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01:44To quote our greatest American songwriter Taylor Swift, welcome to New York
01:50More specifically just west of Hell's Kitchen also known as Hell's Toilet
01:55So welcome to that
01:56During this trip we will be taking tours as big groups but today we have a few exceptions Mr. Shapiro
02:03First off our very own Eleanor Wong has her audition at Juilliard
02:09Happy to respect your process
02:12Also Ben Gross your father has organized a private tour of Columbia
02:17Oh it's his client Jerry Seinfeld has a nephew who goes there
02:21You know we are taking the entire group to Columbia later this week
02:25No thanks
02:26Okay and uh Davey you also have a special trip planned to
02:30Princeton sweeties don't hate me cause ya ain't me
02:34That's not why everyone hates you
02:35Okay hush you're just jealous that you're hanging out with some nepotism nerd
02:38While I'm spending the night with Sherman Oaks icon Blair Kwan
02:41When Davey was a freshman Blair Kwan was the top senior student at Sherman Oaks High
02:46Not only was she valedictorian but she had been an extracurricular beast
02:51Who had gotten into Princeton early
02:53All right people there better not be any typos in this week's issue
02:55I do not accept anything less than perfection
02:58If you can't handle the pressure then go back to your book
03:00Davey was determined to follow in her smart as hell footsteps
03:04Well later losers I have a date with destiny in the garden state
03:08Oh that reminds me Fabiola shouldn't you accompany Davey to Princeton since
03:12She needs protection on the train
03:14I'm actually not very strong people confuse my tallness for muscle but
03:18My bones are basically just crackers
03:21Are we done? I know some people are itching to see what a suburb looks like
03:24But I have to take the number one train uptown the 116th street
03:27I mean it's very complicated
03:29Okay Google Maps no one gives a shit
03:30Catted you two
03:31All right let's all head out
03:33All right everyone NYU this way
03:34Yeah so as you can see despite Davey having saved his ass at the college fair
03:39These two are definitely not made up
03:46Oh great I got you
03:48I was hoping to talk to you about something
03:50Oh of course what is it?
03:52So you know how Pati abandoned me after my eye surgery and went to the grocery store
03:55Yes and she got on the 210 going the wrong way and ended up in Joshua Tree
03:58Right yeah
04:01Well I'm pretty sure that Len brought a woman into the house while I was napping
04:05What?
04:05Yeah I could have sworn I heard her voice
04:07What did she sound like?
04:09I want to say Kylie Minogue
04:12Hmm
04:14Kamala you had a lot of Valium that day you think you might be mistaken
04:18I guess so
04:20I did also think that I saw a penguin sitting next to me at one point
04:23Yep it was probably the narcotics
04:25Correct
04:26Okay now I need to head to work so I can get home right away
04:29This weekend I have a house to myself for the first time in 17 years and it is going to
04:34be amazing
04:37Something funny?
04:39No just good luck with that
04:41It's hard to be alone when you're not used to it
04:44Doesn't sound hard to me
04:46I once lost my hearing in a soul cycle class best Saturday of my entire life
04:50Okay bye bye everyone
04:57Holy shit Princeton is so beautiful
05:00It's basically a bunch of Downton Abbey sitting next to one another
05:03So what are you guys up to?
05:04Oh we're at Julliard
05:05I'm giving out her space so she can prepare
05:07She is about round how
05:11Halfway through her vocal exercises
05:12Sure sure fair enough
05:15Davey?
05:16There she was the myth the legend Blair Kwan
05:20Blair hi
05:22Bap I gotta go
05:23Hi
05:24I am so excited to see my mini me
05:27Whoa Davey she just said you guys were alike
05:30So um I already checked into admissions said we're up to Akshara
05:33So what should we do next?
05:35Maybe we could do a tour or we could go to one of your classes
05:37Why don't we get to all that boring stuff later and start with something fun first
05:42Welcome to the Armstrong Inn
05:44It's the eating club I belong to
05:46Why don't we go put your stuff down and I'll show you around
05:49And then we can hit up a class after
05:50Holy shit Davey
05:52A members only club in a historic ass mansion?
05:55Who are you?
05:56The horse loving daughter of a tech billionaire?
06:01She wakes
06:03Great job
06:05Nice to be done you're back
06:07Thank you again
06:11Eleanor Wong?
06:13Hi yes that's me
06:21So Fabiola you want to tell me why you were so weird about visiting princeton with Davey?
06:26Was I weird?
06:27I distinctly remember being very chill
06:30Have you not told Davey that you've applied?
06:32You know you have to right?
