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00:08My fiancée spent every Valentine's Day in Aspen with another woman.
00:16He always called it a business trip.
00:25In five years, she got the mountains and the snow.
00:30I got five cheap keychames.
00:34This morning, I canceled the apartment we bought together.
00:38You paid $45,000 down. Don't you want to wait for your fiancée?
00:42I slid the keys across her desk and smiled.
00:46No.
00:47He's in Aspen shopping with his first love.
00:50Yesterday, I opened his old camera.
00:53Dozens of photos showed the same woman in the snow.
00:56The angle never changed over five years.
01:01The same peak always stood behind her.
01:05Ryan only took me on one long tree.
01:08We drove to the next city over and saw this apartment.
01:12Maya,
01:13We don't need fancy things.
01:16A steady life together is enough.
01:20So I built that steady life alone.
01:23I chose the paint myself.
01:25And I picked out every single decoration myself.
01:29I signed the cancellation form and broke down at her desk.
01:33Do you still want to cancel?
01:35I dried my eyes and nodded.
01:40Yes.
01:42My phone buzzed against the desk.
01:45Ryan was texting me from Aspen.
01:47It's snowing here, freezing.
01:48I found you a keychain.
01:49Cute, right?
01:50Keychain number five was already on its way.
01:55I drove home with his text still glowing on my screen.
01:58The apartment was dark and silent.
02:00By the front door sat a pair of white canvas shoes.
02:03They were lined up neatly beside Ryan's.
02:05The shoes were tiny.
02:07A women's size five.
02:08I wear a seven.
02:09They were not mine.
02:10And they were not new.
02:12I picked one up and felt a note under the insole.
02:15It read,
02:16Rye, wear these next time.
02:18We had been together for five whole years.
02:20I never knew that anyone called him Rye.
02:23He never once let me use that name.
02:25Another woman had a private name for my fiancé.
02:28Her shoes were already sitting in my hallway.
02:31Then my phone lit up on the counter.
02:33Ryan was video calling me from Aspen.
02:35Did you eat dinner yet?
02:36I already ate.
02:38My flight lands the day after tomorrow.
02:40A woman's voice slipped in behind him.
02:42Rye, the car is here.
02:44I'm coming now.
02:45Hannah needs me.
02:46I have to go.
02:47Why is she at your hotel?
02:49She's right next door.
02:50We're only getting dinner.
02:52He hung up before I could answer.
02:54His nickname belonged to her and never to me.
03:00His laptop was still open on the desk.
03:02The screen woke the moment I touched it.
03:05A travel booking filled the page.
03:07It was a couple's retreat at Lake Tahoe.
03:09In the notes field, he had typed Hannah's birthday gift.
03:12Hannah's birthday is February 15th.
03:14My birthday is March 9th.
03:16Last year, he forgot mine completely.
03:18I had asked him to spend that evening with me.
03:21He told me he had a business dinner.
03:22His text finally came at 11 that night.
03:24Just got home.
03:25Happy birthday.
03:26I'll make it up next time.
03:28He always promised to make it up to me.
03:29It meant the same as every next time.
03:32Not one promise ever came true.
03:34Then I opened his cloud photos.
03:36His album held more than 3,000 pictures.
03:39I scrolled and counted every shot of my face.
03:41Only 11 of them were me.
03:43One folder was labeled Aspen Snow.
03:46I opened it and my chest went tight.
03:48Every single photo inside was Hannah.
03:50Each shot of her was lit and posed with care.
03:53He never once aimed the camera that way for me.
03:58Once I asked him for a better picture of myself.
04:00Can you make me look nice in one?
04:02It's just a photo.
04:04Good enough.
04:04Good enough was all he ever gave me.
04:07Every photo he ever took with care belonged to her.
04:15Two days later, Ryan came home.
04:18He rolled his suitcase through the door.
04:22He handed me a small paper bag first.
04:25Here's your keychain.
04:27Inside, sack a tiny deer on a metal ring.
04:30It was keychain number five.
04:32Just as promised.
04:34He handed it over without looking up.
04:37Then he pulled a larger bag from his suitcase.
04:40A corner of deep red fabric slipped out.
04:42What is that?
04:44Cashmere scarf for Hannah.
04:45She likes the color and pattern.
04:47You bought her a scarf?
04:48She said she wanted one.
04:50I grabbed one for her on the way.
04:51I touched it once.
04:52It was soft and expensive.
04:54Last winter, I had asked him for a cashmere scarf.
04:57Ryan countered it with a question.
04:59Why?
05:00You already own a few of those.
05:05Every scarf in my closet, I had bought myself.
05:10In Aspen, he had found time to shop for her.
05:16He had never once chosen a real gift for me.
