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00:00:007th Ilumi
00:00:036th Birhante
00:00:064th Cash
00:00:072th
00:00:2811th
00:00:40What?
00:00:42I'm tired.
00:00:46Okay.
00:00:50I'm sick of all the meaningless connections.
00:00:57Well?
00:00:59Maybe.
00:01:01If you didn't fuck a new bitch every night, you'd actually take a moment to connect.
00:01:07Are you slut-shaming me right now?
00:01:11Absolutely not.
00:01:13But I know you.
00:01:15I'm having an existential crisis.
00:01:18Clearly.
00:01:21Why do I always do that?
00:01:23Do what?
00:01:25Lose myself and others.
00:01:28Like, I'm 22 and I still don't know what I'm doing.
00:01:32I'm going to take a kiss and say it's because you're only 22.
00:01:36Do you not see the difference between me and you?
00:01:39You and Rachel are in a healthy relationship.
00:01:42You're committed.
00:01:43You have a house.
00:01:44Me, I dated a girl who I love so much that I freaked the fuck out, screwed it all up,
00:01:50then
00:01:51wanted her back just to be at the same spot two years again later.
00:01:59I don't get a boutique that I fucking hate waxing vaginas all day.
00:02:06I think that sounds pretty sweet.
00:02:11What am I doing wrong?
00:02:14Parker, you have got to stop comparing us.
00:02:18We are on two separate timelines.
00:02:21We're two different people.
00:02:23I mean, we're in a weird age anyway.
00:02:26I mean, you got some people just going into college.
00:02:29You got some people getting married, they have kids.
00:02:33It's gross.
00:02:34I mean, that one guy we knew from AP Bio, I just got out of jail.
00:02:41I'm thinking about her again.
00:02:44No.
00:02:46I am.
00:02:53You have got to stop this.
00:02:57Every time you get off track, you go back to this, Parker.
00:03:03You are comfortable with her, okay?
00:03:06But you cannot keep going back to that just because.
00:03:10I think I just need to get out of here.
00:03:13Go where?
00:03:15I don't know.
00:03:16Like, Nashville?
00:03:18I just want something meaningful.
00:03:25I guess if it keeps you from doing something idiotic.
00:03:29I want to drive.
00:03:32I mean, we can go for a drive.
00:03:34I already drank.
00:03:35I mean, I want to go somewhere.
00:03:37Like, like a road trip.
00:03:40Why are you looking at me like that?
00:03:42Let's go.
00:03:43Like, like right now?
00:03:45Like right now.
00:03:48Oh my God.
00:03:51All right.
00:03:53Okay.
00:03:54Yes!
00:03:55Can we go tomorrow?
00:03:57Yeah, that's fine.
00:04:06Hey, Jessica.
00:04:08Um, I don't think that I'm going to be able to make it into work next week.
00:04:12What's that?
00:04:13My grandmother got hospitalized.
00:04:14She, uh, has really bad diarrhea.
00:04:23It won't stop.
00:04:27And they don't know, um, why.
00:04:32Listen, yeah, Jessica, I gotta go.
00:04:34I'm sorry.
00:04:34My mom is waiting on me.
00:04:36And I'll be in next week, I promise.
00:04:41You're gonna go to hell.
00:04:43My grandma's been dead for like three years.
00:04:46She'll appreciate the spot in 80, though.
00:04:48Okay.
00:04:50Okay.
00:05:11Close the curtain
00:05:17Stay on the phone
00:05:22We are the monsters
00:05:28Holding you still
00:05:33We are the gallows
00:05:39Up on the hill
00:05:46Can you pass me the gummy worms?
00:05:52There you go
00:05:53You know when I was a kid and we'd go to the theater with my mom
00:06:00She'd actually always bring gummies to flip the popcorn
00:06:03So that's where you got it from?
00:06:09She sounds like she'd be fun
00:06:10She wasn't
00:06:13She's not really
00:06:16There's no place to hide
00:06:29Parker
00:06:30I think I caught asthma
00:06:32I'm tired
00:06:34We haven't even started walking yet
00:06:40Shit
00:06:40Can you believe places like this just exist?
00:06:45We get to look at it with like our eyes
00:06:50It makes me feel kinda small
00:06:54But in a good way
00:06:55In a good way
00:06:56I guess that's better than you know like
00:06:58Going the other way around
00:06:59What kind of mean?
00:07:03It don't matter?
00:07:07Alright
00:07:07We're gonna stick a pen in that
00:07:08Come back to that later
00:07:10Enjoy the view
00:07:11Yeah
00:07:20I'm glad we did this
00:07:22It's a good idea
00:07:29I'm starting to think that I needed this too
00:07:32You know?
00:07:35I don't know
00:07:36I just feel like
00:07:37Every day's starting to blend together
00:07:40And it's just become so monotonous
00:07:42And like am I doing
00:07:45Something big
00:07:46In the grand scheme of everything?
