00:00Bravery is not just about having the tenacity to bounce back from adversities.
00:05After I lost my footing in life and help came along, I learned a new meaning to bravery.
00:10To have the courage to admit when you need support.
00:14Growing up, I've always wished that I was my older brother.
00:18He was the favourite in the family. All eyes and ears would be on my brother.
00:23I felt like I didn't have a voice. I felt invisible.
00:27The only way I would be heard by my parents was when I got good grades.
00:31The only time where they showed concern for me was when they asked about my grades.
00:37My brother had all the attention. It was like I did not exist.
00:41He excelled in math and science, but I wasn't good at those subjects.
00:46I was deemed useless.
00:48One time, I was the top scholar in my level for Chinese,
00:51and the only thing my parents said was,
00:54I felt like nothing I did was good enough for them.
00:57It chipped away at me day by day, and I saw myself as a failure.
01:02I lost confidence and was bullied in school since I looked like an easy target.
01:07I hid my feelings and learned to put up a facade as though I was invincible.
01:12I might look unfazed on the outside, but the truth was, it was eating me up on the inside.
01:18But the truth was, it was eating me up on the inside.
01:23I was hanging by a thread, and I had no support.
01:27Friends were few and far between.
01:31All I had was myself.
01:33I had to become my own support system and safety net.
01:37No one knew my true emotions.
01:41I did not want to be seen as weak or meek, so I dealt with difficulties on my own.
01:46But this safety net broke when I started working.
01:50My boss was a nightmare.
01:52She would always talk down to me, and I could not anticipate when she would blow up.
01:58I would go to work feeling the fear of entering my boss's office.
02:01My heart rate would noticeably increase, and I would stutter whenever I had to talk to her.
02:08I lost whatever little confidence I had.
02:11I was constantly walking around on eggshells.
02:14I thought I could handle every trouble thrown at me, but I broke down.
02:20I knew that I had enough.
02:22I plucked up the courage and left that toxic workplace.
02:27I thought that I could start afresh, but I was wrong.
02:32My partner and my new colleagues noticed that something was wrong with me.
02:36My inner demons were taking over me.
02:39But I believed that I could only rely on myself.
02:43Hence, I could never allow myself to be defeated.
02:47The saving grace happened when my supervisor sat me down and spoke to me about seeking help.
02:53They were there to listen, and perhaps for the first time in my life, I felt heard.
03:01They fixed me up with a therapist.
03:03Funny enough, my old job destroyed me, but my new job was what helped me overcome my difficulties.
03:11Without their intervention, I would have reverted to my old ways of trying to overcome my demons myself.
03:17They sent me encouraging messages that I would save and re-read whenever I felt down,
03:22as a way of reminding myself that I am not alone now.
03:26Looking back, the biggest challenge I faced was asking for and accepting help.
03:32Of course, I am still a work in progress.
03:34I am still healing.
03:35I am now a committee member at Circles of Resilience, and that has been part of my healing journey as well.
03:41As a kid who didn't feel loved, an adult who walked alone,
03:45I always thought being resilient was to handle everything by myself.
03:50But I have learned that the bravest thing anyone can ever do is to ask for help when they need it.
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