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Fun
Transcript
00:03Untie him, Gemma.
00:06Nicola!
00:09It's not what it looks like.
00:13What else could it look like?
00:15It's a joke, isn't it? It's a prank.
00:17We got you, didn't we? Like Beedle.
00:19Do you remember what Beedle's about? I used to love a bit of Beedle.
00:22We'll escort you out, girls.
00:24We'll let your sister explain the situation to George while you explain to me.
00:28Let's go.
00:35It's lovely to see you again.
00:44I'm sorry. I have to go.
00:46I know what I did and I know I should take responsibility, but I can't.
00:50You're just going to have to let me go.
00:51Amy, I'm not going to file your confession.
00:56So let's just go somewhere quiet and talk this through.
01:00Yeah.
01:06You can check your change, if you like, we're not thieves.
01:09Just kidnappers.
01:11Now, before you set off into the sunset, are you injured?
01:16Injured?
01:17Injured?
01:17Your daughter just nearly cut my Jacobs off.
01:19But are you injured?
01:20Yes, all right.
01:22Perfect.
01:23Then you'll hear me when I tell you that this isn't the last time you'll see us, or my granddaughter.
01:27It's over.
01:29It's over.
01:31Understood?
01:33Good.
01:34I didn't touch Megan up.
01:36I wouldn't.
01:38I wouldn't.
01:42He goes to police.
01:44I can't go to prison.
01:46I can't go to prison.
01:46My air stuff is terrible in stagnant climates.
01:48I can't even use a public toilet.
01:50How am I going to defecate in front of a cellmate?
01:52Well, it's too late now.
01:54You should have left this to Ned for when he comes home.
01:56All your sister does is make things worse.
01:59Oh, he did.
02:01Oh, I'm toast.
02:02Oh.
02:02What the problem?
02:03Harry.
02:04Oh.
02:05What are you doing here?
02:06Oh, he's just passing, darling.
02:07And Nancy.
02:09Oh.
02:10Oh.
02:10Now I'm really worried.
02:12Look at you.
02:13Oh.
02:14You need me to be my dad, don't you?
02:15Listen, I'll just pop into the pub for my mate's birthday.
02:18You can come for one, can't you?
02:19Meet my new girlfriend.
02:20Maybe just for one.
02:23Yes.
02:24What happened?
02:25What are you doing?
02:28Nicola?
02:30You can't lie forever.
02:31Come on.
02:35I deserve an explanation.
02:40Because if that lad goes down your whole bill...
02:43Oh, he's stupid, George B. Ain't that stupid?
02:46Good.
02:47OK, then.
02:49Now you can tell me who the hell he is.
02:52He's my niece's boyfriend.
02:55And he needed teaching a lesson.
02:57Well, if you trust me, that's all you need to know.
03:00No, Nic.
03:00That's not enough.
03:01Not nearly enough.
03:03Has this got something to do with your dad?
03:05Because I've been over there defending you to your mum,
03:07and then I walk in on that.
03:08You don't need to defend me to her.
03:10She was the one who needed defending.
03:12From my dad.
03:14But yet again, I'm the villain.
03:17Eh?
03:19Do you know what?
03:20Can you leave me alone, please?
03:27So, I don't really know what a flower girl does,
03:30but I do know if you see my uncle Tucker,
03:33you can chuck a couple at his head,
03:34because he still owes me 20 quid from 20 years ago.
03:36I'll see what I can do.
03:38All right, good.
03:39Oh, she'll love it.
03:41And she'll love the expensive dress her dad's going to buy her even more, right?
03:45We'd better get her move on.
03:47The date's been moved forward.
03:49September the 6th, so, uh, just dust your hat off.
03:53What are you two doing today?
03:54Well, I was supposed to have a lunch date with Clive.
03:57Oh, Councillor Clive. Very nice.
04:00But, you know, what with Mum's peacock being pulverised
04:03and George dumping ivy on her,
04:05I think I'm going to have to cancel.
04:06Annie's going to be too much for her today.
04:08Well, we'll take Annie if you want.
04:09And Ollie, if he's about.
04:11Well, he's on a play date.
04:13Oh, that's good. It's even easier.
04:15We'll do a bit of lunch, have a look at some dresses,
04:17and then, uh, you can go on your date if you want.
