- 3 months ago
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🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00What's going on? What's going on, Zyna Stace?
00:01You see, everyone wanted to hear more of the Carnivorous Carnival.
00:03Yeah, they said that wasn't enough.
00:04So, anyway, yeah, Lortz said just read more, I don't ask.
00:12The car lurched to the left, and the bottle layers lurched with it,
00:15rolling to the left-hand side of the trunk,
00:17along with the many items Olaf kept in his car to help with his dastardly plots.
00:24Violet tried not to cough as one of his fake beards tickled her throat.
00:28Kloss held his hand up to his face so that a sliding toolbox wouldn't break his glasses.
00:33And Sunny shut her mouth tightly so she wouldn't get one of Olaf's dirty undershirts tangled in her sharp teeth.
00:40Rarely ridden road was even bumpier than the highway they had been traveling on,
00:45and the car made so much noise that the children could not hear any more of the conversation
00:49until Olaf pulled the automobile to a creaky stop.
00:53Are we there yet? the hook-handed man asked.
00:55Of course we're here, you fool, Olaf said.
00:58Look, there's a sign. Caligari Carnival.
01:01Where is Madame Lulu? asked the bald man.
01:04Where do you think? Esme asked, and everyone laughed.
01:07They said really don't read woman like that every time.
01:09Where do you think?
01:11Where do you think? Esme asked, and everyone laughed.
01:14The doors of the automobile opened with a scraping sound,
01:17and the car lurched again as everyone piled out.
01:20Should I get the wine out of the trunk, boss? the bald man asked.
01:23The bottle layers froze.
01:34The bottle layers froze.
01:35No, Count Olaf replied.
01:37Madame Lulu will have plenty of refreshments for us.
01:39The three children lay very still and listened as Olaf and his troop trudged away from the car.
01:45Their footsteps grew fainter and fainter until the siblings could hear nothing
01:48but the evening breeze as it whistled through the bullet holes,
01:52and at last it seemed safe for the bottle layer orphans to speak to one another.
01:56To one another.
01:57What are we going to do? Violet whispered.
02:00What are we going to do? Violet whispered, pushing the beard away from her.
02:05Mariel, Sonny said.
02:06Like many people her age, the youngest bottle layers sometimes used language
02:10that was difficult for some people to understand.
02:13But her siblings knew at once that she meant something like,
02:16We'd better get out of this trunk.
02:18As soon as possible, Klaus agreed.
02:20We don't know how soon Olaf and his troop will return.
02:23Violet, do you think you can invent something to get us out of here?
02:26It shouldn't be too hard, Violet said.
02:28With all this stuff in the trunk,
02:30It shouldn't be too hard, Violet said, with all this stuff in the trunk.
02:33She reached out her hand and felt around
02:36until she found the mechanism that was keeping the trunk closed.
02:39I've studied this kind of latch before, she said.
02:43All I need to move it.
02:44She said, you really need to click your mouth like that.
02:46I didn't mean to.
02:46I've studied this kind of latch before, she said.
02:49All I need to move it is a loop of strong twine.
02:51Feel around and see if we can find something.
02:56I did open.
02:57Yeah, I broke into my car one time.
02:59Made me think of Violet.
03:05I found a snowplow pole and I managed to wedge the door open enough
03:09to dangle some dental floss into the car that had a slipknot on it
03:17and get it around the, it was like a small black, there's a small black lock.
03:26It was like, yeah, on the jet, it was a small black lock that sticks up
03:28and I got it around that and I, and I cinched it, cinched it tight.
03:32Yeah, around there and I pulled up on it and I unlocked the car door.
03:34Yeah, it was pretty cool.
03:35Violet would have liked it.
03:37The Lord said she didn't, don't ask.
03:39All I need to move it is a loop of strong twine.
03:42Feel around and see if we can find something.
03:45Feel around and see if we can find something.
03:47All I need to move it is a loop of strong twine.
03:49Feel around and see if we can find something.
03:51The Lord said Germany hated it that I broke into a Jetta like that.
03:56Love came, Josh, if you ever fucked Germany that hard.
03:59There's something wrapped around my left arm, Klaus said, squirming around.
04:02It feels like it might be part of the turban Olaf wore when he disguised himself as Coach Genghis.
04:07That's too thick, Violet said.
