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Twitch - wenevergetyounger
Twitch - wenevergetyounger
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00:00Your pain, your betrayal, your heartbreaks, some of the worst things in your life that happened to you will only
00:07make sense later.
00:09I've had things happen to me where while I was going through them, I had no idea why it looked
00:14the way it did.
00:15I could not see any bigger lesson in it and I was not sitting there thinking about how I was
00:20going to become wiser and stronger because of it.
00:23I was genuinely hurt. I was confused. I was trying to understand what I had done to deserve this.
00:30And for me, one of the biggest examples is I was in a three-year relationship that was very toxic.
00:35She was dealing with mental health problems, but I still cared about her a lot.
00:40I knew she was struggling and didn't have anyone there for her, so I felt like I needed to be
00:46there for her.
00:48I kept thinking, if somebody I cared for was struggling that badly, what kind of person would I be to
00:56walk away?
00:57And the problem was that the relationship was terrible for me.
01:00I had tried to leave many times, but I was held in.
01:05I was threatened into staying and I knew I was unhappy.
01:09I knew what was happening was not healthy.
01:11But I still had this feeling that somehow I was responsible for keeping everything together.
01:17So for years, I provided. I was there.
01:20I always took the meetings to keep it straight.
01:24And at the time, I could not understand why I was in that situation.
01:29And I'd always wondered what I had done to deserve it, because I didn't think anyone deserved to be treated
01:34that way.
01:35I mean, I still cared about this person because I wanted to help her.
01:39I am a person who believes that everybody is deserving of love, so I gave as much love as I
01:47could.
01:48But looking back now, I understand so many things that I couldn't understand then.
01:54That caring about someone doesn't mean you have to give up your entire life, throw your entire life away just
01:58to save them.
02:00Somebody can be struggling badly, and you can have real compassion for what they're going through,
02:05but also admitting that you staying there with them is destroying you.
02:13It is not your job to fix everything for another person.
02:17And that sounds so obvious to me now, but it wasn't obvious to me while I'm living it.
02:22Because a lot of times you go through something and you don't understand it until you're through it.
02:28Which is what I mean when I say that some things only make sense later.
02:34Because there's been plenty of other heartbreaks too for me, a lot of pains, a lot of betrayals,
02:39and people in my life who I really wanted to stay,
02:42but the situations ended completely different than how I hoped they would.
02:49In some of those moments, you think that losing something is the worst thing that could ever happen to you,
02:54but after some months or years go by, you look back at it and realize that the person you tried
03:01so desperately to keep
03:02would not fit the person you are now or the person you want to be.
03:05Because I look back and realize that she was bad for me.
03:09And although I couldn't leave, it's funny how happy I was that she cheated on me
03:13and left me for a guy that she knew from high school.
03:15Because that was my only way out and it was a blessing.
03:18And a lot of things that are the most painful things you go through,
03:22I'm not going to say end up being blessings,
03:24but they at least end up shaping you in ways that you can't expect.
03:28And in regards to that, I mean by making you wiser,
03:30by making up boundaries in the future,
03:32by teaching you what you truly love or deserve to be loved.
03:38Because I still have bad things that I would never call good.
03:40I don't think that you need to turn every painful thing into some life lesson or to some story
03:46or to some reason that it had to happen that way.
03:49But the difference is that something does not have to be good for something good to come from it.
03:56Because obviously that relationship was terrible for me,
03:59but it changed the way that I look at love.
04:01And I understand now that loving somebody doesn't require staying in a position that hurts you.
04:10I understand that another person's problems can be entirely real.
04:16But they don't have to be my responsibility.
04:19And honestly, I didn't really know that before.
04:22I kind of thought when you love someone,
04:24when you care about someone,
04:26you have to do everything you can to be there for them.
04:28And it's my fault too because I've always naturally been a giver, not a receiver.
04:32I've always naturally been a people pleaser.
04:34I do things for others.
04:36I do things for others that I would want for myself.
04:39I think one of the wisest things I ever learned is that people don't think the way you think.
04:43What you would do for someone doesn't mean they would do it for you.
04:46And it hurts when you learn that the hard way.
04:49So I hope you don't have to.
04:53Because you can't waste years of your life thinking about being better.
05:00You have to really trust your guts.
05:03I knew it was wrong for you.
05:06You know, you shouldn't have to blame yourself for this stuff either.
05:09Because I always think I should have left earlier.
05:11But then I remember the things that happened when I tried to leave.
05:15And if you're in a situation like that, I'm so sorry.
05:18Because it's one of those things that nobody truly understands unless they're in it.
05:22And if you are in it or have been in it, then I am truly sorry.
05:26Because a lot of people do not understand your pain.
05:29I do believe that if you don't go through something, it's a lot harder to truly grasp the reality.
