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00:00The year I turned 18, I was drugged at a party, and stumbled into my stepbrother Reed Sterling's room.
00:05He mocked me, against his will.
00:07It was a full moon night he lost control.
00:09All I remember is the pain.
00:10After that night, I was carrying his child.
00:12That was after the Sterlings learned the truth.
00:14The truth that adopting me had cost them their real bloodline.
00:17Ten years.
00:18It took them ten years to realize that the day they chose me,
00:22the daughter they'd been searching for was right there too.
00:24Ten years ago, five-year-old me smiled at Reed, and he chose me.
00:28The wrong choice, without question.
00:30So he hated me, couldn't stand me, and couldn't stand the thought of his child growing inside me.
00:34That day, I took his hand and placed it on my stomach.
00:37I thought he'd want to feel it.
00:39You know what?
00:40You disgust me.
00:41You stole my sister's life.
00:43Why didn't you die instead?
00:44His cold, hard rejection sent a pain through me I'd never felt before.
00:48I could feel something tearing away inside me.
00:50He got his wish.
00:51My baby died, and so did I.
00:53Before my eyes closed, I thought back on this life.
00:56From five to fifteen, I was truly happy.
00:59The sterlings were good to me.
01:01The lakefront house in Bellevue always smelled like coffee in the morning.
01:04On Sundays, the warm scent of fresh laundry drifted from the laundry room.
01:08And Reed, we weren't even in the same grade.
01:10But he still took me to school and picked me up every day.
01:13When I was little, I'd do homework at the kitchen island,
01:15and he'd sit on the couch pretending to watch TV.
01:18He wasn't really watching.
01:19He was just there.
01:20By the time he started college, he was already 6'1",
01:23the kind of guy people just moved out of the way for.
01:26But with me, he was always close.
01:28Always put me first.
01:29I fell for him so easily, it was almost embarrassing.
01:31He was in my diary, locked behind a passcode no one could crack.
01:35Then one day, everything changed.
01:36Reed wasn't the Reed I loved anymore.
01:38After that night, he hated me even more.
01:40Before I died, I wasn't scared.
01:42Not even a little.
01:43I even thought it wasn't so bad.
01:44But somehow I opened my eyes again.
01:46I was back to the day they came to the group home.
01:51Nola, what are you doing back here?
01:55Mrs. Linda, I don't want to go.
01:58Silly girl, it's the Steelers.
02:00If they pick you, you'll finally have a real home, sweetheart.
02:02Just smile, okay?
02:03That's all you have to do.
02:04Just one smile.
02:05One smile.
02:05I thought of Reed's eyes in my past life.
02:08Cold, hateful.
02:09The moment that black Range Rover pulled up,
02:11I hid in the storage closet.
02:13I don't know how long I sat in there.
02:14At some point, I fell asleep.
02:16By the time they found me,
02:18the Sterlings had already left.
02:19They didn't end up choosing anyone.
02:21I didn't know why.
02:22Didn't care either.
02:23Three other kids in the room.
02:24Just like me.
02:25No family.
02:26I didn't know who the Sterlings' biological daughter was.
02:28The one who'd been taken from them.
02:30But in my past life,
02:31I'd overheard it on one of Ms. Linda's phone calls.
02:33The Sterlings believed she was here.
02:35In this group home,
02:36I didn't want anything to do with the Sterlings.
02:38Not this time.
02:39But in my last life,
02:40the first ten years with them,
02:41the Sterlings and Reed had been good to me.
02:43Really.
02:44Genuinely good.
02:45If their real daughter could find her way back to them,
02:47we'd be even.
02:48But before I could do anything about it,
02:50the Sterlings came back a second time.
02:52All the girls around five or six were lined up for a DNA test.
02:54A cotton swab along the inside of the cheek.
02:57Dropped into a vial.
02:58This never happened in my past life.
03:00Word was,
03:00this DNA test had been requested
03:02by the Sterlings' young master himself.
03:04Could it be?
03:05Had Reed been reborn too?
03:08I lowered my head and stepped aside.
03:10Even though his wolf hadn't awakened yet,
03:12I could feel it.
03:13Something about him that made you not want to get too close.
03:15The next day,
03:17the girl who slept across from me,
03:18Iris,
03:19was gone.
03:20Iris never talked much.
03:21She cried all the time.
03:23A total crybaby.
03:24Turns out,
03:24she was the Sterlings' biological daughter.
