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00:00:09American Beach House
00:00:12I know a place where dreams come true
00:00:15Summer nights with an ocean view
00:00:19Gonna give you a tour
00:00:21Of our American Beach House
00:00:26Cruisin' the beach where my girls
00:00:28Here we go in my new hot two-piece
00:00:32Oh, boys are lookin' at me
00:00:36Like I'm the next big thing
00:00:38Oh, put your hands up
00:00:42Oh, it's a party
00:00:45Oh, in our American Beach House
00:00:50If you're down for some Malibu heat
00:00:54You beach girls, you're in for a treat
00:00:57Live it up with my boys
00:01:00In our American Beach House
00:01:05Don't be afraid, we're alive and we're young
00:01:08Let's make some memories, let's make some
00:01:11Crazy hot love
00:01:13In our American Beach House
00:01:18In our American Beach House
00:01:19Oh, put your hands up
00:01:24It's a party, oh, in our American Beach House
00:01:31Oh, put your hands up
00:01:34Oh, it's a party, oh, oh, in our American Beach House
00:01:45Put your hands up, it's a party all in my American Beach House, American Beach House.
00:01:59I'm good.
00:02:04Hey, buddy, can you hold this for a second?
00:02:05Yeah.
00:02:07You won.
00:02:09It was like you and you, five.
00:02:10We all won.
00:02:12Yeah.
00:02:12Did you guys see it online?
00:02:14I didn't know.
00:02:15I didn't know.
00:02:17I didn't know.
00:02:17I didn't know it would be everyone.
00:02:18Come on.
00:02:19Hey, Molly, where are you going?
00:02:20We all won.
00:02:37Hello?
00:02:38Huh.
00:02:39I could get used to this.
00:02:41It's not bad.
00:02:42It's not bad.
00:02:43Not bad?
00:02:44Oh, my gosh.
00:02:45Sorry, guys.
00:02:46Must have been something I ate.
00:02:48Something you ate.
00:02:49Yeah, you know, I noticed something back there in the van.
00:02:53WWW TMI.
00:02:55What?
00:02:56Way, way too much information.
00:02:58Speaking of information, I know why I'm here, but are you guys winners too?
00:03:04You know exactly what does that mean and how does that work?
00:03:09If I could have your attention please, I think I can answer all of your questions.
00:03:15First of all, hello.
00:03:18Hi.
00:03:19Hi.
00:03:19And on behalf of Winfrey, the New Films International Digital Download Service, welcome.
00:03:24Hello.
00:03:24My name is Miss Maureen and I'm the house manager.
00:03:28You may also recognize me from the winner's notification download.
00:03:32Well, first of all, let's welcome you all.
00:03:34Charles, I hear that you're interested in technology and computers.
00:03:39A little.
00:03:41Okay.
00:03:41And Johnny, you're a college athlete?
00:03:43Yes, ma'am.
00:03:44Vincent, free med, yes?
00:03:46Absolutely.
00:03:47Right.
00:03:48Lola, have you decided on your masters yet?
00:03:50Not yet.
00:03:52Maggie, how's your fashion line coming along?
00:03:54Fantastic.
00:03:55You should check it out.
00:03:57And Jenna, I'm so glad you could get time off your teaching job to be with us.
00:04:01Well, as you can see, we've all researched you thoroughly as a prerequisite to your being invited
00:04:06to this beach house.
00:04:07I'm here to make sure everything during your prize winning stay runs smoothly.
00:04:12As all expense paid prize winners, each of you is entitled to your run of the house.
00:04:16Anything you want from the fridge, freezer, bar.
00:04:19Access to all the games, toys, pool, fire pit, and 40 feet of the best beachfront property
00:04:24the United States has to offer for the next seven days.
00:04:28Two rules.
00:04:30One, you all have to share in the prize.
00:04:32If one of you goes home early, you all have to go home early.
00:04:38And two, no ocean swimming after dark.
00:04:42So anything you want to know about the house, ask me.
00:04:46Anything you want to know about the beach, ask Joe, the lifeguard.
00:04:50You'll find him on the beach from sunrise to sundown at the lifeguard shack.
00:05:01Those are the rules.
00:05:02Any questions?
00:05:03Great.
00:05:04Well, room assignments are on the board.
00:05:07All right.
00:05:07I say, let's stash all of our stuff in our rooms, heat up the hot tub, and the liquor cabinet.
00:05:12Let's get this party started, shall we?
00:05:14Woo!
00:05:14I'm in.
00:05:15Have me at liquor cabinet.
00:05:17Hells with a motherfucking yeah!
00:05:19We can do this.
00:05:20Wow.
00:05:29Okay, so I haven't decided which bikini I want to wear yet.
00:05:34You mean there's options?
00:05:35Of course!
00:05:36Oh, I like this purple one.
00:05:37On me or on you?
00:05:39Really?
00:05:39Yeah!
00:05:40These are my designs.
00:05:41These are like samples.
00:05:42So I figured it would be a perfect time to test them out.
00:05:46But I think you left your steamer trunk in the hallway.
00:05:48Oh!
00:05:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:49I'll get it later.
00:05:50Dude, look.
00:05:52It's the girls' bedroom.
00:05:53You want to watch?
00:05:54What?
00:05:54You can see everything?
00:05:56Charlotte, you're such a pervert, man.
00:05:59So do you want to watch or not?
00:06:01I'm down.
00:06:02Maybe.
00:06:03Depends who's getting undressed.
00:06:05All right, ladies.
00:06:06Let's strip down and suit up.
00:06:10We'll give it a few minutes and it'll be all of them.
00:06:14There you go.
00:06:15Wait.
00:06:16Before you take anything else off.
00:06:18What?
00:06:18What's up?
00:06:19You know how in those reality shows they have like hidden cameras all over?
00:06:24I have a feeling about that Technart.
00:06:26He might have come in here and snuck a camera somewhere.
00:06:29You know, he absolutely was the first one in the house.
00:06:32Yeah.
00:06:32But I don't know about you, but I'm not about to be recorded without my knowledge.
00:06:37Check out this app on my phone.
00:06:40It recognizes remote camera frequencies as if it were the receiver.
00:06:43What?
00:06:44Oh, yeah.
00:06:44If there's a camera in here, it'll pick it up.
00:06:46What are they doing?
00:06:47Who cares?
00:06:49Let me see if I can.
00:06:50Oh.
00:06:51What was that?
00:06:53Really?
00:06:54There's a camera in here.
00:06:55Oh, shh.
00:06:57Okay, okay.
00:06:57It's on right now.
00:06:59Those perverts are watching us right now.
00:07:01Yeah.
00:07:04Dude, that Lola girl, man.
00:07:06She looks so...
00:07:06But if we report it, we might all have to go home.
00:07:09Oh, no, no, no.
00:07:10That's not happening.
00:07:10We just got here.
00:07:12Okay.
00:07:12First, detection.
00:07:14Then, revenge.
00:07:15Okay.
00:07:16I can work with that.
00:07:17You know what?
00:07:19They're watching.
00:07:20Let's give them something to watch.
00:07:21And talk about.
00:07:23Music, please.
00:07:24Okay.
00:07:37Look at everything just bouncing.
00:07:39It's just like having clouds.
00:07:43This is what they think girls do in real life.
00:07:48Beautiful.
00:07:48Yeah, man.
00:07:50Jeez.
00:07:52Damn.
00:07:57Hey, hypnoboy.
00:07:59Transfixation, lad.
00:08:00You in there?
00:08:01Hey, the problem is I'm the same way.
00:08:02Just so you know, if you're talking about Jenna, I'm gonna have to kill you.
00:08:07No.
00:08:07I'm more of a Maggie type, man.
00:08:19No.
00:08:19Oh, no.
00:08:21What the fuck happened?
00:08:21It was just getting interesting.
00:08:23Okay.
00:08:24No, no, no.
00:08:24Seriously.
00:08:25Uh-oh.
00:08:27Um...
00:08:28You think they knew that we were watching them?
00:08:29Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
00:08:32There's a big fuck you from her right there.
00:08:34This is not good, gentlemen.
00:08:36I mean, luckily, I can rewind this and I can replay everything.
00:08:41But you guys probably don't want to be in the room, because...
00:08:45I mean, if you do, that's fine.
00:08:46I really don't want to be in the room.
00:08:47I can always use an extra hand.
00:08:48I will gladly leave the room.
00:08:50I've been practicing these new techniques.
00:08:52You want us to leave, Charlie?
