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Will Anatole Return to Brinkley Court? (or, the Matchmaker)
Bertie is offended because Jeeves was dispatched to convince Anatole to return to Brinkley Court, so he continues to attempt to reunite Tuppy and Angela and bring Gussie and Madeline together; consequently, Gussie and Angela wind up engaged, and Madeline expects Bertie himself to marry her.
Starring:
Hugh Laurie
Stephen Fry
Will Anatole Return to Brinkley Court? (or, the Matchmaker)
Bertie is offended because Jeeves was dispatched to convince Anatole to return to Brinkley Court, so he continues to attempt to reunite Tuppy and Angela and bring Gussie and Madeline together; consequently, Gussie and Angela wind up engaged, and Madeline expects Bertie himself to marry her.
Starring:
Hugh Laurie
Stephen Fry
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:18To be continued...
00:49To be continued...
01:27To be continued...
01:37To be continued...
01:48To be continued...
01:59To be continued...
02:33To be continued...
03:03To be continued...
03:10Oh, I see!
03:11Jolly good.
03:13Why?
03:14Ah, well, I do want my Aunt Delia to know that I'm here.
03:16I had a bit of a set two down at her place.
03:23No, no, no, don't answer it.
03:25I wasn't going to.
03:25No, you see, you should be regretting it now.
03:27You should be begging me to come back and sort things out.
03:32No, answer it.
03:33Pretend it be Jeeves.
03:34How?
03:35Oh, I'll just sort of say your Jeeves.
03:38Oh, I'll just sort of say your Jeeves.
03:45Mr. Worcester's residence?
03:48Where is Mr. Worcester?
03:51He's not at home, sir?
03:52He's not at home, sir.
03:53I'm Jeeves.
03:55What do you mean, you think not?
04:00Oh.
04:03Who was it?
04:05Jeeves.
04:07Oh.
04:08Where was he?
04:10Just round the corner.
04:12Ah, sent as an emissary, no doubt.
04:13Well, no, I'm sorry, but one can only do so much.
04:16What's an emissary?
04:18It's something that's sent.
04:19So what are you doing here, Barmy, anyway?
04:21Nothing, really.
04:22Just came in for a smoke.
04:23Hope you don't mind.
04:25No, smoke away, Barmy.
04:26Smoke away.
04:36Get out of here.
04:52Barmy, when you said you'd come in for a smoke?
04:54I can't smoke at the drones at the moment.
04:57It's Oofy Prossy, you see.
04:58We've got to bet on how long we can go without smoking.
05:02My doctor says it's better for me anyway.
05:06Good morning, Mr. Fungy Phipps.
05:08Morning, Jeeves.
05:09Mr. Worcester?
05:11Morning, Jeeves.
05:12I'm just making some tea.
05:14Really, sir?
05:15Perhaps I could be...
05:16No, no, no, no, I may as well do it now that I've started.
05:18I've got quite used to looking after myself.
05:20It's surprising, is it not, sir, how much one can assimilate in a day?
05:24Now, Jeeves, it says here it's best to use soft water,
05:27but that after boiling it may again become hard.
05:30I mean, that's ice, isn't it?
05:32And now, it says here that one, yes, that's right,
05:35one teaspoonful per person and one for the pot.
05:37Well, I mean, what does the pot get one?
05:39If you'd allow me, sir.
05:46Cup of tea, Balmy?
05:47Love one.
05:54All right, Jeeves, get on with it.
05:56So?
05:56It is obvious, to the meanest intelligence, Jeeves,
05:59that you've been dispatched here by my esteemed Aunt Dahlia
06:02to plead with me to come back to Brinkley.
06:05The same old emotional quagmire down there, I suppose, yes.
06:08Tuppy grinding his teeth,
06:10Angela aloof,
06:12Uncle Tom off his feed,
06:13Madeline off her head,
06:15and Fink-not-all trembling at the thought of this prize-giving.
06:17Well, I'm sorry, Jeeves,
06:18but Mrs. Travers will just have to sort this whole thing out herself.
06:21Very good, sir.
06:22I was, in fact, sent to try to persuade
06:24Monsieur Anatole to return, sir.
06:27Anatole Cook, Jeeves?
06:28Yes, sir.
06:31Well,
06:32not to persuade me back to Brinkley
06:34to restore peace and harmony to the inhabitants?
06:36Mrs. Travers made no mention of it, sir.
06:40Well, of all the nerve, Jeeves,
06:43and this is what they call gratitude, is it?
06:45I really couldn't say, sir.
06:47Well, I don't think I'm going too far, Jeeves,
06:49when I say that this just about takes the giddy biscuit.
06:53Very good, sir.
06:54Well, I shall return to Brinkley Instanto, Jeeves,
06:56and give the whole bunch of them a good talking to,
06:58starting with that idiot Tuppy.
07:03If you want to try the Turkish, they're in the silver box.
07:06Oh, right-ho, Bersie.
07:08Toodle-pip.
07:08Cheerio.
07:14Ah!
07:15Ah!
07:17You're not going out, are you?
07:18Well, I am, Wolfie.
