00:09It seems like having kids is the worst career move a woman can make.
00:13Of course having a child is a beautiful, fulfilling experience.
00:17You think you know love, and I know people say this all the time.
00:19When she was born, I was like, this is the most, like, incredible thing that's ever happened.
00:23The connection I had with her when I was giving birth was something that I've never felt before.
00:28The fact that you get to love somebody unconditionally in that way and not even care if they love you
00:32back, you just love them so much.
00:34But in the U.S., it's also a costly, painful experience that illustrates that we have a major bias against
00:40working moms.
00:41Working moms make 4% less than women without kids.
00:44Low-income moms are hit even harder, making 6% less than women without kids.
00:49And this wage gap happens for every kid that you have.
00:51The U.S. is the only developed country without paid leave.
00:54The motherhood penalty is real.
00:57And it's not fair.
00:58We should be encouraging families to have as many kids as they want.
01:01Just like these countries that actually pay you to have them.
01:08So, what do you do if you want to have kids but you don't want to be penalized your whole
01:12career just because you live in the U.S.?
01:15Just have one.
01:16Mothers with only one kid face a smaller motherhood penalty.
01:19They have more time and energy to focus on their goals outside the home and kids actually get more time
01:24and attention from their parents.
01:26Some studies even suggest that moms with only one kid are happier.
01:30So, why aren't more families doing this?
01:33It turns out the minute a woman has a baby, she's pressured to have another one immediately.
01:37As if shit wasn't hard enough.
01:39A lot of parents feel guilty for only having one child.
01:42The culture tells you to.
01:43People say it's selfish.
01:45Have you really thought about that?
01:46Oh, you'll change your mind.
01:48Strangers will say to me, oh you wouldn't do that to your child.
01:51So, I asked a bunch of working moms on Facebook if they had ever received pressure to have a second
01:56child.
01:57Here's what they said.
01:58Yes, mostly from younger moms reminding me that my time was almost up.
02:01Everyone insisted that the kids should be close together and that every kid needs a sibling.
02:06I got pressure from everyone, no lie.
02:08My son was handed to me in the labor room.
02:10A nurse asked me, so are you ready to have another baby?
02:13I only had my child for 20 minutes at that point.
02:15Apparently, no one wants that kid to be alone.
02:18So, is having only one kid solving the motherhood penalty?
02:21Of course not.
02:22What solves the motherhood penalty is paid family leave and affordable childcare
02:25so that parents can have as many kids as they want without being penalized.
02:29Which, by the way, is pretty fucking basic.
02:31But in a culture that doesn't support working moms, being one and done kind of seems like a pretty good
02:36coping mechanism.
02:37At least until our country's policies reflect reality.
02:40Which is that women have both careers and kids.
02:43Obviously.
02:45Are you a smart opinionated woman and you want more video content because no one fucking talks to you?
02:49Like here!
02:55Where are we looking at this?
02:55I guess we may, as a child?