00:07:48How could you say that?
00:07:50You and Rachel are literally perfect
00:07:54That's interesting
00:07:55That you think
00:07:56That just cause I'm in a relationship with Rachel
00:07:58That my life is squeaky clean and spotless
00:08:02I just never really thought about it
00:08:06I mean don't get me wrong
00:08:08Rachel's my bitch
00:08:09I love her
00:08:12But she doesn't define my whole existence
00:08:16Even on our best days
00:08:18I still feel like
00:08:20My existence
00:08:21Is uh
00:08:24Infinitesimal
00:08:25Woah!
00:08:26Big word
00:08:28I know
00:08:29It's a song
00:08:30It's a dope ass song
00:08:31You should listen to it
00:08:47It's a dope ass song
00:08:49So like
00:08:51We're supposed to see like UFOs?
00:08:54Yeah
00:08:56So
00:08:56Apparently
00:08:57When it gets dark
00:08:59This becomes like
00:09:00The darkest place in the country
00:09:01And then
00:09:02The UFOs come out
00:09:04So like at night time?
00:09:06Yeah
00:09:06At night time
00:09:08Interesting
00:09:09Yeah
00:09:11So
00:09:13You remember that one time me, you and Rachel went to Canada
00:09:17And then we all got lost in Toronto
00:09:20Yeah you would think that someone from Toronto would know their way around Toronto
00:09:25Yeah
00:09:26Well
00:09:28But do you remember how when we were on the plane and like all of our phones died and so
00:09:33we just gave up and then we went and got sushi
00:09:36Dude
00:09:37Best sashimi ever
00:09:39Oh nooo
00:09:41I guess I just miss doing stuff like that
00:09:43Well I kinda feel like that's what we're doing you know
00:09:46Sitting out in the woods
00:09:48Looking for aliens
00:09:51Yeah
00:09:53You do be having a point
00:09:56Yeah that's what we're doing
00:10:01So what's next?
00:10:02You know I really haven't thought that far
00:10:06Well
00:10:07I'm just following your lead
00:10:09I'm probably gonna need to go back to work sometime though
00:10:12Oh I definitely am getting fired
00:10:15Fuck capitalism
00:10:16I don't wanna work for modern societies anyways
00:10:18I wanna live in the woods
00:10:19And scavenge for berries
00:10:23Alright
00:10:25Well
00:10:28Why don't we go to Nashville?
00:10:30Really?
00:10:31Yeah
00:10:31You brought it up
00:10:32I mean
00:10:33If we left right now
00:10:35We could probably get there by the night
00:10:38Bed
00:10:39Bed
00:10:47But wait
00:10:47There is one more thing
00:10:49I want you to see
00:10:52Follow me
00:11:04What's your doing nerd?
00:11:07Just journaling a little
00:11:08Journaling?
00:11:10How was work?
00:11:13Oh good
00:11:14You know
00:11:14It could work
00:11:16Oh
00:11:17My dad called me on my break
00:11:19Yeah?
00:11:20Yeah
00:11:20He wants to see if we wanna go get dinner with him sometime this week
00:11:25I have no pain
00:11:27No pain?
00:11:28Good
00:11:31I think it'll be good
00:11:32I think it'll be good
00:11:33We literally haven't seen him since
00:11:35Can you help us with enough?
00:11:37I think it'll be bad to see ya
00:11:39Huh?
00:11:39Yeah
00:11:41You want coffee?
00:11:42Yeah
00:11:42Be good
00:11:47Will you get
00:12:01How much?
00:12:02I think he dabbed it
00:12:04Yeah
00:12:17So the aliens come to earth
00:12:20For this
00:12:23Uh huh
00:12:26And you
00:12:28You just put your stuff on the ground
00:12:30And the aliens will see it
00:12:34Yeah
00:12:34So I mean
00:12:35You just bring your weirds and little shit
00:12:38Um
00:12:39And then uh
00:12:41Like uh
00:12:42The aliens
00:12:45Beamed down and like appreciate it a lot
00:12:49I don't know
00:12:50That's what the lady at the desk said
00:12:51So
00:12:53And it's called an alien junkyard
00:12:56Yeah
00:13:01Okay well what are you gonna put down?
00:13:06Way ahead of you
00:13:17You too
00:13:19That's where you're leaving
00:13:22Yeah
00:13:23You don't think you should like leave some
00:13:24Like a picture of you and Rachel?
00:13:26No
00:13:27The aliens don't want to see a couple of normies
00:13:30They don't want to see Aubrey Plaza
00:13:31In a questionable Christmas film
00:13:35Okay
00:13:39What are you gonna leave?
00:13:40I don't know
00:13:45What about that?