05:19I'm wiped out.
05:20That flight was four hours.
05:21He dropped onto the couch and shut his eyes.
05:23When will you take me to Aspen?
05:25He went still for a second.
05:26Why bring that up now?
05:27I have asked you for five years.
05:28After this busy stretch, next time.
05:32That was the 17th time he said next time.
05:35I had believed every single one.
05:37Then, my phone rang on the table.
05:39His mother's name lit up the screen.
05:46I picked up the phone.
05:49Maya, is Ryan home now?
05:51He's back, Mrs. Hall.
05:52You two need to lock down a wedding date.
05:54People keep asking me about the invitations.
05:59We're still working on it.
06:01Hannah came by last week and chose the wedding cake.
06:03She picked four flavors at the tasting.
06:07I looked over at Ryan, scrolling on the couch.
06:10He had never cared about our wedding at all.
06:13I had handled every part of it alone.
06:17Hannah chose our wedding cake?
06:18She said you were busy, so she came herself.
06:21She is such a thoughtful girl.
06:22You could have just told me directly.
06:24You didn't have to bother her.
06:26Trouble?
06:27She comes three or four times a month.
06:29That is far more often than you.
06:32Ryan had said his mother wanted a quiet house.
06:35But Hannah visited three or four times a month.
06:38His mother had never minded a guest.
06:41She had only ever minded me.
06:44His mother sent a photo to my phone.
06:46Hannah stood in her kitchen, wearing an apron.
06:48She held up a dish and smiled.
06:50The caption read, Hannah's pot roast tastes just the same as mine.
06:54Hannah looked more at home there than I ever did.
06:56She knew that kitchen better than I did.
06:58Another message came right behind it.
07:01Maya, I'll be honest with you.
07:02I watched Hannah grow up.
07:03She and Ryan are close.
07:05You are sweet, but you don't know how to take care of people.
07:08You should learn that from Hannah.
07:09I set the phone face down on the table.
07:11Even his mother had already chosen Hannah.
07:17Ryan walked into the kitchen.
07:20Why aren't you eating?
07:22I'm not hungry.
07:25He went to the closet for his pajamas.
07:27A red velvet box peeked out of his suit jacket.
07:31What is that?
07:32Hannah's birthday gift.
07:33A necklace.
07:35He opened the box for me to see.
07:37A thin silver chain lay inside.
07:40The pendant was a small aspen leaf.
07:42One letter was engraved at its center.
07:45The letter was R.
07:46R was Ryan's own initial.
07:48He had put his own initial on her gift.
07:51It's custom made.
07:52It took two months.
07:53My engagement ring came from a website.
07:57He had opened the package and slipped it on me.
08:00I asked to choose one in a store.
08:03Ryan said all the rings were the same.
08:05So there was no point in going.
08:09But now he had spent two months on a custom necklace for Hannah.
08:14You had a necklace made for her?
08:17It's her birthday.
08:18It's a small thing.
08:20What did you give me last birthday?
08:22He thought about it for a moment.
08:24I think I sent you some money.
08:26No!
08:27You didn't!
08:29Then I forgot.
08:30I'll make it up next time.
08:34Is any of this normal to you?
08:36Here we go again.
08:38Hannah and I grew up together.
08:40We don't need fancy things, Maya.
08:42A steady life matters more than anything.
08:44He saved every fancy thing for her.
08:48The getaways, the necklace, the birthday surprises were all hers.
08:52All he ever left me was a steady life.
09:00You are right.
09:01I turned off the light and lay down with my back to him.
09:03Then let's live that steady life.
09:07The next day, Owen invited us to a reunion.
09:10He mentioned that Hannah would be there too.
09:14When we arrived, Hannah was already seated.
09:17She was wearing a necklace that Ryan had made for her.
09:20Rye, over here!
09:22Ryan crossed the room and sat beside her.
09:25I took the seat on his other side.
09:27A woman leaned in toward Hannah's necklace.
09:31That necklace is beautiful.
09:33Who gave it to you?
09:34Hannah held the pendant and glanced at Ryan.
09:37She had wanted someone to ask all along.
09:40Oh, just a friend.
09:42What friend is this generous?
09:43It's custom, isn't it?
09:44I gave it a birthday gift.
09:47Just something I picked up.
09:50He called it something he just picked up.
09:52He had spent two whole months on it.
09:55Casual was always his favorite kind of lie.
09:58The woman's eyes moved between Ryan and me.
10:01So you bought your fiancé one too?
10:04Maya doesn't like wearing these things.
10:05It was not that I disliked them.
10:08He had never once bought me one.
10:11So he decided that I didn't want one.
10:14You don't mind, do you, Maya?
10:16I don't mind.
