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  • 2 years ago
Loudermilk centers on Sam Loudermilk, a recovering alcoholic and substance abuse counselor with an extremely bad attitude about, well, everything. He is unapologetically uncensored, and manages to piss off everyone in his life. Although he has his drinking under control, Loudermilk discovers that when your life is a complete mess, getting clean is the easy part.

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TV
Transcript
00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02 Asshole?
00:04 Coffee for asshole?
00:06 Yeah, that's me.
00:07 Louder milk.
00:08 Louder milk.
00:08 Louder milk.
00:09 Louder milk.
00:09 Louder milk.
00:10 Louder, uh--
00:12 Milk.
00:12 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:15 This is kind of embarrassing, but I
00:17 think you have a chair stuck to your back.
00:19 Ralph, not again.
00:20 [LAUGHS]
00:23 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:24 As your only friend, you really make
00:26 it hard for people to like you.
00:28 There's no reason to have beards like that in this day and age.
00:33 Sam Loudermilk, four years off the sauce.
00:36 New guy, why don't you introduce yourself?
00:38 You don't have to stand up.
00:40 I mean, you can, but nobody does.
00:43 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:47 Mr. Loudermilk, you're hard and angular and uncomfortable.
00:51 You're like an Ikea chair who leads sobriety meetings.
00:54 Be that as it may, you have a real knack with people
00:57 who've lost their way.
00:58 My daughter, Claire, she's gotten out of control.
01:00 Your brand of help is exactly what she needs.
01:03 Please, talk to her.
01:04 Women are not exactly my area of expertise.
01:08 Hey, Claire.
01:10 Who are you?
01:11 Your mother asked me to talk to you.
01:14 Oh.
01:14 Hey, no touching.
01:16 Dude, get away from my girlfriend.
01:17 All right.
01:20 What the hell were you doing in a bar?
01:22 OK, you're a drunk.
01:23 I'm a drunk.
01:24 Guys like us can't do that.
01:26 This will help with the swelling.
01:28 Thank you.
01:29 I get it.
01:30 You staged the beat down so you can garner the sympathy
01:32 of our hot neighbor.
01:33 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:38 So what's the big problem that nobody can help you with?
01:41 My dad is not here.
01:43 I am.
01:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:49 I just think your relationship would be good for you right now.
01:52 With someone besides me, that is.
01:54 Sure that you're a thoughtful, sensitive guy.
01:57 How?
02:00 Hurting yourself is easy, but living is hard.
02:05 I need help.
02:06 Stay clean for 72 hours, the sofa's yours.
02:09 But you got to stay sober or you got to gober.
02:12 I just came up with that.
02:13 I swear to you.
02:14 OK, wait.
02:14 Wait.
02:15 Starting now.
02:19 Yeah, this is going to go great.
02:23 Sometimes you need someone else to help
02:25 you to do things on your own.
02:26 Breathe in, breathe out.
02:30 Punch it.
02:32 Hey!
02:33 What do I do?
02:37 Talk about it.
02:38 You share, you listen.
02:40 You think we should tell her that the couch folds
02:42 into a bed?
02:43 No, we'd have to move the coffee table.
02:45 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:48 [LAUGHTER]
02:49 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:53 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:56 I think that guy's choking.
02:57 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:00 How is that?
03:01 I almost threw up.
03:02 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:05 No, it's fine.
03:06 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:10 You're Rocky, and Mr. T is a drug that you have to fight.
03:14 Yeah, like tetracycline.
03:16 What?
03:16 No, that's a good drug.
03:18 Is that a good--
03:18 Oh, OK, Tylenol.
03:20 People get strung out on Tylenol.
03:22 It's also good for kids.
03:23 What's that stuff?
03:24 Tiramisu.
03:26 Is that a drug?
03:27 That's a cake.
03:27 That's a dessert.
03:28 I don't know what I'm talking about.
03:29 Tamiflu?
03:30 Tamiflu.
03:30 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:33 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:37 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:40 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:44 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:51 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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