- 39 minutes ago
- #jeevesandwooster
- #bbc
#jeevesandwooster #bbc https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5domZkB-eRa6BuFOO8OXaQ
In Court After the Boat Race (or, Jeeves' Arrival)
Bertram Wilberforce "Bertie" Wooster returns home with a hangover when a valet named Jeeves rings the doorbell. He fixes Bertie his special hangover cure, and when it proves effective Jeeves is immediately engaged. Bertie has lunch with his aunt Agatha - "the nephew crusher" - at which she announces he must marry, and that the suitable candidate is Honoria Glossop. Bertie has no intention of marrying anyone and discovers that Bingo Little is in love with Honoria. He hatches a brilliant plan to get Honoria out of his hands and into Bingo's...
Starring:
Hugh Laurie
Stephen Fry
In Court After the Boat Race (or, Jeeves' Arrival)
Bertram Wilberforce "Bertie" Wooster returns home with a hangover when a valet named Jeeves rings the doorbell. He fixes Bertie his special hangover cure, and when it proves effective Jeeves is immediately engaged. Bertie has lunch with his aunt Agatha - "the nephew crusher" - at which she announces he must marry, and that the suitable candidate is Honoria Glossop. Bertie has no intention of marrying anyone and discovers that Bingo Little is in love with Honoria. He hatches a brilliant plan to get Honoria out of his hands and into Bingo's...
Starring:
Hugh Laurie
Stephen Fry
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:28Satsang with Mooji
00:45¶¶
01:01¶¶
01:03This is one of the most shameful cases ever to come before this bench.
01:10¶¶
01:13¶¶ In all my years as a magistrate,
01:17¶¶ I have seldom heard a tale of such anus iniquity.
01:24¶¶
01:24¶¶ Be quiet!
01:28¶¶
01:29¶¶
01:30¶¶
01:31¶¶
01:31¶¶
01:31¶¶
01:33¶¶
01:35an evening's hooliganism on the night of the university boat race can our seats of learning
01:43produce barbarians so lost to decency that their highest ambition is to steal a hard-working police
01:52constable's helmet and make off with it i find you guilty as charged bertram wilberforce
02:05worcester and have no alternative but to find you the sum of five pounds
02:14no buts was there oh no ifs
02:23take him away
02:28away i say
02:40we're here gov free bob
02:58good morning mr
02:59rooster
03:04thank you
03:47Oh, my God.
04:00Oh, my God.
04:49I was sent by the agency sir I was given to understand that you required a
04:54valid very good sir
05:27late night last night sir
06:22if you would drink this sir
06:23it's a little preparation of my own invention gentlemen have told me they
06:27find it extremely invigorating after a late evening
06:53I say
07:03I say
07:06you're engaged
07:07thank you sir
07:08my name is Jeeves
07:10I say Jeeves what an extraordinary talent
07:14thank you sir
07:16could one inquire
07:17I'm sorry sir
07:18no no of course not
07:20I'm not at liberty to divulge the ingredients sir
07:23no no no of course secrets of the guild and all that
07:26precisely sir
07:27hmm
07:27hmm
07:31ha
07:35ha
07:3647 ginger
07:37heavy
07:38semi
07:38number
07:39covering over across the briny
07:41sea
07:44what
07:45er
07:45I say
07:47I say hello
07:49hello
07:50I want to get in
07:52you'll have to come this way I'm afraid
07:54we can't shift him
07:55oh
07:56I was having to have a snifter before lunch
07:58sound idea
07:59anyone in the bar
08:00barmy
08:01funky phips
08:02is he
08:02woofy simpson and freddie chalk marshall
08:04really
08:04the worcester twins of course
08:06what eustace and claude
08:08you know them
08:09well they're my cousins
08:10you must be bertie worcester
08:11I am
08:12I'm rainsby
08:13how do you do
08:13you better come in
08:21well
08:22not all that
08:24it's not right mr. worcester
08:26I'm the one the committee's going to blame for this you know
08:29they can't abide moses the committee can't
08:31oh I think it adds a certain what's it
08:35come on rogers do give me a hand
08:39here we go
08:41thank you
08:42thank you
08:43thank you
08:45thank you
08:46thank you
08:46thank you
08:47thank you
08:49thank you
08:49thank you
08:50thank you
08:50thank you
08:50Bertie
08:52cousin Bertie
08:53did you meet young dog face when you're way in
08:56I met someone called rainsby in the hall with a moose
08:58elk
08:59sorry
09:00it's a common enough mistake
09:01it was a mistake
09:02pinching it
09:03where did you see it from
09:05I don't know some big museum place
09:07in Kensington
09:07I don't think I've ever been to Kensington
09:09hello
09:10mommy
09:11yes you have your mother lives there
09:13oh
09:14that Kensington
09:15so what do you want it for
09:16it's for the seekers
09:17what are the seekers
09:18it's a club in Oxford
09:20Eustace and I are rather keen to get in
09:22rainsby too
09:23but you have to pinch something to get elected
09:25now touching that lunch you very decently were going to volunteer to stand us
09:29can't be done I'm afraid
09:30I've got to have lunch with our aunt Agatha
09:32no
09:33not the nephew crusher
09:41Bertie
09:43aunt Agatha
09:45it is young men like you who make a person with the future of the race at heart of despair
09:50oh
09:51right
09:53cursed with too much money
09:55you do nothing but waste your time on frivolous pleasures
09:58you are simply an antisocial animal
10:02a drone
10:04Bertie you must marry
10:07oh
10:08oh
10:08I say really
10:10ha
10:10aunt Agatha
10:11will you be quiet
10:18there
10:19Macintosh
10:21you want someone
10:23strong
10:24strong
10:25self-reliant
10:26and sensible
10:26no I don't
10:27to counteract the deficiencies of your own character
10:30and by great good fortune
10:33I have found the very girl
10:34oh
10:35who is it
10:36Sir Roderick Glossop's daughter
10:38honoria
10:38no
10:39don't be silly Bertie
10:42sit down and eat your luncheon
10:48oh
10:48she is just the wife for you
10:51really look here
10:52she will mold you
10:54I don't want to be molded I'm not a jelly
10:56and that is a matter of opinion
10:59lady Glossop has very kindly invited you to Ditteridge Hall for a few days
11:03I told her you would be delighted to come down this afternoon
11:07oh
11:07what a pity I'm so sorry I've got a dashed important engagement this afternoon
11:12nonsense
11:14you will go to Ditteridge Hall this afternoon
11:19right
11:33oh jeems we shall be going down to Ditteridge this afternoon can you manage that
11:37certainly sir will we be travelling by train sir
11:40by train yes people by the name of Glossop
11:42would that be Sir Roderick Glossop the noted nerve specialist sir
11:45that's the one
11:46very good sir
11:47which suit would you wear sir
11:49oh this one I should think
11:52very good sir
11:54don't you like this suit Jeeves?
