Mom vs. Valentine's Day

My Recipes

Nicole, who’s admittedly a Dollar-Tree-kind-of-mom is tasked with recreating a pair of Valentine’s crafts. Disillusioned by the current, competitive nature of DIY Valentines, she gets real with us.

Transcript

00:00 Happy Valentine's Day.

00:01 Am I making a fancy dinner?

00:03 Let's see.

00:04 Oh, hell no.

00:06 (upbeat music)

00:10 Okay, so we're going to make little Valentine's Day mice.

00:14 I hate any kind of rodent.

00:16 You want to think this is cute.

00:18 They're not cute, but they look pretty easy.

00:20 But I don't understand the cute saying

00:22 that would go with them.

00:23 Like an olive is like olive you.

00:25 What does a mouse say?

00:26 How does that go with Valentine's Day?

00:28 Oh, I guess they're made with kisses.

00:29 I get it.

00:30 Kiss, see?

00:31 Yeah, so everyone makes their Valentines now.

00:34 That is ridiculous.

00:36 I don't know who started it.

00:37 Probably Martha Stewart or somebody.

00:39 First of all, when I was little, it was just a card.

00:41 Fold it in half with your name on it.

00:44 Now, they don't have time for that.

00:46 Now it's just, don't put anyone's name on it.

00:48 Just sign the name.

00:49 And you better have candy attached to it

00:51 or your friends are not going to be happy,

00:53 according to my kids.

00:54 So now people probably spend $30 on Valentines

00:59 for one kid per class.

01:01 I'm still a $5 and under kind of lady here.

01:05 Sorry, my kids' friends.

01:06 I might attach candy to it,

01:08 but it's still gonna be a card from the dollar store.

01:10 So I assume we're supposed to make these

01:12 and then put them with a Valentine.

01:13 Now let's talk about the teacher gift.

01:16 Is this necessary?

01:17 Does the teacher really want a wreath made of candy?

01:20 No, she wants a bottle of wine.

01:22 Of all the crafts that we could have chosen,

01:24 these are doable.

01:26 I like doable.

01:27 Got our kisses.

01:29 You put two of these together, you glue them,

01:31 and that makes the mouse body.

01:33 That I'm okay with.

01:34 It's when we get to all these little details

01:36 that are unnecessary.

01:37 That's when I start to get worked up.

01:40 You gotta make ears, eyes, nose, and tail.

01:44 Because I promise all those kids

01:45 are gonna pay special attention to these little details.

01:48 They're just gonna rip open the candy

01:50 to get to the chocolate.

01:51 So do you think that you would be making these

01:53 or your kids?

01:54 Oh, the moms are totally making these

01:57 because it started when my kids were in nursery school.

02:01 Those one-year-olds don't know how to do this.

02:04 So when the moms send these elaborate bags home

02:06 that have a cute theme,

02:08 and all I did was send their kid a lollipop,

02:11 I felt so down on myself.

02:13 Then it just got worse and worse and worse.

02:15 I'm gonna make six.

02:17 We're gonna pretend we're in the nursery school

02:18 where they only have six kids in the class.

02:20 In my kids' class, there's 13 or 16 or something.

02:24 But if you have to make it for the entire fifth grade

02:27 or the entire whatever grade, you're screwed.

02:30 You better have gone to the dollar store.

02:31 I think the tail part is a little excessive.

02:34 You could have just used the end of the Hershey Kiss

02:36 'cause that would save you on one more thing

02:38 you have to buy for this craft.

02:40 We had to buy the Hershey Kisses, string, wiggly eyes.

02:44 So let's see, we're up to about three, six, $10.

02:48 That's not terrible.

02:49 I would have the paper.

02:49 Maybe that would be the only thing I didn't have to buy.

02:51 Who's gonna cut out all these little circles for the ears?

02:54 If we did this, I would then just get plain

02:57 construction paper and cut little squares out

03:00 and my kid would write, "To Amy from Stella," period.

03:04 I'm not then gonna go buy the box of Valentines.

03:07 I wouldn't choose the mouse.

03:08 I still wouldn't choose the mouse.

03:10 I needed to speak more Valentine's Day

03:12 right off the get-go.

03:13 I'd have to be thinking, "What does mouse mean?"

03:15 My kids would be like, "Mom, that's all they're gonna get?

03:17 "One little mouse?"

03:20 So I would probably choose a craft that's a little bigger

03:22 so it looks like, you know, if we're gonna do this,

03:25 let's impress everybody.

03:26 My kids come home with a bag full of bags

03:29 of Valentine treats.

03:30 And it's Valentine's Day.

03:31 This is not Halloween, people.

03:33 Ay-yi-yi.

03:34 This glue is so stringy.

03:36 Okay, I forgot to put the ears in.

03:38 I should have done that.

03:39 They're so little.

03:40 Too little for my hands.

