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00:03Hello. I'm Mr. Red.
00:09A horse is a horse, of course, of course.
00:12And no one can talk to a horse, of course.
00:14That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Red.
00:18Go right to the source and ask the horse.
00:20He'll give you the answer that you endorse.
00:23He's always on a steady course.
00:25Talk to Mr. Red.
00:56Darn that horse.
01:07Mark, it drops five points. I'm glad my money's tied up in hay.
01:14Oh, morning, Wilbur.
01:16Never mind that. I'm tired of you beating me to the morning paper.
01:19I like to read it with my eggs.
01:22I like to read it with my hay.
01:24But when you get finished with the paper, nobody else can look at it.
01:27Say, Wilbur, get a load of this story here at the bottom of the page in the corner.
01:34Little old lady leaves cat $50,000.
01:38Oh, that's silly.
01:40What do you mean, silly?
01:41What's a cat gonna do with $50,000?
01:43Well, he won't have to chase mice in his old age.
01:48That's true.
01:49He could buy himself 40 or 50 cows, have a lifetime supply of milk.
01:53That cat's got security, which is more than I've got.
01:58Well, if it'll make you feel any better, if anything happens to me, Carol will take care of you.
02:03Yeah, suppose she marries a horse hater.
02:06Oh, she will. Carol only marries nice people.
02:09Wilbur.
02:09What?
02:10Am I mentioned in your will?
02:13Now, wait a minute, Ed.
02:14No horse gets better care than you do.
02:17You get the finest hay, the best carrots, and something else.
02:20Last night I went out and I spent $5 on you for these special mineral tablets.
02:24Supposed to be good for your coat.
02:26Well, I'm not worried about my health.
02:28It's your health I'm worried about.
02:30Come on, Ed.
02:31No, thanks.
02:33I'm a horse, not a guinea pig.
02:37If Carol finds out I've wasted $5 on me, she'll kill me.
02:41And then marry that horse hater.
02:43She will not marry a horse hater.
02:52Hi.
02:53Hi.
02:56Ed, I've changed my mind.
02:58I've decided to see a lawyer and get a will drawn up so that you'll be taken care of.
03:02Oh, that's swell.
03:04You planning to leave something for your wife, too?
03:08Well, you feel more secure now?
03:10Yeah.
03:10Maybe I won't be a wealthy cat, but I won't be a starving horse.
03:16Oh, before I go, how about trying one of these mineral pills, huh?
03:20Oh, Wilbur, I don't want that junk.
03:23I hate to waste them, they're so expensive.
03:25Then you eat them.
03:29You know, Carol is right.
03:31I pamper you too much.
03:33Yeah.
03:34Oh, Wilbur.
03:35Yeah?
03:35I don't know how much you plan to leave me, but remember one thing.
03:40What?
03:41That cat got $50,000.
03:52All right, Mr. Post.
03:53Now that we've listed your assets, let's get on with the provisions of your will.
03:57I assume you wish to leave the bulk of your estate to Mrs. Post?
04:01That's right.
04:02I'd also like to provide for the care of Mr. Ed.
04:05Mr. Ed.
04:06Relative?
04:08Uh, no.
04:10Friend.
04:11Well, um, did you read in the paper this morning where this little old lady left her
04:17cat $50,000?
04:18Oh, yes.
04:19You know, someone is sure to contest that, Wil.
04:22Oh?
04:22Anyone that would leave that much money to a dumb animal must be, um, shall we say, um...
04:29Don't you agree?
04:30Huh?
04:30The...
04:31Oh, yes.
04:35Now then, this Mr. Ed, how shall we describe his relationship to you?
04:40Well, you, um, you better just put down there, uh, friend.
04:44Friend.
04:45Hmm?
04:46And, uh, how do you want to provide for him?
04:49Um, uh, food.
04:52I'd like him to have, uh, a lifetime supply of, of, uh, carrots, oats, and barley.
04:58He's a vegetarian?
05:00Fanatically.
05:01I'd also like you, uh, to put a little money aside to keep him in shoes.
05:06I understand.
05:07Shoes, clothing.
05:08Just shoes.
05:10He doesn't wear clothes.
05:12No clothes?
05:14Just a blanket.
05:16Oh, I see.
05:17He's an Indian, eh?
05:18No.
05:19Palomino.
05:27Mr. Ed is a horse?
05:29Yes.
05:31And I...
05:32I know this may sound peculiar, Mr. Deedley, but, uh, there are several other provisions
05:37I'd like included in the will.
05:38Yes, Mr. Poes?