04:08It needs to slip between two parts of the lock.
04:11Semjah, Sonny said.
04:13That's my shoelace, Sonny, Klaus said.
04:15We'll save that as a last resort, Violet said.
04:18We can't have you tripping all over the place if we're going to escape.
04:21Wait, I think I found something underneath the spare tire.
04:23What is it?
04:24I don't know, Violet said.
04:26It looks like a skinny cord with something round and flat at the end.
04:30I bet it's a monocle, Klaus said.
04:32You know, that funny eyepiece Olaf wore when he was pretending to be Gunther, the auctioneer.
04:37I don't remember what book that was in.
04:39Gone through the auctioneer.
04:45It was in like the sixth book, I think.
04:47Yeah, it was.
04:48No, nice.
04:52I think you're right, Violet said.
04:54Well, this monocle helped Olaf with his scheme, and now it's going to help us with ours.
04:59Sonny, try to move over a bit so I can see if this will work.
05:02Sonny squirmed over as far as she could, and Violet reached around her siblings and
05:05slipped the cord of Olaf's monocle around the lock of the trunk.
05:09The three children listened as Violet wiggled her invention around the latch, and after only
05:13a few seconds, they heard a quiet click, and the door of the trunk swung open with a long,
05:19slow creak.
05:21As the cool air rushed in, the Baudelaire stayed absolutely still in case the noise of the
05:26trunk caught Olaf's attention.
05:27But apparently, he and his assistants were too far away to hear, because after a few
05:33seconds, the children could hear nothing but the chirping of the evening crickets and
05:37the faint barking of a dog.
05:39The Baudelaire's looked at one another, squinting in the dim light, and without another word,
05:43they said they saw Andy Kaufman's love.
05:45Yeah, Andy Kaufman went on stage one time when he was supposed to perform, and he just read
05:48a book until everyone left.
05:51He said if it was this book, they probably wouldn't have left and don't ask.
05:53It's too funny.
06:08Yeah, it's funny to think, it's interesting to think about writers, how they come up with
06:10this stuff, yeah.
06:15Because you have to come up with a situation, okay, they're in the trunk of the car, what's
06:18going to happen now?
06:18They have to get out, so you have to imagine a locking mechanism, imagine all the different
06:22things that were in the story, yeah, it's hard to write something like that, it's pretty
06:27cool, man.
06:32The Baudelaire's looked at one another, squinting in the dim light, and without another word,
06:37Violet and Klaus climbed out of the trunk, and then lifted their sister out into the
06:41night.
06:41The famous hinterland sunset was just ending, and everything the children saw was bathed
06:46in dark blue, as if Count Olaf had driven them into the depths of the ocean.
06:50There was a large wooden sign with the words, Caligari Carnival, printed in old-fashioned
06:55script, along with a faded painting of a lion chasing a frightened little boy.
07:00Behind the sign was a small booth advertising tickets for sale, and a phone booth that gleamed
07:05in the blue light.
07:07Behind these two booths was an enormous roller coaster, a phrase which here means a series
07:11of small carts where people can sit and race up and down steep and frightening hills
07:15of tracks for no discernible reason, but it was clear, even in the fading light, that
07:20the roller coaster had not been used for quite some time, because the tracks and carts were
07:25overgrown with ivy and other winding plants, which made the carnival attraction look as if
07:30it were about to sink into the earth.
07:32Past the roller coaster was a row of enormous tents, shivering in the evening breeze like jellyfish,
07:37and alongside each tent was a caravan, which is a wheeled carriage used as a home by people
07:42who travel frequently, yeah.
07:44They said Jim Carrey and Neil Patrick Harris stood corrected, because my qualms with their
07:49portrayals of Count Olaf, which were very funny and entertaining, were that, you know,
07:54kids, you know, the world is a dangerous place for Jewish kids, for kids, specifically Jewish
07:58kids, and evil people who, their schemes are ridiculous, but they're not always cartoonish.
08:08I just think they should have been a little more subtle, so that people say, yeah, these people
08:11aren't always that, they're usually not obvious like that, even though, even though being
08:15evil towards children, you'll always end up looking ridiculous, maybe that's the point,
08:20yeah, I should just let it go.
08:20I'm sorry.
08:21Maybe just let it back down, Josh.
08:23Okay.