10:17You are so generous.
10:20I smiled and said nothing at all.
10:23But I had quietly stopped fighting for my place.
10:27Inside, I had already let him go.
10:29I went to the bathroom alone.
10:31Hannah followed me inside.
10:33She touched up her lipstick in the mirror.
10:39Don't take this the wrong way.
10:41Rye is careless, but he is not a bad man.
10:44Try not to be so hard on him.
10:49I am not hard on him.
10:51He says you have been on edge lately.
10:54You get upset over me all the time.
10:57He had carried our private fights straight to her.
11:01To her, I had become the unstable one.
11:04If you can't even trust him, why marry him?
11:06He goes to Aspen with you every year.
11:09What exactly am I supposed to trust?
11:11That is only business.
11:13Business does not photograph one woman for five years.
11:17Her smile held, but her eyes went cold.
11:19Rye and I are friends.
11:21The rest is only in your head.
11:22She picked up her bag and paused at the door.
11:25For your living room, go with warm gray.
11:27Rye likes it better than your cream white.
11:29The door closed behind her.
11:31I had chosen cream white for that wall myself.
11:34I watched the painters roll on two full coats.
11:37Rye had never once come to see it.
11:39Yet he let Hannah judge my home and agreed with her.
11:41My fiancé had handed her that power.
11:44Even these walls were no longer mine to choose.
11:49On Sunday morning, I made his favorite breakfast.
11:52Pancakes, eggs, and crisp bacon filled his plate.
11:56Ryan, can you stay home with me today?
11:59Why?
12:00Is something wrong?
12:01I just want you here for one whole day.
12:03Sure.
12:04I have nothing planned anyway.
12:05He smiled and sat down to eat.
12:07I watched him and tried to memorize his face.
12:12Ryan, do you love me?
12:15His fork stopped above his plate.
12:18Why are you asking that now?
12:19I just want to hear you say it once.
12:22I'm about to marry you, aren't I?
12:23Marriage and love are not the same thing.
12:26What has gotten into you today?
12:28I only want to hear the words.
12:31He set down his fork and looked at me.
12:34Maya, of course I...
12:36His phone buzzed against the table.
12:37It was a message from Hannah.
12:39She said a pipe had bursted at her place.
12:42Ryan read it, threw on his coat, and left.
12:46I sat alone at our kitchen table.
12:48The breakfast had gone stone cold.
12:50I rose and walked into the bedroom.
12:52I pulled two suitcases from the closet.
12:54Very little in that home was mine.
12:56One case held my clothes.
12:57Half a case held my books and small things.
12:59My phone buzzed again while I packed.
13:02Home around three.
13:03He had no idea I was already gone.
13:05Hannah had left more behind than I owned.
13:08Her shoes, her coat, and her mug were everywhere.
13:13I packed it all in under an hour.
13:16Five years had shrunk into one hour of packing.
13:19Then I slipped the engagement ring off my finger.
13:22I set it on the coffee table.
13:25Beside it, I lined up the five keychams.
13:27I left a note next to them.
13:29It read,
13:30I canceled the apartment.
13:32Find someone else to go on the honey wound with.
13:37I dragged the two suitcase to the front door.
13:40I looked back one last time at the apartment.
13:44There was the worn dent where Ryan always sat.
13:47Hannah's coaster still rested on the coffee table.
13:49Her strawberry yogurt was still in the fridge.
13:52This home was full of Ryan and Hannah.
13:54My entire life here fit into two small suitcases.
13:57Five years had shrunk down to just this.
14:04I closed the door and left it unlocked behind me.
14:09A rideshare was already waiting at the curb.
14:12The driver loaded my bags into the trunk.
14:16Where are you headed?
14:19The train station, please.
14:24The car pulled away and I did not look back.
14:27I switched my phone to silent and rode in silence.
14:31Three hours later, the train reached the new city.
14:34The platform was loud and full of strangers.
14:38No one was waiting for me at the station.
14:41Once, that emptiness would have crushed me.
14:43This time, I did not mind at all.
14:46The new city glowed with thousands of distant lights.
14:50Not a single one of them shone for me.
14:53But no light in that old home ever had.
14:56I had stopped needing anyone to wait for me.
15:00I finally took my phone off silent.
15:03A flood of messages poured onto the screen.
15:10The last two were from Ryan.
15:17The last two messages were from Ryan.
15:19I saw the five keychains on the table.
15:22Maya, please pick up my call.
15:23That was his 27th message to me.
15:25I had not opened a single one before now.
15:28Then Claire's name flashed on the screen.
15:32Did you really leave?
15:33Ryan is frantic.
15:35Yes.
15:36I left this morning.
15:37He went to your office looking for you.
