00:00I woke to the sound of glass breaking, not in the apartment, on the television.
00:07Some action movie Caleb Canned had fallen asleep to was throwing punches across the screen,
00:12but the crack of a bottle against a wall snapped straight through me anyway.
00:18I was out of the guest room before I realized what I was doing.
00:21Caleb looked up from the couch, instantly awake.
00:25Caleb muted the TV when he saw my face.
00:30Hey.
00:32I wrapped my arms around myself and hated that he had caught me like this.
00:37You should lock your doors.
00:38He sat forward, elbows on his knees.
00:45You're shaking.
00:46I looked toward the dark windows instead of at him.
00:50My dad used to come home drunk.
00:52You could tell what kind of night it would be by the way he shut the door.
00:58The words left before I could stop them.
01:01I had not meant to say his name.
01:06I had not meant to offer Caleb anything that looked like truth.
01:11He did not interrupt.
01:13He did not joke.
01:15I could feel his eyes on me, but all he said was,
01:19Did he hurt you?
01:22My jaw locked.
01:25That was answer enough.
01:28He stood slowly from the couch, careful this time,
01:32like one wrong move might send me running.
01:35Red.
01:36I finally looked at him.
01:38His hands were open at his sides.
01:41His voice was low.
01:42Come sit with me.
01:45He was waiting by the door when I came out of my room.
01:50Not in practice clothes.
01:52Not half-dressed.
01:54Not pretending this was casual.
01:57Dark jeans.
01:59Boots.
02:00A fitted sweater that made his shoulders look even broader.
02:04One hand in his pocket.
02:06Car keys in the other.
02:08You're coming with me.
02:11I stopped halfway down the hall.
02:14That sounds less like an invitation and more like kidnapping.
02:17Caleb grinned.
02:19I said it nicely in my head.
02:22I should have asked where we were going.
02:24I should have said no on principle.
02:27Instead, I ended up in the passenger seat,
02:31with the window cracked,
02:32the city sliding by outside,
02:35and him tapping the steering wheel,
02:38like he already knew I would come.
02:41He parked near the river and started walking without trying to touch me.
02:46That somehow felt more dangerous.
02:48We passed food trucks,
02:51couples,
02:52a kid with a balloon dragging behind him.
02:56Nobody looked at us twice.
02:59Nobody knew I was sleeping in his guest room,
03:02and pretending I was not waiting
03:04for every glance.
03:06A gust of wind hit hard off the water.
03:10I shovered before I could hide it.
03:13Caleb stepped closer,
03:15reached up,
03:16and brushed hair away from my face,
03:20with the back of his fingers.
03:22You never let anyone do anything for you,
03:25do you?
03:26I forgot the cold completely.
03:30He shut the passenger door,
03:33and circled to the driver's side.
03:35But he did not start the engine right away.
03:39Streetlights threw pale bands across the windshield.
03:43The heater hummed.
03:44My pulse did something uneven,
03:46when the silence stretched too long.
03:50I stared at my hands in my lap.
03:53That was safer,
03:55than looking at him.
03:57Caleb turned in his seat.
04:00Did you have a bad time?
04:02I looked up too fast.
04:04No.
04:06His mouth tipped at one corner.
04:08You said that like it hurt.
04:10I laughed once under my breath.
04:15He kept watching me,
04:16patient and uncharacteristically quiet.
04:20I just don't know what this is.
04:22That landed between us and stayed there.
04:25His fingers tapped once against the steering wheel,
04:28then stopped.
04:29I took you out.
04:31You laughed twice.
04:32You stole my fries.
04:35Feels like a date.
04:36My face warmed.
04:38You make everything sound easy.
04:41Caleb leaned toward me,
04:42slow enough to stop if I wanted.
04:45With you?
04:46Not even close.
04:48His eyes dropped to my mouth.
04:51The space between us narrowed.
04:55Until I could feel the heat of his breath,
04:57and the pull to close the rest myself,
05:00I should have moved.
05:02Instead,
05:03my hand slid across the seat,
05:05and landed over his.
05:09He went completely still.
05:11My hand was still covering his,
05:12when he turned it over,
05:15and lanced our fingers together.
05:18He did not kiss me.
05:20That almost felt crueler.
05:21The moment hung there,
05:23tight and bright,
05:24until he leaned back in his seat,
05:26and exhaled through a small smile,
05:29like he had just stopped himself
05:31from doing something reckless.
05:34Caleb started the car this time.
05:37We drove in silence for a few blocks,
05:39before he spoke.
05:40What do you want, Veronica?
05:42Not tonight.
05:43Not from him.
05:44Just want...
05:45I watched storefront lights slide across the window.
05:49A job that pays enough.
05:51A place that's mine.
05:53Food in the fridge that I don't have to count.
05:57Saying it out loud made it sound smaller than it felt.
06:00He glanced at me at a red light.
06:02That's all?
06:03I nodded.
06:05That would be everything.
06:06His grip tightened once on the wheel.
06:09You should want more.
06:11Easy for you to say.
06:13The light turned green,
06:15but he did not move right away.
06:17Maybe.
06:18In the elevator up to his apartment,
06:21the mirrored walls threw us back at ourselves.
06:25Me in borrowed piece.
06:27Him in expensive ease.
06:28Different in every obvious way.
06:31Then he looked at our reflections.
06:33And said it without smiling.
06:35I'm not trying to make you owe me.
06:37I met his eyes in the mirror.
06:39So what are you trying to do?
06:41The elevator doors opened.
06:42And he still didn't answer.
06:45Iman caught up to me on the library steps.
06:48Just as I was shoving resumes back into my bag.
06:51He was in my economics class.
06:54Harmless, polite, and carrying two coffees.
06:56You dropped this.
06:58He held out one of my printed pages.
07:00I took it with a quick thanks.
07:03Already stepping away.
07:05Then another shadow crossed over us.
07:08Caleb stopped at the bottom of the steps.
07:10And looked from Damon to me.
07:13Damon smiled at him.
07:15The way men do when they have no idea they are in anyone's way.
07:20Hey.
07:21Caleb's expression barely changed.
07:23Hey.
07:24The single word landed flat.
07:27I took the coffee Damon offered, because refusing would have made it stranger.
07:32That was a mistake.
07:34Caleb's jaw shifted.
07:35Not much.
07:37Just enough for me to notice.
07:39Damon glanced between us.
07:41I'll see you in class, Veronica.
07:42He left fast after that.
07:45I waited until he was gone.
07:47Was that necessary?
07:49Caleb stepped closer.
07:50Eyes on the coffee in my hand.
07:53Did he ask you out?
07:56That's none of your business.
07:58He laughed once.
07:59But there was no ease in it.
08:01Caleb took the cup from my fingers, set it on the stone railing, and closed the distance between us.
08:07Students moved around us, but he did not lower his voice.
08:12Then let me make it my business.
08:16My breath caught.
08:19You flirt with everybody.
08:21His stare held mine, steady and sharp.
08:24Not like this.
08:25Then he dipped his head closer.
08:27I'm not playing with you, Red.
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