04:20Thanks. I owe you one.
04:22I owe you about 3,000.
04:24We quits.
04:25Right.
04:26Well, better go and get changed.
04:27Come on, you can help me choose a dress.
04:30I'm thinking something pink.
04:35I don't get it.
04:36I thought you'd take the abodex in.
04:39Yeah, you know what?
04:40I was going to, and then on my way to the station,
04:43I changed my mind.
04:45No, Annie.
04:48What you did was wrong.
04:50Well, that boy deserved it.
04:53So I told them, I'm stepping away from the case.
04:56Look, with everything that your dad and Denise have gone through,
05:00and with Jordan too,
05:02I couldn't hand that evidence in.
05:04I couldn't do that to your family.
05:05I couldn't do that to you.
05:08It's...
05:11I'm like you, Amy.
05:14You're a good person.
05:16And yeah, I have a badge, but I've got a heart too.
05:20And if we're in this together, and we're going to be friends,
05:22and we're going to keep this quiet,
05:23then we have to trust each other.
05:26Just go home, unpack your bag, and act like normal.
05:29I'll go.
05:32Act like none of this has even happened.
05:34Can you do that?
05:37Good.
05:38I'm on the same side.
05:40I've got you.
05:41Anything you need.
05:43I'm your friend.
05:45I'm here for you.
05:46Okay?
05:50Hello.
06:00Hello, Amy.
06:16Hi, Amy.
06:16This call is from a person currently in prison in Australia.
06:19the united kingdom if you don't wish to accept this call end it now please hold the line
06:28teddy george no i'm not trying to be funny mate but um now's not a good time she can
06:33answer you is she all right today's a funny day for her so if she won't answer just keep an
06:41eye
06:41on her yeah well it's a bit late for that her sister's arrived with well a problem
06:47and her mum arrived too he's he's ned there who anyway listen you warned me off her her mum's come
07:01over here and done the same thing now i just walked in on her doing something something tells me today's
07:08a lot darker than she's letting on so is there something i need to know i can't tell you but
07:15she can and if she loves her she's gonna have to eventually
07:26look at this stunner
07:30dode dode imagine if these two had a little baby boy our young daniel craig and 80s sharday here
07:35would be breaking hearts all over like a a craig david co walcott mashup i'll say they're
07:41only two mixed race blokes you know what no just you're fancied wow where you been hiding these
07:49two then yeah that's better you may be a mitchell but your organs too
07:57we have very nice standards look at my little bonnie fair all grown up oh are you still into all
08:04that
08:04bilbo bagging stuff it's um it's bilbo yeah i am oh good bet you don't fit into that little dwarf
08:10outfit you used to rock around in though do you they're called hobbit it's been a while since you've
08:15seen him yeah yeah a lot longer for me yeah you look great man all of you can't believe you're
08:20actually here i know did you speak to mom happy birthday coach um this is my auntie jem hello my
08:34auntie joe's and this is my nan rose you have a nan well uh yeah too busy having fun with
08:43handsome
08:43friends like you to be talking about his old nan right nice to meet you likewise lovely to meet you
08:48joe joe cojo jem what it's cojo oh oh i'm so sorry i'm very old i've got hard of hearing
08:54and uh
08:55you know i think everyone don't know it's kojo's birthday today so we're going to go go-karting in
08:59a minute but um listen we won't be that long you can hang around right oh no no no look
09:03we'll see
09:03how it goes but um in the meantime uh scotch and dry yeah no no uh gina can fill me
09:09in on what you've
09:10been up to yeah be nice to get back into the family loop great yeah okay i'll tell you what
09:17the
09:18problem is i'm in a wheelchair mate so okay so so if the shelves are too high then i can't
09:23reach
09:24them can i so unless you want to build me a ramp no no i don't want to quote on
09:27a ramp i'm saying
09:28that is there chlorine in your gene pool please hang up on me everything all right yeah it will be
09:37once i set fire to this building yard there better be chocolate in that uh even better
09:44we are gonna do some proactive parents studying together
09:53i know i'm gonna kill and die for this baby so i don't need a book to tell me if
09:59they're wet or
10:00hungry when they cry okay well there's a lot more to being a parent than changing nappies pen yeah yeah
10:05i know there's there's heartburn stretch marks and violent mood swings which in a minute this building
10:10firm we're gonna find out about sometimes pen it feels like you're more interested in the new shop
10:17than the baby
