Dear Hiring Committee Today I woke up feeling shitty Just another day with no job And my folks calling me a slob So please see my attached cover letter I think you'll agree I'm the better Candidate for the position And yes I'm flexible and I am wishin' to meet with you soon
I really need some money to move out by the end of June the end of June i don't wanna be livin' with my parents when I'm thirty so how about you Hire Me Hire me?
Hire me I've got the skills and the finesse Hire me I'll show initiative I know your address Hire me I always give 100% Hire me Shame if your kids got into an accident
So do what's best for everyone involved Hire me and all your problems will be solved check my references they will all attest I am the motherf%^&ing best So Hire me do it now F&^%$^!
Dear Hiring Committee it's been six months and it is a pity no response, no word at all I know you're busy but at least a call I'm starting to think that you don't care and maybe I should go over there and prove to you what I am worth maybe put you underneath the earth so please understand
I wouldn't ever normally dare to make such a firm demand such a firm demand but if you don't employ me my option's really only necrophiliac sodomy (that's gross)
So Hire Me I'll make sure to meet your deadlines hire me I think you can read between the lines hire me here is my updated CV Hire me you'll notice I speak murder fluently
So do what's best for everyone involved Hire me and all your problems will be solved check my references they will all attest I am the motherf%^&ing best So Hire me I can start now Hire me Hire me I've got the know-how Hire me Hire me I'm gonna contact you Hire me Hire me no matter what you do Hire me Hire me Hire me Hire me Hire meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
SHOT BY Noam Kroll and Michael Kerr
EDITED BY Noam Kroll, Josh Mover and Pedja Milosavljevic
CAST Josh Mover, Mat Wronski, Stan Simon, Craig Salz, Liz Zigelman, Michael Kerr and the fine people of Toronto
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