- 9 minutes ago
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00:00Help! Why ain't he playing by the rules?
00:02One sip of this and my throat's done for!
00:06It's your hard work. Can't waste it.
00:08I'm screwed. He's really gonna force this poison down my throat.
00:12Shot myself in the foot.
00:15Since you already had some, I'll let it slide.
00:21Thanks for understanding, Derek.
00:24Bastard.
00:28Headed to the company.
00:29Drive safe, Derek. Don't overwork yourself.
00:33Hell yes. The iceberg is finally leaving.
00:39Hitting up that new club in Soho with Tessa at noon?
00:42We're gonna get Italian male models with 8-track abs to pour us champagne?
00:45Let's get wild!
00:51Colleen.
00:53Yes, Derek?
00:54I'm getting sick of outside food.
00:56Today for lunch, I want your homemade meal.
00:59Brought to my office.
01:00You won't refuse, right?
01:02Of course, Derek.
01:03It's my honor.
01:04My club.
01:06My models.
01:08Derek, you psycho.
01:09Who the hell wants to cook for you?
01:11I thought this was just a boring arranged marriage.
01:13And Colleen, a boring socialite.
01:15But now I see my wife is way more vibrant and wild than I imagined.
01:18This is getting interesting.
01:20Boss, were you just smiling?
01:24Drive.
01:25Time to handle Donnie.
01:27Tessa, I can't make it to the club today.
01:29Why not?
01:30That damn iceberg insisted on a homemade lunch.
01:32Ruined my 8-pack models.
01:34Serves you right.
01:35Who told you to be a proxy bride for a million bucks?
01:37Correction.
01:38A million bucks plus full medical bills for Rose.
01:41How's the real Colleen recovering?
01:43Still in a coma.
01:45Pat sent word at least three more months until she wakes up.
01:48Once we switch back, I'm taking the cash and going back to Brooklyn to live my life.
01:52You're playing the part so well.
01:53Never caught feelings for that ridiculous hot husby?
01:56Absolutely not.
01:57He's as cold as an ice block.
01:58Someone who hasn't caught feelings wouldn't describe his pecs to me every single day.
02:02Shut up.
02:03I just want a piece of him.
02:04That's all.
02:05Hanging up.
02:16Derek, that harbor storage project.
02:19I swear I didn't embezzle a dime from the family.
02:23Donnie, five million is missing from the books.
02:27Money doesn't grow legs and walk out of the family account.
02:30Must be a screw-up by the accountants.
02:32I swore a blood oath to your father.
02:35How could I ever betray the family?
02:37And without hard proof, you can't touch me under mafia rules.
02:42Ma'am!
02:42You really can't go in.
02:43The boss is handling business.
02:50Derek, did I interrupt your meeting?
02:58Derek, I was just worried you'd starve working so hard.
03:01Didn't mean to interrupt.
03:04It's fine.
03:06Wait for me in the private lounge outside.
03:07Ain't this fat old guy Donnie?
03:09Heard at afternoon tea with the mob wives, he bought a luxury penthouse for his side pitch in Red Hitch.
03:15Used his offshore shell company, Blue Ocean.
03:18This old gold's totally embezzling family money for his mistress.
03:22Marco, check properties in Red Hitch.
03:25And an offshore shell company called Blue Ocean.
03:29Laundering money through Blue Ocean, hiding a mistress in Red Hook.
03:33Donnie, what else you gotta say?
03:35Drag him out.
03:36Handle him by family rules.
03:38Recover the missing funds.
03:42Boss, we dug for three months with zero leads.
03:45How'd you pinpoint that hidden count in five minutes?
03:47I got my sources.
03:50Let my wife in.
03:52So petty.
03:53Can't believe he's still holding a grudge.
03:57100% poison free.
03:59Ah.
04:01Exactly six months since the wedding today.
04:03This iceberg godfather is finally showing some humanity.
04:06About time.
04:06Today's our six-month anniversary.
04:09Taking you out to celebrate tonight.
04:11What do you want to eat?
04:12Oh my god, a mafia boss doing the whole six-month anniversary romance routine?
04:16Bet he's gonna take me to some stuck-up tiny portion French place again.
04:20So sick of it lately.
04:22Man, I miss Katz's Deli's pastrami sandwiches.
04:25Whatever you arrange is fine by me.
04:27Good.
04:27I'll handle it.
04:33Boss, about dinner with the missus.
04:35I'll book the best machillin-starred spot on the Upper East Side right away.
04:38Got something else in mind tonight.
04:44Book the private section at Katz's Dairy tonight.
04:46Just for me and my wife.
04:48Boss?
04:50Don't you never touch that kind of street food?
04:53I don't like repeating myself.
04:55Get it done.
04:56Yes, boss.
04:57I'm all prepped to take three tiny bites per dish at a French restaurant.
05:01Gotta be elegant.
05:03Gotta stay classy.
05:06Wait, this ain't the way to the Upper East Side.
05:09Not even a fancy doorman on this street?
05:12Hope you like tonight's arrangement.
05:13Anywhere is fine, as long as I'm with you.
05:16Very down-to-earth choice, Derek.
05:18How do I even cut this?
05:19The meat's bursting out.
05:21Grabbing it with both hands and taking a massive bite is the only right way to eat this.
05:25Using a knife and fork is a damn insult.
05:28This is killing me.
05:29I think it's more authentic to just eat this with your hands.