03:26Two days later,
03:27the Sterlings came back again.
03:28This time,
03:29they said they wanted to adopt a girl
03:30to keep their daughter company.
03:31And this time,
03:32I didn't hide.
03:32All of us,
03:33me included,
03:34lined up in a row,
03:35waiting for the Sterlings to come pick.
03:36The first one out of the car
03:37was the Sterlings' little girl.
03:38The crybaby who used to cry over everything.
03:41Now treated like a princess
03:42by everyone around her.
03:43There was something around Iris
03:44I couldn't quite name.
03:45Not perfume.
03:46More like a warmth.
03:48The Sterling family's warmth.
03:50A bunch of kids rushed up to her.
03:52We were all young.
03:53A group home kids learn early.
03:54You learn to read adults.
03:56You learn to read a room.
03:57Everyone knew.
03:58If you got to leave with Iris today,
04:00you'd get to wear pretty dresses like hers.
04:02Live in a big house.
04:03Have your own room.
04:04But for some reason,
04:05Iris stopped in front of me.
04:06My stomach dropped.
04:08Before I even realized what I was doing,
04:09I shoved her away.
04:10Nola!
04:10Iris!
04:13That day,
04:14Ms. Linda made me stay in my room
04:15for three hours.
04:16No coming out.
04:17I thought there was no way
04:18the Sterlings would still want me
04:20after what I did.
04:21But three days later,
04:22I was sitting in that black Range Rover.
04:23Ms. Linda said the Sterlings
04:25had filed for my foster placement.
04:26The paperwork was already done.
04:27I froze.
04:28But it was already settled.
04:29All I could do was accept it.
04:31Iris, at least,
04:32was easy to be around.
04:33And the Sterlings,
04:34just like the first ten years
04:35of my past life,
04:36were kind to me.
04:37The coldest one in the house
04:38was Reed.
04:38He barely spoke to me.
04:39But sometimes,
04:40I'd catch him watching me in silence.
04:42A flash of gold in his eyes.
04:43Gone before I could be sure.
04:44A few days later,
04:45after dinner.
04:46Dad,
04:47the group home's furnace is ancient.
04:48It keeps breaking down every winter.
04:50Can we get them a new one?
04:51The truth was,
04:52I'd been trying to figure out the same thing.
04:54How to keep the group home
04:55from the disaster.
04:56In my last life,
04:57the group home caught fire.
04:59An old space heater
05:00short-circuited in the middle of the night.
05:01Those heaters were all second-hand donations.
05:04Used for God knows how many years.
05:05And those kids,
05:06their wolves were still dormant.
05:07They didn't have the adult wolf instinct
05:09to sense danger in their sleep.
05:10Smoke,
05:11temperature,
05:12completely unaware in the haze.
05:13They were just like any normal child.
05:15The group home never had enough funding.
05:17A second-hand space heater
05:18could last ten years.
05:19You're right,
05:20I should have thought of that.
05:21They looked after Iris for years.
05:23The Sterlings replaced
05:24the group home's entire furnace
05:25and donated a large sum on top of it.
05:28I hadn't expected Reed
05:29to do something like that.
05:30I still kept my distance from him,
05:31but honestly,
05:32I was grateful,
05:33setting aside everything
05:34between us from the past.
05:35Reed's rebirth had genuinely
05:36saved a lot of people
05:37from a terrible fate.
05:40In the blink of an eye,
05:42Iris and I were both
05:43old enough for high school.
05:44Reed was still in college,
05:45but he'd already started
05:46interning at the family firm.
05:47He and I still barely crossed paths.
05:50I kept my distance on purpose,
05:51and Reed was just as cold
05:52toward me as ever.
05:53The contrast with how he treated Iris
05:54couldn't have been more obvious.
05:56I knew the deal.
05:57The Sterlings adopted me
05:58to give Iris a companion.
05:59That was always the point.
06:00So for all those years,
06:01school and Iris,
06:03that was my life.
06:04When everyone found out
06:05I wanted to transfer
06:05from the PAC school
06:06to a human high school,
06:08the Sterlings,
06:08even Reed,
06:09looked at me in surprise.
06:11Nola,
06:11why would you want to transfer
06:12to a human school
06:13all of a sudden?
06:14Your grades are great,
06:15but you know there's
06:16no PAC support over there,
06:17right?
06:18No PAC support meant
06:19everything would be on me.
06:20But I didn't want to stay.