00:13:45Oh hell no
00:13:47I've had this thing for like eight years
00:13:49Okay
00:13:50And that's what makes it perfect
00:13:52It's got your human juice memories all over it
00:14:00Leave it
00:14:06Alright well the aliens better appreciate the fuck out of that
00:14:09That thing's been the staple of my wardrobe since like high school
00:14:12Hey
00:14:14We're here to leave our old selves behind
00:14:18We're here to find who the new us is
00:14:21The new Parker
00:14:22Okay well will you let me know when you figure that out?
00:14:25Probably not
00:14:31What?
00:14:33You look so pretty
00:14:34Can you help?
00:14:37Yeah
00:14:48I'm nervous
00:14:50Why?
00:14:51I feel like your dad hates me now
00:14:55What?
00:14:55He's always liked you
00:14:56He's like
00:14:58The only family you have
00:14:59And I just wanna know how much I love you
00:15:02Can you trust I can make good decisions?
00:15:06But I broke your alarm
00:15:24Alright, today's the day
00:15:25So do we have anything else on the agenda other than Nashville?
00:15:30No, just wherever we end up
00:15:33What is it without Nashville anyway?
00:15:36I don't know, my parents always said that we would take a family trip there and we just never went
00:15:40So, and it kinda stuck with me
00:15:42Why?
00:15:44We always went on a cruise or to Disney World
00:15:47I don't know, I guess it was just never really important to them to go to Nashville
00:15:50But it was to you?
00:15:52Yeah, I always thought of it kinda like a magical place, you know?
00:15:56But in a cool, rustic, cowboy way
00:15:58Plus I always wanted to get one of those cute little guitar keychains
00:16:02Hmm
00:16:03My parents just always shit me off to my grandparents
00:16:06And they lived in a really tiny town
00:16:08So I mean, it was an adventure in its own
00:16:10You know, just with a lot of cornfields and, you know, fast food restaurants
00:16:15See, but I wish I had that
00:16:18You wish you never went on a cruise?
00:16:20No, not like that
00:16:21I mean, like, I wish my parents cared more about what I wanted
00:16:29You know, can I put this nicely?
00:16:30Dear God
00:16:33You, my friend, need a reality check
00:16:36What do you mean?
00:16:39So, why did you break up with Ellie?
00:16:41Again?
00:16:43Like in high school?
00:16:44Yeah
00:16:46I didn't know what I wanted
00:16:48But now, all of a sudden, you know what you want?
00:16:53I mean, so let me get this straight
00:16:57You broke up with her because you didn't want to be with her
00:16:59But then you did want to be with her
00:17:01Then two years later, when she got upset
00:17:03Because you didn't treat her the way you said you were going to treat her
00:17:07Now, all of a sudden, you went back
00:17:10You know it's not so cut and dry
00:17:13I'm just playing devil's advocate
00:17:14I was 17
00:17:16I thought I needed to drink all the time and smoke weed
00:17:19And just create this, like, tornado of emotion just to feel something, you know?
00:17:24There it is, the contradiction
00:17:26The contradiction
00:17:28You love to sabotage yourself
00:17:30You have to have the main character energy
00:17:32And you have to have all the problems
00:17:34That's not true
00:17:36No, that's kind of true
00:17:38She's important to me, Fern
00:17:40I know she is
00:17:42If there's ever a chance in hell that you were going to get her back
00:17:46You've got to have better coping mechanisms, you've got to learn, you've got to grow
00:17:51They're not going to be good for her unless they're good for you
00:17:55No, no
00:17:58You want another drink?
00:18:00I think I'm okay
00:18:01Okay
00:18:09No, no
00:18:27You think you like me?
00:18:29No, no, no
00:18:30It's hard. He's never not liked Peter, right?
00:18:35I wouldn't like me, if ever.
00:18:43Why do you do that?
00:18:45Do what?
00:18:47Why do you need other people's validation?
00:18:51He's your dad, Ellie.
00:18:55But I love you. Can that not be enough?
00:19:02I can't even forgive yourself.
00:19:10Because I always...
00:19:15...hook a good job.
00:19:32...
00:19:35...
00:20:00...
00:20:16I'll take my shoes.
00:20:40I'm gonna puke.
00:20:47Are you ready for it?
00:20:51Why do I feel like I'm about to have a pulmonary embolism?
00:20:54You know, that is how I felt the first time I ever saw Brad Velvet's music video for Psycho.
00:21:02I'd make a bar near my wife and we'd rob this whole town.
00:21:08Maybe take all that money, get a boat and sail down, down where the blue, blue waters flow.
00:21:20Yes, this is a place I would go.
00:21:24We might get ourselves lost.
00:21:29We may never be found.
00:21:33If ever that day comes around.
00:21:46Dude, that sucked.
00:21:49I wasn't gonna say anything unless you did.
00:21:51I don't know why I thought a city full of drunken tourists, vomit filled streets and cheapo guitar souvenirs would
00:21:59be so life altering.
00:22:03It's almost like you build things up in your head to be bigger than they actually are.
00:22:09You have all these unrealistic expectations.
00:22:11I don't need a lecture.
00:22:18I just think life is about the little things.