11:56oh yes sir
11:57oh
12:08what don't you like about this suit Jeeves?
12:10it's a very nice suit sir
12:13well what's wrong with it come on out with it
12:14well sir if I might make the suggestion if we are to travel by train
12:18perhaps a simple brown Harris tweed such as this might be more appropriate
12:22oh that's absolute rocks Jeeves
12:25very good sir
12:26perfectly blithering my dear man
12:29just as you say sir
12:30yeah all right then
12:32yes sir
12:50yes sir
12:52Jeeves
12:54I have to make one thing crystal clear
12:56yes sir
12:58yes sir
12:58I am not one of those fellows who become absolute slaves to their valets
13:01no sir
13:03well as long as we understand each other
13:06perfectly sir
13:07yes sir
13:09yes sir
13:09yes sir
13:10yes sir
13:14yes sir
13:14yes sir
13:16yes sir
13:16yes sir
13:17yes sir
13:17yes sir
13:17yes sir
13:17yes sir
13:18yes sir
13:28yes sir
13:36yes sir
13:41I say!
13:43Oh, steady on!
13:45Is that Bingo Little?
13:47Me? Yes.
13:49That's not Bertie Worcester.
13:51It is!
13:53I haven't seen you for ages, Bingo.
13:55I've been living in the country.
13:57Really? Whereabouts in the country?
13:59Well, here, as a matter of fact.
14:00But why? You hate the country.
14:01Yes, I know. I got a job tutoring the Glossop Kid.
14:04What do you want to tutor the Glossop Kid for?
14:06Money, Bertie Moolah. Oof! Spondulix!
14:09Oh, well, yes.
14:11Oh, yes, the only one of the family I know is the girl, Honoria.
14:14Oh, Bertie.
14:16What?
14:16I worship her, Bertie. I worship the very ground she treads on, a tender goddess.
14:21Big girl, sporty.
14:23Strong and upright and wonderful.
14:25Well, yes, it's a matter of...
14:27Wait a minute. Have you told her?
14:30Not yet. I haven't got the nerve.
14:32Well, we walk together in the gardens most evenings, and it sometimes seems to me there's a look in her
14:37eye.
14:38Yes, I know that look.
14:40Like a sergeant major.
14:41Zzz!
14:44Is that the kid?
14:45Yes.
14:47He's fishing.
14:49I'll introduce you, if you like.
14:52This is Oswald.
14:54Bertie Worcester.
14:55Well, well, Oswald. How are you?
14:57All right.
14:58Nice place, this.
15:00It's all right.
15:01Like fishing, do you?
15:02It's all right.
15:11Why don't you shove him in, in the water?
15:14Wake him up a bit.
15:15She'll never forgive me. She's devoted to the little brute.
15:19Great Scott! I've got it!
15:21Listen, Bingo, Honoria's away, isn't she?
15:23She's coming back tomorrow.
15:24She's coming, my love, my own.
15:27Yes, fine, absolutely. But you still want to make a hit with her, don't you, Bingo?
15:30Yes.
15:31Bless you, my child. You can do it.
15:32How, Bertie, how?
15:34It's very simple.
15:44It's all in the wrist action, you see.
15:45You've got to get the flip forward first to disengage with the chin strap.
15:49That's where Barmy Fungie Phipps went wrong on New Year's Eve.
15:52Is that a person?
15:53A Barmy?
15:54Well, there's some dispute about that.
15:56But, you see, what he did was to pull straight back on the helmet
15:59and the policeman came with it.
16:01Oh, but he must have been hurt.
16:03Barmy? No.
16:04Just a couple of bruises.
16:05I think my wife was referring to the policeman.
16:09No, no, no, no, no, no.
16:10Not a bit of it, no.
16:11They enjoy it, like foxes.
16:13Foxes?
16:13How they enjoy being hunted.
16:15Oh, yes.
16:16Oh, but foxes are vermin, Mr. Worcester.
16:20Nasty, cunning creatures, like cats.
16:23Lady Glossop and I dislike cats.
16:25We hate them.
16:27Nasty, cruel beasts.