06:21This time,
06:22I wanted to live my own life.
06:23The Sterlings took turns
06:24trying to talk me out of it.
06:25I didn't budge.
06:26Let her go.
06:27The living room went quiet
06:29for two seconds.
06:30No one argued after that.
06:31One night during finals,
06:33I stayed in the library
06:34studying until almost eleven.
06:35By the time I came out,
06:36the school entrance was deserted.
06:37November.
06:38The wind was brutal.
06:39I walked along the sidewalk,
06:40shoulders hunched,
06:41streetlights flickering on
06:43and off in patches.
06:44The streets around
06:45the human school
06:45were nothing like Bellevue.
06:47No Sterling security.
06:48No one who knew my name.
06:52Where are you?
06:53I didn't answer.
06:54You're just now heading home?
06:56Yeah.
06:56Where are you?
06:58By the 7-Eleven near school.
07:00Don't move.
07:00I'm coming to get you.
07:01It's fine.
07:02I can...
07:04Ten minutes later,
07:05a black Mercedes
07:06turned the corner.
07:07He didn't kill the engine,
07:08just rolled down the window
07:09and looked at me.
07:10I got in the passenger seat.
07:11I reached for the seatbelt.
07:12Pulled.
07:13It wouldn't budge.
07:14Reed reached over
07:14and yanked it free in one pull.
07:16When his fingers brushed
07:17past my collarbone,
07:18my whole body flinched
07:19toward the door.
07:20He didn't say anything.
07:24Are you afraid of me?
07:27In my past life,
07:29I was at the pack school.
07:30Those kids always knew
07:31which side to be on.
07:32A girl splashed milk on me.
07:35Sorry.
07:36I pulled myself out
07:37of those memories.
07:38The car had already turned
07:40into the Bellevue neighborhood.
07:41There was a faint scent
07:42in the car.
07:42Cedar and rain.
07:43My wolf was still dormant.
07:44I shouldn't have been able
07:45to pick up on it.
07:46But it was there.
07:49The car pulled into the garage.
07:51He killed the engine.
07:52I stared at the clock
07:53on the dashboard.
07:54It's 11.47.
07:55He pulled the key,
07:56pushed the door open,
07:57and got out.
08:00I followed behind.
08:01Two, three steps back.
08:04After that night,
08:05everything was swallowed up
08:06by schoolwork.
08:07Every night,
08:07I sat hunched over my desk
08:08doing homework
08:09until my eyes burned.
08:10Iris' college was already set.
08:13Nora,
08:13I thought once summer started,
08:14you'd finally hang out with me.
08:15You're seriously doing
08:16a summer program?
08:17It is what it is.
08:18But it's been so long
08:19since we've done anything together.
08:21It's fine.
08:21Have fun.
08:22Send me pictures of everything.
08:23Cool stuff,
08:24good food,
08:24all of it.
08:25It'll be like I went too.
08:26After Iris left,
08:27I started spending every day
08:28after school in the library
08:30until the staff kicked me out.
08:32Then I'd walk to the McDonald's
08:33on the corner,
08:33order a coffee,
08:34and sit there until late.
08:36Catherine wasn't happy at first,
08:38me coming home so late every night.
08:40But in the end,
08:41she didn't say much about it.
08:45Senior year,
08:46a whole week off.
08:47Iris came to pick me up
08:48from school the second it started.
08:49But when I walked out,
08:50Reed in the driver's seat,
08:51I thought about what Catherine
08:53always said.
08:53How after all these years,
08:55Reed still hadn't sensed his mate.
08:57Nona!
08:58Noah!
08:59We're right here!
09:00Every time she brought it up,
09:01Iris would volunteer
09:02to find him a boyfriend.
09:04Reed!
09:04I want to go to that new steakhouse
09:06in Belleville!
09:07When we got there,
09:09Reed gave a name.
09:11The hostess took us
09:12straight to a window table.
09:14Nora!
09:14What do you want to eat?
09:15I shifted in my seat.
09:16A little uneasy.
09:17I'm good with anything.
09:19Mushroom soup
09:20and herb crust filet instead.
09:21I quietly let out a breath.
09:25My stomach had been bad lately,
09:27I'd been trying to eat on time every day.
09:29But when the pain hit,
09:30after dinner,
09:31we headed back to Bellevue.
09:32My stomach kept getting worse.
09:33I dug out some Pepto
09:34and took two.
