00:00As the puck was put into the center for the St. Louis Blues to score,
00:03there was a violent collision between their forward, Steve Tuttle, and the Sabres' defender,
00:08knocking down the Sabres' goalie, Clint Malachuk, in the process.
00:12The contact itself didn't seem like anything out of the ordinary for an NHL game,
00:16but as Clint collapsed to the ground, clutching at his throat,
00:19it quickly became clear that the collision was far worse than it first appeared.
00:23As Clint lay on the ice, a dark red puddle started to form in front of him,
00:28growing larger with each beat of his heart.
00:30In the chaos of the collision, as Steve Tuttle was flipped onto his back,
00:35his blade had cut open Clint's throat, completely severing his jugular.
00:39The players on both teams screamed for medical assistance.
00:42Seeing the blood spill onto the ice, some fans started fainting in the stands.
00:47Three of the players vomited, and there were even reports of two fans experiencing heart attacks
00:52at the confronting site.
00:53It was total chaos, and it all happened so quickly.
00:57The referee called for a stretcher, announcing that Clint was bleeding to death.
01:02It seemed like all hope was lost.
01:04The red pool was getting bigger, and a severed jugular would usually be fatal in minutes.
01:10But the team's athletic trainer, Jim Pizzatelli, rushed in and attempted to save Clint's life.
01:16And it's a good thing Jim was there, because, as shocking as it might be,
01:20it wasn't the first life-threatening injury that Jim had been confronted with.
01:24Being a former Vietnam combat medic, Jim was no stranger to seeing blood.
01:28And so, keeping a level head, he reached into the wound, he pinched off the bleeding vein,
01:34and he took control of the situation.
01:36Clint started begging Jim to get him off the ice, away from the cameras.
01:40Jim thought it was a strange request, given the gravity of his situation,
01:43but what he didn't realise is that Clint had already resigned himself to dying.
01:48Clint knew that his mother would be watching the game on TV,
01:51and thinking only of her, he desperately didn't want his mother to watch her son die on the ice.
01:57Jim tried to comfort Clint as much as he could, while holding his life in his hands.
02:02And he held Clint together as they rushed off to the hospital.
02:06By the time they got Clint into the emergency room, he had lost a quarter of the blood in his
02:10body.
02:11But when the doctors saw the wound, it wasn't just the jugular they were concerned about.
02:16As they looked closer, they realised that the carotid artery,
02:19which supplies oxygenated blood to the brain,
02:21was only a millimetre away from also being severed,
02:25which, if it had been cut, would have ended Clint's life almost immediately.
02:29The doctors operated, Clint received 300 stitches to close the wound,
02:33and within days, he was out of the hospital, hugging his mother once again.
02:37Everyone thought that Clint's life had been saved,
02:40and he was even back out on the ice four days after the injury.
02:43However, as an x-ray would show years later,
02:46this was just the start of Clint's problems.
02:49Seeing Clint on the ice less than a week later,
02:52and then back in goal during a game only 10 days after the injury,
02:56surprised everyone who had witnessed the horrific moment.
02:59But when speaking to news reporters,
03:01Clint tried to reassure everyone that he was, in fact, okay.
03:05As Clint put it,
03:06when you fall off a horse, you get back on right away,
03:09before your fear can get the better of you.
03:11Ever since he was little,
03:13Clint always wanted to appear strong and capable.
03:16He didn't see himself as someone with much talent,
03:18but he felt he could always push through
03:20and outperform those around him with sheer grit and determination.
03:24He was a perfectionist,
03:25so much so that he'd obsessively overwork himself
03:28to the point of being hospitalized
03:29and having mental and physical breakdowns
03:32as he anguished over his pursuit of perfection.
03:35So Clint's mother wasn't surprised
03:36when she saw her son back in the rink so soon.
03:39He skated back out onto the ice
03:41to a standing ovation from the Buffalo fans,
03:43and he was treated like a hero.
03:45But despite what it seemed on the surface,
03:48Clint's decision to return so quickly
03:49wasn't just about his pursuit of perfection
03:52or in braving his fear of death head on.
03:55In fact, it was partly because
03:57he was succumbing to a different fear.
03:59The fear of losing everything he'd built.
04:02See, around the time of Clint's injury,
04:04his contract with the Sabres was up for renewal.
04:07And he feared that if he didn't return to the ice
04:09and prove to his team
04:10that his near-death experience hadn't weakened him,
04:13he wouldn't get re-signed
04:14and his career would be over.
04:16Clint kept up his tough-guy exterior
04:18for the rest of the season,
04:20and he successfully secured a contract renewal.
04:22But while Clint's physical injuries
04:24seemed to heal quickly,
04:25the psychological trauma
04:27of everything that had happened
04:28only got worse.
04:30As the following season began,
04:32Clint returned to the rink
04:34and gradually, cracks started to appear.
04:37As he stood there on the ice
04:39with the play surging towards him,
04:41in his mind he saw players flip
04:43and blades slice his throat again.
04:45Game after game, play after play,
04:47as the chin strap on his helmet
04:48dragged back and forth
04:50along the scar tissue on his throat,
04:52the flashbacks started overtaking his mind.
04:54After the games, he'd go straight home.
04:56The panic attacks and anxiety
04:58becoming so overbearing
05:00that he couldn't even celebrate the wins.
05:02Even at night, he couldn't get any rest,
05:04as nightmares kept him awake.
05:06And then, one night,
05:07after drinking at a Super Bowl after-party,
05:09he was sitting at home,
05:11reading a bottle of painkillers
05:12that he'd been prescribed
05:13after breaking his thumb.
05:15When he looked at the bottle,
05:16he saw that it said the pills
05:17would cause drowsiness
05:18if mixed with alcohol.