06:33Well I thought I'd just wait until she gets in and then it would be like surprise
06:37You were physically on the east coast right now
06:40You need to go to that school
06:42But I'm not even sure I should have applied there
06:44And have you seen Davey when she gets upset?
06:47She makes the Hulk look like Kermit
06:49Oh I'm aware of your friend's temper
06:51That's why I have a helmet in my office
06:52But you need to prioritize yourself
06:54And go see if that school is right for you
06:58You have never known what happiness was
07:02But wait uncle Vanya
07:05Please wait
07:08We shall rest
07:10We shall rest we shall rest
07:18And scene
07:19Well thank you Miss Wong
07:21We appreciate you coming in today
07:24Oh of course
07:29Um so you guys didn't clap
07:33Excuse me?
07:34I heard you clap for the other guy before the kid who did Othello
07:38Oh well every performance is different
07:44I don't have a chance do I?
07:46Miss Wong I assure you we have not made any decisions yet
07:49But you have though right
07:51You can give it to me straight I can take it
07:55If I'm being honest
07:57I'm not sure Juliard is the right place for you
08:00But there are so many ways to be an actor
08:02Look at Flo from Progressive
08:04I bet she's got a second home
08:06Oh
08:08I promise you will find your path
08:13Thank you
08:24Hey everyone this is Ben
08:26He's applying early and wants to see what life is like here
08:29So don't embarrass me
08:30Can't make any promises
08:32Well hey we were just talking about that article in the Atlantic
08:35On uh dark money lobby regulations
08:37You guys want to sit?
08:39In high school Ben's social circle had included zero friends and one nemesis
08:44He was hoping college would change that
08:46Yeah I mean it's a complete farce
08:48Basically big oil is writing all of our laws at this point
08:52Totally it does seem like a lot of automakers are turning to electric though so
08:56That's good
08:56Well Ben you do know that electric cars are just as bad right?
08:59I mean heavy metal mining is a serious human rights issue
09:01Plus without a clean grid what's even the point?
09:03Right right yeah
09:04I just mean hopefully one day we can just like run cars on corn
09:09Yeah come on Ben we certainly don't want to incentivize monoculture farming
09:13Any more than we already do
09:14No no of course not
09:17Do you guys want to order some food?
09:19Ben you're our guest what are you in the mood for?
09:23Poot?
09:26Um I just want something that's sustainably sourced
09:29Carbon neutral and preferably delivered by someone who's paid a living wage
09:32Dude relax
09:34Um are we feeling pizza?
09:36Yeah pizza's good
09:39Oh my god Davy you are gonna love college
09:41Back home my mom is always on my ass to study and she never let me talk to boys
09:45But here believe me a girl's doing more than just talking to boys
09:49Whoa that's the coolest freaking thing I've ever heard
09:52Yeah it's awesome no strict moms cramping your style throwing away any thongs she finds in the laundry
09:58My mom did that too I lied to her and told her it was one of my headbands and then
10:02she made me wear one to olive garden
10:04Oh my dining clubs party is starting what do you say shall we
10:08Oh hell yeah
10:10Davy was in awe the blair she knew in high school had skipped prom to practice extra declensions for ap
10:16latin
10:17Hey guys how we doing how's everything going over here oh my god
10:22And now look at her she was mixing and mingling even more than jingle bell rock
10:26Y'all look good let's party
10:31All right who wants shots
10:38I freaking love my future life
10:44I'm ho-
10:52I'm ho-
10:53Sweet silence
10:54Silence
11:02Ah
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15:10Vậy sao?
15:13Tôi nói hả, nếu anh vôi tình để lại các học tập bởi và các học tập bằng,
15:17hình sẽ không để lại các học tập bởi.
15:18Nhưng mà bạn là người mình biết rồi.
15:21Cứ không phải đi học tập bởi và trở lại để làm việc chứ?
15:25Chứ không biết, Baby, mình bị rất khỏe trước khi học tập.
15:28Tôi biết rằng, khi làm một số sau cổ tập bởi,
15:32và bắt đầu tập tập bởi xưa để ra học như thế này.
15:36Sau khi nào đó anh đến, có chứ gì?
15:39Ừ theology không phải là thôi
15:39but you're certainly not gonna be the top anymore
15:41and you don't have your mom here to badger you
15:44it's easy to get lost
15:46What the hell?
15:47The hardest part about college isn't the schoolwork
15:50it's being on your own and not knowing who the hell you are
15:55So how are you doing now?
15:57I'm okay
15:58I'm just trying to figure myself out
16:00before I decide what to do next
16:04Wait, hang on a sec
16:06where was I gonna sleep tonight?
16:07I re-decorated my apartment to look like a dorm room
16:09and I paid my 50-year-old neighbor to wear a backwards hat
16:12and ride around on a skateboard.