07:19How can I help you?
07:20Well,
07:21I wanted to have a smoke.
07:23Ah, say no more, Wolfie.
07:25My house is your house.
07:27I've got this bet on with barmings.
07:29No, no need to explain, Wolfie.
07:31If you want to try the Turkish,
07:32they're in the silver box.
07:38Ah!
07:55Am I not somebody, Mr. Jeeves?
07:57Undoubtedly, Mr. Anatole.
07:59Then why they are making against me like bad peoples, hmm?
08:03Delicious, Voloutier, Fleur de Courgette.
08:05Mr. Anatole himself taught me to make it
08:08when he first stayed at our little hotel.
08:11Ah, but madame has got the good of me many times over.
08:15A little more, perhaps, for Mr. Jeeves.
08:20We have a duty to look after our ladies and gentlemen,
08:23Mr. Anatole.
08:24Look after?
08:26Am I the nursey?
08:27Am I the Nancy for the kiddies?
08:30No.
08:30This is not kiddies.
08:32No, no, no, no, no.
08:33Kiddies is nice.
08:34Kiddies is not stopping with the eats.
08:37Kiddies is not saying to us,
08:38chap,
08:39poof,
08:40we not like you no more.
08:41We not eat your combustibles.
08:43Since time immemorial,
08:46Monsieur Anatole,
08:47it has fallen to the Gallic races
08:49to bring civilisation
08:50to the rude northerly provinces of their empire.
08:53Oh, it's true.
08:55Anatole is civilian.
08:57Anatole is nice.
08:59It hasn't always been easy.
09:01Sometimes it has seemed impossible.
09:04But...
09:07Up to the time she went to Cannes,
09:09Angela loved me.
09:10You'll admit that.
09:11Oh, indisputably.
09:12But when she came back,
09:13she was just looking for an excuse
09:14to get rid of me.
09:17No, no, no, no.
09:18What would you want to get rid of you for?
09:20Well, obviously,
09:21during those two months,
09:22she's transferred her affections
09:23to some foul blister she's met out there.
09:26No, no, no, no.
09:28Well,
09:29I'll tell you one thing,
09:31and you can take this as official.
09:33If ever I find this slimy snake in the grass,
09:36I propose to take him by his beastly neck,
09:38shake him till he froths,
09:39and then pull him inside out
09:41and make him swallow himself.
09:43All right?
09:44My dear Tuppy,
09:46during those two months on the Riviera,
09:48it so happens
09:49that Angela and I
09:50were practically inseparable.
09:54If there had been somebody nosing around,
09:56I should have spotted it in a second.
09:58I see.
10:01So...
10:03no mixed bathing
10:04and moonlight strolls?
10:05No, no, no, no.
10:07Well, only with me.
10:08It was quite a joke at the hotel.
10:10But then I've always been devoted to Angela.
10:12Really?
10:13Oh, yes, yes.
10:14When we were kids,
10:15she used to call me
10:16her little sweetheart.
10:27Ah, you're back.
10:31You're back.
10:33Welcome.
10:34Welcome, Monsieur Anatole.
10:36We have no more stopping with eating,
10:38I think.
10:40I get my bagage.
10:43Jeeves!
10:44I can never thank you sufficiently.
10:46Never.
10:47You've saved my husband's digestion.
10:50What I want, Dahlia?
10:52I didn't know that your master was back, Jeeves.
10:56Has he no mercy?
11:03Jeeves.
11:04Suppose that you were
11:05strolling through the illimitable jungle
11:08and you happened to meet
11:10a tiger cub.
11:11The contingency is a remote one, sir.
11:14Never mind.
11:15Let us suppose it.
11:16Very good, sir.
11:16Let us now suppose
11:17that you biffed that tiger cub
11:20and let us further suppose
11:21that word reached its mother
11:23that you've done so.
11:24Now, what would you expect
11:26the attitude of that mother to be?
11:27In the circumstances,
11:28I should anticipate
11:29a certain show of disapprobation, sir.
11:32Yes, very good, Jeeves.
11:33Very well put.
11:35Now, let us suppose
11:36that recently there'd been
11:38some little coolness
11:39between the tiger cub
11:41and the tigress.
11:42Well, I don't know.
11:42For a day or two,
11:43perhaps they'd not been
11:44on speaking terms.
11:46Now, do you think
11:46this would make any difference
11:47to the vim
11:48with which the latter
11:49would leap to the former's aid?
11:51No, sir.
11:51No?
11:52Ah.
11:52Well, here then,
11:53in brief, is my plan.
11:55I will draw my cousin Angela
11:57to one side
11:58to a secluded spot
11:59and I shall roast Tuppy properly.
12:01Er, roast, sir?
12:03Er, um, disparage,
12:05knock, er, decry,
12:06denounce I shall be very terse
12:08about Tuppy,
12:08giving it as my opinion
12:10that in all the essentials
12:11he is more akin to
12:14a warthog
12:15than an ex-member
12:17of a fine old school.
12:18And what will ensue?
12:20What indeed, sir?
12:22Er, no, Jeeves,
12:23no, that was one of those, um,
12:25what's-it questions.
