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00:15 From Lana Del Rey's emotional ballads
00:17 to Humbert Humbert's disturbing obsession with Lolita,
00:21 having troubled relationships with fathers
00:23 is a common theme in popular culture.
00:25 But while these examples may romanticize
00:27 or sensationalize the concept of daddy issues,
00:31 the reality is much deeper and more serious.
00:34 What does it really mean to have daddy issues?
00:36 And how do these issues shape your life and relationships?
00:40 In this video, we'll take a look
00:42 at the psychology behind father wounds
00:43 and explore the real impact
00:45 of an unhealthy father-child dynamic
00:47 on a person's mental health and relationships.
00:50 What are daddy issues?
00:53 According to licensed mental health counselor,
00:55 Bisma Anwar, the concept of daddy issues
00:57 refers to the psychological effects
00:59 of a strained or absent father-figure relationship
01:02 on a person's mental health and relationships.
01:05 Psychology labels daddy issues as the father complex.
01:08 The term describes problems in adulthood
01:11 that may be connected to difficulties
01:13 with the person's father during childhood.
01:15 Clinical psychologist, Dr. Carla Manley, says,
01:18 "It can manifest in a number of ways.
01:21 "The experience is as complex as the name suggests.
01:25 "Commonly, there's an inability to trust other men
01:28 "in your adult life."
01:30 Though it's generally used in relation to women,
01:32 the fact is anyone who grew up
01:34 with a dysfunctional father figure can develop daddy issues.
01:37 The idea comes from Sigmund Freud's theory
01:39 of the Oedipus complex.
01:41 It's named after the character Oedipus
01:42 in the ancient Greek play,
01:44 in which Oedipus unknowingly kills his father
01:46 and marries his mother.
01:48 Freud used this theory to theorize
01:50 that young children may try to get the love and attention
01:53 of their opposite sex parent
01:55 by competing with their same sex parent.
01:57 And while Freud's idea might be a good starting point,
02:01 today we don't really talk
02:02 about the Oedipus complex anymore.
02:04 So according to modern psychologists,
02:07 what are the origins of a father wound?
02:09 Modern theories, attachment, absence, and abuse.
02:12 Modern research suggests that the relationship
02:15 between a child and their father
02:16 can have a significant impact
02:18 on their development and wellbeing.
02:19 The one thing people with daddy issues have in common
02:22 is their relationship with their father
02:23 did not offer the love and support they needed.
02:26 Without an emotional attachment,
02:28 the child develops a deep feeling of unimportance
02:31 or a lack of self-acceptance.
02:33 Dr. Manley says, "In essence,
02:35 the adult child with daddy issues
02:36 unconsciously thinks and behaves in ways
02:38 that are an attempt to repair or repeat psychic wounds
02:42 that stem from the father-child relationship
02:44 or lack thereof."
02:46 For example, a 2008 study published
02:48 in the journal Acta Pediatrica
02:50 found that children who have a strong attachment
02:52 to their fathers are more likely
02:53 to have better social skills and emotional regulation,
02:56 as well as higher self-esteem and self-confidence.
02:58 On the other hand, children who grow up
03:00 with absent or abusive fathers
03:02 may be at higher risk for psychological and social problems.
03:06 A dad who wasn't present
03:07 or who didn't offer up any attention
03:09 leaves you with the fear of abandonment, rejection,
03:12 or constant worry that your partner may leave you,
03:15 according to therapist, Sonia Keller.
03:17 A 2017 study published in Journal of Child
03:20 and Family Studies has shown that children
03:22 who grow up without a father
03:24 are more likely to experience depression, anxiety,
03:27 and other mental health issues.
03:28 Also, a 2021 study published in Journal of Family Theory
03:32 suggests that the absence of a father
03:34 can lead to attachment issues
03:36 where the child has difficulty
03:37 forming healthy attachments with others.
03:39 Additionally, children who grow up with abusive fathers
03:42 may experience trauma that can affect their mental
03:45 and emotional development.
03:47 Did you have a strained
03:48 or unhealthy connection with your father?
03:50 If so, you may struggle with some difficulties
03:52 in your adult relationships.
03:54 So let's explore some of these difficulties.
03:57 A troubled father's legacy.
03:59 Growing up without a nurturing and supportive father
04:01 can lead a daughter to become insecure.
04:04 In her paper titled "Fatherless Woman,
04:06 What Happens to the Adult Woman
04:08 Who Was Raised Without Her Father?"
04:10 Gabriella Korch, PhD, says that a girl's self-worth
04:13 is often reflected in her father's behavior towards her.
04:17 A woman who had a positive relationship with her dad
04:19 is likely to be self-confident,
04:20 while a woman who lacked this validation
04:22 may struggle with low self-esteem.
04:24 This could make it harder for her
04:25 to overcome challenges throughout her life.
04:27 Korch also discusses three types of love relationships
04:30 that adult women may have
04:31 if they experienced emotional absence from their fathers.
04:35 In the first type,
04:36 the multifaceted arena of relationships.
04:38 Women who lack validation from themselves
04:40 may seek it through sexual relationships with men
04:43 until they feel accepted by the right one.
04:46 In the second type, marrying daddy.
04:48 Women may seek out older partners
04:51 as a way to find the father figure they never had.
04:53 In the third type, avoiding engaging emotions.
04:56 Women may choose to avoid emotional involvement with men
04:59 and focus on their careers instead.
05:01 Complex relationship with a father
05:03 can have a negative impact on sexual behavior as well.
05:06 A 2013 study published in the journal
05:08 of personality and social psychology
05:10 found that when fathers are absent
05:12 or not very involved in their daughter's lives,
05:15 it can lead to risky sexual behavior in women,
05:17 such as being more sexually permissive
05:19 and having negative attitudes towards using protection.
05:23 While the term daddy issues
05:24 often describes women's attachment issues in a relationship,
05:27 it's important to note
05:28 that this is not a female only problem.
05:31 Father complex was clinically used to refer to men
05:34 who had destructing, toxic relationships with their fathers
05:37 and struggled with approval.
05:39 Now psychologists realize it's not just related to males.
05:42 Since then, society has colloquialized
05:44 the term into daddy issues.
05:46 A 2013 dissertation from Drexel University
05:49 found that women who grew up with an absent
05:51 or emotionally distant father reported a range of issues,
05:54 including the lack of a male role model,
05:56 feelings of inadequacy,
05:58 such as a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem,
06:01 and a quest in adulthood to find father substitutes.
06:04 If you're watching this video
06:05 because you're struggling with the impact
06:07 of an unhealthy relationship with your father,
06:09 know that you're not alone.
06:10 Many people have faced similar challenges
06:12 and found ways to heal.
06:14 It's important to recognize that you can't change the past,
06:17 but you can work to improve your present and future.
06:20 Seeking support from a mental health professional
06:22 can be a helpful first step in working through your feelings
06:25 and finding healthy ways to cope.
06:27 Remember that it is never too late
06:30 to build a positive and nurturing relationship with yourself
06:33 and to seek out support
06:34 and loving relationships with others.
06:36 Remember that you're worthy of love
06:37 and that you have the strength and resilience
06:39 to overcome this challenge.
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