10:20i forgot to get milk um i'll see you later it was just an idea
10:26that's all
10:37ah
10:43scared the life out of me what are you doing hitting you on your toes mate
10:47man of enemies you got yeah
10:52hey come on then what puzzle new solving let's pick up no no no no it's nothing it's never nothing
10:58come on
11:00all right um
11:02um do you think uh me and career are meant to be
11:12see no no no no no no no no no come on go on go on but i still love
11:16her you know i haven't stopped
11:18loving her and avali she she thinks i've still got a chance surely it's worth one last big gesture to
11:55find out for sure
11:59i was worried before but now i'm really worried nick you promised me
12:05that we'd be honest to each other
12:09yeah he seems to think you've got something you need to tell me and if you love me you will
12:19but i've hardly heard anything about your family despite the fact you spoke well with your mum last
12:24year you've had nothing to do with them and then they show up there with some idiot
12:30and you're willing to risk our entire future
12:35what
12:39why is your ex telling me there's more going on and why is your mum
12:42telling me that i should run a million miles from you like there's some ancient feud going on
12:48what is this
12:51because it's not just about your dad passing away is it is it
12:57no
13:03i'm the reason that he's dead
13:08now come on are you sure you enjoyed it i did i just i'm just not used to fancy that's
13:14all
13:15you know i don't think you know how fancy you are
13:18or how gorgeous
13:19oh
13:22annie
13:26sorry tried to get to stop the milkshake i think it's the e-numbers
13:30i'm max i have my hands down
13:32fly nice to meet you
13:33a little handshake lovely eyes you don't want to save me on a date next time do you
13:37don't threaten me with a good night out max
13:40right then see you later okay bye all hi take care uh right well let's go home and stick the
13:49kettle on and then you two can tell me if you found a dress yeah
13:59i only went around to give jody a birthday present you know ever since i've moved out she was the
14:06only reason i'd step foot in that house and i'd been knocking for ages and there was no answer and
14:13i was worried you know so i used my key and i let myself in
14:22and that's when i heard it
14:25my mum's muffled screams i thought they were being robbed
14:31so i ran up the stairs and
14:35that's when i saw him
14:39my dad
14:42on top of her
14:45she was just she was curled up
14:50like she knew the drill
14:55and then he when he saw me he went white as a sheet
15:00you know like like the mask had been pulled
15:09i mean i know my dad was a lot of things
15:14but that
15:16oh just i
15:19i lost it i i went for him you know i i picked up a lamp
15:24off the side and she she stood in front of him trying to protect him
15:28she she was screaming at me it was none of my business
15:34she was my mum you know of course it was my business
15:42and he he reeked a whiskey and i told him that if he didn't get out then i'd call teddy
15:54so he grabbed his car keys and my mum she was she was crying and saying that he'd had too
16:00much to
16:01drink but i didn't care i just i screamed and i chased him down the stairs and she was holding
16:07on so tight to my arm that i dragged her outside with me
16:14he drove off so fast he nearly hit both of us
16:20then we we just watched him
16:24swerving off down the road
16:30she turned to me and she said that if anything happened to him
16:37she'd never forgive me
16:43and i told her that she she would be better off if he hit a tree
16:53two miles down the road
16:57his car flipped
17:00and he died
17:05and you know she
17:08well she kept her words
17:12because she never she never did forgive me
17:19she said
17:22if i if i hadn't done that then he'd still be here she could still play happy families you know
17:32and from that night she
17:35she tried to convince jim that it was me
17:38jody was just a kid at the time but
17:42as soon as she was old enough she tried to convince her to
17:49but only i knew what he was really like
17:53and i and i never told them and i never will
18:02i did not break my family
18:06it was already broke and all i did was try to protect my mum
18:14hey i'm so sorry you had to go through that
18:17carry a full of shoes
18:24you all right
18:27maybe if you actually eat that you might feel a bit better right
18:34all right
18:36what are you looking at nothing look do yourself a favor and just stay out my way yeah low life
18:44boy pack it in whatever you've got going on don't take it out on him all right
18:56if i see another one maybe we should wait for the boys to get back
