00:00Hi, I'm Annie Georgia Greenberg, and lately, I think like many people, I've been feeling lonely.
00:08I have nothing.
00:11Did I ever tell you about that time at summer camp?
00:13I scraped my knee when I...
00:14You scraped your knee jumping down from the rafters?
00:16What about that awful first date? It was pouring rain, and the guy shows up.
00:19I know.
00:20Okay, what about 2002?
00:23My bat mitzvah...
00:24I was there.
00:26Damn.
00:27I think I'm getting sick of myself.
00:35Maybe it's time you try talking to somebody other than yourself.
00:41Like who?
00:42Hi, my name is Lisa Jeremka. I am an assistant professor at the University of Delaware, and my research program
00:48for about the last 10 years has focused on understanding the negative health consequences of loneliness.
00:55I'm so happy to have your ear because I'm starting to feel like I might be lonely.
01:04Well, so I'm really glad that you were willing to say that, and it's certainly something that is often difficult
01:10for people to admit, but I think it's really important to recognize that because the only way that we can
01:16proactively help ourselves is to recognize when we are feeling that way.
01:20And that's something that you want to take really seriously because loneliness isn't just a feeling. Loneliness can have really
01:27significant impacts on your health.
01:29We know, for example, from research that people who are feeling lonely can have more cognitive problems, they experience more
01:37depression, they experience more pain and fatigue, they actually experience more cold symptoms when they are infected with the common
01:45cold virus.
01:46So my loneliness could kill me.
01:49Well, there actually is research showing that people who experience loneliness do die younger.
01:55One of the ways that we think that feeling lonely could actually affect our physical health is by affecting our
02:02immune system.
02:03And I think that's really important during this pandemic because our immune system is what keeps us healthy.
02:09Our immune system is what would help us fight off the coronavirus if we were infected with it.
02:14What are some ways to combat loneliness when I can't necessarily leave my house?
02:19So there are two main categories of ways that we can maintain that sense of connection.
02:23On the one hand, we have engaged forms.
02:26Those are really direct ways to establish connections with other people, talking to people, calling them, etc.
02:33We also have more disengaged forms, and those are often driven by something that we call social surrogates.
02:41And those are non-human things that can take the place of our human interactions, like pets or favorite TV
02:48characters.
02:48I needed a doctor's opinion on what my kind of digital connective behaviors should be at a time like this.
02:55So I recommend trying to mimic the types of social interactions and the types of behaviors that you were doing
03:01before the pandemic as well.
03:03So, you know, if you were someone who worked in an office all the time, why not try to mirror
03:10that now and Zoom people in while you're working?
03:13Or if you were someone who went out for drinks often with your friends, why not try to mirror that
03:19as well and do a Zoom party where you're all having a glass of wine?
03:22I think if we are not proactive as a society to prevent people from feeling lonely during this pandemic, that
03:30once the pandemic is over, we're going to have another crisis on our hands.
03:34Die caramba.
03:36We've got to do something about this.
03:38You heard the lady.
03:39You've got to take loneliness seriously.
03:41Because a recent study showed that zero contact can be as dangerous as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
03:49Gross.
03:51Yeah, but where do I start?
03:53Okay, let's recreate my day from before quarantine.
03:56Hey, Corey, it's me, Annie from the coffee shop.
04:00Yeah, hi.
04:01So I'm doing this thing where I'm recreating my day from before quarantine.
04:05And I was wondering if you wouldn't mind just saying my order.
04:09Just like say it?
04:10Yeah, just to like, you know, have that same routine of us.
04:15Sure.
04:18Grounded ice sugar-free latte with soy milk.
04:22For Annie.
04:24Yeah, got it right here.
04:27See you tomorrow.
04:28Next up, I commute in on the subway.
04:31Yeah, I worked for the MTA.
04:32Okay, great.
04:34So can you say it?
04:35Stand clear of the closing doors.