15:40I already quit my job.
15:42You quit too?
15:43You gave up everything?
15:45I am starting over in a new city.
15:47Claire went quiet for a moment.
15:50He has called me eight times tonight.
15:53What did you tell him?
15:54I told him I had no idea where you went.
15:56She paused before she spoke again.
15:58His voice was strange, Maya.
16:00He said he doesn't understand why you left.
16:03He said everything between you two was fine.
16:06He truly believed that we were fine.
16:09I decorated that whole apartment alone.
16:12I canceled it alone and packed alone.
16:17To him, all of it had looked fine.
16:20I had been invisible in my own life.
16:24Claire, give him one message from me.
16:27What is it?
16:28Tell him the note already said everything.
16:31And that's it?
16:31Yes, that is all.
16:34I ended the call and set the phone down.
16:36For five years I had waited.
16:38Now I was finally done.
16:48An unknown number called.
16:50I answered it without thinking.
16:54Is this Maya?
16:55It's Owen, Ryan's friend.
16:59Owen?
17:00What is this about?
17:01Ryan sat at my place for three hours today.
17:04He was not himself at all.
17:06What do you mean?
17:08He kept staring at the note.
17:10You left him.
17:13Then, he asked me a strange question.
17:17What did he ask?
17:18He asked if five keychains were really too few.
17:22My fingers tightened around the phone.
17:25He said it was all he gave you in five years.
17:30Then, he opened his phone and scrolled forever.
17:33Scrolled through what?
17:37He scrolled his photos and counted 11 of you.
17:41For Hannah, he stopped counting at 300.
17:47The line went silent for a few seconds.
17:51In 20 years, I have never seen him this broken.
17:58He read your old chats, then said one thing.
18:00What did he say?
18:03He said you told him next time 17 times.
18:08He said he never kept a single promise.
18:12I ended the call and stared out the window.
18:18A new text arrived from Ryan.
18:20Why didn't you tell me you were unhappy?
18:22Why didn't I tell him?
18:24Every time I spoke, someone else came first.
18:28Then, another message lit up the screen.
18:30I went to the apartment.
18:32You canceled it last week.
18:34The agent said you cried there for a long time.
18:36He finally walked into that apartment.
18:39I had spent four months making it ours.
18:42His first visit came after I let it go.
18:46You came too late.
18:52On my third day in the new city, I had two interviews.
18:56My new life was slowly finding a rhythm.
19:00Then Claire called me again at lunch.
19:04Ryan went back to the apartment yesterday.
19:07Why would he go there?
19:09He asked the agent to let him inside.
19:11He said he only wanted one look.
19:17What happened then?
19:20He stayed in there for two whole hours.
19:24I set my fork down on the plate.
19:28He said he froze the second he opened the door.
19:33Why would he freeze?
19:35He never knew you had decorated it that way.
19:43The walls were the cream white you picked.
19:47The curtains were the misty blue you love.
19:51A carpenter built the bookshelf from your own drawing.
19:56Your mint plant was still alive on the balcony.
20:02He never came to see it even once.
20:04For four months, I built that home alone.
20:08I sent him three photos and asked what he thought.
20:11You decide.
20:15They all look nice.
20:17He never even replied to the third one.
20:21After that, I stopped sending them to him.
20:25What else did he say?
20:27He found your renovation journal in a drawer.
20:34The last page had one line on it.
20:38I knew exactly which line she meant.
20:42You wrote you hoped he would like it when he walked in.
20:48The room went quiet, and so did the phone.
20:53I spent four months on it.
20:56He never came once.
20:59Then Hannah made one comment about the wall.
21:03And he wanted it repainted warm gray.
21:07Claire let out a long sigh.
21:10You really won't give him one chance?
21:14I gave him five years.
21:22Five years was every chance he would ever get.
21:26That afternoon, Ryan sent me a message.
21:29It was not words.
21:30It was a photo.
21:32The five keychains sat on the table beside my note.
21:35Below the picture, he had written a line.
21:37I counted.
21:38Five years, five keychains.
21:40I also listed Hannah's gifts.
21:4137 of them.
21:42He had finally counted something real.
21:45For the first time, he counted a number that was mine.
21:47He had never once counted my lonely nights.
21:50Now the numbers finally scared him.
21:52That night, after a shower, I opened our old chat.
21:55His latest messages had arrived at 8.
21:57I cleared all of Hannah's things from the apartment.
21:59Her shoes, her coat, her mug, her lipstick.
22:02All gone.
22:02I canceled the trip to Lake Tahoe.
22:04I took the custom necklace back from her.
22:06He took the necklace back at last.
22:08But that necklace never should have left his hands.
22:10He was cleaning up a mess years too late.