00:08:53No, you can stay.
00:08:53You want some alone time?
00:08:54Rub one out, please.
00:08:55No.
00:08:58No, no.
00:09:08No.
00:09:10No, no.
00:09:14No, no.
00:09:14No.
00:09:15No, no.
00:09:18No, no.
00:09:19No.
00:09:41Oh, man, I can't take it.
00:09:45Which one?
00:09:47Maggie, the brunette.
00:09:49Hmm.
00:09:50Good taste, but, you know, there's not a bad apple in that whole bunch there, buddy.
00:09:54It's so frustrating. I don't think she even knows I exist.
00:09:58Well, then you have to make sure she does.
00:10:02Wait, no offense.
00:10:04You think I'm going to take romantic advice from an old lifeguard?
00:10:08Oh, nice.
00:10:10I'll answer that in two parts.
00:10:12Number one, I'm hung like a orangutan.
00:10:15Hey, big guy, you got enough air down there?
00:10:18Number two, all this talk about how men think that women think that size doesn't matter, it's BS, man.
00:10:26I mean, look at me. I'm an okay-looking guy.
00:10:28I mean, I got a pretty good physique, natural tan and everything, but all I do is sit up there
00:10:33in that tower and wait for them to come to me.
00:10:35See, if I don't mind saying so myself, I have saved my fair share of relationships.
00:10:41Because when I'm not up in that tower, I'm a marriage counselor in Santa Monica.
00:10:46Dr. Joe, the lifeguard, marriage counselor McKay, at your service.
00:10:50You're kidding, right?
00:10:51About which part? The marriage counseling part?
00:10:53No, about the part getting more sex than a man can handle in a lifetime.
00:10:58It's true, man. It's true.
00:11:01But I'll be honest with you, it's not enough that you want them.
00:11:05They have to pick you.
00:11:07So how do we make that happen here?
00:11:09Okay, now listen up, because I'm only going to tell you this once, all right?
00:11:11I want you to go down to the pier, get a candle,
00:11:15and then tonight I want you to stand outside of her bedroom window.
00:11:18Not too close, mind you.
00:11:20Yeah, don't want to creep her out.
00:11:23Are you sure about this?
00:11:24Just stand outside of her window, okay?
00:11:27With your lit candle, selfless in your vigil.
00:11:31Through rain or shine.
00:11:39Whoa.
00:11:40Whoa.
00:11:42Dude.
00:11:42Wow.
00:11:42Dude.
00:11:42That's cool.
00:11:45Woo!
00:11:46Come on.
00:11:50Woo!
00:11:52Yeah, buddy!
00:11:53Awesome!
00:11:56I like it.
00:12:01Whoa.
00:12:06All right.
00:12:07Let's do it again.
00:12:10Whoa.
00:12:21Bye-bye.
00:12:28Good night, ladies.
00:12:29Good night.
00:12:31Oh, oh, oh!
00:12:33What?
00:12:34No.
00:12:34It's a seal.
00:12:35I know.
00:12:37Hmm.
00:12:41Uh, well, I'm going to turn in.
00:12:44I will see you in the morning.
00:12:47Ladies, good night.
00:12:49Good night.
00:12:49Good night.
00:12:50What about your jacket?
00:12:51Keep it.
00:12:53So I can recognize you, next time I see you.
00:13:14Mind if I join you?
00:13:15Of course.
00:13:16Get in.
00:13:17And, uh, this is one of the perks of the job.
00:13:20Next to meeting nice new people like you.
00:13:22So what exactly do you do?
00:13:24Oh, I'm a lot of different things.
00:13:26Uh, house manager.
00:13:29Sometimes cook.
00:13:30Yoga instructor.
00:13:32Uh, tour guide.
00:13:33Friend, if someone ever needs one.
00:13:35I'd like to try the yoga if I can.
00:13:377 a.m.
00:13:38Out here tomorrow morning.
00:13:39Oh.
00:13:40And when's the second class?
00:13:42If anyone would know second class, it'd be.
00:13:46Nice.
00:13:48Oh, God.
00:13:50Oh, oh, oh.
00:13:51That was a big splash.
00:13:53Shh, shh, shh.
00:13:54Ah!
00:13:55No fear.
00:13:57Ah!
00:13:58Ah!
00:13:58Ah!
00:13:59I do like four-point.
00:14:01Especially who knows what he's doing.
00:14:03Of course.
00:14:05Okay, so, I have a confession to make.
00:14:10I haven't actually done it.
00:14:15You've got to be kidding me.
00:14:17I know.
00:14:18I'm a nasty little teaser girl.
00:14:20But I was raised old-fashioned, so, yeah, I'm a virgin.
00:14:25And I'm okay with that.
00:14:26But I do everything else.
00:14:29Not really everything.
00:14:31So, you're waiting for the honeymoon?
00:14:33No.
00:14:34Nothing like that.
00:14:36When I meet the right guy, I'll know it.
00:14:38What about you, Lola?
00:14:40Lover.
00:14:41Boyfriend.
00:14:42Ex-husband.
00:14:43Ex-murderer.
00:14:44I've actually never been in love.
00:14:47I don't even know what love feels like.
00:14:51Miss Maureen?
00:14:53Oh, just Maureen.
00:14:55Um, let's just say that love and I are old and dear friends.
00:15:02But there's nothing quite like the feeling of being in love or giving to someone.
00:15:10Or the high of being in love.
00:15:12I guess, I don't have a clue.
00:15:17Trust yourself.
00:15:18You'll know.
00:15:21Well, I guess I'm going to call it a night or take a long walk on the beach.
00:15:25I haven't decided yet.
00:15:26Yeah, well, bedtime for me.
00:15:30And then yoga at the ass crack of dawn.
00:15:34Me too.
00:15:36Thanks for your advice, Maureen.
00:15:37Thanks, Maureen.
00:16:09Come out.
00:16:14Come out.
00:16:15It's okay.
00:16:24I'm sorry if I creeped you out.
00:16:27Um, I was looking at Maggie.
00:16:31She's so beautiful.
00:16:33And, well, now, you.
00:16:41There's nothing wrong with looking.
00:16:44Have you tried telling her?
00:16:47Yeah, I could never do that.
00:16:49Well, never say never.
00:16:51I think you can man up quite nicely if given the chance.
00:16:59Could you hand me my rope on your way up?
00:17:06Yeah.
00:17:29That's your robe?
00:17:30The blue one.
00:17:54You could just leave it here.
00:18:11I'm just going to.
00:18:12Come here.
00:18:13I'm just going to.
00:18:21Come here.
00:18:27I'm just going to.
00:18:28I'm just going to.
00:18:31I'm just going to.
00:18:56Hey, it's you.
00:19:01I thought I'd seen all I was going to see of you tonight.
00:19:04What are you doing out here?
00:19:06I couldn't sleep.
00:19:08Why not?
00:19:09I was thinking about you.
00:19:11Oh?
00:19:13Jenna, Jenna, wherefore art thou?
00:19:18With love's light wings, these stony limits cannot hold the love out.
00:19:24Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
00:19:29And what satisfaction canst thou have tonight?
00:19:33Well, he didn't write it like this, but Shakespeare, he would say, come down to me.
00:19:39Um, yeah, give me a minute.
00:19:41Come on, I got you.
00:19:43I'll catch you.
00:19:44Are you sure?
00:19:45Yeah.
00:19:46Come down.
00:19:47Okay.
00:19:48Piece of cake.
00:19:49Ready?
00:19:50Ready.
00:19:51Ready?
00:19:51Go.
00:19:53Are you okay?
00:19:54The crotch is on my face.
00:19:58Was that catch me or crotch me?
00:20:01Crotch is on my face.
00:20:04Crotch me.
00:20:05Got it.
00:20:05I kind of like it.
00:20:07Wait.
00:20:08You like that?
00:20:09Wait.
00:20:09Shh.
00:20:10Stop.
00:20:11Somebody's coming.
00:20:12He's coming.
00:20:13He's coming.
00:20:14He's coming.
00:20:22He's coming.
00:20:24Are you okay, dear?
00:20:26How do you roll by yourself?
00:20:27Oh, um, yeah.
00:20:31Mm-hmm.
00:20:32Yeah.
00:20:34Uh-huh.
00:20:36Oh, you happen to be sitting right here on my favorite walking path to the beach.
00:20:41Uh-huh.
00:20:46Uh-huh.
00:20:47Uh-huh.
00:20:48Uh-huh.