05:40Well, first, his TV set must be kept in good working order.
05:47Your horse has his own TV set?
05:49Well, my wife won't let him in the house to watch with us.
05:53She won't?
05:54You can't blame her.
05:57The horse doesn't belong inside a house.
06:00Of course not.
06:02He's much happier where he is.
06:04In my office.
06:09Your office?
06:10Well, it's, uh, it's really a corner of the barn that I converted.
06:14I see.
06:17Will there be, uh, anything else, Mr. Poes?
06:21No.
06:23Well, I think I have all the necessary information.
06:25Now you'll just have Mrs. Poes come down here.
06:28Oh, no, no.
06:28I don't want my wife to know anything about this.
06:31You see, she feels that I'm overly attached to my horse.
06:36What if I gave her that idea?
06:40You know women.
06:42Yes.
06:44Well, now, before my secretary types this up, let's just review these notes.
06:50I will propose being of sound mind.
06:56And not being actuated by any duress, menace, fraud, undue influence.
07:10Well, Ed, it's all finished.
07:12I just made out my will.
07:13Good.
07:14Who'd you name as Exeggutor?
07:17Exeggutor?
07:17You know, the one who hands out the loot.
07:20Oh, Addison.
07:21Oh, Wilbur.
07:23He hates me.
07:24That's like cutting me off without one red carrot.
07:27Wait a minute, Ed.
07:29You may not like Roger, but when the chips are down, he's a perfectly gentle and honest man.
07:34Yeah.
07:35Name me one animal lover who had a mustache.
07:39Theodore Roosevelt.
07:40Please.
07:41He was cruel to horses.
07:43Theodore Roosevelt?
07:45Well, sure.
07:46Why do you think they called him a rough rider?
07:48Will you stop worrying?
07:50I tell you, Roger Addison is a perfectly honest man.
07:53You'll get all the food that's coming to you.
07:55Yeah, with him dishing out my hay, I'd hire a food taster.
07:59What do you want me to do?
08:01Call the lawyer.
08:02Tell him when you named Addison it was temporary insanity.
08:06And tell me, who do you want as executive?
08:08Well, I know somebody who's fair, honest, and completely trustworthy.
08:13Yeah, who?
08:14Me.
08:14Me.
08:15You.
08:17Sleep hard.
08:27Please, Mr. Sweeney, my husband's home today.
08:30Mr. Sweeney?
08:32Oh, Wilbur!
08:34I thought it was the milkman.
08:40Still think it's the milkman?
08:42No.
08:44That was more like the butcher.
08:46Here you, Jezebel.
08:51Why all this sudden affection?
08:53Well, honey, I've been thinking, if something should happen to me and you should marry again, what sort of man
09:01would you marry?
09:02Hmm, someone like you. Tall, dark, sophisticated, with a French accent.
09:07I'm serious, Carol.
09:09Wilbur, what brought all this on?
09:11Well, I mean, we gotta be realistic. You know, a man's got to provide for his loved ones.
09:16Oh, Wilbur, really?
09:18Well, I mean, I've been thinking, if something should happen to me, who would take care of Mr. Ed?
09:26Ed? You mean who would take care of me?
09:28Well, Ed and you. You and Ed.
09:31What I mean is, if something should happen to me, would you take care of Ed? That's what I mean.
09:37Are you alright?
09:38Oh, I'm fine.
09:39Just promise me one thing.
09:41You won't marry a horse hater.
09:44I'm glad I promise.
09:47Well, let's have breakfast.
09:52Oh, hi, honey. Where have you been all morning?
09:55Oh, out on business.
10:01Wow. It's time for Ed's lunch.
10:05Carol, how about you feeding him?
10:08Me?
10:09Yeah, well, I think you ought to get used to feeding him.
10:11Why?
10:11Well, that way, you can both get to know each other better.
10:15Oh, Wilbur, please.
10:18I'm too busy to feed Mr. Ed.
10:21I wish you'd take an interest in him, Carol.
10:23You could give him love, security.
10:26Alright, get me some steel wool and I'll knit him a pair of horseshoes.
10:30Don't joke about it, Carol.
10:32Ed needs you.
10:33Why, if something ever happened to me, you can get married.
10:37Ed couldn't.
10:48Have you got your clothes ready yet, Carol?
10:50My little doll is gonna drive us down to the cleaners.
10:53Oh, thanks, Rog.
10:54It's only fair.
10:55She's been taking me to the cleaners for years.
10:57Oh, Roger.
10:58Can I help you with those?
10:59Oh, thank you.
