00:01Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for coming to the show tonight.
00:05I'm Matt and this is Jay and we are Nirvana the Band and we're going to put on a hell
00:09of a show.
00:10Actually, you can't say that because if you say it's going to be a great show,
00:13then right away every hipster in the audience is like, uh-huh, that's true.
00:17Don't say it's going to be a good show.
00:19It's going to be a bad show.
00:20It's going to be a bad show, right?
00:22Ladies and gentlemen, I got news for you.
00:25This show is going to be a bit of a piece of shit.
00:29We were trying to figure out how we could get a show at the Rivoli, like we always do.
00:32Why does a club book a man?
00:34Because they play good music?
00:34No.
00:35We get Now Magazine to print us in the concert listings and we're like, okay, we're playing a show.
00:40We are putting a float in the Santa Claus braids.
00:43Hack onto the band list.
00:45Wrong password.
00:46The plan is just get a movie into a big film festival and then we get a show at the
00:50Rivoli.
00:50We agree.
00:51I have the face.
00:51You have the body.
00:52Are we going to risk this kid's life for the chance to play the Rivoli?
00:55Yeah.
00:56The Rivoli's on Queen Street.
00:58I know about the Rivoli.
00:59What the f*** is underneath it, man?
01:02Sneak in.
01:02Go underneath.
01:03Go underneath.
01:03Get the band list.
01:07We just, a two.
01:08Go.
01:08Every week we got a new plan.
01:10Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:10And then we're back when we started.
01:12But that's because the plan doesn't work and we go to a new one.
01:15I'm trying to find some speed so I can fool my friend into winning a GoldenEye tournament.
01:20There's like 30 people deep here.
01:21I can't clear them right now.
01:22Okay, well I don't even know why I'm asking permission.
01:23I could just run these people down.
01:25This map, we need a copy of it.
01:26Do you not have a phone?
01:27Uh, just use your phone.
01:30Holy s***.
01:31Okay.
01:34All right, let's go.
01:35Don't move.
01:35We gotta go!
01:37We're fine!
01:51We just want Nirvana the band to play a show at the Rivoli.
01:58We didn't do anything wrong, right?
02:01Oh, dude, I touched the gun.
02:02Is that the worst?
02:03You never do.
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