00:20:49Uh-huh.
00:20:51Uh-huh.
00:20:51Uh-huh.
00:20:52I need to exercise to burn off all my excess sexual energy.
00:20:58Uh-huh.
00:20:59Uh-huh.
00:21:00Uh-huh.
00:21:00So, uh, did you come here with a group before?
00:21:04Uh, you're by yourself.
00:21:06Um, I, it's just, no, I mean, uh, it's just me.
00:21:12Uh-huh.
00:21:13Uh-huh.
00:21:14Oh, poor dear, you're shivering.
00:21:18Is there anything, anything else, else I can, uh, that I can do for you, ma'am?
00:21:25Ma'am?
00:21:26Oh.
00:21:27Ah, God!
00:21:28Would you want a blanket?
00:21:29Uh-huh.
00:21:31Oh, no, no.
00:21:32Oh, here.
00:21:32No, thank you.
00:21:33Here, take my shawl.
00:21:34Uh-huh.
00:21:34No, no.
00:21:35Uh-huh.
00:21:36Uh-huh.
00:21:38Well, is that better?
00:21:40Uh-huh.
00:21:42Uh-huh.
00:21:43Uh-huh.
00:21:49Oh.
00:21:50Oh.
00:21:50Ah.
00:21:50Beek-a-boo.
00:21:52I see you.
00:21:56Oh, was it as good for you as much for me, young fella?
00:22:01Oh, me too.
00:22:05Oh, Jesus, lady.
00:22:07Oh, Jesus.
00:22:08I'm going to leave you my number with Miss Maureen, okay?
00:22:15And I'm right down the road in the assisted living facility.
00:22:20Okay.
00:22:21And, young lady, you need to share what's important.
00:22:24Bye.
00:22:26Thanks.
00:22:26I guess.
00:22:30What do you have to say for yourself?
00:22:33Thank you, I guess.
00:22:43Celebrate the moment you're not alone.
00:22:47Sing because you want to show your love.
00:22:53Didi, didi, didi, didi, didi, didi, didi.
00:22:56Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
00:23:03do, do, do, do, do, do.
00:23:04See that we're free.
00:23:06What can do to most anything.
00:23:08No one runs better than we.
00:23:10On the beach.
00:23:12That we're out just waiting for.
00:23:14Don't you hear it go.
00:23:15Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
00:23:28help first of all I'm not lounging around I'm cooling down after my yoga
00:23:34workout okay you caught me I'm icing my cooch trying to see if it'll over work
00:23:40again I think I split something in half I need to work on my downward dog you
00:23:47know I mean yeah yeah okay help me up help me up no not you all right you're
00:23:56done what do you need my help with well Lola was jogging on the beach and she
00:24:01found a baby seal in distress she went and got Joe the lifeguard and he called
00:24:11the vet really nice he took the seal to the marine mammal Institute and now Lola
00:24:23wants to throw a benefit party to help raise money to kill the seal how'd I do
00:24:30party oh yeah I'm in
00:24:35well Maggie's in so am I you're already really yep I'm thinking we can do it here
00:24:42out here yeah yeah I'm seeing a live van maybe a couple hundred people cocktails a
00:24:50rave oh yes it's gonna be good I mean there's a whole stipulation about the
00:24:54try not to break anything rule but I'm sure we can talk that over with Maureen
00:24:59so you've done this before oh yeah yeah it's just like a runway show without the
00:25:04models less bitching involved and who knows what else I can wrangle up by Friday
00:25:08night by the way I decided the parts on Friday hey excuse me you got a quick
00:25:23second um sure what's up nice to meet you man
00:25:27Mandy West friends call me Andy West Coast it's a little joke I'm a talent agent
00:25:32it's literally my job go around scouting people look for fresh faces like yourself
00:25:36my card yeah yeah I'm sure you hear this all the time but you my friend you've
00:25:42got that face for filming TV so so what if I was interested do you have any headshots
00:25:47no what's that a drink you're funny buddy going up to the bartender being like hey
00:25:53bartender look at a little headshot on the rocks no no no seriously seriously I
00:25:57they're just pictures man usually done by a professional you got those I don't
00:26:03look here's what I'm gonna do man I'm gonna get my guy on this he's gonna take
00:26:05care of you all right just do me a favor just be here tomorrow same place same
00:26:08time sure haha so do me a favor right where's something a little fancier white
00:26:13shirt there might be the commission man got to take this tomorrow right yeah yeah
00:26:19yeah
00:26:40selfless in your vigil selfless through rain or shine through rain or shine through rain or shine
00:27:10you know what you doing well you've all been such good boys I decided to make you my special
00:27:20irresistible almost instant chocolate pudding really very nice of you oh no it's nothing and you guys
00:27:45really deserve it
00:27:47what you got there some free samples for absolutely not not until it's finished
00:27:59what you got there are those dolphins all right out there I love dolphins huh no I think so I
00:28:17think I really see
00:28:18them oh pudding can I have some you know actually it's just for the boys oh really
00:28:26yeah it's special guy pudding
00:28:28guy pudding
00:28:30I've never heard that yeah I was wondering about some of those yoga poses you want to show me some
00:28:53some of the best pudding I've ever eaten the best what's the special ingredient what do you mean what makes
00:29:01it taste so good well my mom taught me how to make it and
00:29:05she always said that the special ingredient was love love love well I'll catch you guys later and I hope
00:29:17it all comes out all right
00:29:18I don't know what you meant by that women they always say things that don't even make sense
00:29:33awesome
00:29:40it's like an orgasm in your mouth
00:29:47okay
00:29:49yeah
00:29:49okay
00:29:50okay
00:29:55good
00:29:56yeah
00:29:57yeah
00:30:01no
00:30:03no
00:30:03oh
00:30:06that's so good
00:30:06oh
00:30:18Revenge is sweet, especially when it's splitting.
00:30:24Battle stations?
00:30:25Battle stations!
00:30:27So she's on the phone?
00:30:29Yep.
00:30:29Okay.
00:30:30It's only a matter of time.
00:30:32Okay.
00:30:33Now we wait.
00:30:35What are you two up to?
00:30:36You know what I'm saying?
00:30:38Really?
00:30:39Uh-huh.
00:30:40Out with it or I'll tickle it out of you?
00:30:42Double dog dare you.
00:30:44Really?
00:30:44Uh-huh.
00:30:45Really?
00:30:45Are you going to tell me?
00:30:51Yes.
00:30:52Okay.
00:30:56So, Lola wanted to get back at the boys for their little camera gags, so she planted their
00:31:03camera in their own toilet.
00:31:04I modified it.
00:31:05I don't know.
00:31:06Why?
00:31:07Ew is right, but I use gloves.
00:31:09Sanitary.
00:31:10Okay, so here's the best part.
00:31:12Then I may or may not have fed them chocolate pudding with laxatives.
00:31:19Oh!
00:31:20Oh my god!
00:31:21Yeah.
00:31:21Yes.
00:31:22It's only a matter of time before we'll be able to see and hear the results of our little
00:31:26experiment.
00:31:28Guys, guys.
00:31:29You want to go play some sand football, huh?
00:31:32Yeah?
00:31:32Maybe we can get the girls to join?
00:31:34Oh!
00:31:38What the hell?
00:31:40No!
00:31:41No!
00:31:42No!
00:31:45Oh!
00:31:46Oh!
00:31:47Oh!
00:31:48Oh!
00:31:48Oh!
00:31:49Oh!
00:31:49Oh!
00:31:50Oh my gosh!
00:31:51Must have been something he ate.
00:31:53You guys have the weakest stomachs.
00:31:56Oh!
00:31:56Oh!
00:31:57Oh!
00:32:07Oh!
00:32:14Oh!
00:32:20Oh!
00:32:21Oh!
00:32:24Oh!
00:32:26Oh!
00:32:28Oh!
00:32:29Oh!
00:32:29Oh!
00:32:30Oh!
00:32:31Oh!
00:32:32Oh!
00:32:33Oh!
00:32:34Oh!
00:32:34Oh!
00:32:35Oh!
00:32:35Oh!
00:32:37Oh!
00:32:37Oh!
00:32:37Oh!
00:32:38Oh!
00:32:39Oh!
00:32:40Oh!
00:32:41Oh!
00:32:42Oh!
00:32:44Oh!
00:32:46I'm sorry, dude.
00:32:47No!
00:32:49Ow!
00:32:52I can't.
00:32:53Oh my god, Johnny, no!
