- 22 hours ago
In 1989, professional NHL player Clint Malarchuk experienced one of the worst injuries ever seen in the sport, which would completely change the trajectory of his life, leading him down a very dark road.
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00:00As the puck was put into the center for the St. Louis Blues to score,
00:03there was a violent collision between their forward, Steve Tuttle, and the Sabres' defender,
00:08knocking down the Sabres' goalie, Clint Malachuk, in the process.
00:12The contact itself didn't seem like anything out of the ordinary for an NHL game,
00:16but as Clint collapsed to the ground, clutching at his throat,
00:19it quickly became clear that the collision was far worse than it first appeared.
00:23As Clint lay on the ice, a dark red puddle started to form in front of him,
00:28growing larger with each beat of his heart.
00:30In the chaos of the collision, as Steve Tuttle was flipped onto his back,
00:35his blade had cut open Clint's throat, completely severing his jugular.
00:39The players on both teams screamed for medical assistance.
00:42Seeing the blood spill onto the ice, some fans started fainting in the stands.
00:47Three of the players vomited, and there were even reports of two fans experiencing heart attacks
00:52at the confronting site.
00:53It was total chaos, and it all happened so quickly.
00:57The referee called for a stretcher, announcing that Clint was bleeding to death.
01:02It seemed like all hope was lost.
01:04The red pool was getting bigger, and a severed jugular would usually be fatal in minutes.
01:10But the team's athletic trainer, Jim Pizzatelli, rushed in and attempted to save Clint's life.
01:16And it's a good thing Jim was there, because, as shocking as it might be,
01:20it wasn't the first life-threatening injury that Jim had been confronted with.
01:24Being a former Vietnam combat medic, Jim was no stranger to seeing blood.
01:28And so, keeping a level head, he reached into the wound, he pinched off the bleeding vein,
01:34and he took control of the situation.
01:36Clint started begging Jim to get him off the ice, away from the cameras.
01:40Jim thought it was a strange request, given the gravity of his situation,
01:43but what he didn't realise is that Clint had already resigned himself to dying.
01:48Clint knew that his mother would be watching the game on TV,
01:51and thinking only of her, he desperately didn't want his mother to watch her son die on the ice.
01:57Jim tried to comfort Clint as much as he could, while holding his life in his hands.
02:02And he held Clint together as they rushed off to the hospital.
02:06By the time they got Clint into the emergency room, he had lost a quarter of the blood in his
02:10body.
02:11But when the doctors saw the wound, it wasn't just the jugular they were concerned about.
02:16As they looked closer, they realised that the carotid artery,
02:19which supplies oxygenated blood to the brain,
02:21was only a millimetre away from also being severed,
02:25which, if it had been cut, would have ended Clint's life almost immediately.
02:29The doctors operated, Clint received 300 stitches to close the wound,
02:33and within days, he was out of the hospital, hugging his mother once again.
02:37Everyone thought that Clint's life had been saved,
02:40and he was even back out on the ice four days after the injury.
02:43However, as an x-ray would show years later,
02:46this was just the start of Clint's problems.
02:49Seeing Clint on the ice less than a week later,
02:52and then back in goal during a game only 10 days after the injury,
02:56surprised everyone who had witnessed the horrific moment.
02:59But when speaking to news reporters,
03:01Clint tried to reassure everyone that he was, in fact, okay.
03:05As Clint put it,
03:06when you fall off a horse, you get back on right away,
03:09before your fear can get the better of you.
03:11Ever since he was little,
03:13Clint always wanted to appear strong and capable.
03:16He didn't see himself as someone with much talent,
03:18but he felt he could always push through
03:20and outperform those around him with sheer grit and determination.
03:24He was a perfectionist,
03:25so much so that he'd obsessively overwork himself
03:28to the point of being hospitalized
03:29and having mental and physical breakdowns
03:32as he anguished over his pursuit of perfection.
