00:00 Forever is like a beautiful thing because it means to have forever to spend together.
00:03 All this time used to represent a terrible thing in my life.
00:05 Time was like my enemy and now it's just like gift because it allows me to look at you more.
00:09 This song is hugely inspired by Bon Iver.
00:18 I really wanted to emulate kind of some of the emotion in that falsetto
00:21 and some of those tense moments on the pedal steel in the beginning of the song.
00:24 White Ferrari by Frank Ocean.
00:26 You know that whole first part of the song is totally different.
00:28 The last minute and a half is this beautiful, sparse moment where you can really feel this
00:31 person's emotions coming through, not just in the lyrics that are beautiful,
00:34 but in these weird little moments of tension.
00:36 And that was a real inspiration, trying to tell a story in that tension and letting the
00:41 music almost relax the storyteller and also the listener.
00:44 And this song, the storm is not a negative thing.
01:02 It's like something coming that's going to change the scene drastically, but it's something.
01:07 Nothing's happening in my life.
01:08 I'm moving forward aimlessly and suddenly there's a change and the clouds are changing
01:11 and something's about to happen and even if it might be something bad, it's something different.
01:14 And sometimes that can be a positive thing.
01:15 The line, "I used to wish I meant anything to anywhere to anyone," is a reflection on
01:36 how a place can change with your experience, even if it's remained exactly the same.
01:39 It's like a place is always a place, but it used to be a place where you kind of were
01:43 drinking and depressed and doing nothing and moving nowhere.
01:46 And now it's a place that reminds you of meeting someone you love.
01:48 And it's crazy how quickly things can change with experience.
01:51 That's what's beautiful about consistency and things that stay the same because they're
01:56 there for you.
01:56 That's why I love my home.
01:58 It's always going to be there for me in whatever shape or form I see it in at that time.
02:01 When forever was a sentence, sentence to death.
02:09 Oh when you were a running tear, I was a drop of sweat.
02:16 And the edges of your soul I haven't seen yet.
02:23 Now I'm glad I get forever to see where you end.
02:30 "The edges of your soul" line is really just a line about that intimacy of knowing
02:34 somebody that isn't quite there yet.
02:35 You start to get to know them and you're like, "Oh my gosh, there's so much under
02:38 the surface and there's so much that I still have to explore."
02:41 And I think that is the coolest part of a relationship is finding out those intricacies
02:45 and the weirdness in somebody.
02:47 That is truly who they are.
02:48 I think that's so beautiful.
02:49 When people let you in.
02:50 And I wanted this to kind of reflect a part of the song that starts to become positive.
02:54 It's like, "This is so cool.
02:55 I have all this time to find out who you are."
02:58 I won't be alone for the rest of my life.
03:03 I'll build a boat for when the river gets high.
03:07 And I'll meet a girl in the heat of July.
03:11 And I'll tell her so she knows.
03:15 To me, building a boat serves as a metaphor for having a plan for your life, having a
03:20 future, having a project, having something that wakes you up in the morning.
03:23 Something that you can use to protect yourself from the world and something you can bring
03:26 somebody else in.
03:27 Something you can use to relax in.
03:29 Something you can use to get away.
03:30 But this feeling of having a salvation.
03:32 Knowing that no matter what happens, I have this person with me.
03:35 I'm building this boat.
03:36 I'm building this future.
03:37 And no matter how stormy it gets, how high the river gets, I will have a way out of it
03:40 now that I have this person and this positive in my life.
03:43 And I'm broke but I'm real rich in my head.
03:47 That I broke a bone.
03:49 Had never healed my hands.
03:52 When I hold her close, I might loosen my grip.
03:56 But I won't ever let her go.
04:00 I won't ever let her go.
04:03 I did break my left pinky.
04:05 I broke it on New Year's Eve in 2017.
04:09 And then I thought it was sore.
04:10 I told myself that for four years.
04:11 And then went to a doctor who was like, "Hey, your finger's horrifically broken."
04:15 And they were like, "Basically, unless you want us to re-break it and grind it down,
04:19 you're just going to have to deal with that."
04:20 So this is kind of where I'm at.
04:21 Beyond actually having a broken bone in my hand, that line represents a flaw or a peculiarity
04:26 about somebody.
04:27 I'm trying to hold onto you so if I can't sometimes, just know that it's not my fault.
04:31 It's whoever broke my hand's fault.
04:33 Remember when we called the cops?
04:37 'Cause we got too high.
04:40 And you got scared.
04:44 And the cops just left.
04:46 In high school, I ate this weed sandwich, actually.
04:49 It was a bunch of peanut butter that had whatever, oil.
04:52 And I was watching Avatar.
04:54 And it was just freaking me out.
04:56 I was so high, literally losing my mind.
04:58 I had called my mom.
04:59 And I was like, "My."
04:59 I was just so freaked out.
05:00 I was a grown man, calling my mom.
05:02 She was just like, "What are you doing?"
05:04 Did not take it as seriously as I would have liked.
05:05 So that's kind of where that line came from.
05:07 But I wanted to make that line kind of play into the story of a whimsical, beautiful moment
05:10 between two people.
05:11 Like something funny that happened that they can look back on.
05:13 The line about window shopping, I did do.
05:29 I lived in New York for two years.
05:30 And my sister lived in the Upper West Side.
05:31 So I'd be walking around.
05:33 And what always blows my mind about New York is that people just leave their curtains open.
05:36 Like you can just look into their lives.
05:38 And I'm like creeping around.
05:39 It's not my fault.
05:39 They're like right next to the street.
05:40 I'm walking my dog.
05:41 I'm like, "Oh, that person has a sweet stove.
05:43 I want that."
05:45 And I'm like, "I'm seeing all these."
05:46 And they're like just in there walking around, living their lives.
05:48 It's like Sims in there.
05:49 You can see everything that's going on.
05:50 I wrote that line about that feeling of like, "Can you imagine living this life in this
05:53 beautiful apartment in New York and willing to just let people stare into your apartment?"
05:57 Like what a crazy life that would be.
05:58 [MUSIC]
06:00 I struggle with depression my whole life.
06:01 And people think like, "Oh my God, depression.
06:03 That's so sad."
06:04 And it's like sometimes it's not sad.
06:05 Sometimes it's funny.
06:06 Sometimes there's humor in it.
06:07 Like a cynical humor that is beautiful.
Comments