12:26Rhetorical, sir?
12:27Right, yes.
12:28Now, hearing him attacked,
12:29my cousin Angela's heart
12:31will become as sick as mud.
12:33The maternal tigress
12:34in her will awaken.
12:35And no matter what differences
12:36they may have had,
12:37she will remember only
12:38that he is the man she loves
12:39and she will leap to his defence.
12:41And from there
12:42to falling into his arms
12:43is but a step.
12:45So, how do you react
12:46to that, Jeeves?
12:46The idea is an ingenious one, sir.
12:49Well, we Worcesters
12:50are ingenious,
12:50noted for it.
12:52And if one thing
12:52gives us the pip,
12:53it's the sight
12:54of two loving hearts
12:55being estranged.
12:56I can readily appreciate it, sir.
12:58Now, I'm not speaking
12:58without knowledge
12:59of the form book,
13:00you know, on this one.
13:01I've tested this theory.
13:02Indeed, sir.
13:03Mm, oh, yes.
13:04And it works.
13:06I was standing
13:07on Eden Rock
13:09in Antibes last month
13:10and a girl,
13:11I know slightly,
13:12pointed to this fellow
13:13diving into the water
13:14and asked me
13:15if I didn't think
13:16that his legs
13:17were about the silliest
13:18looking pair of props
13:20ever issued
13:20to a human being.
13:21Well, I agreed
13:22that indeed they were
13:23and for perhaps
13:25a couple of minutes
13:26I was extraordinarily
13:29witty and satirical
13:30about this bird's
13:31underpinnings.
13:32And guess what happened next?
13:35I am a gog to learn, sir.
13:37A cyclone
13:38is what happened next,
13:40Jeeps,
13:40emanating from this girl.
13:42She started on my own legs,
13:44saying that they weren't much
13:45to write home about,
13:46and then she moved on
13:47to dissect my
13:48manners,
13:49morals,
13:50intellect,
13:50general physique,
13:52and method of eating asparagus.
13:55By the time she'd finished,
13:56the best that could be said
13:57about poor old Bertram
13:58was that,
13:59so far as was known,
14:00he hadn't actually
14:01burnt down an orphanage.
14:03The most illuminating story, sir.
14:06No, no, no, no, no,
14:07Jeeps, Jeeps,
14:08you haven't had the payoff yet.
14:10Oh, I'm so sorry, sir.
14:12The structure of your tale
14:13deceived me for a moment
14:15into thinking that
14:16it was over.
14:17No, no, no, no,
14:17the point is
14:18that she was actually
14:19engaged to this fellow
14:20with the legs.
14:22They'd had some minor
14:23disagreement the night before,
14:24but there they were
14:25the following night,
14:26dining together,
14:27their differences made up,
14:28and the love light
14:28once more in their eyes.
14:30And I expect
14:31much the same results
14:32with my cousin Angela.
14:33I look forward to it
14:35with lively anticipation, sir.
14:43Care for a saunter,
14:44Angela, old girl?
14:44Enough to, Bertie, darling.
14:46Go ahead.
14:48Shh.
14:49Tom's listening to the news.
14:54I have much to say
14:55that's not for the public ear.
15:04Bertie, darling,
15:05this grass is awfully wet.
15:06It'll ruin my shoes.
15:08Well, put your feet on my lap.
15:09All right.
15:10You can tickle my ankles.
15:12Right.
15:14Now, Angela,
15:15what about you and Tuppy?
15:17Is it true what I hear,
15:19that the wedding bells
15:19are not going to ring out?
15:20Yes.
15:21Definitely over, eh?
15:23Definitely.
15:25Well, if you want my opinion,
15:26it's a bit of goose
15:27for you, old girl.
15:28It's a mystery to me
15:29how you stood this glossop
15:30for so long.
15:31Is that an animal
15:31in the bush over there, Bertie?
15:34It's sort of rustled.
15:36Yeah, it's probably
15:36a weasel or something.
15:38No, taken all in all,
15:39this glossop ranks
15:40very low down
15:41among the wines and spirits.
15:42Frightful, oik.
15:43I always thought
15:44you were such friends.
15:45What, friends?
15:46No.
15:46No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
15:48Absolutely not, no.
15:49One was civil, of course,
15:51but in addition to looking like
15:52one of those things
15:53that come out of hollow trees,
15:55he's universally acknowledged
15:56to be a dumb brick
15:57of the first water.
15:59No soul, no conversation,
16:01nothing.
16:02Yes.
16:03Yes, you're quite right.
16:05Eh?
16:05It's so nice to talk
16:06to someone who takes
16:07a sensible view
16:08about this glossop.
16:10Well, I...
16:11He's conceited
16:12and opinionated,
16:13he drinks too much,
16:14eats too much,
16:15and I don't much like
16:16the colour of his hair.
16:19I'm going in.
16:23Um...
16:24Goodbye, Bertie.
16:27So!
16:29Ah, Tuffy, old chap.
16:31So!
16:33I've been here long?
16:34Long enough,
16:35and in about two seconds
16:36I'm going to kick your spine
16:37up to the top of your head.