22:13He fixed everything for a woman who had left.
22:15I typed a few words and then hesitated.
22:18You took it back?
22:19He replied within seconds.
22:21I did.
22:22Maya, when are you coming home?
22:24I stared at the screen for a long, long moment.
22:29Then I typed my final answer.
22:32I'm not coming back.
22:36On the fourth day, Hannah messaged me.
22:40Maya, are you okay?
22:41I am fine.
22:42What happened between you and Rye?
22:44He has been a different person these days.
22:46He boxed up all my things and took the necklace back.
22:49Her message was not really about me and Ryan.
22:52It was about her things being cleared away.
22:54Then ask him.
22:55I did.
22:56He won't tell me anything.
22:58Maya, did the two of you fight?
23:00No, I left him.
23:01You left?
23:02Where did you even go?
23:03I left him for good.
23:04The typing bubble rose and vanished many times.
23:06Then a long message finally came through.
23:09Maya, maybe I shouldn't say this.
23:10But Rye treats you so well, you know?
23:13He is soft-hearted and kind to everyone.
23:15Don't get jealous just because he is nice to me.
23:17We really are only friends.
23:19Leaving him over this is not worth it.
23:21She thought I had left out of jealousy.
23:23She thought I was being unreasonable.
23:25Hannah, how has he ever been good to me?
23:27Three minutes passed before she answered.
23:29He dated you for five years and bought a home.
23:32You were going to be his wife.
23:33He always calls you independent and capable.
23:36He truly admires you, Maya.
23:38He admired me, but admiration is not love.
23:42He had never once cherished me at all.
23:48Hannah kept calling Ryan kind and warm, so I finally told her the whole truth.
23:53Every Valentine's, he flew to Aspen with you.
23:58I sat home alone and waited each time.
24:01Your birthday got a custom necklace.
24:03Two months in the making.
24:06My ring came off a website.
24:08No questions asked.
24:10On my own birthday, he forgot me completely.
24:15He carried your cabinet, but never my box of books.
24:20He saved 300 photo of you.
24:23Of me, he kept only 11.
24:25But those trips were only ever business.
24:28Business does not repeat one woman for five years.
24:32The typing bubble appeared, then stopped cold.
24:37Then, a voice note came through.
24:40Her voice shaking.
24:41Maya, I truly did not know any of this.
24:44Rye never told me that you were unhappy.
24:45I always thought the two of you were fine.
24:48Her first reaction was that she had no idea.
24:50For a second, I almost believed she was sorry.
24:52Then a second voice note arrived.
24:54But Maya, who will go to Aspen with him now?
24:56I worry about him traveling all alone.
24:57Her second thought was not an apology.
24:59It was only about who would keep him company.
25:01Hannah, he is my fiancé, not yours.
25:05Maya, you misunderstand.
25:06I did not mean that.
25:07You know exactly what you meant.
25:14Hannah went quiet, then switched to text.
25:17Maya, let me be honest with you.
25:18Rye's heart has always belonged to me.
25:22In five years, did he ever truly travel with you?
25:25Did he take one good photo of you?
25:27He stayed with you because you suit marriage.
25:29With me, he is actually happy.
25:32You are the kind a man lives with.
25:34I am the kind a man falls for.
25:36She was right about all of it.
25:38To Ryan, I was the woman to marry.
25:40Hannah was the woman to love.
25:43Thank you for telling me.
25:44Maya, please listen.
25:46Don't ever message me again.
25:48I deleted the entire chat.
25:52That night, Claire called me.
25:54Hannah called Ryan and forwarded your whole chat.
25:57She forwarded all of it?
25:58Every line.
25:59Even the part about being loved.
26:02What did Ryan say?
26:05He went silent for a long time.
26:07Then he said he never knew Hannah thought that way.
26:11She paused before she finished.
26:13But he admitted that Hannah was not wrong.
26:15He said he never loved you as he should have.
26:17At last, he had admitted the truth.
26:19But admitting it and fixing it are not the same.
26:23Claire, nothing he says matters now.
26:25You really won't go back to him?
26:27I waited five years and believed 17 promises.
26:31I just don't believe him anymore.
26:37On my seventh day in the new city, Ryan found me.
26:40His voice carried in from the front desk.
26:43Hello?
26:44Is Maya Brooks here today?
26:47I watched him through the glass office door.
26:49He looked thinner, unshaven, with dark circles.
26:52He held a small paper bag in one hand.
26:55The receptionist glanced at me.
26:56I shook my head at her.
26:58Ms. Brooks is not in the office today.
27:00When will she be back?
27:01Look, I'm not sure.
27:03Do you want to leave anything?
27:05He set something on the counter and left.
27:08The receptionist brought it over to me.
