- 16 hours ago
Comedian Josh Johnson visits WIRED to answer his most searched questions on Google. Who is Josh Johnson’s favorite comedian? Can Josh Johnson draw? Can Josh Johnson solve a Rubik’s Cube? Answers to these questions and many more await on Josh Johnson’s WIRED Autocomplete Interview.
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00:00I'm Josh Johnson, and this is the Wired Autocomplete Interview.
00:06How did Josh Johnson... It's weird to say your name a lot.
00:13All right. Who is Josh Johnson's favorite comedian? Some of the top, I think, ever are
00:21obviously like Carlin and Pryor. I really enjoy Wanda Sykes. I think that she's incredible.
00:28And I really like... Hmm, should have thought about this more. Feels like an obvious question.
00:37I really like Bill Burr's stuff, and I really enjoy... Basically, if you had a Comedy Central
00:45half hour in the early aughts, I watched it, and I'm sure I loved it. Who is Josh Johnson's uncle?
00:52Yeah, my uncle, he's a lot. Great dude, but he's got a lot of issues. I like hanging out with
01:01him
01:01when I get the chance, which is rare, because he always offers up some new perspective that
01:07probably no one else has. And I mean that in both a good way, and he will say some of
01:13the most insane
01:14things I've ever heard. Not to harp on it, but he legit one time was like, these people, everybody
01:20over here believing in kangaroos. And I'm like, you know when someone says something, you're like,
01:25what? Because you're sure you didn't hear it right. They're like, yeah, everybody over here believing
01:29in kangaroos. I was like, what do you... You don't think kangaroos are real? And he was like, come on.
01:34And I was like, what do you mean? Come on. And he's like, have you ever seen one? And at
01:38the time,
01:39I hadn't. And so it was very frustrating to have to admit that I had never seen one in person.
01:44But it doesn't make you right. Like, just because I haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
01:48And then I was like, who was making money off of people believing in kangaroo? Like,
01:55if you have a big conspiracy theory, there's usually money behind it. And so I was like,
01:59who benefits from this? And then he's over here like, I bet them zoos making a pretty penny.
02:04I was like, all right. All right. You're out of your mind. Who does Josh Johnson look like? Man,
02:12this one. Whenever you get to this type of question, this thing, you can really get your
02:17feelings hurt real bad. I've been told I look like a lot of people where I saw no resemblance at
02:24all.
02:24And this is usually, if I'm being honest, by white people who only know me. Then they're like,
02:31wow, you look just like Kobe. And I'm like, in what in what way? How? There's no way. But I
02:37have
02:38been told I look like the nicest way I can put it is a less affluent ASAP Rocky. Like I
02:44don't I don't
02:45have the money or the Rihanna or the height. But apparently, I think it's just literally that both
02:52of us have a twist that hangs down. And this is just because it's short. It's like it's too short
02:57to
02:57go up. I'm not trying to look like ASAP Rocky. Sometimes I wish I look like ASAP Rocky. He looks
03:02very good all the time. You can't throw all of them hard because I feel like eventually I'm going
03:10to hit something important. Can Josh Johnson sing? Nah, I can like hum and I'm nasty with a kazoo.
03:22All right. You get you get a kazoo where you get me going and give me give me the tune.
03:27I'll hit
03:28the kazoo like you like you wouldn't believe. Can Josh Johnson draw? Let's find out. Let's let's
03:34see. You know, art is relative. I'll let you be the judge. OK, give me OK. OK, let me draw
03:41on the back
03:41of this. OK. All right. Hmm. Get ready. What do you think of this? That's real motion. Guess who
03:55it is. If you can guess who it is, that that's going to determine whether or not I could draw.
03:59Do you know who this is? No, nobody. Nobody knows. As soon as I say his name, you'll recognize
04:05the name. It's Batman. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's Batman. Yeah. He always brood. Look at him. Come on,
04:12that's Batman. Y'all know Batman when you see him brooding, strong, silent type, you know,
04:18clenching his jaw because there's crime afoot. You know, there's some people who live in low
04:24income housing to beat up. All right. They think they get away with this crime. Not today. Can you
04:30guess which Batman? Christian Bale. Thank you. Thank you. George Clooney. You don't see those
04:40cheekbones. Thank you. Appreciate you. Glad we cleared it up. Can Josh Johnson do improv? What
04:48do you think I've been doing? We don't I didn't even know that I was supposed to hold it like
04:52this.
04:53All right. I showed up very ill prepared. I've watched like two of these in preparation and I wasn't sure
04:59if they were going to have me do the same things that the other people did do. So I'm very
05:04thankful
05:04that they had me on. But oh, I have been fighting this entire time to think of something funny for
05:11every minute that I've been on camera to make up for the fact that I am not prepared. Can Josh
05:16Johnson
05:18speak Spanish? No habla English. That is about where it stops though.
