00:00I never had a cup of coffee until a few years ago, and a lot of people think that that's
00:05weird,
00:06but it's because I tasted it when I was younger, and I was like, I don't need this in my
00:09life.
00:09I don't like this. Now, a few years ago, I was hanging out with a friend, and he said,
00:13you look exhausted. Can I get you a cup of coffee? I said, I don't like the taste.
00:18He said, have you ever tried a flavored latte? I said, I don't know what those words just meant.
00:24And he got me one, and let me tell you this, Columbus, that's the best fucking thing I've
00:27ever had. Holy shit, it's so good. Flavored lattes are so good. They're so good. They're
00:32an alarm clock that tastes like a milkshake. How's that possible? I wish I knew about this
00:38earlier, but I got super into flavored lattes, so much so that three weeks later, I had a
00:43latte machine at home, and that is how I know I can never try cocaine. Oh yeah, two months
00:53in, I'd be Pablo Escobar, and that's not the life I want. I don't even know how to take
00:57care of a hippo.