16:29Now, let me try to understand this, Mr. Worcester.
16:33Policemen, you say, enjoy having their helmets stolen?
16:36Well, yes.
16:38Yes, I think they try and enter into the spirit of the thing,
16:41don't you think, Bigger?
16:41Oh, yes.
16:42Yes, yes.
16:45But what is the point of it?
16:47Point?
16:48Well, it's, um, it's tradition, really.
16:51It's part of the rich tapestry of our island story.
16:54It's, um...
16:55Completely stupid.
16:57You mustn't be rude, Oswald.
16:59No, no, no, no, that's all right.
17:01That's all right.
17:01He's young.
17:03He'll learn.
17:13What sort of a day is it, Jeeves?
17:15Extremely clement, sir.
17:16With the promise of further fine weather to come.
17:19Excellent.
17:20Just the sort of day for pushing cheeky young blighters off bridges, I should think.
17:24I couldn't say, sir.
17:26Shall I lay out our grey flannel trousers and the checked sports coat for this morning, sir?
17:30Oh, yes, yes, yes.
17:34I expect you're wondering what I meant by that last remark, eh, Jeeves?
17:37I should be most interested to know, sir.
17:41Oh, well, right.
17:42Well, I've had rather a stunning idea, Jeeves.
17:45Indeed, sir.
17:47Well, you see, my friend Bingo Little is, well, more than a little smitten with the daughter
17:54of the house.
17:55Miss Honoria Glossop, sir?
17:56As you say, Jeeves, Miss Honoria Glossop.
17:59How do you know about Honoria Glossop?
18:01There was some discussion in the servants' hall last evening, sir.
18:05I'm given to understand she is a healthy young lady, sir.
18:09Yes, well, that's, um, that's a very good way of putting it, Jeeves.
18:12Thank you, sir.
18:13And, uh, Mr. Little is enamoured of her, sir.
18:16Indeed, he is.
18:17The trouble is, the poor sap can't bring himself to pop the question.
18:20A common enough predicament, sir?
18:22Well, possibly, Jeeves, possibly.
18:23Anyway, your employer, fired, I must confess, by the fact that my aunt Agatha has me earmarked
18:29for Honoria, unless I can layer off onto someone else, has come up with a novel and foolproof
18:33solution to the problem.
18:34This is very gratifying news, sir.
18:36Yes, well, we thought so, Bingo and I, yes.
18:39What it is, is this.
18:40Miss Glossop's young brother, Oswald, is, by way of being, the apple of his sister's eye.
18:46Human nature is very mysterious, sir.
18:49Yeah, well, my thoughts precisely, Jeeves.
18:51Anyway, my plan is to lure Honoria to the vicinity of the bridge, and then surreptitiously push
18:57the little blighter into the lake.
18:58Mr. Little will thereupon hop out from behind the bulrushes where he's been waiting, rescue
19:03Oswald, and have professions of undying love showered upon him by a grateful sister.
19:09What's the matter, Jeeves?
19:11I couldn't advise it, sir.
19:14Couldn't advise it?
19:16What do you mean, you couldn't advise it?
19:17It's just my opinion, sir, but your plan has too many imponderables.
19:23No, no, only Oswald's going to be imponderable.
19:26What?
19:28In...
19:28Ponderable.
19:30Psh.
19:31Thank you, sir.
19:32Yes.
19:33Mm.
19:35And if I might say so, sir, any undertaking that requires the presence of four people in
19:41one place at the same time, while two of them are unaware of the fact, is fraught with
19:46the possibility of mishap, sir.
19:48Oh, balderdash, Jeeves.
19:52Yes.
19:52Not to say, flat doodle.
19:54Very good, sir.
19:56No, I'm sorry, Jeeves, but when you've been a little longer in my employ, you will come
19:59to understand that all my chums rely heavily on your employer's wisdom and knowledge of
20:04human nature in the conduct of their affairs.
20:06Awesome.
20:06Just as you say, sir.
20:08Not to mention my organisational powers and just plain... thingness.
20:15Will that be all, sir?
20:17Yes, that'll be all, thank you.
20:21Jeeves.
20:23Very good, Sam.
20:46Thank you, Jeeves.
20:54Good morning, Mr. Worcester.
20:55Oh, good morning, Lady Gloss.
20:56Do sit down.
20:58I, er, was looking for Oswald.
21:01Oswald?
21:02Er, yes, well, he's probably getting ready to go fishing, I should think.
21:05At least I hope so.
21:06You hope so?
21:08Er, yes, well, you know, fishing is a good healthy pursuit for a young lad.
21:11Character building, too.
21:13Backing against the mighty forces of Mother Nature.
21:16Yes, Orfie Prosser once asked Boko Fiddleworth down to his place for some fly fishing.
21:20Poor old Boko couldn't fathom why anyone would want to catch flies.
21:25Still, that's Boko for you.
21:26Do you always breakfast at this hour, Mr. Worcester?
21:29Oh, good Lord, no.
21:30No, no, no.
21:31Only if I get up early.
21:33Sir Roderick was on his way to London at eight o'clock.
21:36Really?
21:37He had an urgent call from the Bishop of Hackney.
21:40Ah, the old Bish got a few pages stuck together, did he?
21:43My husband is not in the book trade, Mr. Worcester.
21:46He is a well-known nerve specialist.
21:49Yes, that's what I said.
21:50Oh, some dashed interesting work it must be, too.
21:53Do you work, Mr. Worcester?
21:57What, work as in honest toil, you mean?
