Emotional tribute to 16-year-old Fred Shand, one year on from the murder which shocked Northampton

Watch Emotional tribute to 16-year-old Fred Shand, one year on from the murder which shocked Northampton - National World on Dailymotion

Transcript

00:00 [Music]

00:16 How does your heart go from beating twice as fast to feeling like it's been left behind in the past?

00:21 I'm finding this hard. I can't go to see my boy or even write him a card. I won't see him get married.

00:27 I can't buy him a car. Fred, are you flying with stars? Are you in a parallel world? Are you higher than Mars?

00:33 When will I get a chance to see you again? Do I write in advance? There are so many questions I've been trying to ask.

00:41 Does this moment in time signal the end of another? When your mum passed away we would fend for each other.

00:47 You're a friend and a brother. There are thoughts in my mind going ten to a dozen. You were sent from above, son.

00:54 I had to call back home and scream they've taken a loved one. I knew there and then all the damage it would do.

01:00 The shock waves crossed the ocean and tore a family in two. If I told my antagonist to stand in my shoes,

01:06 they'd curl up at the bottom of the landing confused. It's like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders

01:12 with bloodshot eyes and blisters on my feet. Through the pebbles, the stones, the rocks and the boulders.

01:18 If I cry in silence, will they listen when I speak? But I can't find my voice when I'm semi-conscious.

01:25 Where it's hard to wake up, but it's difficult to sleep. I think the family look to me as the strongest.

01:31 But deep down inside I'm falling to pieces. Our family tree has stood the test of time.

01:37 Through the wind and the rain and we still added branches. But when you lose your boy like I lost mine,

01:43 that's when you know what an avalanche is. Have you ever been suspended in disbelief?

01:48 Where it feels like you're living on borrowed time. My tears tell a story, a dad flooded by grief.

01:54 Overflowing with love but feeling hollow inside. I hope God is your guide and you're painting the horizon.

02:01 I just know he gave you wings and you're an angel beside us. We're all made up of stardust.

02:06 But you're a ray of light and you amazed me as a father. So I don't know if I'll come back to my senses.

02:13 The pain of losing you is practically endless. Now I'm feeling fragmented.

02:17 Because you changed my life and I changed my life for you. And in the book of my life you were a highlight for true.

02:23 Well you fly like balloons. And when the skyline is blue I know it's you looking down like the twilight of the moon.

02:30 We used to play football and we used to make food. You used to say good evening. I taught you not to be rude.

02:36 You used to fix my phone and go shop for me too. We used to watch films at view but there's a lot we didn't do.

02:43 Somebody locked me in a room. Now I'm incarcerated with no parole and no release date.

02:48 Just me, myself and my mind state. I'm not coping much these days.

02:52 Because what happened to us is inconsistent with nature. No parent should have to bury their child's future.

02:59 Your clothes are still in the wardrobe. Your Xbox in your gaming chair.

03:04 Your room's exactly how you left it. I made sure when I prayed in there.

03:08 And I was on my knees near your Bible on the side. Reading your friends names on the football top they signed.

03:14 And then I closed my eyes. Reached for your hand. And joined you in my dreams. Me and my boy Fred Chand.

03:23 In the name of your son Jesus Christ we humbly come to you this day.

03:31 As we remember the life of your servant Fred who was tragically taken away from his father, family and friends.

03:41 But you have seen it fit into promoting the glory.

03:45 We celebrate today the life of this handsome, talented and dedicated young man.

03:52 Oh God and Father.

03:54 [Silence]