04:37No, say it like the real thing.
04:39Like you mean it.
04:42Stand clear of the closing doors.
04:44This is Manhattan-bound 2 train.
04:47Next stop, Grand Army Plaza.
04:49Stand clear of the closing doors.
04:51Perfect.
04:53Next up, The Office, which I'm recreating by FaceTiming my two desk mates, Connie.
04:57Hey, Annie.
04:58And Diana.
04:59Hey, guys.
05:00Hi.
05:01So, uh, you want us to just...
05:04Be there.
05:05Like in The Office?
05:06Exactly.
05:07Just ignore me like you usually do.
05:09Okay, I can do that.
05:11Ignore you happily.
05:13In our daily lives, we're used to lots of passive interactions.
05:17And studies show that being in the presence of others,
05:19even if we're not interacting much, can actually be really meaningful.
05:22So FaceTime your friends and leave it up and running
05:25while you're doing daily activities like cooking, cleaning, or working.
05:28Uh, Annie, can you, uh, can you mute yourself?
05:31Or your other self?
05:32Oh, yeah.
05:34Sorry.
05:35Anyways, there are lots of ways to battle loneliness, even by yourself.
05:39Eating comfort foods with strong emotional memories
05:42can help us feel more connected to others.
05:44Mine's mac and cheese.
05:46I see that.
05:47And watching our favorite TV shows or reading our favorite books
05:50can provide an experience of belonging and connection.
05:53Mine's sex in the city.
05:55On the 40th day of quarantine,
05:57I didn't feel like I was living, sitting in my living room.
06:01And I couldn't help but wonder,
06:03have we all just been wearing face masks all along?
06:06Reel it in, Carrie.
06:07This isn't all about you.
06:09In fact, a 2020 survey showed that nearly one-third
06:11of adults over the age of 45 were lonely even before corona,
06:15and that number goes up as the ages increase.
06:17Well, now I just feel silly.
06:19So, why don't you try reaching out to somebody in that demographic?
06:21Okay.
06:22I'll call my 86-year-old grandma.
06:24Good.
06:25Hi, grandma.
06:26It's Annie.
06:27Oh, hi, Annie.
06:29Annie, we're just watching you.
06:31I think it's terrific.
06:33They should put this on TV.
06:34Are they going to put it on TV?
06:36I don't know if they're going to put it on TV,
06:38but I appreciate you watching.
06:40How are you feeling?
06:41You know, because sometimes I feel lonely,
06:42and I know that you're by yourself a lot,
06:44and I wanted to know if you were feeling lonely or wanted to talk.
06:48I don't feel great, but I'm not depressed or anything.
06:50I just, I go along with the flow.
06:53Thank you for calling me to see how I'm feeling.
06:56Whoever you have to talk to,
06:58just say your grandmother is definitely liking this,
07:02and it should be on TV where everyone can see it.
07:05Well, that was cute,
07:06and a good reminder that we should all be reaching out to somebody every day
07:09that we think might be lonely.
07:11A good place to start is self-disclosing.
07:13This week, I learned that just because we're socially distanced
07:16doesn't mean we have to be socially isolated,
07:17and there are lots of easy ways to stay connected.
07:20As always, I'm ending this video with five acts of kindness
07:23that I've done on one day.
07:25Thanking our postal workers with some yummy treats,
07:27donating to a food bank,
07:29carrying a big box upstairs for a neighbor,
07:30writing a letter of gratitude to a friend,
07:32and writing a happy message on the sidewalk.
07:35Comment below on how you're giving back.
07:37I can really use the inspiration and ideas
07:39to feel less miserable during this global pandemic.
07:42Finally, I have the go-ahead from a doctor.
07:44That's a go-ahead.
07:46Eating junk food and watching television.
07:48Doctor's orders.
07:49Doctor's orders.
07:50Eat the comfort food and watch all that TV.
07:54Now is the time to take advantage of that.