05:35So your situation is completely valuable.
05:38And just because other people can't really understand how it felt, doesn't mean that your pain is worth any less.
05:48But I do know that as much as it hurts, it shows you ways to make sure it never happens
05:54again.
05:55So a lot of the worst things that happen to you, they're bad, yes.
05:58But they also help you make sure nothing like that ever happens to you or to people you love and
06:04around you if you're careful enough.
06:06And that's why I chose to express my stories.
06:09I chose to say the things I can't.
06:11Because if one other person is going through a situation like this, and say they're a month into what could
06:15have been the three-year relationship like I had,
06:17then they can learn to turn away.
06:21They can learn to put boundaries up.
06:23They can learn to respect themselves, to care about themselves instead of caring about someone else.
06:25So much that it makes them hurt themselves.
06:30Because your story can help others, just like mine has helped others too.
06:37And I hope that you can live long enough to see if the thing that you are losing means something
06:44that you would still want later.
06:47Because sometimes it takes losing something to realize that you're either okay without it or you really want it back.
06:51And right away you're going to want it back.
06:53Because whatever it is, whether you leave a job, leave a place, leave a person, you're so used to being
06:57there that your life doesn't feel familiar.
06:59But why does it have to feel familiar to be safe?
07:03Familiarity only feels safe because you're used to it.
07:05The unknown can be even more beautiful.
07:08But you just haven't gone into it.
07:10For example, I've never been here before.
07:12I made it to South Carolina.
07:13I'm in a new state every day.
07:14By the way, my Twitch is WeNeverGetYounger.
07:16I'm live every day of my entire life about this time, 6 p.m. Eastern.
07:21And I hope to see you in there.
07:24Because it's my dream to put my message out there to make people have a fun environment where they feel
07:28safe.
07:30And that's what my live streams are for.
07:31And that's what these videos are for.
07:33And if you're still watching these videos, then I appreciate you.
07:35I post one every single day.
07:36And I'm not perfect.
07:37I strive to be better every day.
07:39There's been heartbreaks which I wish I'd gotten over faster or handled better.
07:43Or situations that I could not imagine not having in my life.
07:47So I held on to them for too long.
07:49But now I know life keeps going after things that you thought would totally ruin it are gone.
07:57Because you will meet people that you never expected to come into your life.
08:00They never thought you'd meet.
08:02Things that you thought you needed start mattering a little less.
08:05And things that you never expected to care about become important.
08:08You cannot see any of that from right here where you are.
08:13But if you can learn to believe that something bad can eventually be used for something good.
08:20Then life will bless you in ways that you don't expect.
08:28And I mean you really have to have enough faith to say.
08:31Maybe I don't understand this right now.
08:33But maybe I will one day.
08:36And it's funny how I really think the smartest people accept that they know less.
08:42And what I mean by that is I think the more that you learn about your life, about your perspective,
08:49the more things you go through, whether they are love or heartbreak or anything,
08:52the more you see how broad all of this is.
08:56How many different things can combine elements to make it shape in certain ways, shapes and forms.
09:01I mean if you apply this to anything in your life, whether it is math or your job or anything,
09:06the more you learn, the more you learn about the world, about philosophy, the little you realize how much you
09:09know.
09:11And at the end of the day, you're only one person with one perspective.
09:13And you can always learn something from another person.
09:16Which is why you shouldn't assume that you know it all right now.
09:20If you're in depression, this won't be like this forever.
09:23If you're in a heartbreak, this won't be like this forever.
09:26But for some reason, we are so egotistical in the present moment that we believe right now is how we'll
09:31always feel.
09:32But the past has proven that.
09:34Because if all feelings lasted forever, then you would still be equally hurt from everything that ever happened to you.
09:41But you're not.
09:42And that's proof that feelings are fleeting.
09:44That's proof that you can survive leaving this toxic relationship or toxic job or toxic environment.
09:51It's proof that you will be okay.
09:53And that's hard to believe because how could I be okay without something that's in my life forever that I
09:59feel like I need?
10:00Well, you've proven it in the past.
10:03So maybe it is time that you really look at whatever it is in your life that has been hurting
10:08you.
10:09And think about how your life will look five years from now if you leave it.
10:14And this isn't just persons or people or places.
10:17This could be bad habits too.
10:19If you're addicted to something that is not good for you.
10:22Maybe one time more won't work.
10:24Sure.
10:24But if you do it every day in the next five years, how will it look?
10:30Because it's so much easier to choose what's easy now instead of what's best for you later.
10:35But future you will be here.
10:37And it's hard to picture them, but they will.
10:39And they're counting on you right now.
10:41So at all costs, choose whatever it is that makes future you's life better.
10:46Because at the end of the day, that is how you create a meaningful life.
11:05So let's go to the end of the day.
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