27:11It was a navy cashmere scarf with no letter on it.
27:14A small note sat inside the box.
27:17It read,
27:18Last winter you wanted a cashmere scarf.
27:20I said you didn't need one.
27:22I'm sorry I am a year too late.
27:24Back then, my small wish only annoyed him.
27:27Now that I had left, he suddenly acted devoted.
27:30The tendness was for show.
27:31Not for me.
27:32At five o'clock, a co-worker hurried over to me.
27:35A man has been standing in the lobby for hours.
27:38I walked to the window and looked down.
27:41Ryan stood below, hands in his pockets, staring at his phone.
27:45I took the elevator down and stepped outside.
27:49Maya, it's you.
27:50How did you even find this place?
27:52I asked Claire.
27:53He looked at me, ready to say a thousand things.
27:57Not one of them would come out.
28:03You've lost weight.
28:06So have you.
28:10Do you know how I got here?
28:12I took a red-eye flight last night.
28:15No one picked me up at the airport.
28:17So I took a rideshare alone to a hotel.
28:22The driver asked if I was really alone so late.
28:25I told him yes.
28:29He paused, his voice growing rough.
28:33The drive was 40 minutes through empty streets.
28:37Sitting in the back, I suddenly understood something.
28:42Understood what exactly?
28:48This was how you came home from my mother's.
28:52Always alone, always late, with no one driving you.
28:57I did not go there often.
29:00But every single time, you rode home alone.
29:06I never once drove you myself.
29:09He had felt one night of what I lived for years.
29:14His voice was shaking now.
29:19I sat in that car and saw how selfish I was.
29:24Ryan, please stop.
29:26Please, let me finish.
29:28He reached into his coat and pulled something out.
29:32It was the silver necklace with the aspen leaf.
29:36He had never given me anything close.
29:41I took this back from Hannah.
29:44It never should have been hers.
29:49I know that now.
29:52Do you know what you had ingraced on it?
29:54An R. My own initial.
29:56You put your initial on a gift for another woman.
30:00Did that ever feel normal to you?
30:03No.
30:04It never did.
30:14When you had it made, did you think of my empty hands?
30:17No.
30:17I never thought of that.
30:19On those trips, did you recall your 17 promises?
30:22No.
30:23I did not.
30:24Moving her cabinet, do you remember my box of books?
30:26No.
30:27I had no excuse at all.
30:28Each answer came out quieter than the last.
30:31I always thought you simply did not need those things.
30:33You never complained, so I assumed you did not care.
30:36I cared.
30:37I just stopped saying it out loud.
30:39I understand that now.
30:40You understand it far too late.
30:43He was silent for a long moment.
30:45What if we started over again?
30:46There is no starting over.
30:47Then what if I change beginning today?
30:49Ryan, just go home.
30:50I am not going anywhere.
30:51I turned to walk back inside.
30:53Maya, what if I take you to Aspen now?
30:55Not next time.
30:56We go right now.
30:56I stopped for one second.
30:58I don't want to go anymore.
30:59Why not, Maya?
31:01Because Aspen isn't just pretty view to me anymore.
31:03It is your five years with Hannah.
31:05His hand dropped to his side.
31:06The necklace slipped from his fingers and struck the floor.
31:09A faint metallic click rang out behind me.
31:12I did not turn around to look.
31:14Take the necklace.
31:15It was never mine.
31:19The next morning, a co-worker told me something.
31:23He sat in the lobby until sunrise, then left.
31:29I walked to the window and looked down.
31:31The lobby entrance stood empty now.
31:35At ten, a message came from Ryan.
31:38I will not give up.
31:41I will wait as long as you talk to me.
31:46At noon, Claire called me again.
31:48Ryan asked me to pass on a message.
31:52What is the message?
31:54He deleted every way to reach Hannah.
31:56He turned off their location sharing.
31:58He erased their whole chat history.
32:02And then what?
32:07He went to that little diner you two loved.
32:10That diner was where it all began.
32:13In our first year, he told me how he felt there.
32:16He swore we would return every anniversary.
32:19After that first time, he never went back.
32:22Now he chased that promise alone, years too late.
32:25He ate there alone and spoke to the owner.
32:28What did he say?
32:30He asked the owner to save him a seat.
32:32He promised to come back every single year.
32:35I said nothing for a moment.
32:37Claire let out a soft sigh.
32:39Maya, I know how much you suffered.
32:41But he really does seem to be changing.
32:43Whether he changes or not, it no longer matters.
32:47Why doesn't it?
32:51Because I am not the girl who waited five years ago.
32:57That afternoon, Ryan waited across the street at a cafe.
33:01I went down to buy coffee and saw him.