09:37I was trying to finish a paper due
09:38right after spring break.
09:39Used up every last bit of energy I had.
09:41When I got home,
09:42I crashed
09:43and didn't wake up
09:43until the next day.
09:44It was the stomach pain
09:45that woke me up.
09:46I was about to go find something to eat.
09:47I opened the door
09:48and there was Reed
09:49leaning against the hallway wall.
09:51We both froze for a second.
09:52His eyes flashed gold.
09:54Then he looked away.
09:56Mom says come down for food.
09:57Iris pushed a sandwich
09:58she'd made for me across the table.
09:59Nola,
10:00you're seriously amazing.
10:02You're going to get what you want.
10:03I know it.
10:05April,
10:06college offers started rolling in.
10:07The day results came out.
10:08The whole Sterling family stayed home.
10:10I sat on the couch in the living room
10:12and logged into the application portal.
10:16The page loaded for two seconds.
10:22Oh my god!
10:24My hands were shaking.
10:25I hugged her back.
10:26I'd gotten offers from several schools.
10:29East coast,
10:29west coast.
10:30But I chose Boston.
10:31Five hour flight from Seattle.
10:33Three hour time difference.
10:34He was on the west side.
10:35Then I'd go east.
10:36Catherine wasn't happy about it.
10:37She nearly backed out
10:38of the graduation trip
10:39we'd already planned.
10:40Iris talked her mom around.
10:41Again, Iris.
10:42She was so good.
10:43She didn't always understand my choices.
10:45But she always respected them.
10:47April,
10:48prom season.
10:49The hallways were full of promposals.
10:51Within one week,
10:53three different guys
10:54asked me to be their prom date.
10:55One slipped a note into my locker.
10:57One did it at lunch
10:58in front of the entire cafeteria.
11:01One sent a friend
11:02to ask on his behalf.
11:04Sorry, I can't.
11:05I turned them all down.
11:07After that,
11:08Iris and I went to Europe together.
11:10Just the two of us.
11:11Our own trip.
11:13When we got back,
11:14I made one more stop.
11:15The group home in Portland.
11:16Ms. Linda still remembered me.
11:18When she heard I'd gotten into college,
11:19she almost cried.
11:20Good.
11:22Good sweetheart.
11:23Once she'd pulled herself together,
11:24she asked if the Sterlings
11:25had been treating me well.
11:26I nodded.
11:27Yeah,
11:28really well.
11:29This life,
11:30I really had been lucky.
11:33The night Iris flew to England,
11:35I packed my bags too.
11:38Catherine couldn't understand
11:39why I wanted to leave
11:40for school so early.
11:42That night,
11:43walking past Catherine's room,
11:44I heard her voice
11:45through the door.
11:46She's never going to see us
11:47as her real family.
11:48No matter what we do,
11:49she's always going to leave.
11:55I went back to my room,
11:56didn't turn on the light,
11:57just sat there in the dark
11:58until morning.
12:00The next day,
12:01the Sterlings drove me to SeaTac.
12:02Call us if you need anything.
12:04Don't forget to eat.
12:06We're always here.
12:08Okay, Mom.
12:09At the airport,
12:10I said goodbye to each of them.
12:11I reached for the suitcase
12:12in Reed's hand.
12:13Let's go.
12:18Then board the same plane.
12:20He sat down next to me.
12:24What?
12:25Then he slipped a gray neck pillow
12:26behind my head.
12:27When his fingers grazed
12:28the back of my neck,
12:29my whole body went stiff.
12:31I kept my earbuds in,
12:32sat rigid the entire time,
12:34didn't sleep for a single second.
12:36After we landed,
12:37Reed carried my luggage
12:38all the way from the parking lot
12:39to the dorm.
12:42My roommates thought
12:43he was my boyfriend.
12:44After he left,
12:45they found out he was my brother.
12:46Every single one of them
12:47came at me for his Instagram.
12:48Girl, that is not a brother faith!
12:54The truth is,
12:55in this life,
12:56Reed and I barely interacted at all.
12:58I knew he didn't like me,
12:59so I always kept my distance.
13:00Not once,
13:01and it wasn't just him.
13:02I kept my distance from everyone.
13:04In my past life,
13:05he hated the smile
13:06I gave him when I was five.
13:08I never understood why,
13:09but that day,
13:09at the group home,
13:10he looked at every girl
13:11in the line,
13:12and in the end,
13:12he walked over to me,
13:13all because I smiled at him.