22:00Yes.
22:02Hewing the wood and drawing the old wet stuff and so forth.
22:05Quite.
22:06Well, I've known a few people who worked.
22:08I absolutely swear by it, some of them.
22:10But...
22:11Boko Fiddleworth almost had a job once.
22:14Who is this Boko Fiddleworth you keep talking about?
22:18Boko?
22:18You don't know Boko?
22:19No.
22:21Good Lord, I thought everybody knew Boko.
22:24I do not.
22:25Looks like a parrot with a molt.
22:28No.
22:30Once put his shirt on Silly Billy to win the Cesaroich and Lady of Spain beat him by a nose.
22:35I have never met Boko Fiddleworth.
22:38No, well, I couldn't recommend it wholeheartedly anyway.
22:40He's an acquired taste, Boko.
22:42At least that's what his mother says.
22:44You were telling me how he once got a job.
22:47Oh, yes.
22:48Well, Boko's got an uncle in the city, you see.
22:50He broke stocks or something like that.
22:51He offered Boko this job and Boko accepted it.
22:54I don't think either of them could have been firing on all cylinders, to be honest, at the time.
22:57Anyway, chaos obviously ensued until Boko saw sense and gave it all up.
23:01Then we had to take it in turns to go around and sit with him until he'd calmed down.
23:06How would you ever support a wife, Mr Worcester?
23:10Well, it depends on whose wife it was.
23:12A gentle pressure beneath the left elbow when crossing a busy street normally fills the bill.
23:24Bertie!
23:25Bingo!
23:26She telephoned.
23:27She phoned you, eh?
23:29Well, that's good, isn't it?
23:30Shows a friendly spirit.
23:32Well, she didn't phone me exactly.
23:33I mean, I picked the phone up because I was standing beside it.
23:36What did she say?
23:37She said, let me talk to someone with a brain.
23:39Ah, but it was friendly, the way she said it.
23:44Ow!
23:45Don't start in Latin.
23:47Did she say what time she'd be back?
23:48In about an hour, she said.
23:50And when was that?
23:51About an hour ago.
23:52She's bringing a friend, Daphne Braithwaite or something her name is.
23:55Very well, then.
23:56Twelve o'clock.
23:57What?
24:03Twelve o'clock? The bridge, Oswald.
24:05Oh, right.
24:06Yes.
24:08We're still on for that, then, are we?
24:10Oh, absolutely.
24:11You still want to bring an Oreo to her knees, don't you?
24:12Oh, Bertie, she's such a wonderful person.
24:15She has to be.
24:15Yes, fine.
24:16So, twelve o'clock, you be hidden in the bulrushes by the bridge.
24:19Oh, Bertie, do you really think she's...
24:20I'll see you later.
24:20Yeah.
24:46Oh, leave the bags.
24:47Birkett will get them.
24:49Birkett!
24:53Come inside.
24:54I want to show you some of the things I shot last week.
24:59Hello, Honoria.
25:00Oh, it's that Bertie Worcester.
25:01What's he doing here?
25:03What are you doing here, Bertie?
25:05Oh, you know, this and that, hither and yon.
25:07This is my friend, Daphne Braithwaite.
25:10How do you do?
25:11Bertie's a wastrel.
25:13Oh, goody.
25:13At least that's what his aunt Agatha says.
25:17Come on, Daphne.
25:20See you later, Bertie.
25:22Oh, will I?
25:23Yes.
25:24Yes, see you later, Daphne.
25:27Oh, I say.
25:28Um, Honoria.
25:29What?
25:30Um, will you come for a walk with me?
25:32What?
25:33You know, a walk.
25:36Burkett, the Berks.
25:38What for?
25:40Uh, I want to tell you something.
25:42Really?
25:43Now?
25:43No, no.
25:44Uh, in about half an hour.
25:47Right.
25:48No, no, no.
25:49That's when...
25:49That's when.
25:50That's when.
25:51In about 20 minutes by the bridge.
25:54Why in 20 minutes?
25:56It'll be better then.
26:00Excuse me.
26:09Hello, Mummy.
26:10I'm back.
26:11Did you have a nice time at the Braithwaite, dear?
26:13Lovely, yes.
26:14I've brought Daphne back with me.
26:16Close the door a moment, Honoria.
26:23Come and sit down.
26:29I have been talking to Mr Worcester.
26:32Yes, I saw him.
26:33What's he doing here?
26:34Mrs Gregson sent him.
26:36What on earth for?
26:37He doesn't shoot.
26:39He doesn't hunt.
26:40It is your birthday next week, Honoria.
26:43I hope she didn't send him down as a present.
26:46You will be 24.
26:50Oh, no.
26:52It is a good family, Honoria.
26:54Oh, honestly, Mummy, he doesn't work even.
26:57He told me this morning he has been thinking about work.
27:02He is not all your father and I would have hoped for for you, I agree,
27:06but surely you could make something of him.
27:13Is he keen at all?
27:15Oh, I'm sure he is.
27:18You know how these young men try to hide their feelings.
27:38Keep still, you ass. She'll see you.
27:41Don't sniff.
27:43Right, here she comes.
27:51Ah.
27:54Well?
27:54Yes, I was just thinking.
27:56What?
27:57Yes, this may sound a bit rummy and all that, but there is someone here who is frightfully in love
28:03with you and so forth.
28:04A friend of mine, as a matter of fact.
28:06Well, why doesn't he say so?
28:09He simply hasn't got the nerve.
