00:54:39Oh, that's...
00:54:41To be honest with you, Dorothy,
00:54:43I'm not sure what I've got.
00:54:45Oh, sure you do.
00:54:52Ray.
00:54:53How's it going?
00:54:54Pretty much as I expected.
00:54:56Let's get rolling.
00:54:58All right, ladies, it's on.
00:55:02Yes, Mr. Sykes. That's right.
00:55:05Ray would consider it a personal favor.
00:55:08Oh, Wendell Hatch.
00:55:10Yeah?
00:55:11Detective Sykes, this is Detective Holbrook.
00:55:14We'd like you to come down to the station
00:55:16and answer a few questions.
00:55:18How well do you know Ray Elliot?
00:55:20He's involved in a missing person case we're working on.
00:55:23He is? What did he just say?
00:55:25A young lady named Heather Bryce.
00:55:27See, we believe Mr. Elliot took her to a bed and breakfast this weekend.
00:55:31Oh.
00:55:32She hasn't been heard from since.
00:55:34Mr. Elliot took her to a bed and breakfast?
00:55:37What do I always tell you about mumbling?
00:55:39No one can hear you.
00:55:41Seems like he's been spinning some tale
00:55:43to the Santa Barbara Police Department
00:55:45about how his credit cards were stolen,
00:55:47but we're pretty sure that he killed her.
00:55:51Thank you.
00:55:53Do you know anything about it?
00:55:55Why would you think that I would?
00:55:57One of the officers saw you talking to Mr. Elliot,
00:55:59and he said there was an altercation at the bar.
00:56:02Oh. I don't know him.
00:56:04But he works for my father, I think, sometimes.
00:56:08And I was in this bar, and he came in, and he was drunk.
00:56:11He was really, really drunk.
00:56:13Were there, uh, words exchanged?
00:56:16Words?
00:56:18Yeah, words.
00:56:20You know, those things you use to form sentences?
00:56:22Only this time in a hostile context.
00:56:24Yeah, there were words, but it just, you know, like...
00:56:28Hey, you jerk.
00:56:30You know, so it wasn't anything bad,
00:56:32but he did hit me out of nowhere.
00:56:34He just swung at me.
00:56:36And we didn't talk about a missing, uh, dead girl.
00:56:39If that's what your question was.
00:56:42Okay.
00:56:44Okay.
00:56:46Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Hatch.
00:56:49Um, I hope you find this guy,
00:56:51because that's terrible.
00:56:53Hey, you know what?
00:56:55We always get the bad guys, Mr. Hatch.
00:56:57As a matter of fact, the owner of the bed and breakfast
00:56:59is gonna come in and take a look at some pictures.
00:57:01Great.
00:57:02You ever been to this place?
00:57:04Shady Grove in Santa Barbara?
00:57:06No, I haven't been.
00:57:07Hey, hey, hey.
00:57:08It's just routine, Mr. Hatch.
00:57:10We want to mix in some photos with Mr. Elliott's.
00:57:12You know, give the guy some faces to choose from.
00:57:14I mean, don't you have to ask my permission before you do that?
00:57:17Well, you don't mind, do you?
00:57:18I mean, he's not gonna pick you out, so what's the harm?
00:57:21No, it's just, fuck.
00:57:23Oh, let me excuse this for a minute.
00:57:35El Royote.
00:57:37Sorry about that.
00:57:39So what were you saying?
00:57:41Oh, nothing, nothing.
00:57:42I just remembered I have a thing.
00:57:44Thanks for coming in, by the way.
00:57:45Sure.
00:57:54Something like that?
00:57:56I think you've earned yourself a store credit.
00:58:02Shady Grove?
00:58:03Matthew Klump, please.
00:58:05Speaking.
00:58:06Mr. Klump, congratulations.
00:58:08Today is your lucky day.
00:58:10You have just won a night of total luxury
00:58:12in beautiful Los Angeles.
00:58:14And all for being a loyal subscriber to B&B magazine.
00:58:17Yes, we'd remove all the outstanding items
00:58:19from your billboard,
00:58:20Yes, we'd remove all the outstanding items
00:58:22from your bill, plus give you a small credit.
00:58:24You got it.
00:58:25And those would be red roses?
00:58:27Yes, I'd like one dozen.
00:58:29Okay, no problem.
00:58:30Right, so deliver the envelope
00:58:32to the front desk of the El Roy Hotel?
00:58:34That's right.
00:58:37Adele, these flowers are a pale comparison to you.
00:58:42Love, Bob.
00:58:44Who's Bob?
00:58:46Bob's the guy who made the mistake
00:58:48of sending my wife flowers.