00:32:58I can't.
00:33:00I can't.
00:33:01Shit, the size of a watermelon.
00:33:03No!
00:33:14Oh, shit!
00:33:16Oh, you too?
00:33:18Oh, my god.
00:33:20Oh!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:28Oh!
00:33:31Oh!
00:33:32That is disgusting.
00:33:33It's killing me.
00:33:34Warlord time!
00:33:37Oh, yeah!
00:33:39Yes!
00:33:40Oh, oh.
00:33:42Oh, that was amazing.
00:33:44Oh, I lost five pounds.
00:33:46I think I lost five pounds.
00:33:49Oh, the abs feel good.
00:33:51Whew.
00:33:52Oh, fuck.
00:33:54Oh, fuck.
00:33:56Oh, fuck.
00:33:57Oh, not again.
00:34:02Oh, shit.
00:34:04Sorry, dude.
00:34:06No, dude!
00:34:08Dude!
00:34:08I'm boasting!
00:34:10Oh, shit!
00:34:13I can't!
00:34:14I can't!
00:34:15I can't!
00:34:22A little self-prop.
00:34:23So, this is going on the internet, right?
00:34:26Yeah, I wonder how many YouTube hits
00:34:28do you think we're gonna get for that?
00:34:29A shitload?
00:34:31Literally!
00:34:36Bitches must die.
00:34:42Group meeting. Group meeting.
00:34:45What the hell is that thing?
00:34:47Oh, this is, um,
00:34:48my special little surveillance camera.
00:34:52I found it in our bathroom.
00:34:53And in my other hand, I have hard evidence
00:34:56that we were poisoned by that bitch,
00:34:58witch, whatever.
00:35:00Fished I out of the trash myself.
00:35:02The proof, gentlemen,
00:35:04is in the pudding.
00:35:06So they hid your little,
00:35:07your little creeper cam on us.
00:35:10Then they took these laxatives
00:35:11and stuck them in our delicious chocolate pudding?
00:35:14You know, it was actually pretty funny.
00:35:16I mean...
00:35:16Yeah, it's probably on the web by now.
00:35:18If I know that Lola, damn her.
00:35:20If she wants to declare war,
00:35:23then so be it.
00:35:25Dude, I doubt she put it on the internet.
00:35:27And come on, man, you lighten up.
00:35:29Funny is funny.
00:35:30You hid the damn spy cam in the room
00:35:32and you starred this.
00:35:34Well, just the same.
00:35:35Look, we need to make them feel
00:35:36a lot guiltier about this.
00:35:39And maybe I can get guilt sex out of Maggie.
00:35:43Or, I mean, I'll even settle for a video
00:35:45that I can view on my own
00:35:47in my spare time.
00:35:48Or, I'll take even a single picture.
00:35:51I'm a pretty reasonable guy.
00:35:54Jenna!
00:35:59I'm so sorry.
00:36:01Yeah, not half the story as we all are.
00:36:04That was wicked.
00:36:06I had no idea they were gonna do it.
00:36:08Had I known, I would've warned you.
00:36:33Hey, this is Annie West.
00:36:35Sorry I can't take your call.
00:36:36Please leave me your info.
00:36:37I'll call you back.
00:36:38Ciao.
00:36:48You have to admit it was kind of funny.
00:36:50No.
00:36:51No, I don't have to.
00:36:53I'm sorry.
00:36:54You make great noises.
00:36:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:36:56Come on.
00:36:57Let's take a walk.
00:37:02And what are you three up to now?
00:37:07Well, to be honest, we all feel really bad about what happened.
00:37:12Especially Jenna, since we deliberately kept her out of it.
00:37:15So what we're up to is a sorry we gave you diarrhea makeup dinner.
00:37:19It's Thai food.
00:37:21Uh, the guys aren't gonna believe you.
00:37:24And I'm not sure if I believe you either after last night's little shit show.
00:37:27Please.
00:37:29Please.
00:37:29Please.
00:37:30Accept our apology.
00:37:36I accept your apology.
00:37:37Only speaking for myself though.
00:37:39The other guys, you're gonna have to work on yourselves.
00:37:42Okay.
00:37:43Alright.
00:37:49You know, there is something honest and sincere about that guy.
00:37:54Not to mention the movie star, Good Looks.
00:37:56It's a part of the package, I guess.
00:37:59Hey, Lola, I don't know what love is.
00:38:01Taking an interest in the opposite sex?
00:38:03All I said was that he's a nice guy and that's all there is to it.
00:38:07Mm-hmm.
00:38:08You know, I've been around long enough to know that when somebody says,
00:38:14and that's all there is to it, that's not all there is to it.
00:38:20Believe what you want.
00:38:21Nobody's stopping you.
00:38:23There it is.
00:38:25Lola likes Johnny.
00:38:27Lola likes Johnny.
00:38:28Lola likes Johnny.
00:38:29Stop.
00:38:29I don't want him to hear you.
00:38:31But you do like him.
00:38:32Do not.
00:38:33Do not.
00:38:34Do too.
00:38:35Do too.
00:38:36Liar, liar, hot little bikini thong pants on fire.
00:38:39Yeah.
00:38:41Well, he is kind of gorgeous.
00:38:44Okay.
00:38:47Here's what we're going to do.
00:38:48We're going to reel him in.
00:38:50Tonight, before we eat, you're going to go put on some notice me makeup,
00:38:53and I have a top of my bag that combined with your tits will knock his eyes out.
00:38:58Literally.
00:38:59All right.
00:39:00Can I trust you to behave while I'm gone?
00:39:03Of course.
00:39:04Okay then.
00:39:05See you a bit.
00:39:10What are you doing now?
00:39:12Nothing.
00:39:12Just another little secret ingredient.
00:39:15Just for the boys.
00:39:18What is it this time?
00:39:20Just a harmless gastro-erotic terrorism.
00:39:25Gastro-erotic?
00:39:26Mm-hmm.
00:39:28For someone who doesn't do it, you seem to have a purse full of party favors.
00:39:32Didn't we promise?
00:39:34Mm.
00:39:35You promised.
00:39:36Technicality.
00:39:41Dinner's ready.
00:39:45This smells really good, isn't it?
00:39:47Oh, no, Charlie.
00:39:48Um, actually, honey, that seat's taken.
00:39:52Well, I don't know we had a signed seating in that I had to make reservations.
00:39:56Charlie, could you please just come sit by me today?
00:40:12Johnny.
00:40:15Eartha Johnny!
00:40:16I'm sorry.
00:40:17I'm sorry.
00:40:18Mm-hmm.
00:40:19Mm-hmm.
00:40:20Mm-hmm.
00:40:20So what is it?
00:40:22It's an Asian fusion Muay Thai crop.
00:40:27Isn't that a mixed martial art?
00:40:30Very funny.
00:40:31So how do we know we can even trust you?
00:40:32Yeah.
00:40:33How do we know?
00:40:34I mean, it all came out all right last time, didn't it?
00:40:38Hey, as my father the doctor used to say, no poo-poo talk at dinner.
00:40:43Guys, guys, look.
00:40:45We're really, really sorry.
00:40:47Maggie spent all day in the kitchen today, working away so hard, preparing this authentic
00:40:52meal to get back into your good graces.
00:40:54So the least we can do...
00:40:55Just eat up.
00:40:58Oh.
00:41:00Here.
00:41:01Try the special sauce.
00:41:03It really helps bring out the flavor.
00:41:04So what's coming up for tonight?
00:41:07After we eat, we're going to go to an event that the party planners have lined up.
00:41:11They're having a ban, and we can check it out before our benefit party.
00:41:13All right.
00:41:14Let's go clubbing, posse.
00:41:21Okay.
00:41:22All right.
00:41:22Cool.
00:41:23So I've obviously never used that word ever in my life, nor will I ever use it again.
00:41:29I swear, I just...
00:41:34I'm sorry, guys.
00:41:36This is private party.
00:41:37You're not able to get inside.
00:41:39Have a good night, guys.
00:41:40Have a good night.
00:41:42Excuse me.
00:41:43Sorry.
00:41:43Sorry.
00:41:44Excuse me.
00:41:45Let me handle this, ladies.
00:41:46I don't think so.
00:41:47Hi.
00:41:48What's up?
00:41:49We're looking for the big guy.
00:41:50Oh, that would be me.
00:41:52How can I help you tonight, guys?
00:41:54You look familiar.
00:41:55Have we met?
00:41:56We're friends with Miss Maureen.