00:22:22The stuff you didn't plan.
00:22:23Yeah.
00:22:25No, you're right.
00:22:28I like these fries.
00:22:30I'm gonna remember these fries for the rest of my life.
00:22:39I have an idea.
00:22:42Okay.
00:22:42Follow me.
00:23:03Break into the pool.
00:23:05What?
00:23:06For the bucket list.
00:23:08I wanna break into the pool at night.
00:23:13Okay.
00:23:23Cool.
00:23:25We should get started.
00:23:26Now.
00:23:28You know it still hurts a little bit, but not that much.
00:23:33Cause if you want somebody else, who am I to judge?
00:23:38I've been thinking about you all the time, but that's alright.
00:23:43I'm starting to get used to it.
00:23:45I think I'll survive.
00:23:47I met you in the summer.
00:23:50When you left it was posed.
00:23:52Said we loved one another.
00:23:55Guess that we're wrong.
00:23:57I met you in the summer.
00:23:59My love was out of control.
00:24:02I've been going crazy without you.
00:24:05I'm so alone.
00:24:07I met you in the...
00:24:16I met you in the...
00:24:19I met you in the...
00:24:20We outta the pool.
00:24:28It's kinda quiet in my room right now without you.
00:24:33And I couldn't really make you stay, so what to do?
00:24:38I'm just staring at my walls and talking to myself
00:24:41Now and then I'll try to laugh but I'll cry a bit as well
00:24:43I was never any good at being away from you
00:24:47I met you in the summer
00:24:49When you left it was cold
00:24:52Said we loved one another
00:24:54Guess that we were wrong
00:24:56I met you in the summer
00:24:59Our love was out of control
00:25:02I've been going crazy without you
00:25:05I'm so alone
00:25:06I met you in the summer
00:25:16I met you in the summer
00:25:38You know it still hurts a little bit but not that much
00:25:43Cause if you want somebody else who am I to judge
00:26:09Time to shut it down
00:26:11Time to shut it down
00:26:12Shut it down
00:26:13Shut it down
00:26:14Shut it down
00:26:14Shut it down
00:26:16Shut it down
00:26:33Shut it down
00:26:37Not that much
00:26:37I'm scared
00:26:37I'm scared
00:26:37I'm out of control
00:27:05I love it when you play.
00:27:09I know.
00:27:12So where did you learn how to play?
00:27:15My dad, actually.
00:27:17Yeah, he taught me.
00:27:19But he only learned to impress my mom.
00:27:22Really?
00:27:22Mm-hmm.
00:27:23Tell me.
00:27:24How many of you know?
00:27:25There's a lot you don't know about me.
00:27:26Oh, yeah?
00:27:28Yeah.
00:27:28Tell me one thing I don't know about you.
00:27:30Oh, God.
00:27:31Um, okay, when I was a kid and I would catch fireflies, I would make wishes on them.
00:27:44Right?
00:27:45Mm-hmm.
00:27:45That's probably the cutest thing I've ever heard.
00:27:48Um, I mean, that was one good thing about my mom.
00:27:53I feel like she always had her head in the clouds and believed that life was, like, made of magic.
00:28:01It's actually really instilled that in me.
00:28:04Yeah, but that does kind of sound like you.
00:28:07Oh, I mean, yeah, I kind of hate it, though, because she was always wanting to live this, like, bigger
00:28:13-than-life reality.
00:28:16And one day she just decided that me and my dad were not part of that dream anymore.
00:28:23It wasn't enough, so.
00:28:26I mean, you were just a kid.
00:28:30I don't think it's that it had anything to do with you not being enough.
00:28:36Plus, your heart is nothing like hers, anyways.
00:28:42I just don't want to hurt someone the way she hurt me, though.
00:28:50Plus, I feel like a five-year-old wanting to play pretend all the time is probably a lot to
00:28:56handle.
00:29:11Plus, you know what, I don't think she's even wanting kids anyway.
00:29:13I don't think she's even more.
00:29:53Where are we going?
00:29:55You'll see.
00:29:58Are you going to kill me?
00:30:00Ellie, you're not supposed to know.
00:30:02Be quiet.
00:30:04Are you choosing a way by knife or another weapon?
00:30:07What would be more Villanelle of me?
00:30:10I don't know. She'd probably have some really elaborate scheme and then corner me in an alleyway and parents or
00:30:15something.
00:30:16Mine would be better.
00:30:30This is sweet.
00:30:33You're sweet.
00:30:58Oh, so my friend Mikayla is coming in from out of town next weekend and there's this party that I
00:31:02think we're going to go to.
00:31:06I thought we went out last weekend.
00:31:08I know, but I want to go like out, out.
00:31:12Just going out with me, just like knock out?
00:31:15You know I don't mean it like that.
00:31:19I guess I'll just stay home alone again.
00:31:22You know I don't mean it like that.
00:31:53What happened?
00:31:54Well, I'm glad you asked.