13:15He chose me,
13:15and Iris was left behind.
13:17The reborn Reed,
13:19he probably hated my smile too.
13:21So in the Sterling house,
13:22I was always guarded,
13:24always careful.
13:25The only time I could relax
13:26was around Iris.
13:27Now that I was in Boston,
13:29I didn't have to face
13:30any of them anymore.
13:31I could finally breathe.
13:33The only hard part was Christmas.
13:35Every year,
13:35I had to come up with
13:36a new excuse not to go back.
13:37The first year,
13:38Iris FaceTimed me.
13:39She looked a little hurt.
13:40The second year,
13:41I still didn't go back.
13:42Nola?
13:43What's going on with you?
13:45I feel like you didn't
13:46just go to college,
13:47you left us.
13:48For good.
13:49Iris waited for a long time,
13:51then she hung up.
13:51That night,
13:52I made myself a cup of hot cocoa.
13:54That gray neck pillow
13:55was still at the bottom
13:56of my closet.
13:56Some nights,
13:57a trace of cedar and rain
13:58would drift through.
13:59I was never sure
14:00if I was really smelling it
14:01or just remembering.
14:06The truth is,
14:07in this life,
14:08Reed and I barely interacted at all.
14:10I knew he didn't like me,
14:11so I always kept my distance.
14:12Not once,
14:13and it wasn't just him.
14:14I kept my distance from everyone.
14:16In my past life,
14:17he hated the smile
14:18I gave him when I was five.
14:19I never understood why,
14:20but that day,
14:21at the group home,
14:22he looked at every girl
14:23in the line,
14:23and in the end,
14:24he walked over to me,
14:25all because I smiled at him.
14:26He chose me,
14:27and Iris was left behind.
14:29The reborn Reed,
14:30he probably hated my smile too.
14:33So in the Sterling house,
14:34I was always guarded,
14:35always careful.
14:37The only time I could relax
14:38was around Iris.
14:39Now that I was in Boston,
14:41I didn't have to face
14:42any of them anymore.
14:43I could finally breathe.
14:45The only hard part was Christmas.
14:46Every year,
14:47I had to come up with a new excuse
14:48not to go back.
14:49The first year,
14:50Iris FaceTimed me.
14:51She looked a little hurt.
14:52The second year,
14:53I still didn't go back.
14:54Nola?
14:55What's going on with you?
14:57I feel like you didn't
14:58just go to college,
14:59you left us.
15:00For good.
15:01Iris waited for a long time,
15:02then she hung up.
15:03That night,
15:04I made myself a cup of hot cocoa.
15:05That gray neck pillow
15:07was still at the bottom
15:07of my closet.
15:08Some nights,
15:09a trace of cedar and rain
15:10would drift through.
15:11I was never sure
15:12if I was really smelling it,
15:13or just remembering.
15:18I finished the hot cocoa
15:20and lay in bed.
15:22The dorm was almost empty,
15:23not a single person
15:24in the hallway.
15:26I forced my eyes shut.
15:28Then my phone buzzed.
15:34Iris?
15:35Nola!
15:35Come downstairs!
15:39Iris had already spotted me,
15:40and it wasn't just Iris.
15:42David, Catherine,
15:43even Reed.
15:43All of them standing there.
15:44Catherine was holding
15:45a bag of groceries.
15:46David had a little
15:47tabletop Christmas treat.
15:49Nola!
15:50I suddenly felt like
15:51I'd been so selfish.
15:53I knew it.
15:54I knew you missed us.
15:56In that moment,
15:57wrapped up in Iris' arms,
15:58I felt a gaze settle on me.
16:00That night,
16:01Catherine cooked Christmas dinner
16:02in the communal kitchen
16:03on my floor.
16:04A big pot of pasta,
16:05garlic,
16:06olive oil,
16:07parmesan.
16:08The whole floor
16:08smelled like it.
16:09It's picnic-style Christmas.
16:11Halfway through eating,
16:12Iris noticed something was off.
16:14I couldn't stop shaking.
16:15She touched my forehead.
16:17You're burning up!
16:18Iris dragged me to the ER.
16:20When the blood work came back,
16:22they said I couldn't go home.
16:23If we hadn't come,
16:24how long were you gonna
16:25let yourself burn like that?
16:26She always showed up
16:27when I needed her most.
16:29Everything went black.