00:41:57You must be talking about my brother.
00:42:00Brother from another mother, huh?
00:42:03Sweet Maureen.
00:42:04Do you remember that song?
00:42:06I know.
00:42:06I think you're talking about Sweet Melissa.
00:42:10There's a difference, but you're...
00:42:12Listen to me.
00:42:13I know the difference.
00:42:15Do you want to make something out of it?
00:42:18I'm capturing this on video right now, so if you try to do...
00:42:21I don't care.
00:42:22So Maureen.
00:42:24Sweet Maureen.
00:42:25Sweet Maureen.
00:42:26Of course, guys.
00:42:27Everybody.
00:42:28You can go inside.
00:42:29Take a look around.
00:42:30You can help yourself.
00:42:32Enjoy your life.
00:42:34You can stay as long as you want.
00:42:35Everybody.
00:42:36All right.
00:42:37Everybody except him.
00:42:40Love me.
00:42:42Hate me.
00:42:44You imitate me.
00:42:48Paper guns and silver lightning.
00:42:51I can feel the tension heightening.
00:42:53If it feels right, it can be so frightening.
00:42:57You may hide away.
00:43:01I'll get away.
00:43:01This band is awesome.
00:43:02You are getting for a party.
00:43:04Sure.
00:43:05I will lead the way.
00:43:09For me.
00:43:11You'll forever be one.
00:43:15I am the new black.
00:43:18I'm ready to attack.
00:43:20The girl you came for.
00:43:22I'm gonna start a war.
00:43:24I am the new black.
00:43:26You better watch your back.
00:43:28You know you want more.
00:43:31I'm causing uproar.
00:43:35For your sex.
00:43:36Where's your sex everywhere?
00:43:36Now, back the ball on.
00:43:41Ooh, I'm going to get my booze.
00:43:48I'm out.
00:43:49Any manners.
00:43:49Nothing's not good.
00:43:49Hey.
00:43:53What's wrong?
00:43:54Last day.
00:43:56Good boy.
00:43:57Oh my gosh, you lookogo頭.
00:43:59He'll be fine in eight hours.
00:44:21I am not amused at all.
00:44:26Do you know what we just went through?
00:44:29Tell me about it.
00:44:30We were just hitchhiking on the side of the road
00:44:32with our rock-solid cocks out.
00:44:35Nobody would pick us up.
00:44:36Nobody except that weird old lady up the street
00:44:39from the assisted living place.
00:44:41Hi, boys. Oh, do you need a ride?
00:44:44Oh, yeah. Um, thanks for the offer,
00:44:48but it doesn't look like you have any room in there, so...
00:44:50Oh, no, no, no problem.
00:44:53We can sit on your laps.
00:44:54What?
00:44:55We can sit on all of your laps.
00:44:57Oh, my God, no.
00:44:59Whoa!
00:45:00Guys, get out of here.
00:45:01What the fuck?
00:45:02Crazy!
00:45:03Oh, Abel!
00:45:05Florid, Abel!
00:45:06Florid for the beach!
00:45:08We ran. We ran to the beach.
00:45:10We thought we got rid of him.
00:45:11Oh, boys, could you help me, please?
00:45:14I really can't see the rails with this light.
00:45:17Do you know the obstacles?
00:45:19Oh, where'd you go?
00:45:20Whoa!
00:45:21Oh!
00:45:22Oh!
00:45:23Oh!
00:45:23Hey!
00:45:23This is a nice banister.
00:45:25Yeah.
00:45:26Oh!
00:45:27Not a rail, lady!
00:45:28Not a rail!
00:45:30Oh!
00:45:30Oh!
00:45:31Help me!
00:45:32Don't take me now!
00:45:34Oh!
00:45:35Oh!
00:45:36Oh!
00:45:36Make sure she's safe, Charlie.
00:45:39Oh!
00:45:41Oh!
00:45:42Oh!
00:45:42Thanks for giving me a hand!
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:45That just happened.
00:45:46You're welcome.
00:45:47You're welcome.
00:45:48That just happened.
00:45:49Well, that's a sweet old lady, huh?
00:45:51Yeah.
00:45:52Yeah.
00:45:53Wish you didn't grab your dick, so shut the hell up!
00:45:59Are you gonna stay mad at me all night?
00:46:02Or are we gonna put this thing to good use?
00:46:06It's not very funny, though.
00:46:07She almost ripped our dicks off.
00:46:08I wasn't trying to be funny.
00:46:10I was trying to be practical.
00:46:12Practical.
00:46:13But if you don't wanna make love, then maybe we can use it as a hat rack.
00:46:18Mm-hmm.
00:46:20Or shoes.
00:46:21Maybe a little bit of ring toss.
00:46:23Enough with the dick jokes.
00:46:24Let's do it.
00:46:25Ha ha!
00:46:26Ha ha!
00:46:28Ha ha!
00:46:35Ha ha!
00:46:44Ha ha!
00:46:51Oh!
00:46:53Uh!
00:46:54We're-
00:46:55Ah!
00:46:57Huh!
00:46:58Oh, my God, what's with all the racket?
00:47:00Hey, everybody. Good morning.
00:47:02Today, you are in for a special treat.
00:47:05I am making my famous smiley face whipped cream candied pancakes
00:47:08with hot maple syrup.
00:47:10How big of a stack can you take?
00:47:12After last night's little dick experiment,
00:47:15or should I say big dick experiment,
00:47:17we're never eating anything you guys make ever again.
00:47:20Yeah, you poke fun at us for the last time.
00:47:24Fine. More for us.
00:47:27I don't know about you guys,
00:47:29but all that dancing last night really worked up my appetite.
00:47:32I'll take a double stack. Pancake me.
00:47:34Coming right up.
00:47:36Yeah, I'd hate to see all that food go to waste.
00:47:38I think I'll have a couple of steps as well.
00:47:40Of course you will.
00:47:41I will.
00:47:42I'm gonna show you how to eat.
00:47:44We'll use the same plate.
00:47:45No, no, we will not.
00:47:47It's okay. Too late.
00:47:53Oh, darling.
00:47:55Was it something you ate?
00:47:58Or...
00:47:59Oh God, I feel awful.
00:48:00Well, not to butt in, but...
00:48:03I'm assuming you're sexually active?
00:48:07It's not like I sleep around.
00:48:10Well, is your period late?
00:48:13Or missing in action?
00:48:14I don't think it's...
00:48:15I just think you might want to try one of these.
00:48:25You know how to?
00:48:26I've never had to before, if that's what you're asking.
00:48:29Well, instructions are on the packet.
00:48:32Let me know if I can do anything.
00:48:35No.
00:48:37No, no, no, no, no.
00:48:40Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:48:42Put your hands up.
00:48:44Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:48:46It's the party.
00:48:47Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:48:49And our American Beach House.
00:48:52Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:48:58Put your hands up.
00:48:59Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:48:59Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:49:00heat. You beach girls, you're in for a treat. Live it up with my boys in our American beach
00:49:09house. Whoa, let me hear you sing. Whoa. Hey, this is Annie West. Sorry I can't take your
00:49:23call. Please leave me your info and I'll call you back. Ciao.
00:49:33You going through something right now? You at a turning point? Hey. Goodbye, Joe. Bye,
00:49:38honey. Bye. Call me from Paris. Oh, I will. Promise? Yes. Okay. All right. Have a safe
00:49:45flight, honey. Bye-bye. Damn. I guess you can say I'm at a turning point. You must be
00:49:56Joe the lifeguard. Johnny, right? Yeah. How'd you know that? Nice to meet you. Oh, you
00:50:01know, I read up on all the winners. I like to know who's on my beach. So what's going on?
00:50:07Well, I'm not sure. I mean, everything's just happening so fast and more different than I've
00:50:12ever, I would have ever expected. Well, then you're just like everybody else. Well, I mean,
00:50:18you're from around here. Do people just come up to you on the beach and, you know, give you a
00:50:24chance
00:50:24to get into movies and TV? Is it a guy or a girl? It was a guy. Did he touch
00:50:30your penis with any part
00:50:32of his body? Whoa, whoa, no, no, no. Okay, good. I just wanted to get that out of the way.
00:50:36Well,
00:50:37that's good. Listen, I guess it happens, you know, sometimes. And if that business is something
00:50:43you're interested in, then I think you should go do it. Thank you, Joe. Hey, you're welcome.
00:50:49Hey, good luck with that. Thank you. Let me know what happens.
