00:00I don't really think of the future the same way as I did before.
00:05I just sort of have accepted that there might not be as much future as I want there to be.
00:12When you're faced with mortality, you've come to terms with the fact that there might not
00:18be tomorrow or next week or next year.
00:24My name is Allie Reeland.
00:26I was diagnosed in February 2015.
00:28I was 27.
00:30Christmas, put lotion on.
00:32Felt like a lump.
00:34I am BRCA positive.
00:35You know, it's probably nothing.
00:36Ultrasound.
00:37Biopsy.
00:38My doctor called me in to tell me that it was breast cancer.
00:42Invasive breast cancer.
00:45Estrogen positive.
00:47HER2 negative.
00:52I decided off the bat that I was going to have reconstruction.
00:56For me, it was a no-brainer.
00:59I think it would have been really difficult to be like, oh my god, like there's nothing
01:04there.
01:05All the doctor's appointments and the poking and the prodding and the tests and the robes,
01:10surgeries, they don't really feel like breasts anymore.
01:12They're just like a part of me to give that appearance, I guess.
01:17I'm still here.
01:19I'm still alive and I'm still me with or without breasts.
01:24It was like cancer woke me up, but then it really woke me up the second time.
01:29I was re-diagnosed metastatic May 2016.
01:33I was 28.
01:53At this point, there's really no surprises.
01:58You're going to have this disease for the rest of your life and you know that.
02:04When you're initially diagnosed with like stage one, stage two, it's like, okay, I can get
02:09through this and maybe I'll never get cancer again.
02:12And that's the hope, you know.
02:13But at this point, that's it.
02:16What's my life going to look like now and how am I going to deal with this on a day
02:20-to-day basis?
02:28Symptoms and stuff like that, I think it really depends on like what treatment I'm going through
02:33and I don't know which one's going to work.
02:35You know, it's just a matter of trying.
02:37If it works, it's great and if it doesn't, then you move on to the next thing.
02:45For a long time, I was like grieving that person that I was before.
02:50Looking at pictures, my long hair and going out and dating, the gym and like how I look.
02:59And you can't go back to that.
03:04Trying to embrace the person that I am now and priorities that have changed
03:08and the perspective that I have now, you know, it's definitely different.
03:19Metastatic breast cancer is not the number one thing.
03:23It's very low-funded research.
03:25The fact that it's not spoken about as much, it seems to be pushing people more to get it out
03:32there
03:33because, you know, women are dying every day from this disease.
03:40It's so important to enjoy the time that you have and not take it for granted.
03:46The future is now, basically.
03:49I think that's how it has to be in order to move forward every day.