28:11Worships the ground you tread on and all that, but just can't whack up the ginger to tell you.
28:15This is very interesting.
28:17Is it?
28:17Hmm.
28:18Well, anyway, that's the posish.
28:20So, just bear it in mind, eh?
28:21Oh, Bertie, how funny you are.
28:24I wish you wouldn't make all that row.
28:26You're scaring the fish away.
28:28Oswald, you shouldn't sit on the bridge like that.
28:31He might easily fall in.
28:33Might he?
28:35Oh, well, I'll go and tell him.
28:40Hello.
28:42Fishing, eh?
28:48Here, watch out.
28:51Ah!
28:54Oh, help!
28:57Help him!
29:03Help!
29:03What are you doing?
29:05Help!
29:07Help!
29:09Help!
29:23Help!
29:24Help!
29:25Help!
29:31Help!
29:33Help!
29:33Help!
29:33Come on!
29:34Oh!
29:36Yes!
29:36No!
29:37Yes!
29:38Now stay out!
29:40Absolutely covered!
29:44Yes, I'm...
29:46Oswald!
29:46Patrick, you're off now!
29:48Oswald!
29:50Are you all right?
29:52He pushed me!
29:53He's mad!
29:54No, you run along and change your clothes!
29:57Oh, Noria!
30:02Oh, Bertie, you are funny!
30:04First proposing to me in that extraordinary roundabout way,
30:07and then pushing poor little Oswald into the lake
30:09so as to impress me by saving him!
30:12No, no, no!
30:12Now you run straight up into the house
30:14and change your wet clothes before you catch your death of cold!
30:16No, no!
30:16Go on!
30:20Oh, Bertie!
30:23Bertie!
30:24Just the man I wanted to see!
30:26Bertie, a wonderful thing has happened!
30:29Oh, Blightheart!
30:30What became of you?
30:31Do you realize?
30:31Your clothes are all wet!
30:34Bertie, I was just on my way to hide in those rushes
30:36when the most extraordinary thing happened!
30:38Walking across the lawn, I saw the most radiant,
30:40the most beautiful girl in the world!
30:42We started to talk.
30:43Her name was Daphne Braithwaite.
30:44Bertie, our eyes met, and I knew at once
30:46that what I imagined to me in my love for Lenorea Glossop
30:48was a mere passing whim!
30:50Daphne's so wonderful, Bertie, like a tender goddess!
30:54She's so sympathetic, Bertie.
30:56Daphne!
30:59And her handicap's only six.
31:08It's funny how these things turn out, don't you think, Jeeves?
31:11Indeed, sir.
31:12Before we get Bingo under starter's orders, even.
31:15There he is, falling in love with this blessed sex handicapper.
31:18Still, I suppose at least it means he's been saved from the frightful Honoria.
31:22True, sir.
31:23But if I might say so, sir,
31:26at a cost to yourself which might have caused other lesser men to blench.
31:31Oh, come jeez.
31:33Slight dousing is no more than a chap might do for any chap under the cirques.
31:36It was not the dousing to which I was referring, sir, but to the engagement.
31:42Engagement?
31:44I was downstairs a few moments ago, sir, and could not help but overhear Miss Glossop
31:48announcing your engagement to her.
31:58Is it getting chilly in here, Jeeves?
32:00No, sir.
32:02Oh.
32:03Must be my imagination.
32:14Bertie was so sweet, Mrs Gregson, and so funny.
32:17I find it difficult to envisage.
32:20I shall be able to make something of him, I'm sure.
32:22Well, he has led a completely wasted life up to the present.
32:26I say.
32:27Oh, be quiet, Bertie.
32:28But there's a lot of good in him.
32:30No, there isn't, actually.
32:31It simply wants bringing out.
32:33It's time I took you in hand, Bertie Wertie.
32:37You want someone to look after you.
32:39No, I don't. Really, I don't.
32:41Yes, you do.
32:43Bye-bye, Bertie.
32:44Goodbye, Mrs Gregson.
32:45Goodbye.
32:47Bertie.
32:47Yes, Aunt Agatha.
32:50Dear Honoria doesn't know it, but a little difficulty has arisen about your marriage.
32:54By Jove, really?
32:55Oh, it's nothing at all.
32:57Of course, it's only a little exasperating.
33:00No, the fact is that Glossops are being a little troublesome.
33:03Sir Roderick particularly so.
33:05Ah, thinks I'm not a good Bertie.
33:07Wants to scratch the fixture.
33:08Well, it's a shame that perhaps he's right.
33:09The play don't be so absurd, Bertie.
33:11It's nothing as serious as that.
33:13But a nerve specialist with his extensive practice can hardly help taking a rather warped view of humanity.
33:21You mean he thinks I've got fewer marbles than advertised?
33:24Oh, no, no, no.
33:26Well, he just wants to satisfy himself that you are completely normal.
33:33Well, of all the blessed nerve.
33:35I mean, I'm not a chap to take offence, but...
33:37So, I have said that you will give them dinner this evening.
33:40Well, he thinks I'm a raving loony.
33:42No, don't be silly, Bertie.
33:47And remember, the Glossops drink no wine.
33:51Yes, Aunt Agatha, I remember.
33:53And remember, Sir Roderick can eat only the simplest of foods owing to an impaired digestion.
33:59Yes, well, I should think a dog biscuit and a glass of water would about meet the case.
34:02Bertie!
34:03That is precisely the sort of idiotic remark that would be calculated to arouse Sir Roderick's strongest suspicions.
34:12He is a very serious-minded man.