16:33When I opened my eyes again,
16:35I was in the ICU.
16:37The doctors at the human hospital
16:38said it was acute kidney failure.
16:40But the pack doctor
16:41the Sterlings brought in,
16:42after reviewing all my charts,
16:44pulled David and Catherine
16:45into the hallway.
16:46I caught fragments
16:47through the door.
16:48Incomplete first shift,
16:49her wolf tried to emerge
16:50but failed.
16:50The shift damaged
16:51her organs on the way out.
16:53My wolf had finally
16:53tried to wake up,
16:54but she was too weak.
16:55The shift stalled halfway.
16:57Never completed.
16:58My kidneys were torn apart
16:59in the process.
16:59Dialysis at the human hospital
17:01could only buy time.
17:02The pack doctor said
17:03I needed to be transferred
17:03to the pack hospital
17:04in Seattle.
17:05But it didn't matter.
17:06Human hospital or pack hospital.
17:07The conclusion was
17:08the same.
17:08The only way I'd survive
17:09was a kidney transplant.
17:10I stared at the ceiling.
17:12I didn't understand.
17:13I'd been trying so hard.
17:14So hard to break free
17:15from the Sterlings.
17:15To build my own life.
17:17I'd gotten into a good school.
17:18Two more years
17:19and I'd be working.
17:21And now,
17:21everything had gone dark.
17:23I was transferred
17:23to the pack hospital
17:24in Seattle.
17:25I saw Iris.
17:25Eyes swollen from crying.
17:28Her school was about to start.
17:29She didn't go.
17:31Took a leave of absence.
17:32Refused to leave my side.
17:34And the pack doctor said
17:35that because my kidneys
17:35were damaged by an incomplete shift,
17:37a human kidney might not be compatible.
17:39A wolf's kidney would be best.
17:40The pool of potential donors
17:42shrank to almost nothing.
17:43What I didn't expect
17:44was that Iris went behind
17:45everyone's backs
17:45and got herself tested.
17:47And she was a match.
17:52I lay in the hospital bed
17:54listening to Catherine's voice
17:55in the hallway.
17:56Iris, have you thought about this?
17:59If you give up a kidney,
18:00what happens to you
18:01for the rest of your life?
18:02Stop telling me you'll be fine
18:03with one kidney.
18:04You don't know that.
18:06I won't allow it.
18:07Do you hear me?
18:08I won't allow it.
18:09Tears rolled down my face.
18:12Iris,
18:13I won't let you do this either.
18:14I waited until no one
18:15from the Sterling family
18:16was around.
18:17Then I packed my things
18:18and left the hospital.
18:20I had nowhere to go.
18:22And I didn't want
18:22the Sterlings to find me.
18:24I couldn't even fly.
18:26The PAC hospital
18:27had my information on file.
18:28The second I booked a ticket,
18:30the Sterlings would know.
18:31I called a car
18:32from outside the hospital.
18:34Told the driver
18:35to keep heading south.
18:40Sacramento.
18:41A city I'd never been to before.
18:43I'd always planned
18:44to pay the Sterlings back
18:45every dollar
18:46they'd spend on me
18:47over the years.
18:48But now,
18:49that was clearly
18:50never going to happen.
18:51This life I'd always owe them.
18:54I found a tiny studio
18:56on a quiet side street.
18:58Craigslist listing.
19:00Cheap rent.
19:01Everything old.
19:02To keep myself
19:03looking somewhat normal,
19:04I got a job
19:05at a flower shop
19:06wrapping bouquets.
19:07The owner was a Mexican lady
19:08in her 60s.
19:09She didn't ask me
19:10any questions.
19:10She looked at me once
19:11and told me to come in
19:12at 9 the next morning.
19:13The hours weren't long.
19:15Six a day.
19:16It wasn't hard work.
19:22But every time
19:23I came back
19:23to that little studio,
19:24I felt lonely.
19:30Valentine's Day.
19:31The flower shop
19:32was slammed until late.
19:33By the time I clocked out,
19:35it was almost
19:35one in the morning.
19:36Sacramento was quiet
19:37at night.
19:38The last bus
19:38was long gone.
19:40All I could do
19:40was walk home.
19:45But on the way,
19:46I kept feeling like
19:47someone was a little
19:47and was behind me.
19:48Up ahead was
19:49a narrow stretch.
19:50No streetlights.
19:51No one around.
19:52I started walking faster
19:53and faster.
