00:00I was hosting a TV comedy special and one of the comedians was called Pat Regan
00:04and my assistant went, oh this is Pat, he loves you, he knows you've just done Traitors
00:08and he went, I love Saree from Survivor and I went, oh she wins!
00:14And his face blanched, it was just, I realised, it was like I'd taken away his favourite toy on Christmas
00:20Day
00:20and that was a lesson I learned very quickly, you know, I had to keep my mouth shut.
00:24I'm Alan Cumming and these are my top seven Traitors players of all time.
00:33I'm just happy as can be. I honestly think I'll make a good Traitor.
00:37I'm extremely competitive. I like to win.
00:42Rob Roush, season four, winner of the Traitors. I think he's the best player ever we've ever had.
00:49Also I would like to preface this by saying that when he started I thought he was a little shit.
00:54It's weird to be wearing clothes. I haven't made out with anybody yet. It's pretty crazy.
00:59It was a cold summer night and we were all arriving and he had on like hardly anything
01:03and he was freezing and he was a little on his own and when it came to the bit when
01:07I had to
01:07talk to them all, he was so monosyllabic and I was like, so Rob, you know, how are you feeling?
01:14He went, cold. And I went, oh, a man of few words. Yeah.
01:17This is an example of how this game is so difficult, but also how revelatory,
01:23because I had him down for like grumpy little cute boy and he turned out to be the best player
01:28we ever had.
01:31Yeah, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this.
01:40I think the thing that most people just lose sight of that it is a game. You're supposed to be
01:44traitorous
01:45if you're a traitor and if you're a faithful, you're supposed to seek out traitorousness,
01:50but he never lost sight of that. And a lot of, especially his fellow traitors did and kind of
01:55were calling him a snake and how terrible he was. And you're like, yeah, that's the whole point.
02:00He played the long game. He played, um, played his fellow traitors. And of course,
02:07he played the lovely Maura, which was, you know, made for one of the best moments on television.
02:12I am, and I always have been, a traitor.
02:21It's just heartbreaking. The tension is just, I could see him just knowing he had to say this to this
02:28woman who just, who he loved and who just completely trusted him. And when she said,
02:34oh, you'll never get a boyfriend. I mean, no, a girlfriend. Whoops. That's my wishful thinking.
02:37You're never going to have a girlfriend after this. You're such a good liar.
02:41Uh, that was such a lovely moment. I loved the thing about Maura as well,
02:45is that in that moment, she went from disbelief, fury into kind of understanding and then being able to
02:50joke about it. Like within, you know, she was like, good on you. You know, it's a game and you
02:54did it,
02:54you know, but you'll never get a girlfriend. My job now is to go unidentified. I could never be
03:01anything. A traitor? You think I could be a traitor? See, that was good, right?
03:07Ceri Fields, winner of the first ever season of the Traitors. I think of her like as a sort of
03:12a shark.
03:14Slowly, just kind of, her little fins are going and all of a sudden she goes,
03:17The thing that's amazing about Ceri's win is that there was no precedent. Like no one,
03:22there was, it was the first season of the, of the game. So nobody knew what to expect.
03:27I am a faithful at heart, but I'm a traitor in this game.
03:33Nobody suspected her and was always so reasonable and calm. When she won, we were down in that garden
03:40and I remember coming back with her. Andy and Quentin, who were the other people there,
03:43they were kind of mean to it, I thought. I mean, they were obviously so upset. And again,
03:47it was the first time the game had been played. It must have been more terrible for them because
03:51of that. They had no idea that what was coming and what to expect. So Ceri had just won this
03:57game,
03:57won all this money. And I remember I walked her back out here and we got a little glass of
04:00champagne.
04:01We sat in a room upstairs and I just was like, Ceri, you've won this. Congratulations. She was like,
04:05yeah, yeah. She was in shock. Her calmness and her trustworthiness was, was amazing. It's such a
04:12balance. You've got to be obviously wily and wiry and all those things. But if you talk too much
04:17and you're too engaged, people suspect you. I mean, there is no game plan for this game because
04:23it's, it varies with each set of people. And also it's a game, someone who's doing really well can
04:28be just like, boom, out. You're either an Iron Maiden or a Ice Princess. Every time I walk into a
04:35room,
04:36people stop talking. I don't know, but you're going to have to just be more lovable. Okay. Yeah.
04:43Phaedra Parks from season two. Tremendous. Tremendous. Not a great player. I don't think.
04:50Not a great, I mean, but, but didn't really have the game. Like did that thing where when people say,
04:56well, I think it's you, she would say, well, I think it's you, you know, which is this, duh,
05:00number 101. Don't do that. That's what everyone says about transference and everything like that.
05:04But her, she sort of had this analytical, because she was a lawyer, lawyer-y form of analysis and
05:11attack that was so mesmerizing and blinding. And also absolute zingers, such great one-liners.
