00:00You know what sucks?
00:02Realizing that everything you believe in is complete and utter bullshit?
00:05Sucks.
00:06What do you mean?
00:07Uh, you know, destiny and soulmates.
00:10True love and all that childhood fairytale.
00:15Nonsense.
00:16Oh, uh, Berger broke up with me on a post-it.
00:19On a post-it?
00:20Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yep.
00:23Read it and weep, my friends.
00:26I'm sorry I can't. Don't hate me.
00:29The motherfucker's concise.
00:31Or maybe he lost my number, or is out of town, or got hit by a cab, or his grandma
00:37died.
00:37Or maybe you just didn't call because he has no interest in seeing you again.
00:42I'll ring you later.
00:46Unless you've come to chuck me once in full.
00:49In which case, bye and thank you and sorry.
00:58Oh God, please don't chuck me. Don't chuck me.
01:01If you have chucked me, please change your mind. I'll behave much better in the future.
01:06On the other hand, if you haven't chucked me, please behave better next time we go out.
01:10Stuck up snob.
01:14This ice cream tastes like crap, by the way.
01:16Yeah, well, there's that low-cal, non-dairy, soy milk junk.
01:20We sort of, we saved the real stuff for the truly terminal cases.
01:24You know, when you start getting screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat.
01:28Yeah, yeah.
01:30I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
01:34I hate you so much it makes me sick.
01:36It even makes me rhyme.
01:40I hate it. I hate the way you're always right.
01:43I hate it when you lie.
01:45I hate it when you make me laugh.
01:47Even worse, when you make me cry.
01:51I hate it when you're not around and the fact that you didn't call.
01:55But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
01:57Not even close.
01:58Not even a little bit.
02:00Not even at all.
