00:00By the way, I think what you did underscores something that so many people who are going,
00:05who are in the middle of a difficult time struggle with, and it's like, how can I have
00:12this celebration while this is going on?
00:15And I know one of my dear, dear friends, my best friend actually lost her husband, and
00:20I remember her navigating this time, and I was watching her get chipped away, and those
00:27moments that you would have celebrated, there's guilt that comes with it, there's moments
00:31you want to do something, you say, oh, but I can't, I can't, there's a million other things
00:34that I need to be doing for him.
00:37Do you, or did you wrestle with that?
00:40I always wrestle with it.
00:41You know, I think guilt is something that I am always carrying, but I've learned that
00:52it is really not helpful.
00:54I, what I know is I always go back to what would my husband want for me, and he would
01:00want me to have a big, fun bash.
01:03He would want me to celebrate, you know, my life with my friends and family, and that is
01:12sort of what I always think about when guilt of any sort sort of, you know, comes in front
01:20of me, and I'm, and I'm really happy that I did, and you know, we brought together my
01:26friends, some family, and it was just a really lovely, intimate night.
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