19:55But the footsteps
19:56behind me,
19:56they sped up too.
19:58I panicked.
20:00Tripped.
20:01Hit the ground.
20:03Someone was coming
20:04toward me.
20:04I screamed,
20:05scrambled backward.
20:06The headlines
20:07started flooding in.
20:08Rape.
20:08Murder.
20:09Body found three days
20:10later in a ditch.
20:11A hand closed
20:12around my wrist.
20:13Please.
20:14Please let me go.
20:15Please.
20:15I'm sick.
20:16I swear.
20:17I don't have any money.
20:18Please.
20:18Just let me go.
20:22Help.
20:23I kicked and hit it
20:24whoever was in front of me.
20:26Then someone pulled me in.
20:27Held me tight.
20:29Nola.
20:30Nola.
20:33It's me.
20:34I'm here.
20:35It's me.
20:36I froze for one second.
20:38That scent came back.
20:40In the dark.
20:41It wrapped around me
20:42completely.
20:47I was here.
20:50I did not know.
20:51I didn't know how Reed found me here.
20:54I didn't know how Reed found me here.
20:55I didn't want to know why he came after me.
20:56In our past life he hated me.
20:58So why?
20:59Over the next few days, Reed was just there, following me, quietly.
21:02He didn't talk, didn't explain, didn't get too close.
21:06He was just there.
21:07He sat in the cafe across the street, pretending to look at his phone.
21:10When I walked home after work, he walked behind me.
21:13Half a block back, I didn't want to deal with it, didn't want to ask.
21:18But the flower shop owner noticed.
21:20She glanced out the window at Reed sitting in the cafe,
21:23then looked back at me.
21:24Boyfriend trouble?
21:28I didn't answer.
21:32Just walked out in silence.
21:36I refused to take anything from the Sterlings.
21:39Not anymore.
21:40One time, Reed showed up outside my building again.
21:45I couldn't hold it in.
21:47I walked up to him.
21:51Let me go.
21:52Clean.
21:54Is that too much to ask?
21:55His eyes changed.
21:56Gold, deep gold.
21:58Not the usual flash that came and went.
22:01His wolf had surfaced completely.
22:03But he didn't move.
22:07Nola.
22:09I'm sorry.
22:10He just stood there.
22:12Eyes full of grief.
22:16My condition was getting worse.
22:18The next time I ended up in the ICU,
22:20I was transferred back to the pack hospital in Seattle.
22:26Iris sat at the edge of my bed again.
22:29She held my hand.
22:31Pressed her forehead against the back of it.
22:33Her shoulders were shaking.
22:36Nola, please.
22:37Nola, please.
22:38Let me do this.
22:39Let me save you.
22:40Please.
22:45You're my sister.
22:46Do you hear me?
22:49Do you hear me?
22:50You're my sister.
22:51That was the first time Iris ever said that to me.
22:55I held her hand.
22:56Weak.
22:57Shook my head.
22:58I was happy she said it.
22:59But no matter how many times she did,
23:02I couldn't let Iris give me her kidney.
23:05Before, the reason I refused was because I couldn't go through it again.
23:08What if something happened to Iris because of me?
23:10I couldn't imagine how the Sterlings would treat me after that.
23:12But now, the reason was different.
23:14I simply couldn't ruin the rest of Iris' life.
23:16She was young.
23:17Her wolf had only just awakened.
23:18Losing a kidney, no one knew what that would do to her wolf.
23:21Catherine had aged so much these past weeks.
23:25The elegant Alpha's wife.
23:27Now with lines carved deep around her eyes.
23:30I knew she regretted it.
23:32After what she'd said, Iris still refused to speak to her.
23:36Catherine blamed herself.
23:37Thought she'd been a terrible mother.
23:39That her selfishness had made my condition worse.
23:42But I never blamed Catherine.
23:44Not really.
23:45Because I knew.
23:46It wasn't just Iris who went and got tested.
23:49Catherine did too.
23:50She just wasn't a match.
23:51And she never told anyone she'd tried.
23:53Then, just when everyone was about to lose hope,
23:56the PAC hospital called.
23:58They'd found a kidney for me.
24:04I made up an excuse.
24:05Told them there was a problem at the West Coast branch.
24:07Said I had to fly out.
24:09Mom gave me grief for it.
24:10Said Nola had finally gotten a donor match.
24:12She was about to go into surgery.
24:14And me, her brother, couldn't even be bothered to care.