00:58:51Don't let her out of your sight.
00:59:12Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:59:13Where are you going?
00:59:14The dressing room.
00:59:16Unless you boys want me to strip right here.
00:59:28I was wondering when you were going to show up.
00:59:30Ray, I could just teach you how.
00:59:32Well, just hold that thought.
00:59:35I just got you a gift certificate.
00:59:40That was from you.
00:59:42Ray, you are going to spoil me.
00:59:45You know, I think I am.
00:59:48Now, can you be at the El Roy Hotel tomorrow at 6.15 p.m.?
00:59:54I got us a room.
00:59:56Oh, no.
00:59:58I'd have to miss choir practice.
01:00:02I could write you a note.
01:00:07Okay, maybe I'm no Casanova.
01:00:10And maybe I'm in way over my head.
01:00:12But this was always Jack's job.
01:00:14I was the pencil pusher, the statistical expert.
01:00:18Unfortunately, being able to tell you
01:00:20that seven in ten murders are crimes of passion
01:00:22or three in four hitmen are hired by one spouse to kill the other
01:00:26isn't terribly relevant information.
01:00:29Unless, of course, you're the one they are hired to kill.
01:00:33Jack was right.
01:00:35I should never have gone straight.
01:00:38I need a piece.
01:00:41A piece of what?
01:00:43You know, a gun.
01:00:46Oh, why do you say that, Snoop Dogg?
01:00:48Let me show you what we got.
01:00:52You ever get the feeling you're running out of leads?
01:00:54This is Walsh.
01:00:56I mean, I'm a happily married mother of two,
01:00:58and this guy's staring at my fucking left breast all the time.
01:01:00I think we might have something.
01:01:03This guy I've had watching, Hannibal,
01:01:05picked up something going down this afternoon at the Elroy Hotel.
01:01:07Yeah? How good is your guy?
01:01:09Good enough to supply a room number. It's worth a look, right?
01:01:11Great. Let's go.
01:01:23Ray.
01:01:24Yeah, your boy's here.
01:01:26Any sign of Wandel?
01:01:28Not yet.
01:01:30You sure this is gonna work out, huh?
01:01:32You and your low-rent circus.
01:01:34Look at that. What'd it get that clown from Central Casting?
01:01:38I'm off to church.
01:01:40Shit.
01:01:41Ma'am, ma'am, you wanna hang out a minute?
01:01:43Did you clear that with the boss?
01:01:45Well, I go every Thursday,
01:01:48but you can check it with the choir master if you want.
01:01:51You know, we got that thing.
01:01:54We got the thing we gotta do up.
01:01:56Don't be late.
01:01:59Don't be late.
01:02:14It's a new partner.
01:02:16It's the late, great Ray Elliott.
01:02:20And that's why, if we all stay cool, everything's gonna be just...
01:02:23Don't tell me to stay cool, huh, man? I am cool, right?
01:02:26Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:02:28A little piece of shit just arrived.
01:02:41Hey, calm down, man.
01:02:43Goddamn it, man, he's bailing. I told you he was gonna bail.
01:02:45Hey, tell me what's happening.
01:02:47He just left. Look, he did it your way, now I'm gonna try it my way.
01:02:49How about that?
01:02:51We have to stick to the plan, otherwise people are gonna get seriously hurt,
01:02:53and Wandel will walk.
01:02:55Just get him inside.
01:02:57Yeah, whatever.
01:03:01Hey, Holmes.
01:03:04Thanks.
01:03:11All right, he's inside.
01:03:13So, uh, I brought what you told me to bring.
01:03:17I like a man that knows how to take direction.
01:03:20Why don't we go up to your room and talk?
01:03:51Um...
01:03:54My grandfather is staying here.
01:03:57And, uh, what is your grandfather's name?
01:04:00Uh, Klump. Klump.
01:04:04Yes, sir, he just checked in.
01:04:09I'll just... Thank you.
01:04:13Sir...
01:04:16It's room 1015.
01:04:21Yeah?
01:04:23Mr. Klump, what are you doing here?
01:04:26I-I-I want a contest.
01:04:40Welcome to the Elroy Hotel. May I help you?
01:04:42Yes, you have an envelope for me.
01:04:44How do you do?
01:04:46Welcome to the Elroy Hotel. May I help you?
01:04:48Yes, you have an envelope for me.
01:04:50The name is McGillicuddy.
01:04:56Here you are.
01:05:01Mr. Klump...
01:05:03This is very important.
01:05:06Exactly what kind of contest did you win?
01:05:11A magazine kind.
01:05:17Drink?
01:05:19Is that all you're offering?