00:31:56There I am in the woods, trying to take a fat piss, and a fly goes right in my face.
00:32:04That's not the best part.
00:32:06Because I didn't see it.
00:32:07I fell right back into my piss.
00:32:11It's not funny.
00:32:13It's kind of funny.
00:32:13Kind of not funny.
00:32:14It's kind of very funny.
00:32:17Get in the car.
00:32:18Get in the car.
00:32:19We're going.
00:32:19We're going.
00:32:44All right.
00:32:45What?
00:32:46What?
00:32:49I got you something.
00:32:52What is that for?
00:32:56Just because?
00:33:12Ellie, I'm sorry.
00:33:15You're doing it.
00:33:17Doing what?
00:33:18You're pulling away.
00:33:21Ellie.
00:33:23No.
00:33:24It's not like that.
00:33:25You know, you promised me on New Year's that you wouldn't do this because of some confusion
00:33:30you have about yourself and what you want.
00:33:34Ellie, we just went on a picnic and to dinner with your dad.
00:33:42What, am I not allowed to have a few drinks after work?
00:33:46Leave the house?
00:33:47Am I not allowed to?
00:33:50No, you can leave the house.
00:33:52But when you came back to me, we promised that our relationship would not be like this
00:33:58anymore.
00:34:00That's not what's happening.
00:34:02Then what is happening?
00:34:04I don't know.
00:34:07I don't know.
00:34:08You never do.
00:34:10But I don't, I don't know, I don't want to know what living in a world without you is
00:34:15like.
00:34:16And I feel like I'm hurting you.
00:34:20And stop falling away.
00:34:23It hurts me when you do that.
00:34:25We're happy with you.
00:34:27We're good.
00:34:28Yeah, we're good.
00:34:29We're good.
00:34:35We're good.
00:35:20Can I get a cap?
00:35:24For the sixth time?
00:35:26No.
00:35:28Because they stink.
00:35:30They're stinky.
00:35:32You want to clean the litter box?
00:35:36Hold on.
00:35:37Oh my god.
00:35:37Hold on.
00:35:38I'm so late.
00:35:38Oh, that's probably Rachel.
00:35:45It's my mom.
00:35:51You sure this is a good idea?
00:35:54Don't be a fucking pussy.
00:35:55I'm not a fucking pussy.
00:35:58I'm gonna get caught.
00:36:01I'm not a fucking pussy.
00:36:06I'm not a fucking pussy.
00:36:22I'm not a fucking pussy.
00:36:36What are we going to do now?
00:36:38We're already in our bathing suits.
00:36:40Want to go to the beach?
00:36:43What beach?
00:36:46Pinsicola?
00:36:47Yeah.
00:36:48I guess, yeah.
00:36:50Okay.
00:36:50Okay.
00:36:51Okay.
00:36:52Okay.
00:36:52Okay.
00:36:53Okay.
00:36:54I feel.
00:36:59I feel.
00:37:03I feel.
00:37:05I feel.
00:37:06I feel.
00:37:07Without my love for the ocean.
00:37:12I will be long gone by now.
00:37:18It's some kind of devotion
00:37:22That brings me down
00:37:29That without my love for the ocean
00:37:35I will be no one
00:37:40No one
00:37:43No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:38:13I got there and he was gone
00:38:18I am so sorry
00:38:23My mom was there and she was acting like it was the end of her world
00:38:28Like she never left
00:38:29Like she even cared
00:38:31Ever
00:38:36I know
00:38:37It's so complex
00:38:40She didn't
00:38:42She didn't deserve to see him
00:38:44At all
00:38:45I deserve to see him
00:38:47Elle
00:38:47Don't tell me
00:38:49She's your mom
00:38:51I don't care
00:38:55Elle
00:38:58What can I do
00:39:01Nothing
00:39:03Oh
00:39:06He's my dad
00:39:08He was the only one that was ever there for me
00:39:10He was the only one who never left
00:39:14I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to even do now
00:39:18I'm sorry
00:39:21Don't be
00:39:23Okay, but like
00:39:24I'm here
00:39:27Whatever you need
00:39:34Are you?
00:39:38What does that even mean?
00:39:39No
00:39:40I'm sorry Parker
00:39:41I just
00:39:42I just don't know how to process it
00:39:47I get it
00:39:50Nobody should be projecting that onto you
00:39:52I shouldn't be doing that
00:39:53I'm sorry
00:39:55I kind of deserve it
00:39:57No you don't
00:39:58Ellie
00:40:01Let's be honest
00:40:02I'm not the most
00:40:05Reliable
00:40:07Person
00:40:08That's in your life
00:40:10I feel like
00:40:11I wreak havoc
00:40:14On you
00:40:15Your life
00:40:18Your stability
00:40:21I feel like I leave you constantly
00:40:23Wondering
00:40:24When the next time
00:40:25I'm gonna have a
00:40:26Big breakdown
00:40:36This isn't about me
00:40:38This is about you
00:40:42You just lost your dad
00:40:48I just can't believe he's gone
00:40:56You were so good last time
00:40:58This time
00:40:59You were so good last time
00:41:00You were so good last time
00:41:21You were so good last time
00:41:24You were so good last time
00:41:25We'll be back soon
00:41:26I don't know
00:41:27But I still miss her
00:41:30Yeah I feel like
00:41:35Who do you miss?