11:00Where's Wilbur? I haven't seen him all morning.
11:02He's feeding Ed.
11:03Roger, I'm worried about him.
11:06Why? Is anything wrong?
11:07Well, I don't know.
11:08Roger, you're his best friend.
11:10Is he alright?
11:11Of course.
11:12Physically, he's fine.
11:14Of course, mentally, that's a different story.
11:15Oh, stop being such a clown.
11:17Can't you see she's worried?
11:18Believe me, my dear, you have nothing to worry about.
11:19I'm sure that Wilbur is in perfect health.
11:22I guess I'm worrying about nothing.
11:26Actually...
11:31What's this?
11:33My goodness.
11:35Look at the size of that pill.
11:36I've seen smaller bowling balls.
11:39Wilbur's never taken a pill in his life.
11:42Why has he been hiding this from me?
11:45Oh, they're probably just vitamin pills.
11:47Has he complained about feeling sick lately?
11:50No, on the contrary.
11:51Last night, he took me dancing and then for a moonlight ride on the beach.
11:55Oh, he hasn't been so romantic since our honeymoon.
12:02Come on, doll.
12:03Open up for mommy.
12:05Oh, come on now, Kay.
12:06Cut that out.
12:07Well, there goes my moonlight ride.
12:10Don't look so grim, Carol.
12:12As Kay says, I'm sure these are only vitamin pills.
12:14Well, of course, sweetie.
12:15If there was anything wrong with Wilbur, you'd know it.
12:18Oh, that's right.
12:20If it hadn't been for you two, I'd be a nervous wreck.
12:23As long as your mind is at ease, my dear.
12:25Oh, excuse me.
12:31Hello?
12:32Hello.
12:33Is Mr. Post in?
12:34No, this is Mrs. Post.
12:36Is there any message?
12:36Yes, please.
12:38I'm calling for your husband's attorney.
12:40Mr. Deedley left town and he asked me to inform Mr. Post that his will would be ready for notarization
12:45this Monday.
12:57What's the matter, honey?
13:00Wilbur made out a will without telling me.
13:04Oh, now there you go again, Carol.
13:07Just because your husband has been talking morbidly and made out a will and carries around a few pills...
13:14Courage, my dear.
13:21That tickles.
13:24Watch my mole.
13:28You're feeling more secure now that you know you're mentioned in my will, huh?
13:32You're all hard, Wilbur, and I want you to know something.
13:36What is it, Ed?
13:37If I should go first, everything I own goes to you.
13:41Well, that's very kind of you, but I look kind of silly walking around with horseshoes and a saddle.
13:45I wish I could leave you something, Wilbur.
13:49You'll be leaving me wonderful memories of a horse that is faithful and kind.
13:53A true friend and a pal.
13:55There'll never be another horse like you, Ed.
13:58What's wrong?
14:00I'm not even gone, and I miss me already.
14:10I gotta go.
14:11We're having dinner tonight at the Addison's.
14:16Now, remember, I expect you to be brave.
14:19Now, let's all smile, pretend to be gay.
14:27Wilbur, come in.
14:29Sorry I'm late, Rog.
14:30Oh, think nothing of it, old boy.
14:32Go ahead, the girls are waiting for you.
14:38Boy, what a beautiful night.
14:46Why are you all smiling?
14:47Uh, Addison just told us a very funny joke.
14:52Oh, yeah, I heard a very funny joke today.
14:55It seems this farmer came out from the east, and he was a little confused by the change of time,
14:59you see.
14:59So he woke up one morning, three hours early, and started to milk the cow while the cow was still
15:04asleep.
15:04Suddenly, the cow woke up and said, thank heaven it's you.
15:07I thought I was being robbed.
15:15I heard the joke.
15:17I thought I'd die.
15:19Oh, Wilbur, please.
15:21Wilbur, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow for my annual checkup.
15:26How about coming along with me?
15:27Why, you scared of doctors?
15:28No.
15:30I just like company.
15:31Well, now that the cans are all open, shall we have dinner?
15:37Oh, pardon me.
15:42Hello?
15:43Yes, yes, he's here.
15:45Wilbur, it's for you.
15:47Hold it just a minute.
15:50Thanks, Rog.
15:51Hello?
15:54Roger, I can't stand it.
15:56I'm going to ask him what's wrong with him.
15:58Maybe she should.
16:00You'll never get Wilbur to your doctor.
16:02No, but maybe I can get my doctor to come to him.
16:06But, Roger, you heard him.
16:08Wilbur would never submit to an examination.
16:10Not if he's trying to hide something from me.