00:50:53It wasn't supposed to be like this. And it happened so long ago, and he wasn't the one.
00:51:01Well, he must have been good for something.
00:51:07I don't think that's what we need right now. And the worst part is things were going so great
00:51:12with Vincent. He would have been that one in a million guy, and when I tell him, it'll
00:51:16ruin everything. Maybe don't tell him. You can make it, like, your little secret.
00:51:23I could never be that immoral and unethical. I could never do that to a guy that I care
00:51:29about. What are you going to do about the baby?
00:51:31I could never be that person either. I'm a modern girl, but...
00:51:35You don't have to justify yourself to anybody. Just do what's good for you.
00:51:40Maybe what you and Vincent have is strong enough. No, it's not. It's... I can't. I can't do
00:51:46it to him. I can't. I...
00:51:51I can't.
00:51:55What she needs is time.
00:52:13Hey, Johnny.
00:52:15Hey, Lola.
00:52:18Nice suit.
00:52:19Thank you. So I'm about to get in the hot tub. Would you care to join me?
00:52:24I guess so.
00:52:27I don't want to twist your arm.
00:52:30I'm sorry. Don't take it the wrong way, but I guess not a lot of us are just having
00:52:34the greatest day.
00:52:35What have you heard?
00:52:38Nothing. I've heard nothing from nobody. That's the problem.
00:52:43So? Come on in. I don't usually go for the jock type, but I think in your situation
00:52:49I'll make an exception.
00:52:51Well, aren't you a sweetheart?
00:52:53Yeah.
00:52:54You know, I'm not just some highly successful college athlete.
00:52:57You know, I have hopes and feelings and dreams, too, and even a degree.
00:53:01What exactly did you study?
00:53:03Well, I was a phys ed major, and then one day I had a moment of clarity, you could say,
00:53:07as I was walking by the theater building.
00:53:13I changed it around a little bit.
00:53:17Well, I thought you didn't go for the hock type.
00:53:21Like I said, I'm willing to make an exception.
00:53:27You didn't put anything in the water, did you?
00:53:29I mean, after the last couple times, I gotta ask.
00:53:31Nope. Just me.
00:53:35All right, then.
00:53:42So, a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, why the long face?
00:53:48Get it?
00:53:49I guess I needed that.
00:53:51I guess I'm just at a crossroads right now, and where I'm from, it's flatland.
00:53:55As far as the eye can see, in every direction, I've never even seen the ocean before until a week
00:54:00ago.
00:54:01And now I'm swimming in it, and just a few days ago, a complete stranger walked up to me and
00:54:07gave me a chance to live my dreams.
00:54:09And how often does that happen?
00:54:11Of course, he hasn't called or done shit since then, but I can already see that it's a much bigger
00:54:16world than I ever thought.
00:54:19And I have more choices than I ever imagined.
00:54:21I think I'm gonna move here.
00:54:23You're impulsive, wouldn't you say?
00:54:25Maybe, but I don't got anything telling me down back home, and I'm already here now.
00:54:45I don't know what to say.
00:54:48You don't say anything if you don't want to.
00:54:55But I don't want to say anything.
00:54:57So sexy.
00:55:06Look at me now.
00:55:08Look at me now.
00:55:08Look at me now.
00:55:10Look at me now.
00:55:12Oh no.
00:55:15Jenna?
00:55:21Hey, Jenna.
00:55:25Shoo, you made yourself hard to find.
00:55:28And you found me anyway.
00:55:30What does that say?
00:55:34It says a lot, actually.
00:55:39Look, I have kind of been avoiding you,
00:55:41and we do need to talk.
00:55:46This is all moving way too fast for me,
00:55:49and I can't...
00:55:52I, I, I need, it needs to stop.
00:55:54I can't...
00:55:59Okay.
00:56:04We're, we're moving too fast.
00:56:06I mean, okay, so we, so we slow down.
00:56:08I mean, I'm okay with that.
00:56:09We can just...
00:56:10No, no, no, you're not understanding me.
00:56:12I don't want to slow it down.
00:56:13I need...
00:56:15I think I made a huge mistake,
00:56:18and I need to break it off.
00:56:21I...
00:56:23In fact, I don't think I'm gonna be here tomorrow.
00:56:26I'm leaving.
00:56:27What?
00:56:28No.
00:56:29You can't leave.
00:56:31If you leave it, it's over for us.
00:56:34And it's over for everybody.
00:56:36Everybody in the house.
00:56:36Do you really wanna do that?
00:56:38I mean, you can't be serious.
00:56:39We've got a great thing going, you and I.
00:56:42Right?
00:56:50I'll build my world around you.
00:56:54I can't just let you walk out of my life, no?
00:56:56Goodbye, Vincent.
00:56:59I hope I never see your face again.
00:57:03I know...
00:57:04I know where I'm not wanted.
00:57:05I'm still leaving.
00:57:07No.
00:57:08You stay.
00:57:10I'm gonna go.
00:57:31You know, you're not so sicker at Myra's back again.
00:57:33Yeah, I know.
00:57:36It's kinda cute.
00:57:44Aren't you at least a little charm by his show of affection?
00:57:47What do you want me to do?
00:57:48Give him a pity BJ just cause he's holding a candle?
00:57:50No one's ever held a candle for me before.
00:57:53Well, if you think it's so sweet, why don't you go give him a pity blowjob for the both of
00:57:57us?
00:57:58However, if I did do it, it would be the blowjob he'd jack off to for the rest of his
00:58:05life.
00:58:05I would be on his mental wall of shame.
00:58:09The nasty girl who swallowed his whole load of the crazy beach house.
00:58:15He'll remember me forever.
00:58:17Sorry, Charlie.
00:58:19Not gonna happen.
00:58:24Oh.
00:58:26Hi.
00:58:30I'll be back...
00:58:32...later.
00:58:33Fun. I plan to.
00:58:39Hi.
00:58:40Hey.
00:58:41What are you doing here?
00:58:42I came to pick you up.
00:58:43Wanna go to the beach?
00:58:44I mean...
00:58:45Yeah, okay.
00:58:47Oh, okay.
00:59:16Hey.
00:59:17Pull the chair.
00:59:18Could you use a beer?
00:59:20Yeah.
00:59:22Please and thank you.
00:59:33So what's happening?
00:59:42You know, Jenna's thinking about leaving tomorrow.
00:59:45Any idea why?
00:59:47No.
00:59:48What...
00:59:49What's the deal, man?
00:59:51Um...
00:59:51I mean, I can get Lola to go talk to her, but...
00:59:54What's going on?
00:59:55Jenna!
00:59:57You wanna come down from up there?
01:00:01You wanna come down from up there?
01:00:01Look, we both know that your being up there isn't gonna solve anything in your life.
01:00:07So come down or I'm coming up.
01:00:11You're a really nice lady and I appreciate you coming all the way out here in the dark where I
01:00:17didn't think anyone would find me for the second time this week.
01:00:22But just because you did find me doesn't mean that you know me.
01:00:28You don't know me at all.
01:00:30And you don't know anything about what my life has been like.
01:00:34All right, that's it.
01:00:35I'm coming up.
01:00:38Look, I know you well enough to know that you love children and you wouldn't do anything to endanger a
01:00:44child's life.
01:00:49I was just thinking things over.
01:00:52I broke it off with Vincent.
01:00:56And I don't think you're gonna like it, but I don't think that I can stay here any longer.
01:01:05I don't know how much more fun I can take.
01:01:10It happens.
01:01:12And hey, you don't have to make any decisions tonight.
01:01:16Why don't you sleep on it?
01:01:25Look who it is.
01:01:29May I?
01:01:30Yeah, sure.
01:01:35Too love.
01:01:36Hey, fuck you.
01:01:39What happened to you guys?
01:01:40I thought you guys were on top of the world.
01:01:42What happened?
01:01:58What the hell do you do that?
01:02:00Can I get another brother?
01:02:01Yeah.
01:02:03If you really want one.
01:02:07Trooper.
01:02:17He's killing it.
01:02:19Wow.
01:02:20Have you seen this shit before?
01:02:22I've never seen anything like that before.
01:02:29Dude, what?
01:02:30Why are you doing that?
01:02:31Doing what?
01:02:33Drinking like that.
01:02:36I hate beer.
01:02:38I hate the taste of it.
01:02:40I hate the smell of it.
01:02:43I hate the texture.
01:02:45It's the only way I can keep it down.
01:02:47It's the best trick I learned at a college fraternity.