00:41:37Your mom
00:41:40Yeah I bet you do miss my mom
00:41:42No really I do
00:41:45You know
00:41:46Reiterate
00:41:46Let's just go back
00:41:47Why are we here again?
00:41:50Like
00:41:50On the trip?
00:41:52Yeah
00:41:53Yeah
00:41:54On this trip
00:41:56Because
00:41:58We wanted to
00:41:59Do something exciting
00:42:02Get away
00:42:03Something to distract ourselves
00:42:06From this mundane capitalist
00:42:10From this mundane capitalist
00:42:20I'm trying to get over Ellie
00:42:23Thing thing thing thing
00:42:24We have a winner
00:42:27One more minute please
00:42:32Blind as a bat
00:42:33Alright
00:42:34So I'm going to role play
00:42:36As your therapist
00:42:37Gigi
00:42:38Not to be confused
00:42:39Gigi from the L word
00:42:40Bet in Gigi forever
00:42:42So first question
00:42:44Why do you think
00:42:45It is so hard
00:42:47For you
00:42:48To let go?
00:42:49What keeps you holding on?
00:42:53She's the love of my life
00:42:57And why do you think that?
00:42:59Because I always go back to her
00:43:02I mean
00:43:03Time and time again
00:43:09Do you not think
00:43:11That maybe
00:43:12You're just
00:43:13Comfortable
00:43:14In the environment
00:43:15You created with her?
00:43:16Like
00:43:16Do you really think
00:43:18That like
00:43:18Out of 7 billion people
00:43:20In this whole world
00:43:21There's not
00:43:22One other person
00:43:23That you might love?
00:43:26Not like Ellie
00:43:30A rollercoaster of emotion
00:43:33Is not love
00:43:36It was love
00:43:39The purest love
00:43:41I think I've ever experienced
00:43:44Well
00:43:46Sometimes love
00:43:48Isn't enough then
00:43:49Not to be healthy at least
00:43:51Why can't I just make it
00:43:53Fucking work?
00:43:54Like
00:43:54I feel like Taylor Swift
00:43:56I miss screaming
00:43:57Fighting
00:43:58Kissing in the rain
00:43:59I don't want to be
00:44:01Boring and comfortable
00:44:03I
00:44:04Understand
00:44:05That it must be
00:44:07Really hard
00:44:08To
00:44:09Even think
00:44:10And fathom
00:44:11That there might
00:44:12Just
00:44:12Be a life
00:44:14After Ellie
00:44:15But
00:44:16Life is bendable
00:44:18It's changeable
00:44:19Like
00:44:19You
00:44:20We are meant to heal
00:44:22You could
00:44:23Finally love someone
00:44:25The way
00:44:26That you deserve to
00:44:31I just wanted it
00:44:33To be her
00:44:35I know
00:44:35It's her
00:44:38She's my person
00:44:41I hope you're right
00:44:47Okay so
00:44:48Missy just called me
00:44:50And I need to get
00:44:51To the theater
00:44:51Home
00:44:51Because she doesn't
00:44:53Fucking know how to do
00:44:54Anything
00:44:54So
00:44:56I have to get ready
00:44:57When I get there
00:44:58So can you just
00:44:59Like
00:44:59Can you just
00:45:00Meet me there
00:45:01Yeah
00:45:01Come on
00:45:03I love you
00:45:05Mmm
00:45:27Wow
00:45:28I love it
00:45:29When Ellie drinks
00:45:30All my oat milk
00:46:00They turn our homes
00:46:01Into ashes
00:46:02We fled out the back door
00:46:05We ran towards the city
00:46:07Fuck
00:46:17Hello?
00:46:19Ellie?
00:46:20Yeah what's wrong?
00:46:21My fucking tire popped
00:46:23I had to pull off the side
00:46:24Of the freeway
00:46:25Into some random parking lot
00:46:27What do you mean?
00:46:29I mean it's completely deflated
00:46:33You had to go get milk?
00:46:35Yeah I just needed
00:46:36The distraction
00:46:38Have you called a tow truck?
00:46:41I can call one
00:46:42But odds are
00:46:42It'll probably take a few hours
00:46:45The funeral's in an hour
00:46:46Parker
00:46:46I know
00:46:47I could try calling Fern
00:46:48See if he can come
00:46:49Just get here
00:46:54Son of a bitch
00:47:08Ellie I am so sorry
00:47:10I went to the sorority
00:47:11And Mel for the coffee
00:47:12And then I was gonna go
00:47:13Straight to the funeral home
00:47:14But then my tower popped
00:47:15And I called the tow truck company
00:47:16But they said
00:47:17That they couldn't be there
00:47:18Until 1.30
00:47:19And I didn't know
00:47:20What else to do
00:47:22I didn't do it on purpose
00:47:26You missed my dad's
00:47:28Do you know what?