34:42You're not Bertie.
34:43He's better-looking than Bertie.
34:45It's very kind of you to say so, Sir.
34:46We're his cousins.
34:47I'm Claude Worcester.
34:48I'm Eustace Worcester.
34:50I'm not his cousin.
34:51I'm Reinsby.
34:52I'm delighted to meet you, Lord Reinsby.
34:54Won't you come in, please?
34:55What's your name?
34:56Jeeves, sir.
34:57I'm Mr. Worcester's new valet.
34:59The last one used to pinch his socks.
35:02Mr. Worcester is not in at the moment, sir, but I'm sure he would like me to offer you some
35:05refreshment.
35:05That's jolly decent of him, Jeeves.
35:07He has some Bollinger 27, which is particularly fun.
35:11It'd be a shame to let it go off.
35:16Jeeves!
35:17Yes, sir?
35:18We've got some things down in the taxi which we want to take back to Oxford tonight.
35:22But the last train's not till 10.10.
35:25Say, were we invited to dinner?
35:29I regret not, sir.
35:31Anyway, we were going to ask cousin Bertie if we could leave some things here until the train.
35:37I'm sorry, sir.
35:38I should have to ask Mr. Worcester's permission first.
35:41What manner of things might they be, sir?
35:43A top hat.
35:44A fish.
35:45And a couple of cats, of course.
35:48Cats, sir?
35:51Perhaps Mr. Worcester would not object.
35:53Oh, thank you, Jeeves.
35:54Oh, thank you, Jeeves.
35:55Dogface, go and get the stuff and bring it up.
35:57Right.
35:59Where is Bertie, anyway?
36:01He had an important meeting with Mr. Fungy Phipps, sir.
36:04Poor me Fungy Phipps.
36:06I believe that is the subriquet, sir, yes.
36:09Has the IQ of a backward clam?
36:11It's my understanding that amongst fellow members of the Drones Club he is considered something of a dangerous intellectual, sir.
36:17That's the one.
36:18Mr. Worcester informed me that he is attending the weekly meeting of the Drones Club Fine Arts Committee.
36:25No.
36:26Seven.
36:30Four.
36:31What's a king count as?
36:33Ten.
36:36What's a ten count as, then?
36:38Ten.
36:39Tens and all picture cards count as ten.
36:42How long have you been playing this game, Barney?
36:44About an hour and a quarter.
36:47Anyhow, that's a leaner.
36:48Leaners only count half.
36:49Oh, good shot, Bertie.
36:52Oh, my game, I think.
36:54You've not scored a hundred yet, have you?
36:56Five hundred.
36:57Oh, well.
36:58I thought we were playing to a hundred.
37:00Let's have another drink at the bar.
37:01Can't be done, I'm afraid.
37:02I've got people coming to dinner.
37:04Toodle-pip.
37:04Bye.
37:06What do sevens count as?
37:20This is a story about Minnie the Moocher.
37:23She was a low-down hoochie coocher.
37:27She was the roughest, toughest, frail.
37:31But Minnie had a heart as big as a whale.
37:34Ho-dee, ho-dee, ho-dee, hoo.
37:36Ho-dee, ho-dee, ho-dee, hoo.
37:38Raw-dee, raw-dee, raw.
37:40Raw-dee, raw-dee, raw.
37:41Tee-dee, hee-dee, hee-dee.
37:43Tee-dee, hee-dee, hee.
37:45But Minnie had a heart as big as a whale.
37:51You know, I can't help failing, Jeeves,
37:53that I could do better justice to this song
37:55if I understood what the words meant.
37:57Oh, I doubt that, sir.
37:58I mean, all this ho-dee, ho-dee, ho stuff is pretty clear,
38:01but what do you suppose a hoochie coocher is, exactly?
38:04It's difficult to say, sir,
38:06unless it's in connection with one of the demotic American words
38:09for ardent spirits.
38:11I'm thinking of hooch, a word of Eskimo origin, I'm informed.
38:14Tew! You barely well are informed, Jeeves.
38:17Do you know everything?
38:19I really don't know, sir.
38:21Hmm.
38:23Erm...
38:23She had a dream about the king of Sweden.
38:27He gave her things that she was needin'.
38:31Now, you see, now, that is clever, Jeeves.
38:34Really, sir?
38:35That line about the king of Sweden and things she was needin'.
38:38Yes, his majesty, King Gustaf,
38:40does seem to have been extraordinarily generous to the young lady, sir.
38:42No, no, no, no, no, no.
38:44I meant, erm...
38:44I meant the fact that it rhymes, you see.
38:46Sweden, needin'.
38:47Almost, sir.
38:49Hmm.
38:49He gave her a home built of gold and steel,
38:53a platinum car with diamond studded wheels,
38:56ho-dee, ho-dee, ho-dee, ho!
39:00I say, Jeeves, could you lend a hand here, do you think?
39:03Very good, sir.
39:04It's just that it's a bit difficult, you know, being just the one of me.
39:06It's a sort of call-and-response thing.
39:08I sing ho-dee, ho-dee, ho,
39:09and you have to go ho-dee, ho-dee, ho back.
39:12Do you understand?
39:13I think so, sir.
39:14Right, let's try it.
39:15Um...
39:16Ho-dee, ho-dee, ho-dee, ho!
39:18Ho-dee, ho-dee, ho, sir!
39:20De-rah, da-rah, da-rah!
39:22Ra-dee, ra-dee, ra, sir!
39:24Tee-dee-hee-dee-hee!