16:13He'll never even know that he's being examined by a doctor.
16:16Well, how in the world are you going to do that?
16:19Dr. Reynolds happens to be an excellent golfer.
16:22I'll introduce him as a golf instructor.
16:24Now, leave everything to me.
16:28Carol?
16:29Oh, hi, Kay.
16:31Has the doctor's...
16:33Doctor?
16:34Golf pro?
16:37Where's Wilbur?
16:38Upstairs, changing to his golf clothes.
16:41He's so excited about this lesson he thinks he's taking.
16:44Oh, now, my dear, remember, you promised to be brave.
16:47Yes, there's no sense in worrying, Angel.
16:50The doctor might find...
16:52I mean, the golf pro might find he's not so sick after all.
16:56Kay, why don't you wait outside, huh?
16:58Addison, I promise you, I won't say a word.
17:02That's the doctor!
17:06Why don't you wait out on the patio, Loose Lips?
17:09I'll get it.
17:15Hello, John.
17:17Rog, how are you?
17:17Come in.
17:19He's upstairs.
17:22John Reynolds, this is Carol Post.
17:25How do you do?
17:25How do you do?
17:26You have a lovely home.
17:28And my wife, Kay.
17:29How do you do?
17:31My husband tells me that you're one of the finest doctors...
17:36I'll be out on the patio.
17:40Roger, I'm only doing this out of friendship for you and to relieve Mrs. Post's anxiety.
17:45Oh, and I appreciate it so much.
17:46Well, now, you understand, I can't give your husband a thorough physical examination this way.
17:50We realize that, John.
17:51Just check him for the major symptoms.
17:54Later, we'll get him to your office for a complete checkup.
17:57Honey, is the golf pro here yet?
18:00Yes, Wilbur is here.
18:03I'll wait outside.
18:09Hi, Wilbur.
18:10Hi.
18:11Wilbur Post, John Reynolds.
18:12How do you do?
18:13Hello, John.
18:13Oh, this is a real treat for me.
18:15Roger's been telling me how much you've improved his game.
18:18Well, he's been a very apt pupil.
18:21Now, if you'll just sit down and watch, I'll demonstrate the proper stance.
18:24Okay.
18:26Now, the most important thing in getting a good smooth stroke...
18:33...is to pivot your knee correctly.
18:35Oh, which knee?
18:37That one.
18:38Oh, that's fine, fine.
18:39Now, you take the club because I want to check your grip.
18:41Oh, all right.
18:43There we are.
18:45Right hand first.
18:46There we are.
18:47Good.
18:48Now, nice grip.
18:49Firm but gentle.
18:51Hmm?
18:51That's it.
18:52Right?
18:52Now, what did you say your golf score is?
18:55Ninety-nine.
18:56Uh, what was that?
18:57Ninety-nine.
18:58Louder, please.
19:00Ninety-nine.
19:02Fine, fine.
19:03What's fine?
19:04Your grip.
19:05Oh!
19:05Now, let's see about those shoulders.
19:07They must be straight, you know.
19:09I'll try not to tickle you.
19:11Take it.
19:11Now, let's see.
19:12No tenseness.
19:12No tenseness.
19:13No tenseness.
19:15Now, let's see.
19:16Would you take a deep breath for me, please?
19:17Deep breath?
19:19Oh, yes.
19:19It's very important, you know, just before you hit the ball to hold your breath.
19:22Gets the power.
19:23Power.
19:23That's right.
19:24Power.
19:25Now, would you breathe for me?
19:27Let it out.
19:29That's fine.
19:31There we go.
19:32Now, let's see.
19:33We'd better check on your backswing, I think.
19:36Okay.
19:36Let me help you here.
19:38There we go.
19:39Up.
19:39Up slowly.
19:40Slowly.
19:41There we go.
19:42Now, when you get to the top of the swing, it's very important to pause.
19:46How long?
19:48Uh, five seconds.
19:50One, two, three, four, five.
19:55Good.
19:56Good.
19:56Very good.
19:57Somebody could have played through.
19:58Yes.
19:59Now, let's see.
20:00We've taken care of your backswing.
20:02Now, we'll attend to the downswing in a minute.
20:04But first, I want to check your sense of balance.
20:06Uh, would you close your eyes, please, and hold your hands out in front of you?
20:09Well, I've never had a lesson like this before.
20:12And you never will again.
20:14Uh, listen to him, Wilbur.
20:16Listen to him.
20:17He took six strokes off my game.
20:20Uh, would you close your eyes, please?
20:21Yeah.