03:35So Clint's mother wasn't surprised
03:36when she saw her son back in the rink so soon.
03:39He skated back out onto the ice
03:41to a standing ovation from the Buffalo fans,
03:43and he was treated like a hero.
03:45But despite what it seemed on the surface,
03:48Clint's decision to return so quickly
03:49wasn't just about his pursuit of perfection
03:52or in braving his fear of death head on.
03:55In fact, it was partly because
03:57he was succumbing to a different fear.
03:59The fear of losing everything he'd built.
04:02See, around the time of Clint's injury,
04:04his contract with the Sabres was up for renewal.
04:07And he feared that if he didn't return to the ice
04:09and prove to his team
04:10that his near-death experience hadn't weakened him,
04:13he wouldn't get re-signed
04:14and his career would be over.
04:16Clint kept up his tough-guy exterior
04:18for the rest of the season,
04:20and he successfully secured a contract renewal.
04:22But while Clint's physical injuries
04:24seemed to heal quickly,
04:25the psychological trauma
04:27of everything that had happened
04:28only got worse.
04:30As the following season began,
04:32Clint returned to the rink
04:34and gradually, cracks started to appear.
04:37As he stood there on the ice
04:39with the play surging towards him,
04:41in his mind he saw players flip
04:43and blades slice his throat again.
04:45Game after game, play after play,
04:47as the chin strap on his helmet
04:48dragged back and forth
04:50along the scar tissue on his throat,
04:52the flashbacks started overtaking his mind.
04:54After the games, he'd go straight home.
04:56The panic attacks and anxiety
04:58becoming so overbearing
05:00that he couldn't even celebrate the wins.
05:02Even at night, he couldn't get any rest,
05:04as nightmares kept him awake.
05:06And then, one night,
05:07after drinking at a Super Bowl after-party,
05:09he was sitting at home,
05:11reading a bottle of painkillers
05:12that he'd been prescribed
05:13after breaking his thumb.
05:15When he looked at the bottle,
05:16he saw that it said the pills
05:17would cause drowsiness
05:18if mixed with alcohol.
05:20What was supposed to be a warning
05:22to a desperately sleep-deprived Clint,
05:25it felt like a way
05:26to finally get some rest.
05:28So, he took five pills
05:30and went to bed.
05:32When Clint woke up,
05:34he looked around
05:34and the room felt strange,
05:37yet oddly familiar.
05:39He was back in hospital again.
05:41This time,
05:42even closer to death
05:43than he'd been before.
05:45The doctors told Clint
05:46that his heart had stopped
05:47and they asked him
05:49if he'd been trying
05:49to end his own life.
05:51He assured them
05:52that he hadn't
05:52and he opened up
05:53about all the struggles
05:54he'd been having.
05:55And as they dug through
05:56his life experiences
05:57as a child
05:58all the way through
05:59to his hockey career,
06:00they diagnosed him
06:02with a few things.
06:03Anxiety,
06:04depression
06:05and even OCD.
06:07But despite what seems
06:08in retrospect
06:08to be an obvious diagnosis,
06:11Clint wasn't diagnosed
06:12with post-traumatic stress disorder.
06:14Despite this oversight,
06:15Clint started to finally
06:16actually receive
06:17some medical care
06:18and his mental health
06:20started to stabilise.
06:21Clint ended his career
06:22as a player
06:23and he began coaching
06:24local teams,
06:26eventually making his way
06:27back to coaching teams
06:28in the NHL.
06:2920 years passed
06:30since his injury
06:31and so at this point
06:32it seemed like it was
06:33all well and truly
06:34in the past.
06:35The traumatic memory
06:36still flashed
06:37into Clint's mind
06:38on occasion
06:38but for the most part
06:39he was able to live
06:40a relatively normal life.
06:42That was until
06:44February 2008.
