00:06Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:00Well, why don't you get on one of those dating apps and see if there's anyone around?
01:03I've tried it before, but I just find it hard to talk to women in that sort of way.
01:07I don't know how to manoeuvre the conversation and think of the right things to say like you do.
01:12Probably because I've never had a girlfriend of my own.
01:15I tell you what, why don't we phone in sick tonight and get out on the town?
01:19Get you out on the pull. I could do with a pint as well.
01:21You mean it?
01:22Aye, go on. I'll be your wingman.
01:24Oh, thanks Nick. I'm going to go find something to wear.
01:28We're going to have all the fun in the world.
01:57Here you are, jab boy. Get on that.
01:59Oh, thanks Nick.
02:01Oh, I'd like to hurt you.
02:02Er, I don't know.
02:04Why didn't you go and say hello, and she's not going to bite your head off, is she?
02:07Hey, look Nick. There's some advice on the back of this bottle here.
02:09Out on the pull and chatting up some birds.
02:12Try this line on her.
02:14Was your father a baker?
02:15Because you're a cootie pie.
02:17What if I say that to her, Nick?
02:18Oh, no, don't say it, I'm in.
02:20Just go over there and say hello, be yourself.
02:22You got nothing to lose.
02:24OK.
02:26Erm, hello.
02:28Er, my name is Jub.
02:30All right, I'm Astrid.
02:32Erm, do you like the song playing?
02:34I've heard this on the radio before.
02:36Yeah, me too.
02:39Er, er, erm, er...
02:42Oh, er, did your father used to be a baker?
02:44No, my father died when I was 11 years old at Christmastime.
02:49He was on a stepladder, blue tack, and a tinsel star I made in school to the ceiling.
02:53He slipped off and broke his neck.
02:54The skin broke and his spine was sticking out of the wound.
02:57All I can remember was screaming in agony before he finally died.
03:01I felt nothing but guilt over it,
03:02and not even years of counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy has helped me shake it.
03:09Because you're a cootie pie.
03:13Oh, delivery driver's here.
03:15I love a man who works with his hands.
03:18Oh, erm, yeah.
03:19Hands are really useful.
03:23Oh, this is going great.
03:24Yeah, you're doing well, Bert.
03:25Ooh, ooh, ooh.
03:26I tell you what,
03:27why don't you try and guess my age?
03:30Go on, have a guess.
03:31Oh, I don't know.
03:32A woman like you can't be a day over 21.
03:34Oh, you're a charmer, innit?
03:36What about you, Jeb?
03:38How old do you think I am?
03:41I'd say you are 39.
03:44How dare you say my actual age?
03:48Ew monster!
03:52Is there something wrong with you?
03:54Oh, come on, babe.
03:56Let's go for a fart and calm you down.
03:59No, I need to go to the toilet first and cry for hours.
04:04Jeb, what the hell are you doing?
04:06She asked me how old I thought she was.
04:07Yeah, but you don't say the actual age, man.
04:09But you said just to be honest.
04:11Look, Bert, when you're chatting someone up,
04:13there's two types of honesty.
04:15There's being honest,
04:17and then there's that type of being honest,
04:19where you get a drink dunked on your head, man.
04:21Oh, you know what?
04:22This is a minefield, Nick.
04:23I wish we didn't fall in sick from work tonight.
04:25All I've done is worry about how my dad is coping anyway.
04:28Oh, come on now, Jeb.
04:29It's all a learning curve, man.
04:31And don't worry about your dad.
04:32One night without this isn't going to hurt him.
04:34Cook the curry, deliver the curry.
04:36What else am I supposed to do?
04:38Just the curry?
04:40Come in.
04:45Hello there.
04:46I have your curry.
04:50Fuck me!
04:52Now feed me, you pretty little man.
04:55Oh, can you stop by McDonald's on the way, please?
04:58Drive.
05:00The amount of knockbacks I've had coming here, boy.
05:02It's all character building.
05:04Don't let it get you down, man.
05:05I suppose there is some comfort in knowing I'm not the only one who has important night.
05:10Speak for yourself, boy.
05:11I've hit the jackpot.
05:13Come on, then.
05:14We're going to be late for that chem sex party otherwise.
05:17I'm off, bud.
05:18Aye, all right.
05:20Ah, don't worry, man.
05:21It's only your first night of it.
05:23You did all right.
05:23We'll get you someone next time.
05:25Last orders!
05:27I'm going to have one more and go past the chippy on my way home.
05:30All right, I'll see you tomorrow.
05:32Keep your chin up now, boy.
05:35Well, well, well.
05:37Look who it is.
05:39Oh, Miss Port.
05:40How are you?
05:41You want to buy me a drink?
05:43Oh, OK.
05:44What do you want?
05:45Something that'll get me hot.
05:48Er, a glass of pop for me, please, barman.
05:51And a cup of tea for the lady.
05:53Oh, God.
05:55Come here, you beautiful mountain of a man.
05:58Miss Port.
05:59But you only lost your son in a shark attack last week.
06:02And what about your husband?
06:04That's all ancient history now.
06:05I'm a free agent.
06:08Now come here.
06:14Yeah, then one thing led to another.
06:17And after a few drinks, we went back to hers.
06:19Miss Port!
06:20Fuck off!
06:21Look, it was a shame he didn't meet anyone,
06:24but there's no need to make up a whopper like that.
06:26That woman is gorgeous.
06:28He's right, Jeb.
06:29Pretty egregious load of bullshit waft him from by you, boy.
06:32Why would I make it up?