33:04You are still here.
33:06I told you I would wait.
33:08I have nothing left to say to you.
33:10But I do.
33:12Please look at this.
33:14He handed me a thick envelope.
33:15Inside was a stack of handwritten pages.
33:17The first page was titled,
33:19What I Owe Maya.
33:20Each line named one thing he had failed to do.
33:23He had skipped our very first anniversary dinner.
33:26He refused me a scarf, then bought one for Hannah.
33:29My third decorating photo never got a reply.
33:32He would not carry one box of books for me.
33:34In all, the list ran to 47 items.
33:37How long did this take you to write?
33:40It took two days.
33:42If you listed 47 in two days, you always knew.
33:45He had no reply to that.
33:48You knew you owed me.
33:50You chose Hannah anyway.
33:53I do care, Maya.
33:56If you cared, there would not be 47 items.
33:59I stood and pushed the envelope back to him.
34:01You remember my favorite flower now?
34:03You remember my birthday now?
34:05But you are five years too late.
34:09I walked toward the door.
34:12Hannah said you're the one a man marries,
34:14and she's the one he loves!
34:15I stopped at the threshold.
34:18She was wrong about that.
34:19You are the one who deserves to be loved.
34:23I simply put everything in the wrong order.
34:26You are right, Ryan.
34:27I do deserve to be loved.
34:28So I will choose a place where that can happen.
34:31It will not be beside you.
34:36A package arrived at my new office one morning.
34:38The sender was Ryan Hale.
34:40I hesitated, then opened the box.
34:42On top lay a folded letter in his handwriting.
34:45In it, he said he would not hold on to me.
34:49He wrote that he finally accepted it was over.
34:52After all his chasing, he was letting me go.
34:55Beneath the letter, wrapped in bubble wrap, was my journal.
34:58A card was tucked against the cover.
35:00It read,
35:01This holds four months of your work.
35:03I cannot keep it.
35:05He was giving back the home I had built.
35:07Under the journal sat the five old keychains.
35:10He had not thrown a single one away.
35:12He had kept every cheap little one.
35:14A note rested beside them.
35:16It read,
35:17These were everything you got in five years.
35:18They are yours.
35:19A co-worker glanced over at my desk.
35:21Everything okay over there, Maya?
35:23Yes.
35:24I'm fine, thank you.
35:25At the very bottom lay one more keychain.
35:27It was not from Aspen this time.
35:30It belonged to my new life, not his.
35:32A final note sat under it.
35:34It read,
35:35This is your city's landmark.
35:36I bought it at the airport.
35:37Hannah did not pick it.
35:39I chose it myself for the first time.
35:41For five years, he never once chose a gift for me.
35:44The first time he did, I was already gone.
35:46I held that small keychain in my hand for a long time.
35:52That afternoon, my mother called me.
35:55Maya, Ryan came by the house today.
35:58What did he go there for?
36:00He brought your father a gift and apologized.
36:02Your father would not let him inside.
36:05Did he leave?
36:07He did.
36:08Before he left, he said one thing.
36:11What did he say?
36:13He said,
36:14I'm sorry.
36:15I did not treat her well.
36:17My mother's voice caught for a second.
36:20Maya, are you truly finished with him?
36:23Mom, he stopped wanting me first.
36:25He chose Hannah for five years.
36:28I waited five years.
36:29I am not waiting anymore.
36:30Then take good care of yourself.
36:33I will, Mom.
36:35After the call, his last messages came through.
36:38I mailed you a box.
36:40My letter is on top.
36:42I also put some other things inside.
36:44If you don't want them, just throw them away.
36:47Please be careful, living on your own.
36:49I deleted the Aspen Snow album.
36:52There will be no sixth winter.
36:53I stared at that last line for a long time.
36:55My eyes blurtied for a moment.
36:57I typed a reply, then erased it.
37:00In the end, I sent him only one word.
37:03Received.
37:05On my way home, I stopped at a flower shop.
37:08I bought a bunch of Lysanias.
37:13He never knew it was my favorite flower.
37:16Now, I no longer needed him to know.
37:20At home, I put the flowers in a vase.
37:23I set the new keychain on my shelf.
37:27It was the first gift he ever truly chose.
37:32It was also the last that I would keep.
37:35My old journal still held that final line.
37:39I had hoped he would like it when he walked in.
37:43He walked in only after I let it go.
37:47But none of that mattered now.
37:50My next home, I will decorate bit by bit.
37:53Not to wait for anyone to walk in.
37:56Only to live there freely.
37:57As myself.
37:59I closed my eyes and spoke only to myself.
38:03I will not wait again.
38:08That afternoon, Ryan waited across the street at a cafe.
38:11I went down to buy coffee and saw him.