00:47:30I know
00:47:31And I'm so sorry
00:47:33But it's not my fault
00:47:37Why didn't you think
00:47:38To just stay home?
00:47:40Okay
00:47:43Do you ever think
00:47:44About what's going on
00:47:46Around you?
00:47:48Ellie
00:47:48This isn't your fucking world
00:47:51Parker
00:47:51Do you ever think
00:47:53Hey maybe I should just
00:47:54Stay home
00:47:54Because Ellie's dad
00:47:56Just died
00:47:57My tire would have
00:47:58Popped on the way
00:47:58To the funeral anyways
00:48:00That's very convenient
00:48:01Oh do not pin this on me
00:48:04I wanted to be there for you
00:48:06Then you're a lot of talk
00:48:07What the fuck
00:48:08Is your problem?
00:48:10My problem?
00:48:12Parker you need to figure out
00:48:14If I am good enough for you
00:48:15If you ever care
00:48:17To give me a scrap of attention
00:48:18All I do
00:48:20Is give you my attention
00:48:23All you do
00:48:24Is worry about Parker
00:48:29Or just like her
00:48:30Oh fuck that Ellie
00:48:32Would your mom do this?
00:48:44What is that?
00:48:46It's a stupid scrapbook
00:48:48That I made for our
00:48:49One year anniversary
00:48:50After getting back together
00:48:51But it doesn't even
00:48:52Fucking matter anymore
00:48:53Now it does it
00:48:54Because I'm so
00:48:55Unpredictable
00:48:55Just like your mom
00:48:59No
00:49:00No actually
00:49:01You're really predictable
00:49:03We always end
00:49:05Because you always live
00:49:10Ellie
00:49:14Ellie
00:49:20Don't go
00:49:20I have to
00:49:22I'm going to
00:49:24Go to my dad's beach house
00:49:26You can't leave me like this
00:49:29You always left me like this Parker
00:49:33You're the love of my life
00:49:37This isn't about us anymore
00:49:40I need to find me
00:49:42I need to find who Ellie is again
00:49:44It's not you
00:49:45It's me
00:49:45Right?
00:49:46It's you too
00:49:47You desperately need to grow
00:49:50And find who you want to be
00:49:52And who Parker is
00:49:53I don't think there can be
00:49:55An us anymore
00:49:57I don't want to be here
00:49:58Without you
00:50:00I can't ruin myself
00:50:02For you anymore
00:50:04And you can't either
00:50:12I don't want you to go
00:50:15I know
00:50:15I don't want you to go
00:50:36Fern!
00:50:40Fern!
00:50:43Yeah, you can be there by seven
00:50:44I mean, you know it's going to be late anyways.
00:50:46I mean, that's how it usually goes.
00:50:49Yeah.
00:50:53Parker just woke up.
00:50:55Hey, I'll see you when I see you.
00:50:57Okay. Love you. Bye.
00:51:01Hey. What are you doing?
00:51:06Rachel's going to pick me up from the airport.
00:51:08What? Why? Something wrong?
00:51:13Nothing.
00:51:14I'm just not stupid.
00:51:16I'm confused.
00:51:19Why are we in Pensacola?
00:51:22Because we wanted to go to the beach.
00:51:27Why are we in Pensacola, Parker?
00:51:34Look, Fern, I was going to tell you.
00:51:36Yeah, I know where Ellie lives.
00:51:39I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you are just the same old Parker.
00:51:48Those, those weren't my intentions.
00:51:52So you didn't mean to take me on a trip that I thought was us bonding and having all these
00:52:00crazy, awesome life experiences together only so that you can just weasel your way in to go see Ellie.
00:52:07That's not what happened.
00:52:14Well, I'm glad I could be a pawn in your game. So, cool.
00:52:18I mean, I wanted to see Ellie, but it became something more along the way. Halfway through I even forgot
00:52:29why I started the trip.
00:52:32Parker, you are my best friend.
00:52:35Parker, you are my best friend. But for the love of God, you are so manipulative. Anything you want, you
00:52:42get.
00:52:44Come on. Don't ruin the trip.
00:52:49You already ruined it.
00:52:51I'm sorry. I needed to see her. I needed to win her back.
00:52:57You are so worried about making sure everybody loves you that you end up treating the people who actually do
00:53:06love you like shit.
00:53:10I'm just confused, Fern. I can't do anything right.
00:53:15No one said you had to have it all figured out. But you just dragged everyone into your shit.
00:53:22You know what? You can call me when you've decided to be the Parker that I know you are.
00:53:30I won't be waiting for the call though.