18:58they've only just gone yeah but it was so lovely seeing them though weren't it
19:02a family reunion and a kid that then had worst days look i've seen the boys now let's go
19:09well last thing i need is another dose of your sister come on you've got nothing to be ashamed
19:15about and i've got you okay nick what are you doing here you texted me three times saying
19:20you're in here with harry and wanted to say goodbye your mascara's run you've been crying
19:24no but i will be if you poke my eye out thank you and i'm sorry about today it's just
19:30to trust
19:30you that's all oh now we're all here oh we might as well get our story straight just for the
19:36worst case scenario we can do a family mind map i love a mind map used them to get rider
19:42reading
19:42and to get bugs without biting brilliant criminal conspiracy down on paper it's great idea yeah
19:48yeah i'll be at the bar oh let me get these girls let me out let me know please
20:02apparently babies need a lot of attention who knew is that the baby book of course i'm excited about
20:11the baby then i just i don't know i just i was trying to get the shop sorted because i
20:17know that
20:18i'm gonna have less time when i have to change radioactive nappies okay from now on i'm gonna be
20:28more involved all right yeah all right um good because i've actually signed us up to a hypnobirthing
20:38class what i'm having a c-section then what good is that gonna do i know i know it's um
20:47it's about
20:48relaxation meditation keeping calm under pressure you said you're excited so let's do something exciting
20:56together not for me for the baby
21:11honestly i thought he separated his meat from his tooth edge and you know what hand on heart
21:15all i could think about was a mess
21:19not worried about the attempted murder she's just thinking about the cleanup job
21:26look we're leaving soon might be your last chance to make peace you know while we're all here
21:32yeah your little plan is about as subtle as a sledgehammer yeah but today we all work together
21:38maybe it's a sign i've missed you we both have and i know mum has too deep deep down oh
21:44lucky 17.
21:48it's fine
21:58couldn't miss out on being the better person could you darling
22:03you're sat in my local i didn't ask you to come in here and jemma came to me
22:11and here we are happy families he seems nice he's not teddy though is he he was a good man
22:22what would you know about good men
22:28hey you should have kept a closer eye on your granddaughter what happened to breaking the cycle
22:34hey you always were a maudlin child always fighting a fight you never had to
22:40i thought you'd grow out of it i thought wrong
22:46i love you nicola i always will
22:51and i spent my life trying to forgive you but you have made it impossible
22:59so the next time your sisters want help send them packing yeah because i don't want to lose them too
23:06because we both know that's what you're good at
23:13if you just ever touch that darling you look tired i remember what i've always told you
23:19you can be tired you should never look it
23:42look i'm sorry all right i know we've just spoken and agreed but slow down i'm gonna take a breath
23:48i don't think i can do this i've just seen joel and i tried to act normal but vicky's all
23:52right
23:52through me i know she did amy you're a good person right that's why this is hard a good person
23:57i'm
23:58calling you again crying leaning on you again when i could have killed him he could have killed vicky
24:03and he could have ruined your mate's life for good i have seen bad people get lucky and good people
24:10suffer this world isn't fair but you are lucky you have someone on your side that can help you
24:18do you have someone on your side that can help you have someone on your side that can help you
24:21don't hesitate okay
24:27you're right i am lucky to have you
24:32come on
24:39i love you all right you know that
24:44i'm proud of you for trying with mom i'm sorry i didn't
24:47no no look go on i'll see you next time you need some idiot castrated
24:53it's a lovely place you found here i'm gonna see why you call it home
24:57i love you
25:01dick la promise me no more secrets right yeah i promise
25:10it's supposed to meet your sisters
25:11yeah don't worry i don't think we'll see them for a long time
25:44I'm fine.
25:51Oh, is this the big gesture then, yeah?
25:53Yeah, mate.
25:54Come on, what's the damage?
26:00Hold up.
26:01Is that what I think it is?
26:02Yeah.
26:04If it's meant to be, then might as well make the gesture big as one, eh?
26:08When are you going to do it?
26:10Not on the present, I guess.
26:14Fine.
26:28Who's that?
26:30No one.
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