00:00 This is Tamara.
00:02 She fell in love with Fahan.
00:05 The couple come from two very different religions.
00:09 My religion is Islam.
00:10 My religion is Protestant Christianity.
00:12 And after sharing their unconventional match online,
00:16 they received a lot of hateful comments.
00:18 Imagine thinking getting married to a d*** is a personality.
00:21 Mixed marriages are idiotic and insane.
00:24 There is no self-respect.
00:25 You enjoy being oppressed?
00:27 He'll show his true colours one day and you'll regret it all.
00:30 Worried about convincing his parents,
00:33 Fahan initially researched if this would be accepted in Islam.
00:37 My family didn't want me to marry a Christian.
00:39 It was shocking.
00:41 I was uncomfortable because it's two different religions.
00:46 How do you feel about the relationship now?
00:49 I'm Tamara.
00:53 And I'm Fahan.
00:54 And we have different religions.
00:57 My religion is Protestant Christianity.
00:59 My religion is Islam.
01:01 I'm originally from Pakistan.
01:03 My mum is from Hong Kong and my dad is from Canada.
01:06 Tamara and I met at a floor hockey league here in Richmond.
01:12 And I used to ref her brother's games I would see here every weekend.
01:16 Eventually we were put on the same co-ed adult hockey team.
01:20 We added each other on social media and we started messaging.
01:24 We realised that we both secretly had a crush on one another for quite a few years.
01:27 But we just had both never said anything due to cultural and religious differences.
01:31 I knew quite a bit about Christianity before.
01:35 I did research on religion in high school when I was going through my religious journey.
01:40 Islam is a huge, huge part of my life.
01:43 So that's part of the reason why it took me a couple of months to tell my parents about Tamara.
01:48 Because I spent those couple of months doing a lot of research.
01:52 I was reading a lot of books, talking to imams and shaykhs all across the country and across the world.
01:57 To get their insight and to make sure that this was something that was permissible in Islam.
02:02 And I wasn't breaking any rules.
02:04 So wearing the cross is really just a symbol of hope and reminds me of God's forgiveness and eternal life.
02:11 I unfortunately didn't have a lot of knowledge about Islam before Farhan.
02:15 When we first started talking I'm embarrassed to say I didn't even know what halal food was.
02:20 So I've learned a lot since then.
02:23 I haven't had to make a lot of lifestyle changes.
02:26 I had to learn how to cook halal which seemed kind of scary at first until I realized that it's not that complicated at all.
02:32 You just do the ingredients, yeah.
02:34 I bought some more clothing that is Islamically modest.
02:38 Every Sunday I go to church with Tamara.
02:40 So I just sit there, I listen to the sermon.
02:43 Every Friday I go to Jummah with Farhan which is Friday prayer at the mosque.
02:48 I don't participate in any form of prayer or worship there.
02:51 I typically sit in the back and I listen.
02:53 So we had a different wedding ceremony for each of our religions just because we have different beliefs regarding marriage and having a wedding ceremony.
03:02 So it's really important to honour both.
03:04 So the first one is a Muslim wedding ceremony and that's our Nikkah ceremony here.
03:10 And then we also had a Christian Western ceremony.
03:13 And in this one I wore a white dress.
03:16 I started making content about our relationship right after around the time that we got the film from our weddings.
03:23 Before Farhan and I got married we looked for representation online of similar types of relationships or marriages but we couldn't find a lot.
03:31 So we felt pretty alone.
03:33 So I always thought that it was actually important to post about our relationship.
03:38 There's actually a huge community of people who need the support and that way they don't feel so isolated.
03:44 We get a high variety of different types of comments.
03:47 Imagine thinking getting married to a ******* as a personality.
03:51 There are many people like you who say they are Christian and also betray the Christ.
03:55 I hope you will be in hell.
03:57 You don't marry a Muslim. You enjoy being oppressed. He'll show his true colours one day and you'll regret it all.
04:03 Mixed marriages are idiotic and insane. There is no self-respect.
04:07 People can get really creative.
04:09 It's funny. Yeah.
04:11 They're quite humorous to read.
04:14 I think the ones that talk about us going to hell or not being a real Muslim or a real Christian sometimes is a little bit disheartening.
04:21 Especially because they typically come from people of our own religion.
04:26 It's okay. It's expected. We knew we would get these types of comments.
04:30 Some positive comments we receive are from a lot of individuals who are in similar relationships as ours.
04:37 They tell us that representation really helps them not feel alone and just makes them feel supported.
04:43 Thank you for sharing your story. It inspires me a lot and gives me strength.
04:47 So happy to see other couples going through a similar journey and making it through all the hardships that come with interracial and interfaith relationships.
04:54 My family reacted, I guess, pretty neutrally.
05:00 They knew Farhan already before.
05:02 They had their concerns just about our different backgrounds and our different religions.
05:07 But overall, they were supportive with whatever choices I decided to make and who I marry.
05:12 So my family and friends were in shock when I told them about Tamera.
05:17 They had concerns about it logistically working and whether it was even permissible in our religion to marry someone that was not Muslim.
05:24 It's not really something that's usually done in our community.
05:27 So they didn't really know about it and how it works.
05:30 When I told my mom, she went into shock because I never talked about girls or anything like that.
05:36 So that in itself was news to her.
05:38 And then when I told her that it was with someone that wasn't Muslim, she went into even more shock.
05:44 She was like, it's not permissible.
05:47 You know, it's not going to work out.
05:49 She had a bunch of concerns.
05:51 It was a shock.
05:53 I was kind of uncomfortable.
05:56 It's two different religions, so it is hard to blend in together.
06:02 I had worries.
06:04 So Ma, how did you first feel when I told you about my relationship with Tamera?
06:08 Well, I didn't believe it for once.
06:11 And with the passage of time, you explained to me and you said everything is going to be fine.
06:17 Me and your dad went to some of the scholars just to find out what's going on and if they can explain it to us.
06:23 And they told us it's fine.
06:26 Shouldn't be any issue.
06:28 If you love her, and of course, that's what matters.
06:32 Because it's your life, so you have to live according to it.
06:36 So if you're okay with that, you're okay.
06:39 How did meeting Tamera help change your mind?
06:43 It was nice.
06:45 When I met her, she was kind of nervous.
06:47 And that's the thing that really liked me because she didn't know what I'm going to say or do.
06:56 So that's why she was kind of a bit nervous.
06:58 But the first look was amazing.
07:01 I saw her and I said, "She's the one."
07:03 So, yeah.
07:05 And I still love her.
07:07 She's a beautiful girl.
07:09 So I think she makes Farhan happy.
07:12 And they will be happy together.
07:14 Always and forever.
07:17 [laughs]
07:19 It was difficult to not be accepted by Farhan's mom
07:22 because even though it wasn't something that was personal about me,
07:26 because we'd never met each other, it was because I'm Christian.
07:30 And Christianity is such a core part of who I am.
07:34 It's not something that I was going to compromise or change.
07:36 So the situation did feel quite hopeless in the beginning.
07:40 But now she showers me in her love through all the clothing that she gets me.
07:46 So things can change.
07:48 To those that judge our relationship,
07:51 I would point them to a verse in the Quran that talks about how
07:54 judging someone else reflects poorly on you.
07:57 The act of judging someone else may even elevate their status in comparison.
08:02 So it's better to look inwardly than to judge other people.
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