05:25Josh Johnson, Zoran Mamdani. One thing I like about Zoran Mamdani, he'll tell in a second,
05:31you know, when James Dole was over here canceling the the Knicks watch party because they had canceled
05:36the other Knicks watch party and James Dole was clearly trying to not make it look like they
05:41canceled it because Trump was coming. So he was like, let me just cancel an extra one just so that
05:45nobody blames my boy. Right. Zoran was like, hey, all you got to do is fill out the paperwork. We
05:50already
05:50approved the paperwork. He canceled it anyway. That's the type of snitch that I like. That's
05:54like that's the hey, y'all don't like him already. I got more reasons. I got like with Zoran tell
06:01on
06:01you, he tell you like a real hater, you know, Josh Johnson, Drake versus Kendrick. Let me start by
06:07saying neither one of these men know I'm alive. So it's not like I, you know what I mean? Like
06:12some people get so like invested. They're just like they're like it's in their heart where they're
06:19like, you know, I'll be Graham is the greatest. And it's like, all right, if you think that that's
06:24that's fine. But I just I I remember this rap battle being like such an epic moment. I remember
06:31the night that Kendrick dropped right after Drake, like Drake dropped Family Matters and then Kendrick
06:38dropped Meet the Grams. And it was it was insane to watch the people's faces when they shot their
06:44reaction videos or if you were just with friends and you listen to both because Drake did his thing.
06:49Drake was over here and he had you like kind of bouncing to everything that he was saying and
06:54he had like a good flow and everything. And then when Kendrick finished, you were like, oh,
06:59I hope Drake doesn't kill himself. Jameena was like very bad. And then he did the Super Bowl.
07:04Then Kendrick did the Super Bowl. And then he did not like us at the Super Bowl. And then at
07:08the end,
07:09it said game over. And you're like, now I see why Drake left the country. Josh Johnson,
07:14Rubik's Cube. I enjoy them. It's like a meditative thing. I have fun trying to solve it.
07:19I actually have a cube here if you're interested in watching.
07:23Do you have a personal best? Do you time it?
07:24I have timed it, but then I hurt my own feelings. You can time it if you want,
07:29but just know I'm doing this for fun. What is your personal best?
07:35Last is 49 seconds. Yeah. Okay. Right.
07:45Damn. I'm impressed. 50 seconds.
07:51Oh, thanks. Oh, sweet. Yeah. Good time. These things are great. How does Josh Johnson
07:59write so much? Mainly, I don't do anything else. This is like the thing that I like to do the
08:06most
08:06is writing. And I'm a bit obsessive about how I can get better, just be better in general. I think
08:12that for the most part, I make a daily practice out of writing. And then I put all the daily
08:21writing
08:21together. I perform it on the weekend. And then I put out a video that is that performance. But I
08:28think it's mostly about having something to say about the things that you're interested in.
08:32The news is going to do whatever the news is going to do. And I understand that we all have
08:36fatigue with politics sometimes. And so I actually like to talk about everything. Some people think
08:41I just talk about politics. Some people think I just talk about hip hop. Some people think I just
08:44talk about pop culture and stuff when really I'm making an aim to talk about everything all the
08:51time. Where did Josh Johnson get his start? So he started in Chicago and was just doing open mics and
09:00meeting people and stuff like that. That's where I really began doing any form of standup. I did my
09:07high school talent show, but I don't think you can really count that. How did Josh Johnson get into
09:13comedy? You know, the thing about comedy is you can just start. No one's going to stop you, even if
09:19they should. No one's going to tell you don't. Or even if they tell you don't, you have to listen.
09:25It is one of the lowest barrier to entry professions that exists. Where did Josh Johnson grow up? I grew
09:33up
09:34in Alexandria, Louisiana, and it is in the middle of the state. And somehow no one has heard of it.
09:41And then they lose all interest. They move on to the next question. So that's what I'm going to do
09:45right now. What does Josh Johnson do for fun? I like to watch MMA. I think it's really interesting.
09:53I like watching people test their skills against other skilled people. I also watch a lot of cartoons.
09:59Some would say that I see in cartoons, you know, like I like when I look out at the world,
10:05I see like a very colorful sort of like cartoon world. I think it's one from my love of video
10:12games
10:12and then comic books and then cartoons. So when you see me, when I see you out in the street
10:18and you
10:19see me, know that I'm looking at a very animated version of you, you know, bright colors, maybe a
10:24little rain cloud over your head, depending on your mood. There's a lot going on. Okay.
