There was no doubt about it: Brenda’s parrot Polly was Vulgar with a capital V. He had a mouth like a truck driver and was forever embarrassing her in front of friends and family. She had adopted him 3 months earlier. Brenda never used bad language, but imagined that Polly learned to swear from his previous owner. One day, while she was entertaining the parish priest, Polly began to swear. She was beside herself with embarrassment. When the priest left she threatened to take the bird back to the shelter, but in reality she didn’t have the heart. Instead, she picked Polly up and said “Listen up! You had better stop cursing, or else!” But after a few minutes Polly began to utter profanities that would have made a sailor blush. Later that week, Brenda had her mother-in-law over for lunch. And of course Polly was his old foul-mouthed self. Brenda was totally humiliated. When her mother-in-law had gone, Brenda threatened to feed Polly to their cat. But Polly was unimpressed and started to launch terrible insults at Brenda. She didn’t know what to do. The following week, Brenda’s boss came over to drop off some paperwork. Polly gave him his best. When he had gone, Brenda took Polly and put him in the freezer. He continued to rant. But after a few minutes, all was quiet. She didn’t hear a peep out of him. Worried that Polly might freeze to death, she opened the freezer door. Out came Polly. “Please forgive me for all of the trouble I’ve caused you, I don’t know what got into me” he said. Brenda was stunned. “I promise I’ll never use a foul word as long as I live” he continued. Brenda tried to figure out the change in attitude. “By the way” asked Polly “What did the chicken do?” That’s all for now. See you next time!
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