00:13so nice of you to crash your listening party well thank you I'm just so happy to see you all
00:19thank you for being here and for taking the time out of your Wednesday Wednesday I know I'm like
00:25they they skipped work skip school all the things for you I'm pro that thank you for being here and
00:31for listening you guys it means a lot good to see you good to see you is it okay if
00:35we uh chat a
00:35little bit talk about the album yes at the Hard Rock Hotel New York so uh the the title we
00:41were
00:41talking about the title and it can be misleading uh you know when you don't know the context at
00:46first so what did your mother do when she found out the title of the album well she heard the
00:52song
00:53and she did cry which was great because that made me feel like I won she heard the song before
00:57she
00:58knew like she heard the song before she knew yeah I told her I'd written that song and that I
01:02thought
01:03it would be the title on the day but yes I do feel that's how I was I was I
01:07was I was brutal I think
01:10growing up but she forgave me by some miracle so I love that where did you play it for and
01:18like tell
01:19me everything um I made that song in London and then I played it for her like on the phone
01:24through FaceTime like through computers and the guitar as you've now heard is like super distorted
01:29and kind of like heavy anyway so imagine through like two devices and to your mom who's like I can't
01:37hear it like turn it off I was like okay um and then I sent it to her the version
01:42that was tolerable
01:44and um and she did cry so that was good I love that outside of that song does she have
01:48a another
01:49favorite on the album broke my heart is her favorite okay which is always makes me laugh
01:54for some reason yeah she likes that one so much but yeah she that's she's always wondering if anyone's
02:01heard that and likes it I'm like I'll let you know did you did you like it can I I'm
02:06like can I
02:07finally tell my mom that somebody likes us validate her um what's something your mom like a big
02:14sacrifice she did for you when you were younger when you were a kid that you didn't fully appreciate
02:20or understand at that time but now you're like oh wow she loves me I mean like I've ever it's
02:27everything it's like time time is like I cannot yeah I think parents are miracle workers um if you're
02:37lucky enough to get to look up to them really like she just was such a dedicated person I think
02:43when I think about like our friction growing up um I'm now very grateful for it because I learned
02:51how to deal with conflict because of my mom um she was not avoidant she's the least avoidant she's
02:58very like the only way out is through and would like have really difficult like endless conversations
03:07with me and my brothers um in order to get to the other side of something and uh I feel
03:12like in my
03:13adulthood my new adulthood I feel like I'm like trying to emulate that because it's I don't know
03:20clarity is kindness and I think um it's really a useful skill to be able to yeah deal with something
03:29head-on so I feel like I learned about how to deal with conflict from her and also how to
03:34be soft
03:35and it sounds like you felt comfortable enough to always be vocal about whatever you had going on
03:40in in your life with her eventually okay okay eventually so when you were at your most defiant
03:48as a child yes can you remember like I don't know some rebellious act you did to maybe stick it
03:56to your
03:56parents yeah but I'll keep them to myself yeah we all I think like I don't think I'm you know
04:05some
04:05special case necessarily I do feel like we all know it's like not always easy to grow up it just
04:15like
04:15there are so many learning curves and um I don't know I I I feel for everyone going through it
04:25and for
04:25parents and for siblings and it's like you think that the dynamics are fixed when you're younger
04:31and that there's no growing out of them but it's a beautiful thing to be able to earn the relationships
04:38that you have with your people and like um sticking with each other is like such a it's such a
04:44privilege
04:44if you get to do that so um I definitely was tough as nails for them to handle sometimes I
04:52think and so
04:53I regret that and I like will do everything in my power to make their lives easier now um but
05:00yeah
05:00I will not disclose specifics okay okay so during during that during that phase can you recall like
05:08what music genre artists you were gravitating towards that you felt like you connected with
05:14during that yeah well the national was a band that I was obsessed with because there was like
05:20felt like the um stories that they were telling through their writing were they were like so
05:27specific the details are so specific but it felt like the feeling was so universal and I was way too
05:33young I was like 12 13 14 like couldn't have possibly lived through what you know Matt Berenger is
05:41speaking about but this the quality it was like melancholy and like blue and gorgeous and I used to
05:49listen at school and headphones on my iPod like under my hood uh to their music all the time and
05:56it's
05:56crazy because Aaron Dessner that's his band and it's just a funny full circle like gorgeous cosmic
06:03thing where he for those of you who don't know Aaron but I'm sure you all know Aaron Dessner genius