16:38And I?
16:39Ha, ha, ha, yes.
16:40Um, I...
16:41I think I know
16:42what's on your mind, Tuffy.
16:43Um, if you were in those bushes
16:45during the conversation
16:46with the recent Angela...
16:47I was.
16:48You were.
16:48You were.
16:49Right, good.
16:49Um, yes,
16:50well, we won't go into
16:50the ethics of the thing.
16:52Um, eavesdropping,
16:53some people might call it,
16:53a bit un-English, Tuffy,
16:54I think you must admit.
16:55I'm Scots.
16:56Really?
16:56I didn't know that.
16:57I'm going to get you...
16:58Now, now, look, now, look,
16:59Tuffy, Tuffy,
17:00it was a plan.
17:01What are you talking about?
17:03Well, if it wasn't a plan,
17:05why would I knock you to Angela?
17:06Because you're in love
17:07with her yourself.
17:09I rest my case.
17:11What? No!
17:12Someone stole her from me
17:13in Cannes.
17:14You told me yourself
17:15she was with you all the time
17:16and hardly spoke to anybody else.
17:18Now, now, Tuffy,
17:19look, you've got this all wrong,
17:21and I can prove it.
17:23Now, during that sojourn in Cannes,
17:25my affections were
17:26engaged elsewhere.
17:27What?
17:28My affections.
17:29Engaged elsewhere during that sojourn.
17:31Well, who was she?
17:32My dear Tuffy,
17:33does one bandy a woman's name?
17:35Well, one does if one doesn't want
17:36one's runny head pulled off.
17:37Well, yes, right, yes.
17:38Well, obviously,
17:39this is a special case.
17:41Madeleine Bassett.
17:43You're in love
17:44with that weird gourd helpers, Bassett?
17:47Well, I don't think
17:48you should call her
17:48a weird gourd helpers, Tuffy.
17:50Odd in some of her views, perhaps.
17:52One does not quite see eye-to-eye with her
17:54in the matter of stars
17:56and bunny rabbits,
17:56but not a weird gourd helpers.
17:59And you stick to it
18:00that you're in love with her?
18:02It is not 24 hours
18:04since she turned me down.
18:06Turned you down?
18:07Like a bedspread
18:08in this very garden.
18:09So you'll readily see
18:10that I can't be the chap,
18:11if any,
18:12who stole Angela from you in Cannes.
18:14Well, because your affections
18:15were engaged elsewhere?
18:16During that sojourn.
18:19Oh, I see.
18:21All right, then.
18:24Sorry to have troubled you.
18:38It wasn't just you.
18:40What about the things Angela said?
18:43Well, she obviously
18:44spotted you in those bushes
18:46and was just
18:46talking to score off you.
18:48She adores you, Tuffy.
18:49She worshipped the ground
18:50you tread on.
18:53But,
18:54if you should see Mr Glossop,
18:57perhaps you would give him these.
18:59It's nearly six o'clock
19:00and he hasn't eaten
19:00a morsel since tea.
19:02Oh, I know.
19:04I'll put them down here.
19:05They'll be easier
19:06for him to reach.
19:10It's like leaving food out
19:11for a little animal,
19:12isn't it?
19:17Ah, Angela!
19:24How still and peaceful
19:25everything is.
19:43Jeeves,
19:44I have decided
19:45that Tuppy and Miss Angela
19:46will have to disentangle
19:47their own affairs.
19:48Today is the day
19:49for finally clearing up
19:50the whole Gussie Miss Bassett
19:52imbroglio.
19:53Indeed, sir.
19:55Where we've been falling down
19:56in the past
19:56is in not keeping it
19:57to the forefront
19:58of our minds
19:58that in Gussie Fignotl
19:59what we are dealing with
20:00is a poop.
20:01A sensitive plant
20:03might perhaps be
20:03a kinder description, sir.
20:05A poop, Jeeves.
20:07And what's more,
20:08a poop who drinks
20:08nothing stronger
20:09than orange juice.
20:10I was not aware
20:11of that, sir.
20:13Oh, yes, Jeeves,
20:13I've had it
20:14from his own lips.
20:15Whether from some
20:16hereditary taint
20:17or because he promised
20:18his mother he wouldn't.
20:20Gussie Fignotl
20:20has never pushed
20:21so much as the simplest
20:22gin and tonic
20:22over the larynx.
20:23And he expects,
20:25this poop expects,
20:27Jeeves,
20:27under these conditions
20:28to propose marriage
20:29to the girl he loves.
20:30Well,
20:31I mean,
20:32what hardly knows
20:32whether to smile
20:33or weep.
20:34What?
20:35You consider
20:35total abstinence
20:37to be a handicap
20:38in a gentleman
20:39wishing to make
20:39a proposal
20:40of marriage, sir?
20:41Oh, dash it, Jeeves,
20:42use your intelligence.
20:43Were it not
20:44for the juice
20:44of the grape
20:45and the grain,
20:46weddings would be
20:46a thing of the past,
20:47proposals but a dim memory.