39:26Tee-dee-hee-dee-hee, sir!
39:29Yes, I don't mean to be overly critical, Jeeves.
39:32I mean, I know you're doing your best.
39:34Thank you, sir.
39:35I just think that perhaps we could dispense with the sir at the end of every line.
39:39You know, it shows the proper feudal spirit and all that,
39:42but I'm afraid it does play merry hell with the rhythm of the thing.
39:45Very good, sir.
39:46All right.
39:48Ho-dee, ho-dee, ho!
39:50Ho-dee, ho-dee, ho!
39:52Tee-dee-hee-dee-hee!
39:54Tee-dee-hee-dee-hee!
39:55But Minnie had a heart as big as the world!
40:01Well, now, Jeeves.
40:02Do you think I ought to sing Minnie the Moocher to the Glossops this evening?
40:05I shouldn't think it advisable, sir.
40:07I have not heard that Sir Roderick is musical.
40:10Ah, no, but Lady Glossop is.
40:12There is also that to be considered, sir.
40:16Well, now, what are you giving us for dinner tonight?
40:18Consomme, sir.
40:19A cutlet and a savoury.
40:21And some lemon squash, iced.
40:24Well, I don't see how that can harm them.
40:26Just don't get carried away with the excitement of the thing and start bringing in coffee.
40:30Very good, sir.
40:33Right.
40:34Stand by, Jeeves.
40:36Ha!
40:36Thinks I'm barmy, does he?
40:37We'll show him, eh, Jeeves?
40:40Dubitably, sir.
40:42Just don't let your eyes go glassy or you'll find yourself in a padded cell before you know where you
40:46are.
40:49What-ho, what-ho, what-ho!
40:51Good evening, Mr Worcester.
40:53Good evening, Jeeves.
40:55Good evening, Lady Glossop.
40:57We're a little late, I'm afraid.
40:59Sir Roderick was detained at the Duke of Ram Firmlin's.
41:03Ram Firmlin?
41:03Yes, he, um, he's off his rocker, isn't he?
41:06There's nothing seriously wrong with his grace.
41:08It's-it's merely unfortunate that his footman failed to give him his sugar this morning.
41:12Sugar?
41:13He likes a lump of sugar, first thing.
41:15His grace is under the impression that he is a canary.
41:18Oh, well.
41:19A mistake anyone might make.
41:21And as he didn't get his sugar, he flew into a temper and tried to perch on the picture rail.
41:27Well, it's not unreasonable.
41:29I rather feel like doing that in the mornings when I don't get my tea.
41:32Ah, right, so, shall we go for it, then?
41:34Good.
41:35All right.
41:45Uh, now, if I sit in the middle, uh, Lady Glossop, would you like to sit on my right?
41:50And Sir Roderick on my left.
41:52Ah.
41:54Uh, is that right?
41:55No, wait a minute.
41:56No, perhaps Lady Glossop ought to sit in the middle.
41:58Um, ah, she's the only lady.
42:00Um, then we can sit either side.
42:01Shall we try that?
42:02Yes, Lady Glossop in the middle.
42:04Uh, yes, I, if you'd like to go on the other side, Sir Roderick, and I'll sit here.
42:07Uh, no, wait a minute.
42:09That's not right, is it?
42:10No, Sir Roderick ought to sit in the middle.
42:12Ah, well, he's the only knight.
42:13Ha, ha.
42:14Distinguished gent and all that.
42:15Yes, Sir Roderick in the middle.
42:16No, it's all right.
42:16We're getting there.
42:17We're getting there.
42:17Sir Roderick here.
42:18Uh, yes, if I can just squeeze past.
42:20Ha, ha.
42:21Uh, no, hold on, hold on.
42:23Can't have husband and wife sitting together.
42:25Uh, no, that's right.
42:26I'll sit in the middle.
42:27Uh, yes, and Sir Roderick on that side, and Lady Glossop on this side, if you wouldn't mind.
42:31There we go.
42:32Ha, ha, ha.
42:34Hold on, we're back where we started now.
42:36Uh, Mr. Worcester.
42:38Hello?
42:39Let us sit down.
42:42Oh, right, yes.
42:43Good idea.
42:44Yes.
42:47Phew, I'm worn out.
42:48Ha, ha, ha.
42:50Uh, lemon squash, anyone?
42:51No, thank you.
42:52No, Sir Roderick?
43:03What do you say, James?
43:03That suit doesn't look at all bad, does it?
43:05Thank you, sir.
43:11So, Sir Roderick, this Ram Firminen fellow, does he get dressed up in yellow feathers and all that?
43:16Well, I mean, I know I would if I thought I was a canary.
43:18Ha, ha, ha.
43:19Pretty Polly.
43:21Ha, ha, ha.
43:22Seriously, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm totally interested in people who get the Jim Jams because, well,
43:25some of my best friends...
43:30Do you keep a cat, Mr. Worcester?
43:33A cat?
43:33No.
43:34I had a distinct impression I heard a cat mewing, either in this room or very close at hand.
43:40Oh, no, well, it's probably a taxi or something in the street.
43:43A taxi, Mr. Worcester?
43:45Yes, well, taxis squawk a bit, don't they?
43:47Squawk?
43:48Yeah, it's rather like cats, in a way.
43:50Lady Glossop and I have a particular horror of cats.
43:53Oh, well, there you go, then. I don't much like taxis.
43:56Ha, ha, ha, ha.
43:58My husband had an unfortunate experience with a taxi only this afternoon.