20:21Hands out in front of you.
20:22All right.
20:23Have you got your eyes closed?
20:24Yes.
20:24Yeah?
20:25All right.
20:27Now, let's see.
20:28We'll check this balance here.
20:30Seems to be all right there.
20:31It's fine.
20:32Is this for the grip or the swings?
20:34Uh, everything.
20:34Everything.
20:35It covers everything.
20:35Mm-hmm.
20:36Let's see.
20:37Yes, I think you're doing just fine.
20:39Good.
20:40Make a good go.
20:40Oh, oh, eyes closed.
20:42Sorry, I thought you were finished.
20:43Oh, no, no.
20:43Hold your hands out.
20:44Now, would you lift your right leg for me, please?
20:47Lift my leg?
20:48Yes, lift your leg.
20:49Keep your eyes closed.
20:50Hands out.
20:50Leg down.
20:51There we are.
20:52Very good.
20:53Mm-hmm.
20:57Mm-hmm.
20:58Yeah.
20:58It's all right.
21:00This is the strangest golf lesson.
21:03Yes.
21:03Well, you can't teach a man to line up a puck properly unless he's got good peripheral
21:08vision.
21:09Yeah, it looks fine.
21:10Fine.
21:12Excuse me.
21:19Hello?
21:20Wilbur, that golf pro is really a doctor.
21:25He is?
21:26You wouldn't go for a checkup, so they're bringing the checkup to you.
21:31Oh.
21:32Well, uh, thank you for the call.
21:34They had me terribly worried with that doctor.
21:38You oughta teach them a lesson.
21:40I, uh, I think you're right.
21:43And I will.
21:44Goodbye, Mr. Jackson.
21:51Well, uh, where were we?
21:55Wilbur, what is the matter with you?
21:57Well, I, nothing.
21:58Huh?
22:00I always get these nervous attacks when I worry.
22:04What do you worry about?
22:06Getting these nervous attacks.
22:09Tell me, how long have you had these attacks?
22:12Oh.
22:16Just since I fell off my horse.
22:18Wilbur!
22:19Huh?
22:19You never told me you fell off a horse?
22:21Well, I, I didn't really fall off it.
22:23I, I fainted.
22:25Do you get these attacks often?
22:27Oh, only when my wife isn't around.
22:28I don't like to worry her.
22:30Haven't got time now, honey.
22:32Gotta continue with our golf lesson.
22:34Uh, how about a little putting practice, doctor?
22:44Look, I'm sorry.
22:46You knew it all the time, didn't you?
22:48Oh, of course.
22:49Golf pro.
22:50Were those bloomers?
22:52You got M.D. written all over you.
22:54And Carol.
22:55I mean, that was a pretty sneaky way of, of getting a man examined.
22:59Oh.
22:59But, but you're sick.
23:00And, and you refused-
23:01Wait, wait, wait.
23:02Whatever gave you the idea that I am sick?
23:04Well, that will you made out, and those pills I found in your pocket.
23:09Honey, those pills are for Ed, and so is the will.
23:12Fred?
23:13Ed?
23:13Excuse me.
23:15Who is Ed?
23:16Ed is my horse.
23:18You made out a will to your horse?
23:21Well, it's no stranger in making out a will to a cat.
23:23Roger, let's get on with the examination.
23:25You hold him.
23:27Now, wait a minute.
23:28What?
23:28Oh, silly!
23:30Wait!
23:34Poor old Ed.
23:35They sure had me worried with that doctor.
23:39Yeah.
23:39You were practically in tears over the phone.
23:42You're all I've got, Wilbur.
23:44I know, Ed.
23:46I'm really your next of kin.
23:48To me, you're like a blood brother.
23:52Thanks, Ed.
23:55Well, at least you're well provided for now.
23:58Say, how did she take it when you told her I was in your will?
24:04What do you mean, how did she take it?
24:06I just told her that from now on I was the boss, that's the way I wanted it, and that
24:10was that.
24:12Oh, boy.
24:13That's telling her.
24:26Good night, boss.
24:30Good night, Ed.
24:43A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse, of course.
24:48That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. A.
24:51Go right to the source and ask the horse.
24:54He'll give you the answer that you endorse.
24:56He's always on a steady course.
24:58Talk to Mr. A.
25:00Keep booyackety-yack the streak and waste your time a day.
25:04But Mr. A will never speak unless he has something to say.
25:08A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and this one will talk to his voice is hoarse.
25:13You never heard of a talking horse?
25:17Well, listen to this.
25:18I am Mr. Ed.
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