20:50Without it, Jeeves,
20:51we babble.
20:56Thank you, Jeeves.
20:59Only active measures
21:01promptly applied
21:02can prevent
21:03this poor poop
21:04Fignotl
21:04from babbling
21:05about newts again.
21:07Which is why
21:08I intend to secure
21:09a bottle of gin
21:10and lace his
21:12luncheon orange juice
21:13with it.
21:14Sir?
21:16I can't imagine
21:17why you sir,
21:18Jeeves.
21:19Plan I've put forward
21:20seems to me
21:21to be icily logical.
21:22I fail to see
21:23why it should attract
21:24any sirring.
21:25No, sir.
21:29Let us hear
21:30your objections
21:31then, Jeeves.
21:32A certain amount
21:33of risk is inherent
21:34in your stratagem, sir.
21:36It is not always
21:36a simple matter
21:37to gauge the effect
21:38of alcohol
21:39on a subject
21:39previously unexposed
21:41to such stimulants.
21:42It can have
21:43distressing results
21:44in the case
21:45of parrots.
21:46Parrots?
21:47I'm thinking
21:47of an incident
21:48when I was
21:49in the service
21:49of the late
21:50Lord Brancaster,
21:51a gentleman
21:51who owned a parrot.
21:53One day
21:53it happened
21:54that the bird
21:54was lethargic, sir,
21:56and his lordship
21:56offered it
21:57a portion
21:57of seed cake
21:58steeped
21:59in the 84 port.
22:01Good egg.
22:02The bird
22:02bit his lordship
22:03on his thumb
22:04and sang
22:05part of a sea shanty.
22:07It then fell
22:08to the bottom
22:08of its cage
22:09and remained there
22:10for some
22:10considerable period
22:11of time
22:12with its legs
22:12in the air
22:13unable to move.
22:15I merely
22:15mention this, sir.
22:17There's a flaw
22:17here, Jeeves.
22:18Do you know
22:19what it is?
22:20No, sir.
22:22Gussie
22:22isn't a parrot.
22:24True, sir,
22:25but...
22:25No more discussion,
22:26Jeeves.
22:26He's a poop.
22:28Very good, sir.
22:36You noticed
22:37I said I was
22:37going to put
22:38this project
22:38through today,
22:39Jeeves.
22:40Why do you
22:41think I said
22:41today?
22:42Because you feel
22:43that if it were done
22:44when it is done
22:45then to a well
22:45it were done
22:45quickly, sir?
22:48Partly, Jeeves.
22:49Yes, partly.
22:50But the chief reason
22:51is that today
22:51is the day
22:52of the prize-giving
22:53at Market
22:53Snodsbury Grammar School.
22:55We shall,
22:56by lacing the juice,
22:57not only embolden him
22:57to propose to Miss Bassett,
22:59but also put him
23:00so into shape
23:00that he will hold
23:01that Market
23:02Snodsbury audience
23:02spellbound.
23:03I see, sir.
23:27I know,
23:34Let's go.
24:07Let's go.
24:11Parties.
24:32He seems to be happy enough, doesn't he?
24:34Indeed, sir. The engagement appears to have lifted its spirits quite considerably.
24:38Engagement?
24:40I'm not aware that Mr. Finknock had proposed to Miss Bassett this afternoon and was accepted, sir.
24:45Well, well, well, Jeeves.
24:47Yes, sir.
24:48You see how right I was?
24:49Indeed, sir.
24:50Yes, this must be rather an eye-opener for you, Jeeves. Watch me handling this case.
24:55Luckily, sir, I found an opportunity to add half a bottle of ardent spirit to his luncheon orange juice.
25:00Lord, ladies and gentlemen.
25:02Oh, Jeeves.
25:04So did I, Jeeves.
25:06Now, this year, we are all delighted to welcome, as our guest for the afternoon, Mr. Fitz Wattle.
25:13Finknottle.
25:13Finknottle.
25:15I should say, Finknottle.
25:18Well, of course you should, you silly ass.
25:21Well, all right. Get on with it.
25:24We are all happy, as I say, to welcome Mr. Finknottle, who has kindly consented to present the prizes.
25:32Now, I'm sure Mr. Finknottle's name is familiar to us all.
25:36Oh, well, not to you. You didn't seem to know it's a dashed well. What?
25:46I don't. Push off.
25:49Speech.
25:52Speech?
25:56Boys!
25:57No, I mean, ladies and gentlemen and boys.
26:05It's a beautiful world, boys and girls. Ladies and gentlemen. Lords and things.
26:13I mean, the sky is blue. The birds are singing. There's optimism everywhere.
26:20And why not, girls and ladies?
26:23I should like you all to be upstanding and give three cheers for this beautiful world.
26:28Up you get.
26:29Hip, hip.
26:31Hooray!
26:32Hip, hip.
26:33Hooray!
26:35Hip, hip.
26:36Hooray!
26:37All right. Sit down, sit down.
26:40Now, anybody who says this isn't a beautiful world doesn't know what they're talking about.
26:46You see, if there's one thing in the world I can't stand, it's a pessimist.