06:45Clint was sitting at home
06:47watching the broadcast
06:48of a game
06:49between his old team
06:49the Buffalo Sabres
06:50and a team he used to coach
06:52the Florida Panthers.
06:54The Sabres were up
06:55by one goal
06:56and it was a close match
06:57but as there was
06:58a clash on the ice
06:59and the camera panned
07:00to follow the play,
07:01Clint's hearts
07:02started to pound
07:03as he listened
07:03to the commentator's
07:04frantic words.
07:06Oh my goodness!
07:07Oh my god he's waiting bad!
07:08Richard Stendrick
07:09is cut wide open!
07:10Oh my god!
07:11This is very serious!
07:13Buffalo has seen
07:14something terrible
07:14in past years
07:15fortunately
07:16Clinton Larchuk
07:17is alive and well
07:18to talk about it today.
07:20As Clint watched
07:20with gritted teeth
07:21they replayed
07:22the moment it happened
07:23on the TV
07:24and there he was again
07:26the flashbacks
07:27intensifying
07:28and an intense dread
07:29washing over him.
07:31It felt like hours
07:32until an announcement
07:33finally came
07:34over the PA system.
07:35Richard Stendrick
07:36is in stable condition.
07:38Wow.
07:38Making the announcement
07:39on the PA
07:40that he's in stable condition.
07:41It was a temporary relief.
07:43Richard Stendrick
07:44was treated
07:45at the hospital
07:45and he was okay
07:46but as every media outlet
07:48in the country
07:49suddenly started
07:50calling Clint
07:51to talk about his past
07:52he started reliving
07:53his trauma
07:54all over again.
07:55Through the year
07:56Clint continued to spiral
07:58losing control
07:59of the level-headed self
08:00he'd worked so hard
08:01to cultivate
08:02years earlier
08:03until
08:04in October
08:05while sitting on the back porch
08:06with his wife
08:07Clint's erratic
08:09intrusive thoughts
08:10along with his tendency
08:11to self-medicate
08:12with alcohol
08:13caused him to do something
08:15even he
08:15couldn't have foreseen.
08:17While standing
08:17in front of his wife
08:18Joanie
08:19he turned his rifle around
08:21pointed it
08:22under his own chin
08:24and he pulled the trigger.
08:28Initially
08:29in interviews
08:30Joanie described
08:31the incident
08:31as a hunting accident
08:33but over the years
08:35more details
08:35of the story
08:36started to come out
08:37and it was later revealed
08:38that Clint's last words
08:39before he pulled the trigger
08:41were that he wanted
08:42to turn his head off.
08:44However
08:44miraculously
08:46Clint survived.
08:48Joanie called 911
08:49Clint was rushed
08:50to the hospital
08:51once again
08:52and after operating
08:53the doctor
08:54informed them
08:54that the bullet
08:55had gone
08:55through his chin
08:56splitting his tongue
08:58smashing a tooth
08:59through the roof
09:00of his mouth
09:01and had lodged itself
09:02in his sinus pathway
09:04stopping it
09:05from damaging
09:05his eyes
09:06or his brain.
09:07After this harrowing moment
09:09Clint finally
09:10started seeking out
09:11the help
09:11he desperately needed.
09:12He went into rehab
09:13and he got sober.
09:15He was finally
09:15after 20 years
09:17diagnosed with PTSD
09:18from his injury
09:19in 1989.
09:21Initially
09:21Clint resisted
09:22the PTSD diagnosis
09:24still desperately
09:25holding on
09:25to his tough guy
09:26image of himself
09:27but Joanie
09:28helped him come to terms
09:29with the diagnosis
09:30and he finally
09:31got some professional help.
09:33Clint got better
09:33and now
09:34he's an advocate
09:35for mental health
09:36speaking publicly
09:37about his own battles
09:38with PTSD
09:39and depression
09:40and inspiring others
09:41all over the world
09:42to reach out for help
09:44and not suffer
09:45in silence
09:46like he did.
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