44:04Indeed I did.
44:05I was about to be driven to the Duke of Ramfermline's house.
44:08Or cage, as I expect he likes to call it.
44:13Anyway, I was sitting innocently in my car when my hat was snatched from my head.
44:18Now, as I looked back, I perceived it being waved in a kind of feverish triumph from the interior of
44:23a taxi cab.
44:24Phew, what an extraordinary thing. Must have been some sort of practical joke, I suppose.
44:30I confess I failed to detect anything akin to comedy in the outrage.
44:35The action was without question that of a mentally unbalanced subject.
44:40Mr. Worcester, what is the meaning of this?
44:44Eh?
44:44There is a cat close at hand. It is not in the street.
44:49Look, I have not got a cat, I tell you.
44:51All right, I'll get Jeeves in here.
44:56There.
44:58I can't bear it. I simply can't bear it.
45:01No, look, it must be Jeeves.
45:03Jeeves?
45:04You called, sir?
45:07Were you making a noise like a cat?
45:09No, sir. Will that be all, sir?
45:12No, it will jolly well not be all, Jeeves. Are there any cats in the flat?
45:17Only the three in your bedroom, sir.
45:20What do you mean, only the three in my bedroom?
45:22Er, the black one, sir, the tabby and the small lemon-coloured animal.
45:28No, no, no, look, I have not got a cat.
45:30I have never had a cat. I had a dog once called Melbourne.
45:33He's used to sit so close to the fire. No, no, don't run away.
45:36No, no.
45:38It's all right, my dear.
45:39Now, look. Now, stand back, sir. Stand back. I'm armed.
45:42I fancy so that the animals might have become somewhat exhilarated
45:46as a result of discovering the fish in Mr. Worcester's bedroom.
45:49Fish? In his bedroom?
45:50Fish?
45:51Be brave, Delia.
45:52My coat, sir.
45:54Now, look, I'll prove it to you. I'll prove that there are no cats in my bedroom.
46:01Oh, no!
46:02Oh, no!
46:03Oh!
46:04Oh!
46:05Oh!
46:05I knew it! I knew it!
46:06I knew it!
46:06You're out of your turn, sir!
46:07Oh!
46:09Oh!
46:10Your hat, Sir Roderick.
46:12Yes, I didn't have a hat.
46:14This is the hat that was snatched from my head.
46:17He did it, Roderick!
46:18He stole your hat!
46:21Back slowly towards the door, Celia.
46:23Don't make any sudden movements or do anything that might excite him.
46:27Now, look here.
46:28Back, sir! Back, you devil! Back, I say! Back, back, back!
46:32I'll see if I can recover our umbrellas.
46:46I say, those weren't my cats I saw legging it down the stairs, were they?
46:50And what were they doing in my bedroom?
46:52Your man, what's-his-name, said it would be all right.
46:55Oh, he did, did he?
46:56I was just coming to collect them.
46:58Well, they've dashed well gone.
47:00Oh, well. Can't be helped, I suppose.
47:03What was it for? It was that club, was it? The searchers?
47:05Seekers, yes.
47:06I'll take the hat from the fish, anyway.
47:09I'm afraid the cats have eaten the fish.
47:12They wouldn't eat a hat, though.
47:14No, the chap you pinched it from was dining here tonight. He took it away with him.
47:18No cats, no fish, no hat.
47:21Well, sorry, but there you are.
47:24Well, thank you.
47:26Bye.
47:26Goodbye.
47:29I say, I hate to ask you, but you couldn't lend me a tenner, could you?
47:33A tenner? What for?
47:34Well, the fact is, I've got to pop round and bail Claude and Eustace out.
47:37They've been arrested.
47:38Arrested?
47:39They got a bit above themselves, I'm afraid.
47:41Tried to pinch a bus.
47:43And they expect me to provide ten pounds to bail them out?
47:46Well, they did rather, yes.
47:48You do realise that the people who are dining here tonight were my prospective in-laws?
47:52No, I didn't, actually. Congratulations.
47:55Well, because of you, they've now gone away from here believing me to be a certifiable lunatic
47:59and determined that I shall never marry their daughter.
48:07Oh. Rightfully sorry.
48:09Tell you what, why don't we make it twenty pounds?
48:11You can bail them out and buy them a drink before you pour them onto the train.
48:13I say, that's jolly geesey.
48:16No, don't say a word.
48:17No.
48:17No, really.
48:18I insist.
48:19Thank you very much.
48:44Thank you very much.
48:46I'm sorry.
48:47Thank you very much.
48:49Thank you very much.
48:49Let me, thank you very much.
48:51Well, if you'll pardon the liberty, sir, I doubt if the young lady would have been entirely suitable for you.
49:04And what a wheeze, you knowing all about the Glossop's horror of moggies.
49:07I must say, Jeeves, you are a bit of a marvel.
49:10Very good of you to say, sir, sir.
49:15Will that be all, sir?
49:17Ah, yes, thank you, Jeeves, yes.
49:19Breakfast at the usual hour, sir?
49:22Yes, thank you, Jeeves.
49:23Good night.
49:26Good night, sir.
49:48Good night.
49:50Good night.
49:58Good night.
50:03Good night.
50:06Good night.
50:09Good night.
50:09Good night.
50:10Good night.
50:11Good night.
50:12Good night.
50:12Good night.
50:13Good night.
50:13Good night.
50:15Good night.
50:16Good night.
50:17Good night.
50:17Good night.
50:18Good night.
50:18Good night.
Comments