05:35So damn good.
05:37Screw French food.
05:38This is the ultimate joy of carbs and fat.
05:41Hold still.
05:46Speak.
05:47Boss, Madam Barrett just showed up at your apartment.
05:49She found out you and the missus have been sleeping in separate rooms.
05:51She's furious.
05:52Demand you two head home right now.
05:56The godfather of the Morecci family sleeps in the master, while his wife gets the guest room.
06:02Are you playing house?
06:04Mother, I've been busy lately.
06:06Didn't want to disturb Colleen's rest, so...
06:09Cut the crap!
06:10Half a year of marriage and I ain't even seen a shadow of a grandson!
06:13Mother, please don't get worked up.
06:15It's my body that still needs tuning up.
06:17Please don't blame Derek.
06:19Push him.
06:20Push him hard.
06:20Madam Vera, you're my absolute savior.
06:22Make this iceberg sleep with me already.
06:24Sweet girl.
06:25How could the pearl of the Kavanaugh family have any problems?
06:28It's this bastard who only cares about work and ignores you.
06:31If he won't even lay a finger on you, no amount of tuning up will work!
06:35This is between my wife and me.
06:37I'll handle it.
06:39I'm giving you one last chance.
06:42Starting tonight, you sleep in the same bed.
06:44If there's no news by next month, I'll move into this apartment and watch you two every single day.
06:51Move in to supervise?
06:53This mafia mother-in-law is wild.
06:55A lone man, a lone woman, sparking a roaring fire?
06:58Is it finally happening?
07:00About what my mother said, we need to talk.
07:05Derek, whatever you say.
07:07If you feel pressured, I can go explain to mother.
07:10Don't feel pressured?
07:11God, I've waited six whole months for this day.
07:15Tonight, do I just push him down or wait for him to make the move?
07:20It's a family duty.
07:21Can't be avoided.
07:22I understand.
07:24As your wife, it's my duty to cooperate.
07:27Hurry up!
07:27I can't wait to inspect the goods.
07:29What the hell is going on inside this woman's head?
07:33Tonight, we sleep in the master bedroom.
07:36Go get ready.
07:46Derek, if you're ready, we can begin.
07:50Oh my god, he's walking over.
07:51Is this wide-open rogue a trap to seduce me?
07:53The lines of those pecs are a straight-up crime.
07:56But it's too bright in here.
07:58So awkward.
07:59He can probably see the peach fez on my face.
08:01If only he'd turn off that bright lamp on the nightstand
08:04and just leave the wall shoulders on.
08:08Also, why is he just staring at me without saying a word?
08:11I'm so nervous I could puke.
08:13Couldn't he just start with, don't be nervous?
08:17Don't be nervous.
08:19It's just a duty.
08:20Okay.
08:30Wait.
08:32Turning off the lamp?
08:34Don't be nervous.
08:36What a coincidence.
08:38What he did and said matches exactly what I was thinking, word for word?
08:45Did I say that out loud?
08:47No way, my mouth is shut tight.
08:48I didn't feel my vocal cords vibrate at all.
08:52I want you to touch my left eyebrow.
09:01Oh my god.
09:02He really can hear me.
09:12Staring at my face with your eyes wide open?
09:15What are you so curious about?
09:19Or were you just praying in your head for me to do something?
09:22Scared the crap out of me.
09:24He just wanted to fix my hair.
09:26Am I crazy?
09:27This ain't a movie.
09:29He turned off the light for the mood and told me not to be nervous because I was shaking
09:32like a leaf.
09:33Reading people is basic skill for a mafia boss, okay?
09:43Are mafia guys all rough in bed?
09:46His hands are so cold.
09:47I'm kind of scared.
09:53Relax.
09:54I won't hurt you.
09:55We'll take it slow.
10:00God.
10:01This is nothing like I imagined.
10:03His hands are warm now?
10:06He's actually this gentle?
10:08It'd be nice if he kissed the side of my neck.
10:13Why is he still on my chin?
10:15Move down a bit.
10:20Right there.
10:21Feels so good.
10:23God, is this what they call soulmates?
10:35Tonight, I used mind reading to please her the whole time.
10:40And I actually enjoyed it myself.
10:43This wasn't part of the plan at all.
10:46If one day you find out the truth,
10:48know that I can hear your every thought.
10:53Would you still think we're soulmates?
10:58Oh my god, what is this position?
11:00Retreat!
11:01Retreat!
11:05I'm screwed, I'm locked in.
11:08Wait.
11:09But it's so comfy.
11:11So warm.
11:14These muscles feel incredible.
11:17Just one more minute.
11:19Just one minute.
11:22Morning.
11:26Morning.
11:30It scared the hell out of me!
11:32As long as I run fast enough,
11:34the awkwardness can't catch up!
11:36Three days.
11:38Three whole days.
11:39Just cuddling to sleep every single night?
11:41What the hell is up with this guy?
11:43He was so sexy that first night,
11:45and now he's suddenly a celibate priest?
11:50Can't sleep?
11:52Let's do something else then.
12:05The vials are all here,
12:08but you're tapping the desk
12:09at half your usual beat today.
12:10You look real relaxed.
12:12What's got you in such a good mood?
12:14Is it my beautiful sister-in-law?
12:17Just because Donnie's spot got filled.
12:20Don't overthink it.
12:25Ooh, the iceberg of the Morelli family
12:28is actually catching feelings.
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