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00:43I'm Shannon and I am ten months postpartum of having my daughter Orla.
00:49When I was six months pregnant something happened to me
00:52that many other women go through and I didn't,
00:58I didn't think it was going to happen to me.
01:00During this time my mental health started to decline
01:04to the point of no return.
01:08And unfortunately in the last three months of my pregnancy
01:11I planned ways to end my life.
01:15What I saw one morning completely changed everything for me
01:20and left me with postnatal psychosis.
01:26If you don't know what postnatal psychosis is,
01:28one in ten suffer it and I was that one in ten.
01:32I imagined things, I thought I saw things to the point where
01:38I acted on a lot of things that I usually wouldn't.
01:41Before I had Orla and after.
01:44When she was born I didn't love her.
01:50That's just so horrible to say.
01:53I knew I wanted to love her but I couldn't
01:57because everything was just so cloudy.
02:03In July of 2023 I was admitted to a mother and baby unit
02:07where I was given the treatment I needed
02:12to be able to form a bond with Orla.
02:15Every day is a battle but it's a battle worth fighting.
02:18It's actually a happy ending because I'm with my baby now
02:23but also her mummy gets to be with her
02:26because she didn't take her own life.
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