00:00Hey guys, it's Lucy Fink and this week I'm trying five days of spending time alone.
00:07I hate being alone because FOMO is a real thing and I totally have it.
00:13Are you great at having fun without me?
00:15Stop!
00:16Aww.
00:17We live in an age where people are fearful of doing things by themselves because they're
00:22afraid what others are going to think of them.
00:24One, crazy.
00:25Two, valid.
00:27Let me tell you about the spotlight effect.
00:31We have this egocentric way of thinking that makes us feel like everyone is looking at
00:36us, even though we are essentially going unnoticed.
00:39Remember when I did that week without my cellphone?
00:41Have you seen that episode yet?
00:43I thought this would be another good challenge.
00:45Am I afraid to spend time by myself?
00:47No.
00:47But I am excited to see what I can take away from these moments.
00:51Typically if I get a coffee before work, it's on the run, but today I'm going to park it
00:55at a coffee shop nearby and I'm just going to read and people watch, no cell phone.
00:59I will report back and will let you know how I felt on my own in the coffee shop.
01:05I really like being by myself.
01:07I like eating by myself.
01:09I just always make sure to have a phone or a magazine or something so I'm not like by
01:12myself, by myself.
01:14Bringing this with me to the cafe, bad idea.
01:18I thought that leaving my phone at home would be enough, but as it turns out, bringing a book
01:22is essentially the same thing.
01:23They both take you away from truly being by yourself.
01:27I've realized that people actually bring phones and books with them into public spaces
01:32to subtly hide their shame for the fact that they're alone.
01:35So being in the cafe with my book didn't really feel like I was spending time by myself.
01:40So for my next solo excursion, no activities are permitted.
01:45No cell phone, no book, just Lucy.
01:53I left the office in the middle of the day and I went to a sit down lunch just by
01:57myself.
01:58I ordered a triple decker chicken bacon sandwich with chips and an iced tea.
02:05You know what they say about when one of your senses goes away, the others get very strong?
02:09My sense of taste was explosive.
02:14When you go out to a meal alone, you don't have that whole side of your brain operating
02:20that's telling you to be social and keep up the conversation.
02:23Instead, your brain is focusing on one thing and one thing only.
02:27Two things, chicken and bacon.
02:29Commuting home is my me time.
02:32If I see one of my coworkers leaving the office at the same time as me,
02:35I'll walk four blocks out of my way just to not have to commute with them.
02:41I've been trying to think of things that I can do on my own.
02:45And something that I know a lot of creative, bright, intelligent people do
02:50is go to museums by themselves.
02:53I have never been to a museum by myself.
02:55But there's a catch.
02:57Instead of sending myself to a regular art gallery,
03:00why not mix it up a bit and make me feel super uncomfortable by myself?
03:06So I went to the sex museum.
03:08Obviously, the fact that it was a sex museum brought a whole new layer into this.
03:13But if I'm being completely honest,
03:14I wish that I had a friend when I left the museum
03:17because I had a lot of questions.
03:22My theory is that if you're eating alone,
03:24it doesn't mean that you don't deserve attention.
03:26So if you sit at the bar,
03:28then you get a lot of attention from the bartender
03:29and you get to hit on the bartender.
03:31Thursday night, movie night.
03:33And this is the night that I have been dreading.
03:35I have never been to the movies alone.
03:38So I'm gonna challenge myself.
03:39I'm going to a scary movie by myself.
03:42I don't like scary movies.
03:44Wish me luck.
03:50That was bad.
03:51I'm sleeping with my lamp on.
03:53I have to.
03:54I have to.
03:55One of the places I love going by myself is the dog park.
03:59I don't even have a dog, but I like to go to the dog park
04:02and watch other people's dogs.
04:04I once met a guy who knew a guy who wrote a book.
04:09And that book was about loving yourself.
04:11Every single relationship we have in our life
04:14is going to come to an end.
04:16Whether it's by a breakup or a divorce
04:18or in the worst of circumstances, death.
04:21Every single relationship is gonna end
04:23except that one relationship that you have with yourself.
04:26Give yourself the opportunity to enjoy your own company.
04:30Learn who you are.
04:31Learn what you like and don't like when there's nobody else around.
04:34I didn't necessarily love being by myself all the time.
04:37Even if you feel uncomfortable,
04:38force yourself to be in those situations
04:40because loving yourself is the most important thing
04:43in the world.
04:44And then cookies.
04:45Love yourself, then cookies.
04:47Cookies are maybe better.