06:33Care this by you, Matt?
06:35Jeb is saying he knocked off Miss Port last night.
06:37What?
06:37That's the only woman I turn for!
06:39She makes me wish I wasn't gay!
06:41Look, bud.
06:42We'll go out again on the weekend.
06:43Make sure you meet someone for real.
06:45Not some dream lady.
06:46You don't need to go around fibbing like Arno.
06:48Not to the boys.
06:49Yoo-hoo!
06:52I was just bringing you packed lunch.
06:54I knew you'd forget.
06:56What's he like?
06:58You need to keep your strength up, big boy.
07:00I'm going to be wearing you out later.
07:02See you later, boys.
07:04Got to get to my Zumba class.
07:06You know what, boys?
07:08I've got a good feeling about this.
07:23Biddle strings of my heart
07:26Chimes the melody of, of, will you stop?
07:31Let's dance, let's dance together
07:33Forget my son was eaten by a shark
07:37I'm with you
07:40And you're with me
07:44It's endless drama for eternity
07:47Stay with me
07:51You can't leave
07:54I need you
07:58My son is dead
08:01The block of screens horrific
08:05Dreams at night
08:06Up on Mr. White
08:09My son is dead
08:11Happy two-day anniversary, babe.
08:13Here.
08:14I got something for you.
08:19Er, I don't think I'm going to fit into this.
08:22Oh, what do you like?
08:24It's for me, you silly sausage.
08:26Tell you what,
08:27why don't I go and try it on for you?
08:29OK.
08:30Pour us another glass of wine
08:32while I'm gone, my little jubbly.
08:40Oh, my God.
08:42Oh, hello.
08:43What are you doing here?
08:44I thought you were staying at your father's.
08:47Oh, my God, ma'am.
08:47I wanted to grab my laptop.
08:49What's going on?
08:50Lambrini, this is your new stepdad.
08:53His name is jub and he is a big part of my life.
08:56And I expect you to treat him just as you would dad.
09:00I'm going upstairs.
09:01Don't be like that, Lambrini.
09:03My brother only died last week.
09:05Yesterday should have been his birthday
09:07and you're on your seventh fella.
09:09Don't you dare talk to me like that, madam.
09:12We have to move on.
09:13I, I am talking to you.
09:16Stop it.
09:16Put your phone down and look at me.
09:19Mum, no.
09:20I paid for this fucking phone.
09:22I'll smash it up if I want.
09:24Here you are.
09:25No telly or laptop either.
09:27I hate you.
09:29I wish that shark had hit you and shot you out.
09:35That's how you do it, baby.
09:37Satanic sex cult zero.
09:39Basil one.
09:41All right, dad?
09:42Ah, jub.
09:43Just the man I was looking for.
09:45I need you to grind up this bag of human teeth as finely as you can.
09:48No, I can't tonight, dad.
09:50I just came in to ask for my wages early
09:52as me and my girlfriend had just bought a new house.
09:54And I need money for us to go to Ikea
09:56and then Habitat
09:57and then get a French bulldog on the way home.
09:59What do you mean, no?
10:01And who is this, this, uh, girlfriend?
10:04Miss Port.
10:04We met the other night.
10:06Miss Port?
10:07How the hell has a gigantic round buffoon like you
10:10managed to procure such a ravishing, comely enchantress like her?
10:14She just walked over and started making me.
10:17I'll go and ask Samita for my money from the till.
10:19Oh, and, uh, I won't be able to come in tomorrow either.
10:22We've got a reservation at Le Croissant, the Italian place,
10:25for our four-day anniversary.
10:27Hmm.
10:28Hmm.
10:29He is expressing fee-will.
10:31Something isn't right here.
10:36And now on Sex Island,
10:39Drake and Axel are having a man-to-man about Sadie.
10:44What do you think, like?
10:45Can I think I've got a...
10:46I've got, like, proper feelings for her?
10:48Yeah, but the thing is,
10:49when we had our die in the lab app,
10:51things got a bit proper serious, you know.
10:54I don't want to sound maggot, you're nothing.
10:56Ah, chumhead!
10:56With me, she says she let her walls down.
10:59Ooh, I like Joey.
10:59I think he's really handsome.
11:02But not as handsome as you, though, babe.
11:05I think it's his teeth.
11:07Don't you think he has nice teeth?
11:09Yeah, he has loads of them.
11:11I reckon you'd look lovely with those, babe.
11:14Oh, don't you like my teeth?
11:16I love your teeth, babe.
11:18You know I adore every aspect about you.
11:21But there's nothing wrong with a bit of a touch-up every now and again.
11:24Even I've had a little smidge of Botox over the years.
11:28Really?
11:28Yeah!
11:29Here you are, look.
11:31This is what I used to look like.
11:33Wow!
11:34Yeah, they do for me as a Rebufeil dentist.
11:37I tell you what, I'll make you an appointment.
11:40Once it's done, you won't regret it.
11:45OK, so these are your new chompers.
11:46They're from our blinding white range.
11:48So what we're going to do is just saw your current teeth down so that we can install them.
11:52Is this going to hurt me?
11:54Oh, absolutely, yes, incredibly so.
11:56OK, just so you know, we won't be using any anaesthetic,
11:59but there is a homeopath on standby.
12:07There's my big boy.
12:10You're going to look great when I'm finished with you.
12:29There's my big boy.
12:30I love your big boy.
12:30A man, a woman's own ave,
12:30a woman's own wife.
12:30And now I want to sext無 health in my heart.
12:30Merci.
