00:00I don't experience myself as feeling uncomfortable being perceived as a girl, but I also like
00:07to be perceived as a boy sometimes.
00:26Probably my personal style at this phase where I am now is probably closest to like the Victorian
00:32era German boys in Spring Awakening, the musical.
00:37Because I saw it when I was 13 and it made a very strong impression.
00:41It's just like a lot of like austerely cut like half suit type things, but their hair
00:47is all crazy because it's a rock opera.
00:50You own your gender, it doesn't own you.
00:52And I love to dress in a way that reminds people of that, like to make people second guess or
00:58like just have to like change their minds occasionally.
01:01I've always loved the way that based on what you wear you can kind of change someone's
01:06mind or someone's perspective.
01:08Ever since I was little I loved kind of dressing up and I loved the idea of costumes.
01:13In high school I think I just got more interested in kind of the masculine side of style.
01:18My preferred pronouns are honestly like whatever you want.
01:23I usually answer to she because it's partly accurate, but it's not all there is so I'd
01:29also answer to they or he.
01:30I don't really feel like my narrative fits a lot of, a lot of queer people's narratives.
01:35My mom doesn't really categorize herself as a lesbian.
01:38I would categorize her as pansexual, but she would, she's very, like she's not a millennial,
01:43so she's like I'm just whatever I am with whoever I am whenever.
01:47She also ruined coming out for me in that way because I tried to come out and she's like
01:52you are whatever you want to be all the time and I already knew that.
01:55I was born through donor insemination, which basically means that my mom is a single mother
01:59by choice.
02:00She's part of the, I mean the lesbian baby boom basically of the 90s.
02:06I feel like people were more confused by how little I actually cared about what they
02:11thought of me.
02:12Because you're supposed to care more when you're marginalized.
02:15I think I've been very lucky to not have as much of it as others.
02:19Even the, the norms that you use to define what makes clothes masculine or feminine kind
02:24of fall apart when you really start to look at them just as clothes.
02:28The feeling of pain that you can get when someone tells you the truth about themselves and
02:33it's not what you thought it was.
02:34Like, I'm not a girl, don't call me she.
02:37They're not just telling you to think differently about them, they're telling you to think differently
02:41about the way you see the world.
02:43They're asking you to change, which is, which is intimate.
02:46We're not used to being intimate with each other as strangers.
02:50So people get defensive and they say, no, I know what a man and a woman is and you're
02:55a woman or you're a man.
02:56Stop pretending.
02:57Why do you want to deny another person's reality that way?
03:01Like, the way they see the world is any less than the way you see yours.
03:04No matter where you are with respect to who you feel like or what you know about yourself
03:10or what you've told other people, just don't, for yourself, just don't internalize what other
03:15people are putting onto you.
03:16It's not your problem.
03:18It's, it's cis people need to get their shit together.
03:23Heteronormative thinking people need to get their shit together.
03:25You, you're, you keep doing what you're doing and you're fine.
Comments