03:41 Why would you do this?

03:43 Unless your kid was named Minnie or something.

03:45 Then it would make sense.

03:46 Okay, I'm trying to think of a good mouse saying.

03:49 - It's mice to be your friend.

03:51 - Oh, that's a good one.

03:52 So mice to meet you.

03:54 I don't think these are gonna stand up as cute

03:56 as they do on this little picture.

03:58 One down, 50 to go.

04:01 Yeah, my kids would get bored

04:02 probably after a couple minutes.

04:03 So then I would be up late the night before Valentine's

04:07 doing this.

04:08 Everything seems to be like a competition

04:10 of who can be the fanciest, who brings the best treats.

04:15 And then every holiday loses its meaning.

04:18 Valentine's has become like Christmas morning

04:21 all over again.

04:22 Kids get all this stuff.

04:23 And who brought it, Cupid?

04:25 Trying to decide if my kids' friends would figure out

04:28 that this is a mouse.

04:29 Did you put the nose on the last one?

04:31 Oh, no, that's what's missing.

04:33 It just took me what, five minutes to make two?

04:37 And I'm in nursery school class.

04:38 Imagine if I was in the elementary school.

04:40 Ain't nobody got time for that.

04:42 Maybe I won't make six.

04:43 Okay, the hot glue is annoying enough.

04:46 We're gonna have to come up with something else.

04:48 Tell me one person who thinks a mouse is not a rat.

04:51 Minnie Mouse looks nothing like a mouse.

04:53 I know a lot of people that would have done this

04:54 like when their kids are in their first year of school.

04:58 And then as each year goes by, you do less and less

05:01 'cause they finally get it.

05:03 Everybody's just so extra.

05:06 I haven't even gotten to the teacher yet.

05:08 I'm over it.

05:09 Moving on.

05:12 You wanna glue them on there, little pre-made cards?

05:15 Oh my gosh, no.

05:17 No, this is the way it would be.

05:20 That now doesn't match this.

05:22 So you'd have to get like Minnie Mouse valentines

05:25 or if you wanna see what I really do.

05:27 You write your name on it.

05:29 That's all I would do.

05:30 Might take these back to the store.

05:32 Get my money back.

05:33 Now, the valentines candy wreath.

05:35 Oh, that poor teacher.

05:37 Curl some ribbon, snip it in sections

05:40 and pin them all over the wreath.

05:42 I don't know why you just wouldn't glue the ribbon.

05:44 Or I would just tie the ribbon.

05:46 Let's tie the ribbon.

05:47 Take the pins back.

05:49 I would never do this in real life.

05:51 See, the ribbon's probably about a dollar.

05:53 This is probably about a dollar.

05:55 And this is like five dollars.

05:56 Again, we're close to $10 for the teacher gift.

05:59 Now, teachers, would you rather have this

06:01 or a five dollar gift card from Starbucks?

06:04 Okay, let's get to gluing.

06:08 So extra.

06:10 I think tying the ribbon was a good idea.

06:13 Oh, this is dumb.

06:14 My kids would want to do this for their teachers

06:17 and then they wouldn't believe me

06:19 when I would say, "Listen, I promise you,

06:21 "they don't want that."

06:22 Although, you know one of my kids' teachers

06:24 is getting this when I leave here.

06:26 Oh, that Nicole.

06:27 How did she have time to do this?

06:29 More glue.

06:30 Are you feeling really creative?

06:31 I'm not sure creative is the word.

06:33 Although, I'm feeling kind of proud.

06:35 Mine's pretty cute.

06:37 Here's a tip.

06:38 If you use these little smaller candies,

06:40 they fill in the white spaces.

06:42 (scissors snipping)

06:43 You didn't think I knew how to do that.

06:45 It's coming, it's coming.

06:46 Okay, big ribbon on the top.

06:48 If I was a teacher, I'd probably be annoyed

06:50 at parents who did things like this.

06:52 I would feel like they're trying to suck up to me.

06:54 This is why you buy a pre-made bow.

06:56 (scissors snipping)

06:58 I can do this.

06:59 Almost.

07:00 Lord, why am I spending so much time on this?

07:03 Again, teachers, you know you want this.

07:07 I did pretty damn good.

07:09 Feeling a little bit accomplished.

07:10 Overall, Valentine's Day has become overplayed.

07:15 The expectations on moms and parents are just too high.

07:20 The teachers are not expecting this,

07:22 so that's good because they're not gonna get it.

07:24 I guess there's gonna be one lucky teacher

07:27 and one lucky kid.

07:28 Now, if one of my kids' teachers

07:30 genuinely would rather have this

07:33 than a Starbucks gift card, let me know

07:35 and I will make you one

07:37 and every other teacher at the school one.

07:39 (bell dinging)

07:40 Until then, happy Valentine's Day.

07:43 [MUSIC PLAYING]

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