01:02:52Huh.
01:02:53A trick that you learned at a fraternity.
01:02:57You don't even look like a frat guy at all.
01:02:59Turns out I wasn't.
01:03:02I put out with their nonsense and they, uh, they blackballed me on the first round.
01:03:08Said I didn't fit the mold.
01:03:11The only thing I did get out of those guys was that stupid trick.
01:03:15And a different sense of who I was and wasn't.
01:03:20Well, let's change that.
01:03:22New business.
01:03:24This meeting of the Brotherhood is now in session.
01:03:27I nominate Charlie as the new president.
01:03:29All in favor.
01:03:30Say aye.
01:03:31Aye.
01:03:32Aye.
01:03:34It's unanimous.
01:03:36Charlie is the new president of the Brotherhood.
01:03:38Woo!
01:03:39Speech!
01:03:40Speech!
01:03:41Speech!
01:03:43Beverage first.
01:03:44And then speech.
01:04:01I would like to thank the Brotherhood for recognizing my leadership potential.
01:04:09I also want to say that this honor may be the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
01:04:17To Brotherhood.
01:04:19Brotherhood.
01:04:22Oh!
01:04:24Shit!
01:04:24Do you think he's alright?
01:04:25Yeah.
01:04:26I think the grass cushioned his fall.
01:04:28No, that's...
01:04:29That's probably the best he's ever been.
01:04:34No.
01:04:51Well, that's a nice gesture.
01:04:54Oh, my God.
01:04:55This fucker's heavy.
01:04:56You know what, dude?
01:04:57You're a pretty decent guy.
01:04:58The Brotherhood never leaves a man behind.
01:05:01All right, Charlie.
01:05:03I'm for bed.
01:05:05Get out!
01:05:07Ah!
01:05:08Ah!
01:05:10Today's a big day.
01:05:11And tonight's the big night.
01:05:14Party!
01:05:15What?
01:05:15What?
01:05:16Oh, later, after yoga, we need to go make sure everything's going smoothly for the benefit
01:05:22party.
01:05:22And I want to call the vet and check on little Stanley.
01:05:25Actually, today we have a bigger problem than that.
01:05:28Jenna has broken things off with Vincent.
01:05:31OMG, but they're so good together!
01:05:34Last night at the beach, she was talking about going home early.
01:05:37And if she leaves the beach house, then you all have to go home.
01:05:41We can't let her leave like this.
01:05:43It ruins it for her and for the rest of us.
01:05:45I can't stop her.
01:05:46Only you guys can.
01:05:47And you might not have a lot of time.
01:05:54I know your mind's already made up on this, but can we talk?
01:05:58I have made up my mind.
01:06:00I don't really think there's much you can say to make me change it.
01:06:03Well, that's what friends are for.
01:06:07You and Vincent made such a powerful connection.
01:06:09Don't you think you at least owe it to him to tell the truth?
01:06:12I don't know.
01:06:14I love him so much, but I can't do that to him.
01:06:18He's got his whole life planned out.
01:06:20Look, it's not fair.
01:06:23You have to admit, so much has already happened this week.
01:06:26So many good things.
01:06:28And we don't want to lose that.
01:06:29We don't want to lose you.
01:06:31We're just trying to keep you from making what could be the biggest mistake of your life.
01:06:36In case you missed it, it's kind of already happened.
01:06:38I mean, this is me trying to deal with the consequences of it all.
01:06:43There's not always one right answer.
01:06:46Sit down.
01:06:48I'll make you some tea.
01:07:03Mom, please, come back.
01:07:08How did you do?
01:07:09Not at all.
01:07:10No.
01:07:13You are still hitting me.
01:07:15Don't do it.
01:07:18No.
01:07:18No.
01:07:19No.
01:07:21You don't make a decision that's going to affect the rest of your life in the heat of the moment.
01:07:27Every decision we make sets into motion a powerful chain of events.
01:07:32Everything you've ever done, and a lot of what you will do, is based on these decisions.
01:07:38And all of them lead to different possible outcomes.
01:07:42So I need to choose.
01:07:43You don't just have to choose, you have to choose wisely.
01:07:47What do you think you would do if you told him?
01:07:50What, like, hey, lover, I'm pregnant. It's not yours.
01:07:54Still want to get married and live the rest of our lives together?
01:07:57I can't do that, isn't him?
01:07:58He made a commitment to you.
01:08:01Doesn't he even deserve a chance to be a part of that?
01:08:06Morning. I hope I'm not interrupting.
01:08:08No, we're just... nice PJs.
01:08:13Thanks, I guess.
01:08:14Look, I've got to be honest.
01:08:18I was standing in the hall.
01:08:20Were you spying on us again?
01:08:22No, no, no. I didn't mean to. I just, I got up to take a big piss.
01:08:25W-T-M-I-A.
01:08:28WTF?
01:08:29Way too much information again.
01:08:31And?
01:08:34Well, I heard it all. I guess.
01:08:38Well, then come here. You're just gonna have to be one of the girls.
01:08:42And we'll swear you to secrecy.
01:08:45I'm okay with the secrecy, but do I need to be one of the girls?
01:08:49Yes. It's a sisterhood. Swear it.
01:08:52So, I'm a brother and a sister?
01:08:55Just promise you won't say anything to anyone.
01:08:58I promise.
01:09:01Okay. Now go pee.
01:09:12Mind if I join you?
01:09:14Please.
01:09:23So, what brings the other way out here?
01:09:25Well, I come out here every day if I can.
01:09:28There's something just so magical about the ocean.
01:09:31If you let yourself feel it, it can heal you.
01:09:36I'm trying to decide what I feel.
01:09:40I'm proud of you, you know.
01:09:43I'm just trying to do the right thing.
01:09:46You didn't have to tell us you were there.
01:09:48I thought about not doing the right thing, but I couldn't.
01:09:53You remind me a lot of someone I used to know.
01:09:57Who was it?
01:10:01My guy.
01:10:02So, where is he?
01:10:05He was a career soldier, an officer.
01:10:08He didn't make it back from Afghanistan.
01:10:11I'm so sorry.
01:10:14You know, I loved him because he stood up for what he believed in.
01:10:19I see a little bit of that in you.
01:10:22You know, you're a good guy, Charlie.
01:10:25He didn't deserve to be treated the way Maggie treated you.
01:10:28It's confusing because I wanted her.
01:10:32And now I feel sorry for her.
01:10:36You know, I guess for her anyway, I'm not the one.
01:10:43Well, maybe you are the one.
01:10:45Just like you said, not for her.
01:10:56Do you want to finish what you were thinking about that first night at the hot tub?
01:11:05Does she want me to jerk off on the drapes?
01:11:22Does she want to kiss her?
01:11:35Yes.
01:11:36Do you want silly tos it so she's funny ?
01:11:38I'll take you there
01:11:40And you won't find
01:11:42What you're looking for
01:11:45I'll take you there
01:11:48I'll take you there
01:11:51And maybe you'll see
01:11:53You're walking to the sunset even more
01:11:56I'll take you there
01:12:12Look, you are an amazing person
01:12:14And you have no idea what he's going to say
01:12:16Don't you think you should give him a chance?
01:12:18You don't know how hard it can be
01:12:21I mean, my parents never got married
01:12:25I was a so-called love child
01:12:26But there was never any love around in my early life
01:12:28They didn't stay together
01:12:30I don't even think I saw my dad
01:12:32Anytime after I was five
01:12:34I guess you can say I'm a little sensitive
01:12:37Wow
01:12:40I had no idea
01:12:41Yeah, it's not like I walk around
01:12:43With a sign around my neck
01:12:45Well
01:12:47Unless you read through the lines
01:12:49And then the sign says
01:12:52Beautiful, intelligent, caring woman
01:12:54With a painful childhood
01:12:57Spends her life
01:12:58Taking care of other people's
01:13:01Issue kids
01:13:02Hoping that the man of her dreams
01:13:04Will walk to the door
01:13:05And when he does
01:13:06And it's not exactly perfect
01:13:09She throws it all away
01:13:10And chickens out
01:13:11On her own happiness
01:13:19Nice moves
01:13:20Oh, thanks
01:13:21You should take this one
01:13:21So you think he can dance
01:13:22You think?
01:13:25And what would you do?