38:14You are still here.
38:16I told you I would wait.
38:18I have nothing left to say to you.
38:21But I do.
38:22Please look at this.
38:24He handed me a thick envelope.
38:26Inside was a stack of handwritten pages.
38:28The first page was titled,
38:30What I Owe Maya.
38:31Each line named one thing he had failed to do.
38:33He had skipped our very first anniversary dinner.
38:36He refused me a scarf.
38:38Then bought one for Hannah.
38:39My third decorating photo never got a reply.
38:42He would not carry one box of books for me.
38:45In all, the list ran to 47 items.
38:47How long did this take you to write?
38:51It took two days.
38:53If you listed 47 in two days, you always knew.
38:56He had no reply to that.
38:58You knew you owed me.
39:01You chose Hannah anyway.
39:03I do care, Maya.
39:06If you cared, there would not be 47 items.
39:09I stood and pushed the envelope back to him.
39:11You remember my favorite flower now.
39:13You remember my birthday now.
39:15But you are five years too late.
39:20I walked toward the door.
39:22Hannah said you're the one a man marries, and she's the one he loves.
39:26I stopped at the threat hold.
39:28She was wrong about that.
39:30You are the one who deserves to be loved.
39:33I simply put everything in the wrong order.
39:36You are right, Ryan.
39:37I do deserve to be loved.
39:39So I will choose a place where that can happen.
39:41It will not be beside you.
39:46A package arrived at my new office one morning.
39:49The sender was Ryan Hall.
39:51I hesitated, then opened the box.
39:53On top lay a folded letter in his handwriting.
39:55In it, he said he would not hold on to me.
39:59He wrote that he finally accepted it was over.
40:03After all his chasing, he was letting me go.
40:06Beneath the letter, wrapped in bubble wrap, was my journal.
40:08A card was tucked against the cover.
40:11It read, this holds four months of your work.
40:14I cannot keep it.
40:15He was giving back the home I had built.
40:18Under the journal sat the five old keychains.
40:20He had not thrown a single one away.
40:22He had kept every cheap little one.
40:24A note rested beside them.
40:26It read, these were everything you got in five years.
40:29They are yours.
40:30A co-worker glanced over at my desk.
40:32Everything okay over there, Maya?
40:33Yes.
40:34I'm fine, thank you.
40:36At the very bottom lay one more keychain.
40:38It was not from Aspen this time.
40:40It belonged to my new life, not his.
40:43A final note sat under it.
40:45It read, this is your city's landmark.
40:47I bought it at the airport.
40:48Hannah did not pick it.
40:49I chose it myself for the first time.
40:51For five years, he never once chose a gift for me.
40:54The first time he did, I was already gone.
40:57I held that small keychain in my hand for a long time.
41:03That afternoon, my mother called me.
41:06Maya Ryan came by the house today.
41:09What did he go there for?
41:10He brought your father a gift and apologized.
41:13Your father would not let him inside.
41:15Did he leave?
41:17He did.
41:19Before he left, he said one thing.
41:22What did he say?
41:24He said, I'm sorry.
41:26I did not treat her well.
41:28My mother's voice caught for a second.
41:30Maya, are you truly finished with him?
41:33Mom, he stopped wanting me first.
41:36He chose Hannah for five years.
41:38I waited five years.
41:40I am not waiting anymore.
41:41Then take good care of yourself.
41:44I will, Mom.
41:46After the call, his last messages came through.
41:49I mailed you a box.
41:50My letter is on top.
41:52I also put some other things inside.
41:55If you don't want them, just throw them away.
41:58Please be careful, living on your own.
42:00I deleted the Aspen Snow album.
42:02There will be no sixth winter.
42:03I stared at that last line for a long time.
42:06My eyes blurtied for a moment.
42:08I typed a reply, then erased it.
42:10In the end, I sent him only one word.
42:13Received.
42:15On my way home, I stopped at a flower shop.
42:19I bought a bunch of Lysochium.
42:23He never knew it was my favorite flower.
42:27Now, I no longer needed him to know.
42:31At home, I put the flowers in a vase.
42:34I set the new keycard on my shelf.
42:37It was the first gift he ever truly chose.
42:42It was also the last that I would keep.
42:45My old journal still held that final line.
42:50I had hoped he would like it when he walked in.
42:54He walked in only after I let it go.
42:58But none of that mattered now.
43:00My next home, I will decorate bit by bit.
43:04Not to wait for anyone to walk in.
43:06Only to live there freely, as myself.
43:09I closed my eyes and spoke only to myself.
43:13I will not wait again.
43:15I will not wait again.
43:15I Somnetsu.
43:17Not to wait for anyone to go as soon to Ritter.
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