26:52See, a pessimist is a man who...
26:57Why, hello, buddy.
27:00I didn't know you were here.
27:03Now, there's an instance of what I mean.
27:05Uh, ladies and... what's it?
27:07Take a good look at that object sitting there at the back.
27:10Morning coat, trousers is worn, moldy rose in button. Oh, you can't miss him.
27:16I despise that man, women and children.
27:19And shall I tell you why? Eh?
27:22Because he...
27:23I think, uh, Mr. Fignottle, as, uh, as time is getting on, I think perhaps we ought to, uh, commence
27:28the prizes.
27:30Oh!
27:32If you...
27:33The prizes!
27:34Yes, right-o.
27:36Might as well be shoving along with it. What's this one?
27:39Spelling and dictation. P.K. Purvis.
27:45Forward, P.K. Purvis.
27:50You P.K. Purvis?
27:52Yes, sir.
27:57It's a beautiful world, P.K. Purvis.
28:00Yes, sir.
28:00Ah! You've noticed it, have you? Good.
28:04You married by any chance?
28:06No, sir.
28:07Get married, P.K. Purvis. It's the only life.
28:10Yes, sir.
28:11Good boy.
28:20Right, Headmaster, what's the next one?
28:22G.G. Simmons, scripture knowledge.
28:25G.G. Simmons, scripture knowledge.
28:33Sir, you've won the scripture knowledge prize, have you, G.G. Simmons?
28:39Sir, yes, sir.
28:40Yes.
28:41You looked as a sort of little tick who would.
28:44And yet, how are we to know that you came by it in an open and above-board manner?
28:49I can assure you, Mr. Fignottle, every care was taken to ensure a correct marking.
28:55Well, if you say so.
28:57All right, G.G. Simmons, take your prize.
28:59Sir, thank you, sir.
29:00But let me tell you, there's nothing to stick on sight about in winning a prize for scripture knowledge.
29:06Bertie Worcester won a scripture knowledge prize.
29:10But, of course, Bertie frankly cheated.
29:13He succeeded in scrounging that scripture knowledge prize over the heads of better men
29:18by means of some of the worst and most brazen swindling methods.
29:23Even at a school where such things would have gone.
29:28Madeleine!
29:32Madeleine!
29:42Madeleine!
29:43Madeleine!
29:45Madeleine!
29:45Madeleine!
29:46Madeleine!
29:47You will not be surprised to learn, Jeeves,
29:49that Madeleine and Gussie are no longer engaged after the fiasco of the prize giving.
29:54Was there much more after I left?
29:55No, sir. Mr Finknottle's inflamed cerebral condition brought about an early closure.
30:01He returned to the theme of Master G.G. Simmons and his scripture knowledge prize,
30:07hinting at systematic cheating on an impressive scale.
30:11He even went so far as to suggest that Master Simmons is well known to the police.
30:15Oh, golly. Yes, sir.
30:17Not our finest hour, Jeeves. No, sir.
30:21Door, Jeeves?
30:23Yes, sir.
30:26That may be Mr Finknottle now.
30:29Oh, it's not you. Hello, Tuppy.
30:32Mr Glossop.
30:35If you'll excuse me, sir.
30:39You remember what I swore I'd do to the chap who stole Angela from me?
30:43Well, as nearly as I can recall, you were going to pull him inside out.
30:47And make him swallow himself. Correct.
30:49Well, the programme holds good for the newt bloke.
30:52The newt bloke? Gussie?
30:55The serpent Finknottle.
30:57But Gussie loves Madeline Bassett.
30:59Oh, you can't all love this blasted Bassett.
31:03It astonishes me how anybody could love her.
31:05No, Finknottle loves Angela and she loves him.
31:08Oh, that is absurd.
31:11Absurd, is it?
31:12Well, then perhaps you'll kindly explain to me how she happens to be engaged to him.
31:17Engaged?
31:19Tuppy, you could knock me down with an F.
31:22There must be some mistake.
31:23There is.
31:24The snake Finknottle's just made it.
31:38Ah, there you are.
31:42Where are all the staff tonight, you know?
31:44They've gone over to the staff dance at Kingham Manor.
31:47Ah.
31:55So, it appears that you've gone and got engaged to the Gussie.
31:58Quite right. We're in love.
32:00Oh, come now, Angela.
32:04Gussie's... Gussie's a splendid chap in many ways.
32:06If you've got a sick newt on your hands, well, Gussie's just the fellow to tell you what to do
32:10until the doctor comes.
32:11But, honestly, old thing, you could fling bricks by the half hour in England's most densely populated districts
32:17without hitting one girl willing to become Mrs Finknottle without a general anaesthetic.
32:22Well, I thought it would be fun.
32:25Well, I'm surprised at you, young Angela.
32:27No wonder they say, oh, woman, woman.
32:29Who do?
32:31Well, chaps, mostly.
32:32You know your potty about Tuppy.
32:34For goodness sake, Bertie, go away and boil your head.
32:37Well, now, Angela, if you'll permit me to observe.
32:40No.
32:43Very well, then.
32:44I shall say no more.
32:52Just...