05:20What was supposed to be a warning
05:22to a desperately sleep-deprived Clint,
05:25it felt like a way
05:26to finally get some rest.
05:28So, he took five pills
05:30and went to bed.
05:32When Clint woke up,
05:34he looked around
05:34and the room felt strange,
05:37yet oddly familiar.
05:39He was back in hospital again.
05:41This time,
05:42even closer to death
05:43than he'd been before.
05:45The doctors told Clint
05:46that his heart had stopped
05:47and they asked him
05:49if he'd been trying
05:49to end his own life.
05:51He assured them
05:52that he hadn't
05:52and he opened up
05:53about all the struggles
05:54he'd been having.
05:55And as they dug through
05:56his life experiences
05:57as a child
05:58all the way through
05:59to his hockey career,
06:00they diagnosed him
06:02with a few things.
06:03Anxiety,
06:04depression
06:05and even OCD.
06:07But despite what seems
06:08in retrospect
06:08to be an obvious diagnosis,
06:11Clint wasn't diagnosed
06:12with post-traumatic stress disorder.
06:14Despite this oversight,
06:15Clint started to finally
06:16actually receive
06:17some medical care
06:18and his mental health
06:20started to stabilise.
06:21Clint ended his career
06:22as a player
06:23and he began coaching
06:24local teams,
06:26eventually making his way
06:27back to coaching teams
06:28in the NHL.
06:2920 years passed
06:30since his injury
06:31and so at this point
06:32it seemed like it was
06:33all well and truly
06:34in the past.
06:35The traumatic memory
06:36still flashed
06:37into Clint's mind
06:38on occasion
06:38but for the most part
06:39he was able to live
06:40a relatively normal life.
06:42That was until
06:44February 2008.
06:45Clint was sitting at home
06:47watching the broadcast
06:48of a game
06:49between his old team
06:49the Buffalo Sabres
06:50and a team he used to coach
06:52the Florida Panthers.
06:54The Sabres were up
06:55by one goal
06:56and it was a close match
06:57but as there was
06:58a clash on the ice
06:59and the camera panned
07:00to follow the play,
07:01Clint's hearts
07:02started to pound
07:03as he listened
07:03to the commentator's
07:04frantic words.
07:06Oh my goodness!
07:07Oh my god he's waiting bad!
07:08Richard Stendrick
07:09is cut wide open!
07:10Oh my god!
07:11This is very serious!
07:13Buffalo has seen
07:14something terrible
07:14in past years
07:15fortunately
07:16Clinton Larchuk
07:17is alive and well
07:18to talk about it today.
07:20As Clint watched
07:20with gritted teeth
07:21they replayed
07:22the moment it happened
07:23on the TV
07:24and there he was again
07:26the flashbacks
07:27intensifying
07:28and an intense dread
07:29washing over him.
07:31It felt like hours
07:32until an announcement
07:33finally came
07:34over the PA system.
07:35Richard Stendrick
07:36is in stable condition.
07:38Wow.
07:38Making the announcement
07:39on the PA
07:40that he's in stable condition.
07:41It was a temporary relief.
07:43Richard Stendrick
07:44was treated
07:45at the hospital
07:45and he was okay
07:46but as every media outlet
07:48in the country
07:49suddenly started
07:50calling Clint
07:51to talk about his past
07:52he started reliving
07:53his trauma
07:54all over again.
07:55Through the year
07:56Clint continued to spiral
07:58losing control
07:59of the level-headed self
08:00he'd worked so hard
08:01to cultivate
08:02years earlier
08:03until
08:04in October
08:05while sitting on the back porch
08:06with his wife
08:07Clint's erratic
08:09intrusive thoughts
08:10along with his tendency
08:11to self-medicate
08:12with alcohol
08:13caused him to do something
08:15even he
08:15couldn't have foreseen.
08:17While standing
08:17in front of his wife
08:18Joanie
08:19he turned his rifle around
08:21pointed it
08:22under his own chin
08:24and he pulled the trigger.
08:28Initially
08:29in interviews
08:30Joanie described
08:31the incident
08:31as a hunting accident
08:33but over the years
08:35more details
08:35of the story
08:36started to come out
08:37and it was later revealed
08:38that Clint's last words
08:39before he pulled the trigger
08:41were that he wanted
08:42to turn his head off.
08:44However
08:44miraculously
08:46Clint survived.
08:48Joanie called 911
08:49Clint was rushed
08:50to the hospital
08:51once again
08:52and after operating
08:53the doctor
08:54informed them
08:54that the bullet
08:55had gone
08:55through his chin
08:56splitting his tongue
08:58smashing a tooth
08:59through the roof
09:00of his mouth
09:01and had lodged itself
09:02in his sinus pathway
09:04stopping it
09:05from damaging
09:05his eyes
09:06or his brain.
09:07After this harrowing moment
09:09Clint finally
09:10started seeking out
09:11the help
09:11he desperately needed.
09:12He went into rehab
09:13and he got sober.
09:15He was finally
09:15after 20 years
09:17diagnosed with PTSD
09:18from his injury
09:19in 1989.
09:21Initially
09:21Clint resisted
09:22the PTSD diagnosis
09:24still desperately
09:25holding on
09:25to his tough guy
09:26image of himself
09:27but Joanie
09:28helped him come to terms
09:29with the diagnosis
09:30and he finally
09:31got some professional help.
09:33Clint got better
09:33and now
09:34he's an advocate
09:35for mental health
09:36speaking publicly
09:37about his own battles
09:38with PTSD
09:39and depression
09:40and inspiring others
09:41all over the world
09:42to reach out for help
09:44and not suffer
09:45in silence
09:46like he did.
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