24:17Then she started...
24:17You remember Iris' birthday every single year.
24:20Every single year.
24:22But Nola's, you've never once remembered.
24:25She's your sister too.
24:28But you're the only one in this family who's always treated her like an outsider.
24:32I smiled bitterly.
24:34The truth was, when it came to Nola, I never knew how to face her.
24:38Every time I saw her, my past life came rushing back.
24:41What I did to her, I always knew.
24:44Deep down, I knew.
24:45Iris' death in our past life had nothing to do with Nola.
24:48But back then, we were all drowning in grief.
24:51None of us could see straight.
24:52So I watched.
24:53Every time Nola was bullied, humiliated, I clenched my jaw and looked the other way.
24:57Iris was dead.
24:58Nola should be in pain too.
25:00I even went out of my way to say things that would cut her.
25:03Until that party.
25:05The one where someone slipped something in Nola's drink.
25:08I heard about it at school that day.
25:10I went after her immediately.
25:12What I didn't expect was Nola clinging to me the moment she saw me, refusing to let go.
25:18I lost control.
25:20My wolf broke free for the first time.
25:23He chose her.
25:24And from that night on, he never went quiet again.
25:28Afterward, the regret was instant.
25:30When I found out Nola was pregnant.
25:34That day, she begged me, pleaded, said no, please no, I didn't listen.
25:39I rejected her.
25:41Brutally.
25:42And that's when I finally understood what I was.
25:45A complete and utter piece of shit.
25:50In this life, I brought Iris back.
25:52And I brought Nola back too.
25:54I thought I was making things right.
25:55But slowly, I started to realize.
25:58Nola wasn't happy.
26:00It's not like I didn't notice.
26:01Back at the group home, she was already hiding from us.
26:04But I told myself, the Sterlings could give her a better life.
26:07And besides, in our past life, we owed her.
26:09So this time around, when Nola wanted to go to a human high school, I convinced the family
26:14to let her.
26:15When she wanted to go to a school five hours away, by plane, I convinced them again.
26:20What Nola didn't know was that over her two years in Boston, I flew out to see her more
26:25than once.
26:26The lecture halls, the library, even outside her dorm.
26:30Every time, I suppressed my scent.
26:34Every time, my wolf fought me.
26:36He wanted to get closer.
26:37I wouldn't let him.
26:40Then one day, she was suddenly in the hospital.
26:44Incomplete first shift.
26:46Her wolf had finally tried to wake up.
26:48But she was too weak.
26:50The shift never finished.
26:52Her kidneys were damaged in the process.
26:54I watched mom fight Iris on the kidney donation.
26:58I also watched mom quietly get herself tested.
27:01Then dragged dad to get tested too.
27:04Neither matched.
27:05So I went and got tested on my own.
27:08My kidney was a match for Nola.
27:14I used the West Coast branch as my excuse.
27:17I went into surgery first.
27:19Before they wheeled me in, I looked down the hallway.
27:22The light above the door of the next OR was on.
27:25She was behind that door.
27:27I knew.
27:28I stopped the doctor before we went in.
27:31Take care of her.
27:33Whatever it takes.
27:41The surgery went well.
27:44I was transferred to a different hospital to recover.
27:47My family was happy.
27:48Messages kept coming in.
27:50One after another.
27:51The surgery was a success.
27:54Nola's numbers were improving.
27:56No one knew whose kidney it was.
27:58And me, I realized that missing a kidney didn't really change much.
28:02If it weren't for the scar, I'd sometimes forget there was something missing inside me.
28:07Once I was healed up, I went back to doing what I'd always done.
28:13Flying to Boston to see Nola.
28:15After that, Nola went back to Boston to finish school.
28:18I knew her grades were good.
28:20I knew she'd gotten into a top research lab by her senior year.
28:23One day I saw Nola walk out of the campus gate.
28:26There was a guy next to her.
28:27Walking close.
28:29And Nola's eyes, that look she had, shy.
28:32Bright.
28:33A smile she couldn't hold back, even if she tried.
28:36I'd never seen her smile like that.
28:38Not once.
28:39Not at me.
28:40Not at anyone in our family.
28:42Never.
28:43And it hurt so bad I couldn't breathe.
28:44I thought to myself, maybe the surgeons made a mistake last time.
28:48Maybe they gave Nola half my heart along with the kidney.
28:51Because what else could explain this kind of pain?
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