32:53Tickety-tonk.
32:58I say, Jeeves, do you know what's happened?
33:00Mr Finknottle has got himself engaged to my cousin Angela.
33:05Gentlemen who are discarded by one young lady are apt to attach themselves without delay to another, sir.
33:11It is what is known as a gesture.
33:12My Uncle George.
33:14Oh, never mind your Uncle George, Jeeves.
33:16No, sir.
33:16Save him for the long winter evenings, eh?
33:18Just as you say, sir.
33:19We must concentrate on rescuing Gussie.
33:21Go forth and scour the neighbourhood.
33:23I don't think that will be necessary, sir.
33:25Mr Finknottle is here.
33:27Ahem.
33:29Mr Finknottle, sir?
33:31Gussie?
33:36Is that door locked?
33:38Yes, sir.
33:43Let me in, Blast, you!
33:46I promise you!
33:51What's going on?
33:56Are you in there?
33:58What do you think you're doing?
34:00Listen.
34:01If you don't open up, I'm going to jolly well break this door down!
34:05Wustup!
34:06Wustup!
34:08Right.
34:12Why was that door locked?
34:14Is one to have no privacy, Glossop?
34:16Well, I instructed Jeeves to shut the door because I was about to disrobe.
34:22There.
34:22You see?
34:23Thank you, sir.
34:24Thank you, Jeeves.
34:25But I heard his snaky little voice.
34:28And I intend to search this room from end to end.
34:30And if he is here, you better say goodbye to him quickly and order your illies.
34:40What's in this cupboard?
34:41Just clothes.
34:43The usual wardrobe of an English gentleman.
34:45I'm into your line.
34:49Ha.
34:50Ha.
34:53Ha.
35:18Jeeves, this is all getting a bit thick.
35:21Yes, sir.
35:30Ah, hello, Aunt Dahlia.
35:32Bertie, give me a drink.
35:35Anything, so long as it's strong.
35:37Approach Bertram along those lines, Aunt Dahlia, and you'll catch him at his best.
35:41Attila.
35:43That's the name, Attila the Hun.
35:45Eh?
35:45I've been trying to think all through dinner what it was you reminded me of.
35:49Oh, now, look, after everything I've done...
35:52...tells me she's going to get engaged to this spink bottle.
35:57Well, temporarily, yes.
36:00Oh, there it is.
36:02My only daughter, for whom I had dreamed of a wonderful golden future, is going to marry an inebriated newt
36:10fancier.
36:11Well, onto my heart, yes, I can't but agree that things are not too oojar-cum-spiff at the moment.
36:16Yes, Jeeves?
36:17A note for you, sir.
36:19From whom, Jeeves?
36:20From Miss Bassett, sir.
36:23What does Madeleine Bassett want to write to me for?
36:26Open the damn thing and see.
36:34Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
36:37Ha-ha-ha-ha.
36:38Will you stop that?
36:41You don't understand.
36:42Madeleine Bassett says she's going to marry me.
36:44Well, I hope it keeps fine for both of you.
36:49i hope you won't take it amiss sir but i've been giving some attention to what might be called the
36:53amatory entanglements at brinkley it seems to me that drastic measures may be called for
36:58oh drastic away jeeves the prospect of being united for life with a woman who talks about
37:04little baby bunnies fills me with an unnamed dread supposing sir that in the middle of the night
37:10the fire alarm bell were to ring oh not the fire alarm thing again jeeves
37:15yes sir as i see it sir the occupants of the house would suppose that a conflagration had broken
37:22out possibly jeeves possibly whereupon if i'm not mistaken mr glossop would hasten to save miss
37:30angela while mr fink nottle would perform the same office for miss bassett huh this is based on
37:39psychology is it james yes sir it is thought to be the instinct of everyone upon the alarm of fire
37:44to save the object dearest to them seems to me there's a grave danger of seeing tuppy come out
37:50carrying a steak and kidney pie but resume jeeves resume well sir the relations between the two
37:55couples could scarcely continue distant after such an occurrence well you may be right i just feel
38:03that there's a great possibility for a slip up here jeeves however i'm not in a position to cavil at
38:09even a hundred to one shot at what hour would you suggest bonging the bell not before midnight sir
38:14hmm shall i bong or will you i think it would be better coming from you sir
38:23hmm
38:25hmm
38:25hmm
38:25hmm
38:27hmm
38:27hmm
38:53No need to panic.
38:54No, I'm not, Barbara.
38:55Don't be silly.
39:14Well, Chiefs?
39:16Sir?
39:17There's no good saying sir.
39:19Look around you.
39:20See for yourself.
39:21Your scheme has proved a bust.
39:24Certainly it would appear that matters have not arranged themselves quite as we had anticipated,
39:28sir.
39:29We, Jeeves?
39:31As I had anticipated, sir.
39:33I'm not blaming you, Jeeves, but after this, well, forgive me if I hurt your feelings,
39:38Jeeves.
39:38Certainly, sir.
39:39If you would pardon me for interrupting you, I fancy Mrs. Travers is endeavouring to attract
39:43your attention.