01:13:27If it's never really been there
01:13:28Never really done that
01:13:29Just drag him to the altar
01:13:30Try to convince him that it's his
01:13:35Yeah, probably
01:13:36Sounds like me
01:13:38The woman I've come to know
01:13:40Would want to give her baby
01:13:41A chance that she didn't quite get
01:13:43Two people
01:13:45Two parents
01:13:45Who love her
01:13:46And care for her
01:13:47And would want to raise
01:13:48A family with her
01:13:49I mean, don't you think
01:13:50You at least owe it to him
01:13:51To tell him the truth
01:13:52And let him make that decision
01:13:53On his own
01:13:54I feel like that's what you'd want
01:13:56Someone to do for you
01:14:02Thank you everybody for coming tonight
01:14:04We're Nylon Pink
01:14:08Could we please have Lola and Maggie
01:14:11Come join us on stage
01:14:21Hi guys
01:14:22Hi everybody
01:14:25What's up?
01:14:28Welcome to the Heal Arsenal Benefit Party
01:14:31Thank you all so much
01:14:32For coming for a great cause
01:14:36Also, I'd like to welcome
01:14:38Miss Maureen
01:14:39Who knows everyone
01:14:46Also, I'd like to thank Big Guy
01:14:48And the staff and crew
01:14:49Here at the party
01:14:50They are awesome
01:14:52Everyone please welcome
01:14:54Humanitarian and veterinarian
01:14:56The man who is actually
01:14:58Healing our seal
01:14:59Dr. Spencer
01:15:03Thanks guys
01:15:04Unfortunately, Stan Lee
01:15:06Couldn't make it tonight
01:15:07But he did send this
01:15:08As a token of his appreciation
01:15:14Alright, everyone
01:15:16Enjoy your night
01:15:17The band is Nylon Pink
01:15:18Let's get it on
01:15:37Johnny, Johnny
01:15:38I've been looking everywhere for you
01:15:39Where have you been the past three days?
01:15:41You could have just called me back
01:15:42No, bro, I couldn't
01:15:43My phone fell in the toilet
01:15:44I left all my contacts
01:15:46On the phone with the company
01:15:47It was a nightmare, man
01:15:48I'm seriously so glad I ran into you
01:15:51Charlie, this is Andy West
01:15:53Andy West, Charlie
01:15:54Yeah, Charlie
01:15:54Andy West Coast, man
01:15:55Nice to meet you
01:15:59Alright
01:16:00Johnny, seriously, man
01:16:01I am glad I ran into you
01:16:02Remember how I had you
01:16:03Wear that white shirt?
01:16:04Yeah
01:16:04Well, I had my photographer come
01:16:05Took some pictures of you
01:16:08They were great
01:16:09I got you an audition, man
01:16:11That's amazing
01:16:12How do I get in touch with you?
01:16:14No, we're gonna make it easy
01:16:14I'm gonna get in touch with you, alright?
01:16:16And because of the great venue cook-off
01:16:19You've got to dance with me
01:16:21One time
01:16:24Excuse me, big guy
01:16:26Um, the lady's with me tonight
01:16:29Every song, all night long
01:16:32Right, Miss Maureen?
01:16:34Is it true, Maureen?
01:16:38Well, you know I'll always hold a special place for you
01:16:41But I am with this guy tonight
01:16:44So if he says every song all night long
01:16:46Then that's it
01:16:48Well
01:16:52Good for you, my little buddy
01:16:55Give me a pie
01:16:57Enjoy your night
01:16:59See you later
01:16:59Look, just do me a favor
01:17:01Have a fun time
01:17:02I need you there tomorrow afternoon
01:17:03Tomorrow afternoon?
01:17:04I'll be there
01:17:05Yeah, man
01:17:05No joke, no joke
01:17:07Look, I don't want to ruin your buzz, alright?
01:17:08You've got to have a great party
01:17:10I'll run into you in just a little bit, alright?
01:17:11It's gonna be a good night, man
01:17:12Alright, man
01:17:13Take care
01:17:25Guys, you and I have been going there for a while
01:17:31Yeah, we did
01:17:33Hey, sorry, we're late
01:17:34We just had a few things that we had to kind of sort through, I guess
01:17:40But a great party
01:17:41I mean, it's a perfect time for a little announcement
01:17:46We're engaged!
01:17:47Yeah!
01:17:50Nice!
01:17:51Yeah, dude, good work
01:17:51M, M, M, M, M, G
01:17:55Travulation
01:17:56Oh my fucking god, it's so amazing!
01:17:58I'm so lucky, dear
01:17:59Oh my fucking god
01:19:27My lipstick looks cute on you.
01:19:31I like your laugh.
01:19:32You know, besides you being all gorgeous and all,
01:19:37just drop-dead beautiful and just...
01:20:21Have a great day.
01:20:22Yeah, great day.
01:21:55Do I dare to dream of spending the rest of my days with you?
01:22:02Would you call me silly?
01:22:04Because I dreamt that you said I'd do.
01:22:08It's not as easy as it looks.
01:22:11And they don't teach you this in books.
01:22:15But I'm burning like a flame.
01:22:18Feel the beat, come on, let's sway.
01:22:22To the music, you can feel me.
01:22:26Hold me tight and enjoy the ride.
01:22:29Make it last a little longer.
01:22:33Baby, let's live our dreams tonight.
01:22:36Feel the music, give into it.
01:22:40Break on through to the other side.
01:22:46Sorry, I'm a man now.
01:22:47Baby, let's live our dreams tonight.
01:22:51Let's live our dreams tonight.
01:22:54Let's live our dreams tonight.
01:22:58Hold me tight, don't let me go.
01:23:01It's the only way to grow.
01:23:05When it comes through love, it's just a feeling.
01:23:10So let it glow.
01:23:11It's not as easy as it looks.
01:23:27Do people just come up to you on the beach and, you know, give you a chance to go and
01:23:32get into movies and TV or, I mean, does that happen?
01:23:36Sometimes, I guess.
01:23:38Was it a guy or a girl?
01:23:40It was, I mean, it was a guy.
01:23:42Did he look like that?
01:23:43They're going, they're going.
01:23:46So you were at a turning point.
01:23:48I can tell.
01:23:53You think that's funny?
01:23:58Yeah.
01:23:59Yeah, I'm at a turning point right now.
01:24:03Me too.
01:24:06That guy touched your wiener?
01:24:10With any part of his body?
01:24:14I see there's a lot of girls on TV from Malibu.
01:24:18I can't wait.
01:24:20I better make more storage space in this phone.
01:24:24Yeah, Mom.
01:24:25No, no, no.
01:24:27No, I'm going to take pictures of birds.
01:24:31And squirrels.
01:24:34Not to say girls.
01:24:35I said squirrels.
01:24:37I said squirrels.
01:24:38Mom.
01:24:39No.
01:24:41No, I said, why did dad call me stupid?
01:24:45He said you're stupid and I'm stupid because I came out of you.
01:24:49I just want a trip to Malibu and I'm gone for seven days.
01:24:52I'm glad.
01:24:53Can I come back, though, after seven days?
01:24:55I, no, I doubt I'll meet anybody to move in with.
01:24:59Come on.
01:25:01I know.
01:25:02No, I, I am stupid.
01:25:04No, you're not.
01:25:05You are stupid.
01:25:07I'm stupid.
01:25:09I'm stupid.
01:25:10I'm stupid.
01:25:10Well, no, if I didn't have that restraining order, I'd have a job by now, wouldn't I?
01:25:15Well, you shouldn't have ratted on me.
01:25:17Now, now, why did you do that?
01:25:19No.
01:25:21You're stupid.
01:25:22Mom, this is supposed to be a happy moment for me.
01:25:24You're ruining it.
01:25:26You're ruining it.
01:25:27Just like you said, I ruined your life.
01:25:29You're ruining it for me.
01:25:32I would.
01:25:33If I could, I would marry a hooker.
01:25:36And I'd bring her over.
01:25:38And show grandma, too.
01:25:40She's even dumber.
01:25:42I'm sorry.
01:25:43I didn't mean to say that.
01:25:45You just make me say things that I don't mean.
01:25:48I mean, I do mean them, but not in the context that I'm saying them in.
01:25:53You know what?
01:25:54I'm going to make a suicide video, Mom.
01:25:57Hi, guys.
01:26:02I know you may think this is a joke, but no.
01:26:07I'm leaving, and I might not come back.
01:26:10We'll say seven days, but if I find a better place to stay, I'll stay there.
01:26:15It might be hell.
01:26:16Oh, yeah, no.
01:26:17You know what?
01:26:18I'm already living in hell, Mom.
01:26:20With you!
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