06:09genius genius producer uh songwriter of the national but like of your favorite albums pretty much he's just
06:17so good is there a song on the album where if we heard it at its beginning we wouldn't even
06:22recognize it like it just completely morphed by the end product that's a good question not really to be
06:30honest with you like trying to think everything was pretty like core to what it is there are songs
06:41that are not on this uh how do I say oh I feel like you're about to spill there are
06:48like other songs
06:50okay that feel connected to the world of this album that have gone through more journeys than any on
06:56this version so for the deluxe version you're saying right basically basically basically was there
07:05was there was there a lyric you were holding on to for a very long time a line that you
07:09knew was
07:09special and you finally got a chance to like work it into a song good reason I wrote like three
07:15years
07:15ago um and I didn't know if that song would always make it anywhere but um I love the line
07:22if only I
07:23chose you and not me was always one of my favorites in that song and I knew I wanted to
07:27keep that for
07:27something I'm really glad the song persevered yeah yeah and uh is on this this record because it
07:35belongs in my mind but yeah that lyric I was always very excited by I love it uh tell me
07:40about the the
07:41track list the order was like hit the wall always number one daughter from hell number four or what
07:45what was the process in that um when when I wrote hit the wall I knew I wanted it to
07:51be the first single
07:51and I knew I wanted it to start the record because it felt like a felt like the correct introduction
07:56like sonically there's um lots of organic elements like Aaron had sampled himself playing piano and
08:03then put it through a sequencer and made this beautiful loop that was the bed of the song
08:07and then there's more electronic elements in it that felt like those two worlds married beautifully and I
08:14feel like you know set up the album in a nice way and then thematically also felt like a good
08:21introduction because that's where I was coming from mentally and um and yes I'm blanking on your
08:30just oh sequence I'm so sorry yeah sequence was um that's like kind of one of the most exciting parts
08:37of the process because you get to like sort of turn off the like writer part of your brain and
08:43get to
08:43just the fun part yeah kind of soak up like volume at 100 like sit on the couch and be
08:50like what feels
08:51right this is the ride we're like yeah yeah yeah yeah so I don't know how loud it was for
08:57you all
08:57when you were listening we yeah was it like choose your own adventure kind of okay did you choose a
09:04loud
09:05adventure yeah yeah oh my god I love this so good and the knife I mean everybody loved the whole
09:09album it
09:10was really wonderful um before we wrap and again thank you for being here uh when do you feel
09:15closest with your fans and how do you think that relationship has like changed uh from the last album
09:23to this one oh my god when do I feel closest like moments like this to be honest like being
09:31at shows
09:32I mean like we're quite literally so close um but being at shows to me is sort of like I
09:38think
09:39the internet is such a strange place and um I struggle to make sense of like numbers in that way
09:53or like
09:53like when people try to you know present um like streams of songs I'm like that doesn't make me feel
10:00what makes me feel closest with you all is like when we're in the same room or singing together and
10:08there's like some energetic exchange that just happens where it really like the music takes on
10:17a completely new life and it's about you all individually and not about me and I get to like
10:24watch such a gorgeous group of people like process shit in real time and do it among others which I
10:33think it's just like we don't have very many environments these days where we're like in
10:38community and like singing like do you know what I mean I feel like sports and music and theater I
10:46suppose are like those are the places where we bring these things out of one another so I feel closest
10:52to
10:53you then and I do feel like I don't know I like part of me sometimes I feel bad that
10:57like at this
10:58stage in my life I spend less time on the internet because I feel healthier when I spend less time
11:04on it but that used to be like primary connector I feel like for many of us and I just
11:10trust that
11:11we're all like knowing that it's an insane place to spend our time and that like being in person together
11:16as much as possible is the preference so like but I know it takes so much effort to
11:23make time and come be here or at a show or whatever so I just like you should know how
11:30like that is not lost on us at all our band and crew are always talking about how absolutely insane
11:37it
11:37is to all of us that you know one person even it's like yes I'm going to drive my car
11:43here I'm gonna like
11:44book this train or take off work or whatever the thing is it's like we always just want you all
11:50to
11:50leave feeling like full in the way that you make us feel so thank you very much
11:58we're good to go and speaking about uh making time again thank you all for being here today
12:04thank you for stopping by Gracie uh of course uh we're gonna take a little photo I think
12:12all right
12:13thank you
12:14thank you guys
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