01:05:21Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:05:24Let's get the business out of the way first.
01:05:27You sure you still want to get rid of Ray?
01:05:29I am not a man prone to second thoughts.
01:05:32And you haven't found anyone else?
01:05:34No.
01:05:36Good.
01:05:38How do I know you're for real?
01:05:41You'll never know for sure.
01:05:46But I promise you won't be disappointed.
01:06:12Adele?
01:06:15You son of a bitch!
01:06:19Stay here and keep an eye out.
01:06:21Sir.
01:06:34Whoever you are, somebody really wants you dead.
01:06:39I don't know about you, Bobby, but I'm feeling pretty dirty.
01:06:42Did I watch you?
01:06:56Ray.
01:06:57Hey. I was worried about you. Where have you been?
01:07:00Just covering our accounts as instructed.
01:07:04So I think I have something to tell you.
01:07:06I'm actually a huge opera fan.
01:07:10That's what you needed to tell me?
01:07:12But I've always preferred Carmen to Salome, in a way.
01:07:17Because in Salome, the hero loses his head,
01:07:21and in Carmen, the evil temptress is made to pay with her life?
01:07:24Ah, no. Actually, it's the overture.
01:07:28Hey, Lola. Are you okay?
01:07:33Yeah. I'm ready.
01:07:40Excuse me, sir.
01:07:49Ice? With champagne?
01:07:51Oh, forget the ice. Why don't you get in the car with me?
01:07:54I know these things that we can do with the water jets.
01:07:57I'll tell you what...
01:07:59Shh. Trust me. When I'm done with you, you're gonna need ice.
01:08:02I'll tell you what.
01:08:04I'll tell you what.
01:08:06Shh. Trust me. When I'm done with you, you're gonna need ice.
01:08:11Can I help you?
01:08:13Yeah. I'm looking for Ray. I mean, Bob.
01:08:16He's a guest here.
01:08:18Are you Adele?
01:08:20Yes. Room 1215.
01:08:23Thank you.
01:08:37I've learned to not rely on a single person in this world.
01:08:41And I'm not.
01:08:43I'm relying on a dozen.
01:08:45Mostly cheats, killers, and cons.
01:08:50And I happen to trust these people.
01:08:53Or at least trust in their baser instincts.
01:08:56Let's hope they don't disappoint me.
01:09:00Nice shoes.
01:09:02Oh. Thank you.
01:09:07Oh, fuck.
01:09:11I got a paper cut.
01:09:13Oh, I'm sorry.
01:09:15I'm sorry.
01:09:17I'm sorry.
01:09:19I'm sorry.
01:09:21I'm sorry.
01:09:23I'm sorry.
01:09:25I'm sorry.
01:09:27I got a paper cut.
01:09:29Boss, you better sit down.
01:09:33But the most important thing I learned from Jack
01:09:36was that in the face of real danger,
01:09:38make certain that you are never, ever around.
01:09:43I don't like this.
01:09:45Mr. Klump, I think we need to get you out of here.
01:09:48The hell no!
01:09:50This is Detective Walsh. Officer needs assistance.
01:09:52We're at the Elroy Hotel. Room 1015.
01:09:54I swear, it was her.
01:09:56I'm gonna kill him.
01:09:59I'm gonna kill him.
01:10:01I'm gonna kill him.
01:10:03I'm gonna kill him.
01:10:05I'm gonna kill him.
01:10:07I'm gonna kill him.
01:10:09I'm gonna kill him.
01:10:12I'm gonna pray for God to resurrect him.
01:10:14I'm gonna kill him again.
01:10:18Ray?
01:10:20Where are you?
01:10:22Ray?
01:10:24Do you have a Robert in the hotel?
01:10:26I'm sorry?
01:10:28A Robert. A Bob.
01:10:30What is the last name, sir?
01:10:32I don't know. Just tell me if there are any Roberts
01:10:34or goddamn Bobs in the hotel, all right?
01:10:36Well, come down there and personally shove that phone.
01:10:39Do you have a first initial R?
01:10:41Yeah.
01:10:43R. Elliot. Room 1215.
01:10:48Sir?
01:10:50Hello?
01:10:52Hello?
01:10:54So...
01:10:56I never thought it would come down to this.
01:10:59You try to cover all the bases,
01:11:01do your homework,
01:11:03but at the end of the day,
01:11:05it's the people you trust.
01:11:09I'm not a huge proponent of that word.
01:11:11I prefer leverage to human nature any day.
01:11:18Sometimes you just have to roll the dice.
01:11:26Come on in. The water's fine.
01:11:31I ask you a question.
01:11:33Shoot.