39:44Just step this way a moment, Attila dear, if you don't mind.
39:53What, oh, auntie?
39:56Well, Bertie dear, here we all are.
40:01Well, quite.
40:03It was you, dear child, who rang the fire bell, was it not?
40:07Um, I did sort of ring it, yes.
40:10Any particular reason?
40:12I mean, did you want something, or was it just a whim?
40:14Oh, I thought there was a fire.
40:17What gave you that impression, darling?
40:20Tell auntie Dahlia.
40:22Oh, I thought I saw flames.
40:24Um, the front door's shut.
40:28Somebody must have shut it behind them and it's locked.
40:30Then try another door.
40:32They're all locked.
40:34We could ring the doorbell.
40:36And who would you expect to answer it, dear?
40:37The servants have all gone to the dance of Kingham, and Mr. Seppings no doubt took the
40:43key of the back door with him.
40:45We can't stop out here, old blasted knight, blasted.
40:49If Seppings has taken the back door key, why doesn't one of us take one of the cars,
40:55drive over to Kingham and get it from him?
40:57That's the first sensible suggestion I've heard all day.
41:03It's locked.
41:08That's locked, too.
41:10Well, that's absolutely wonderful.
41:14They're all locked.
41:18Did you cough, Jeeves?
41:20Yes, madam.
41:21Is it influenza, or have you got an idea?
41:24Well, forgive me, madam, but it did occur to me that perhaps one of the gentlemen might
41:29be disposed to bicycle to Kingham Manor and procure the back door key.
41:34from Mr. Seppings.
41:35Jeeves, you are wonderful.
41:37Thank you, madam.
41:39Attila.
41:43Well, I haven't ridden for years.
41:45Well, you'll soon get the knack, once you've taken a toss or two.
41:50But it's miles to Kingham.
41:53Nine miles.
41:54And nine miles back?
41:55And nine miles back.
41:58But it's dark.
41:59What if I barge into something?
42:01I'll come a frightful cropper.
42:02Good.
42:05Very well, aunt.
42:06So be it.
42:32Very well, aunt.
42:33So be it.
42:37See you later.
42:38See you later.
42:40Go, go, go, go!
42:55Now, if I barge into something, it will come here.
42:55How about you?
42:56He's going to die.
42:59We're going.
43:01There.
43:01What if I barge into something?
43:25Yes, I need to see Mr. Sepping.
43:28They're all up at the dance.
43:30Er, yes. It is quite urgent, actually.
43:34I can try and telephone him with the telephone.
43:41Er, yes, if you would.
43:52Why, Mr. Worcester, sir.
43:54Sepping, I need the key of the back door.
43:56Oh, bless you, I left it with Mr. Jeeves.
44:01Jeeves?
44:02He said he wanted to walk in the garden before retiring for the night.
44:06He was going to leave it on the kitchen window sill for me.
44:10Mr. Worcester?
44:11What?
44:41Ha, ha, ha!
45:13Ha, ha, ha, ha!
45:21Oh, look!
45:23He's back!
45:37What on earth is going on, Jeeves?
45:39The house seems positively awash with joy and laughter.
45:43It's gratifying, isn't it, sir?
45:45Oh, come now, Jeeves.
45:47I fear I've not been entirely frank with you regarding the firebell, sir.
45:50I never anticipated that it would of itself produce the desired results.
45:55I'd intended it merely as a preliminary to what I might call the main business of the evening.
46:01You jibber, Jeeves.
46:04Explain yourself.
46:06It occurred to me that were you, sir, to be established as the person responsible for the ladies and gentlemen
46:11being forced to spend the night in the garden,
46:14everybody would take so strong a dislike to you that in this common antipathy they would sooner or later come
46:19together.
46:20And such proved to be the case.
46:23After your departure on the bicycle, the various estranged parties agreed so heartily in their abuse of you that the
46:31ice was broken.
46:32And when I informed the ladies and gentlemen that I had found the key and it was borne in on
46:37them that you were having that long ride for nothing,
46:41there was a notable lessening of tension.
46:45Oh, there was, was there?
46:48Of course.
46:48Hmm.
46:49The rain was a bonus.
46:51Of course.
46:52As soon as the storm began, their animosity vanished completely.
46:59Mr. Glossop and Miss Angela are once more betrothed, sir.
47:03Oh?
47:06And what about Miss Bassett?
47:07Do I still have to marry her?
47:09Oh, no, sir.
47:10Miss Bassett is once more safely affianced to Mr. Finknottle.
47:14Phew!
47:15Well, praise be, Jeeves.
47:17Indeed, sir.
47:19Although, if you'll forgive me for saying so, your methods are a little on the rough side.
47:23Well, sir, one cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs.
47:28I say, an omelette, um, do you think you could get me one?
47:34Certainly, sir.
47:35Perhaps with a little half-boss or something?
47:38Undoubtedly, sir.
47:40Right-o, Jeeves.
47:59Yes, sir.
48:00Yes, sir.
48:18Well, sir, I'll do it.
48:20I'll do it.
48:22Yes, sir.
48:26Okay.
48:27Cheers.
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