05:19I mean, Sweet Baby Jesus, not Ekansu is etched on my mind forever. Oh my lord, Sweet Baby Jesus,
05:26not Ekansu. Lord, not Ekansu. Yeah. I was, she's the only person that I, Lord, not Ekansu. I would
05:33actually do it. Jesus fan me, honey. Not Ekansu. And also another great thing Phaedra said was when
05:39Pilot Pete, who had been on The Bachelor, uh, was sort of got onto her, you know, he was kind
05:45of
05:45sussed everyone out and she was, she was slightly rattled. And she said, I did too little because you
05:51did too much. But my favorite thing if she said, what you might've forgot, Peter, is this is not
05:57The Bachelor. And I don't have to kiss your ass for Rose. Just spot on. Drop the mic, bitch.
06:11You know, the great thing about the housewives, they come, they have a lot of shtick. Their shtick
06:14actually kind of quite works up until a certain point because it's quite aggressive and it's quite
06:18tribal and it's quite sort of, but then I think after that they don't do so well because they
06:24kind of keep on in that way and they don't kind of get enough game. I think Geraldine is a
06:29traitor
06:29and if I can save myself by throwing her under the bus or get ready because I'm going to throw
06:34her
06:34under it, put it in reverse and run back over top of her because I mean I'll do it if
06:37it means saving
06:38myself. Michael Davidson in season one. So in season one we had half real people and half famous people
06:45and Michael was one of the real people. He's a huge reality show fan so he was just kind of,
06:50his mind was blown by the fact he was in this room with all these famous people.
06:54I can't believe I am with Freakin' Siree. I'm like the biggest Survivor fan. I wish I had my phone
07:01so I could take a selfie with her and just like post on Instagram. And he was kind of socially
07:06anxious
07:07and he talked about that and that's why they kind of turned on him and he sort of explained why
07:12sometimes
07:12he wasn't able to play the role that everybody wanted him to play because of his sort of social
07:16anxiety. I think it was really lovely because I think he, he spoke out about that which is something
07:21that I think has happened in pre, in consequent seasons. I can't remember who was the architect
07:25of his demise. I suspect it may have been a housewife. My plan today is to get Michael out. I
07:31just think
07:31he's great and I would like to see him come back. Ultimately, eventually, surely we're going to have
07:36all-stars or something. I think it would be fun because he's clearly got Faithful written all over him so
07:41it might be quite fun
07:42to make him a traitor. He would be unexpected and I would love to see how he would cope with
07:46that.
07:46I'm a retired politician, backstabbing, deception are all part and parcel of the political life.
07:58John Bercow in season two, in the gold charts, I say to him, what are you doing here? And I
08:04really mean
08:04it because I think he was the, he was the Speaker of the House of Commons.
08:08So you actually were a member of Parliament? I was. Okay. I thought you were the host
08:12when we first got here. Order, order. I think he did really well, you know,
08:17he's one of these people that lasted much longer than I feel anyone expected, including himself.
08:22Banishment, my dear friend, should be your fate tonight. This guy is the silent slaughterer.
08:31He didn't fit in, but he talked so much that they all just were furious with him and they called
08:36him
08:36Parliament, John. And he kind of after, he took a while to cut on, but he kind of quickly thought,
08:42I've got to shut up. So it was really interesting seeing his journey. Then, you know, the following
08:46year with a member of the Royal Family in the show. So we get these randos and I think John
08:51was the
08:51first of the truly bonkers randos.
08:55Oh my God!
08:58Why did I have a clue?
09:00Yo, I had no clue.
09:03I'm freaking out right now.
09:05Carolyn Uyghur, season three, absolutely bonkers. I loved Carolyn. Carolyn is a lot,
09:12you know, kind of, she's quite highly strung. She's very emotional. She's got this great sort of
09:20Midwestern funny accent. She's got all these amazing tats. She's really beautiful and in a sort of
09:27biker girl way. There's just so much going on. I thought she would be such great value,
09:32would go under the radar. And she really did. She kind of kept quiet. But then once she was crossed
09:37by
09:38Danielle, oh my God, it was like a Western. Don't you fake those tears.
09:44I'm not thinking if I go out, I go out, but I'm going to say my piece. For the last
09:48three or four
09:48days, have I mentioned Carolyn's name at all? No. No, because I'm scared. Because I'm afraid she's
09:54on to me and that she might kill me. And Danielle kind of went into sort of completely dead zone
10:04mode
10:04and Carolyn fell apart in just this emotional way and crying. And it was incredible.
10:10I just wanted to have fun, but I have to get real with myself. Being a traitor isn't fun.
10:21She's sort of a tragic figure in a way, a tragic traitor's figure, because she put so much into it
10:28and was ultimately kind of horribly betrayed. But the game is called The Traitors. The seventh
10:33person on my list. I can't tell you who it is because they are in this season that we're about
10:38to premiere. The real people, the civilian season. There are some amazing players in this series,
10:45but there's one person who is so devious. You almost can't believe how evil
10:55and treacherous they are. But then again, that's what this game is all about. I think people think
11:00perhaps because it's real people and not celebrities. And we've known that celebrities
11:03kind of have this panache and kind of extra shtick that they understand about playing a role.
11:10Forget about that. These real people know how to do it.
11:13So
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