00:54:01But you're welcome.
00:54:22Hi, Park.
00:54:23Hi.
00:54:31So, how are you?
00:54:33What are you doing in Pensacola?
00:54:35Oh, I'm good.
00:54:37Um, I was just passing through the area, figured I'd shoot you a message.
00:54:41I remember that you said that you were going to your dad's beach house in Pensacola, so
00:54:46I thought it was worth a shot.
00:54:49Oh, yeah.
00:54:50I mean, moving here is probably one of the best decisions I've made in a long time.
00:54:54I can imagine.
00:54:56Probably much better than home.
00:54:59I was home.
00:55:00Uh, humid.
00:55:01Kinda boring.
00:55:02The usual.
00:55:04I miss it a little.
00:55:07Yeah.
00:55:08Well, you know, if you're ever in town, you can-
00:55:10You can stay with me.
00:55:13Thanks, Park.
00:55:14Yeah.
00:55:16It's probably not a good idea, but I appreciate the offer.
00:55:20Yeah, I mean, I just, I figured I'd at least offer-
00:55:24How's Fern?
00:55:25She's good.
00:55:27Um, yeah, she's good.
00:55:29Rachel?
00:55:29She's good, too.
00:55:31Uh, they actually just got engaged and then bought a house, but I'm sure you already knew
00:55:35about all that.
00:55:36I do still talk to Rachel sometimes.
00:55:39That's good.
00:55:40You guys ever talk about me?
00:55:42No, definitely not.
00:55:44Oh.
00:55:46Well, I mean, that's good.
00:55:48Our ending shouldn't mean, you know, an ending for you guys, too.
00:55:51It doesn't.
00:55:56So, there's this music shop I saw, um, over off of the pier.
00:56:00I figured if you don't have any plans later, maybe we could swing by.
00:56:05Um, I, I'm getting dinner with my friends tonight, actually.
00:56:10Well, I mean, that's okay.
00:56:12It was last minute anyways, but where are you guys going?
00:56:15Just this little Italian restaurant downtown.
00:56:17We, we go, like, every Friday, so...
00:56:28Why am I here?
00:56:33I just, I needed to see you.
00:56:38It's, it's been years.
00:56:40What do you need to see me for?
00:56:42I just still don't understand why things ended, you know?
00:56:45Like, you're my person.
00:56:47And I can't, I just can't stop thinking about the night you left.
00:56:53I'm not your person, Park.
00:56:56Not anymore, at least.
00:56:58But you, you said it yourself.
00:57:00We're soulmates.
00:57:02You said soulmates have to be forever, Park.
00:57:05Because then what's the point?
00:57:07The point is that we taught each other lessons and how to love and treat someone with dignity
00:57:13and live up to your words, you know?
00:57:17I just, I know you're the person I'm going to end up with.
00:57:27Maybe in another universe we were together forever, but I just don't think we're living in my universe anymore.
00:57:38Why is it so hard for me to get over you, but for you it's so easy?
00:57:43It wasn't easy.
00:57:45It wasn't easy.
00:57:45I spent months mourning you and I and the person I was when I was with you.
00:57:52And trying to figure out how I was going to live life without you in it.
00:57:57And I lost my best friend.
00:58:00And, you know, part of me hoped that we would cross paths again and just fall into each other's arms
00:58:06and everything would be like it used to, but that's just not life.
00:58:11Who said?
00:58:13Parker.
00:58:13Parker.
00:58:15Parker.
00:58:15Why can't we just have, like, a fairytale ending where we always end up together?
00:58:20Because this isn't a movie, you know?
00:58:22We're real people, this is real life, and I just don't think we can exist together without hurting each other
00:58:30over and over and over again.
00:58:34God, I must sound insane.
00:58:37No.
00:58:38I just don't think you take it well when things don't go your way.
00:58:47I love you.
00:58:52I think I should go.
00:58:54I'm sorry.
00:58:57No, it's fine.
00:58:58I just, you know, I wish you the best, Parker.
00:59:01I always do.
00:59:11Parker.
00:59:12I'm sorry.
00:59:14Please, don't leave.
00:59:16Parker, it's time to move on.
00:59:19You have a whole life ahead of you that does not involve you.
00:59:23A life that's beautiful and flawless.
00:59:27You and I were a mess of names, and I cherish all of them.
00:59:34You will always be one of my favorite lives, okay?
00:59:45You will always be one of my favorite lives, okay?
00:59:47I'm sorry, it doesn't change anything.
00:59:48no, no, no.
00:59:52Let me see you in the next video.
00:59:52Whatever makes you chapter before you get on the other end.
00:59:53Yeah.
01:00:17Little night and even my friends!
01:00:33This is for you.
01:01:02This is for you.
01:01:28This is for you.
01:02:17This is for you.
01:02:28This is for you.
01:03:02This is for you.
01:03:29This is for you.
01:03:58This is for you.
01:04:22This is for you.