01:11:35It's a bigger speech.
01:11:38You're almost done.
01:11:49Room service.
01:11:59It's open.
01:12:08Oh, my God.
01:12:10Is your friend a lowlife?
01:12:20Oh, shit.
01:12:23Get out of the car!
01:12:25Get out of the car!
01:12:41Listen, please, I swear to God,
01:12:43I've never seen this woman before in my life.
01:12:45My name is Robin Hatch.
01:12:47Bob Hatch?
01:12:49If you prefer.
01:12:51Shady flowers. Wife down there?
01:12:54What's up?
01:12:56What's going on here?
01:12:58To be honest with you, I'm not quite sure.
01:13:01Hey, that's him.
01:13:03That's the guy you're always asking about.
01:13:05I've never seen this old guy before in my life.
01:13:07He's lying.
01:13:09What are you doing in his room with a gun?
01:13:11Hey, boss.
01:13:13What?
01:13:15It's 6.13.
01:13:17God bless you.
01:13:19Give me the other ball.
01:13:24Don't kill him till I get back.
01:13:39I suppose we're out of...
01:13:53I suppose we're out of...
01:14:24What about the contest?
01:14:26Don't worry, it's gonna be just fine.
01:14:30Step back into your suite.
01:14:32Come on.
01:14:53I don't know you, but you don't look that stupid.
01:15:03I don't know you, but you don't look that stupid.
01:15:13Housekeeping.
01:15:16Hello?
01:15:33Roger that.
01:15:48Lola.
01:15:53Lola!
01:16:03Our deputy has been identified as...
01:16:05153 Domestic and International Warrants.
01:16:07We have a negative.
01:16:09We have no idea who got him.
01:16:11We have no idea who got him.
01:16:13We have no idea who got him.
01:16:15We have no idea who got him.
01:16:32We have no idea who got him.
01:16:34We have no idea who got him.
01:16:36We have no idea who got him.
01:16:38We have no idea who got him.
01:16:40We have no idea who got him.
01:16:42We have no idea who got him.
01:16:44We have no idea who got him.
01:16:46We have no idea who got him.
01:16:48We have no idea who got him.
01:16:50We have no idea who got him.
01:16:52We have no idea who got him.
01:16:54We have no idea who got him.
01:16:56We have no idea who got him.
01:16:58We have no idea who got him.
01:17:00We have no idea who got him.
01:17:02When marimba really started to play Dance with me, dance with me
01:17:27When marimba really started to play Dance with me, make me sway
01:17:35Like a lady ocean high to the shore Hold me close, sway me more
01:17:57What the hell was wrong with the other 15 bodies that I showed you?
01:18:02I just wanted to make sure it was a good match
01:18:06Bull, you just couldn't stand the idea of you not leaving a good-looking corpse
01:18:10Vanity's gonna be the death of you, Ray
01:18:14Let's hope
01:18:21That should cover the cops and any incidentals
01:18:24It ends soundly
01:18:30Hey, Cam, put him somewhere nice
01:18:36It's not every day you get to bury yourself
01:18:44What are you gonna do with the money?
01:18:46Assuming the Sultan actually pays what he says
01:18:49I don't know. Five million's a lot of cash
01:18:52But I'm a river to my people
01:18:55The less of the warmed-over Lawrence of Arabia, Sadir
01:18:58You're from Boston
01:19:00Well, I have people
01:19:02Goodbye, Jacob McCann
01:19:05May I rest in peace?
01:19:09Here's a new spin
01:19:11If one in four men cheat on their wives
01:19:13Then three in four are faithful
01:19:16And an even more admirable nine in ten women
01:19:19Not bad odds to play
01:19:22So, no more Jack, no more alibis, no more worries
01:19:26Just the thought of waking up every morning and hearing...
01:19:29You are such an asshole
01:19:32Well, you know, sometimes it helps if you don't know the whole story
01:19:37In business, not in relationships
01:19:41I want you to be part of my new life, not my old one
01:19:48So where should we go?
01:19:51It's up to you
01:19:54But you said you'd already visited the Holy Land, so...
01:19:57I also mentioned that I'd show you not everyone is working in England
01:20:01Noted
01:20:03I think we should try this full disclosure thing and see how it goes
01:20:07Yeah, you know, I'm not so sure about Asia
01:20:09How's London?
01:20:10Not a good idea, I don't know
01:20:12The Caribbean?
01:20:13Some minor unfinished litigation
01:20:15Paris?
01:20:16Yes, actually
01:20:19Amsterdam?
01:20:21We'd go there
01:20:35I just realised you're quite a bit taller than me, aren't you?
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