10:32Okay. My bad. Okay. Let's see. Whenever there's one, like whenever it's just your name like this,
10:38it seems like whatever I'm about to pull is going to hurt. Do you know what I mean? Just
10:42Josh Johnson. You know what I mean? And then you pull it and it's like sucks. You know, Josh Johnson
10:48before Google. Oh, you don't want to meet me. You don't want to meet me before Google because
10:52honestly, I was that kid that asked why for everything over and over again. Like that was me when I
10:58was
10:58really little. I'd be like, why, why, why, why? And then as soon as, as I discovered Google,
11:06my mom got so much relief because then I was just typing into Google. Why, why, why you go deeper.
11:13You can go forever. Josh Johnson, crowd work. When I see someone in the audience, I still try to focus
11:22mostly on the thing that I wrote that I set up to deliver and everything. But if someone is like
11:28looking like they're not from this planet and they are within like my sightline, which is not much,
11:35you got to sit in the very front for me to see you. Not just because the lights, my eyes
11:40also
11:40aren't the best. And so I think in that scenario, sometimes I will get distracted enough to ask
11:46what happened. Josh Johnson quotes. A timeless quote from me right now that you'll never forget
11:53that I have had to say many times is when people have walked up to me on the street and,
11:57and told me
11:58that they loved my work. And then they described me to me. And then I had to say, that's not
12:04me.
12:04That's actually happened often. Enough to hurt my feelings. All right. I'm going to give this a throw.
12:12What is Josh Johnson's comedy band camp? So this is the new tour. I'm very excited for people to see
12:19it.
12:19We're going to have music, going to have dancing, going to have comedy. And one of the other features
12:25that I'm really excited about is for everybody to meet everybody else coming to the show. So we have
12:29a personality quiz that you can take and then you'll find out what troop you're in. And then you can
12:34meet
12:34people from your troop. We're going to be doing special things throughout the tour that build out
12:39the world for each one of these troops. So I plan to have games and different meetups and special
12:45work specifically for those troops. So take the personality test. You can take it at joshjohnsoncomedy.com
12:52and we'll also have people able to take it at the show. Even if you want to take it right
12:57up until
12:58the show starts and find out what troop you're in. What blank Josh Johnson blank. This could be bad.
13:05This could actually, this almost feels like an insult. Like it feels like a Mad Lib. I don't know if
13:11you
13:11remember Mad Libs, but it feels like one of those Mad Libs where it's like you end up insulting
13:15yourself. Okay. What kind of hoodie does Josh Johnson wear? That was better than I thought it
13:22would be. Honestly, I was tensed up for a second. I thought this was going to be like a revealing
13:28personal truth or a nasty read on me as a person. So the hoodies that I wear very much vary.
13:36I will
13:37usually what started out when I started wearing gray hoodies is I get them from vintage stores,
13:44like thrift shops and stuff like that. But then as I started wearing them more and becoming known for
13:49them, I really started to get them as gifts, which is a very nice way of saying that you forgot
13:56my
13:56birthday because now I have like 22. What does Josh Johnson have in his pocket? So right now in my
14:04pocket,
14:05in my right pocket, I have my wallet. There's a bit of a, of a bulge there. And I can
14:09assure you
14:10that's not cash. I have lots of coupons. I have a couple of cards. I keep people's business cards in
14:17there in case I'm ever in a pinch. I don't know if you remember that scene from Fight Club where
14:21he had
14:22like Tyler's card. So he called Tyler. That's the type of thing that I hope I never have to do.
14:29If you give
14:29me your business card, I hope I never call you in dire straits, but you need to know if you
14:32give me your
14:33business card. Not only will I keep it, but I may call you when I need a ride, when I
14:37have an
14:38emergency. If I really have nobody to talk to and I got your card, that's a number I can call.
14:43What is Josh Johnson favorite cereal? Not to sound like a, a fair weather fan or anything,
14:50but I am not big on cereal mainly because when I was little, a lot of the cereals that we
14:57ate
14:57were not the name brand cereal all the time. So I got a lot of, uh, they weren't Fruit Loops.
15:04They were circles. Do y'all remember circles? It was like circles. Yeah. Hardcore off-brand,
15:10just circles. If you didn't have circles, congratulations on having a pretty stable
15:15income via your parents. So we made it through all the boards and I want to say thank you for
15:22one, being interested in me at all. That's very nice of you. You could be Googling anything.
15:27There's a lot that we don't know, but you looked me up. And so thank you so much. And thanks
15:33for
15:33asking some really great questions. I hope you enjoyed this and, uh, me, and I hope to see you
15:39soon on the Comedy Bandcamp tour or just in life.
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