16:14Nice.
16:18Uh, do you mind waiting here for a second?
16:20I really need to beg for my job back.
16:22Yeah, for sure.
16:23Go get him, Tiger.
16:24Or, uh, former Tiger.
16:27Davey was shaken by this revelation from her idol.
16:30If Perfect Blair couldn't hack it at college,
16:32then what chance did she have?
16:34It also reminded her that maybe she underestimated
16:37how hard the transition to college might be.
16:40Davey, is this a butt dial?
16:41No, I'm looking straight at you.
16:44Aren't you on a trip?
16:45Okay, stop asking questions.
16:47Sorry, go on.
16:48I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about giving you a hard time about ASU.
16:53Oh, uh, I mean, it's not right?
16:56No, no, I was being a judgy brat
16:59and I didn't know what the hell I was talking about.
17:01Oh, thanks, Davey, I appreciate that.
17:05Also, it's pretty nice to get to see your face around school again.
17:10It's nice seeing you, too.
17:13Is everything all right out there?
17:15Yeah, totally.
17:16It's just...
17:18Things are a little different than what I thought they'd be here.
17:21Yeah.
17:22That's, um, kinda how I felt about college, too.
17:25Bro, what did I say about having your phone out at Best Bro's Dinner?
17:29Every Saturday and Sunday, you're mine.
17:31Coming.
17:32So, I guess you gotta go?
17:33Yeah, I'm in trouble.
17:35But, um, thank you for the call.
17:37Uh, let's chillin' to get back.
17:39Okay.
17:39Bye, Paxton.
17:41Oh, my God, guys!
17:42Look, there's Davey!
17:43See?
17:43Yay!
17:44We're at the right spot!
17:46What are you guys doing here?
17:48We're here to see you!
17:49Aw, that's really nice.
17:51Can you take us to some alcohol, please?
17:53Well, I could, but, uh...
17:55Wait, how come you're sitting outside the party with your suitcase?
17:57Did you get kicked out from being a loser?
17:59Okay, bye.
18:00Davey!
18:00I'm back!
18:01Come on in.
18:02Great!
18:02Uh, could I bring some friends?
18:04Oh, hey, guys!
18:05Come!
18:05Yeah!
18:09So, what were you gonna do if I hadn't showed up?
18:12Oh, I was dangerously close to disassembling the dishwasher so I could de-clean it.
18:16That's dark.
18:17I guess you were right.
18:18Being home alone is harder than I thought.
18:21Oh, my goodness, when Davey goes to college next year, what am I gonna do with myself?
18:25I get it.
18:26Margot went to our camp one summer, and I was so desperate to fill the time, I built a pool
18:30house.
18:31We don't have a pool.
18:32Oh, that's a good one.
18:35I always imagined I would spend this time with Mohan.
18:39I thought we would take on some empty-nester hobbies, you know?
18:42Like building a birdhouse.
18:45Sure.
18:46Although Mohan hated crafts, so not that.
18:48How can anybody hate crafts?
18:50He used to say it was a poor substitute for a personality.
18:53That is a very harsh indictment of the crafting world.
18:56I thought so.
18:59Listen, I know you didn't plan to do this on your own.
19:02I certainly didn't either, but we're gonna get through this.
19:07And if you're at all interested in buying a recumbent bike, I kinda feel like that's where I'm probably headed.
19:13No.
19:14No, no, no.
19:15Andres, absolutely not.
19:16That is way too sad, dad.
19:18I'm actually gonna make a pot of tea, and when I come back, we are going to think about more
19:22dignified hobbies for your old age.
19:27So what brings you to the boring ass burps?
19:30Just morbid curiosity.
19:31Real cool, bro.
19:33Alright.
19:33I'm gonna do a lap.
19:36Alright, Al.
19:37Here's your Sazerac.
19:38Now tell us what happened today.
19:39Did something happen today?
19:42The Juilliard people said I was bad at acting.
19:45They said I sucked.
19:47What?
19:48How dare they?
19:49You're an amazing actor.
19:50You have to say that because you're my friends.
19:52No.
19:53We would never lie to you.
19:54Right.
19:55We don't lie to each other.
19:56Unless it's, you know, like, an emergency.
19:59I just don't know what I'm supposed to do if I can't act.
20:03Maybe puppeteer?
20:04Elle.
20:05You can't let some snooty douches take away the thing that you love.
20:08Yeah.
20:09You have to be an actor.
20:10Thanks, guys.
20:12You and this absinthe-based drink are raising my spirits.
20:16Now can we just dance?
20:18Yeah!
20:19Yeah!
20:20Woo!
20:34Hey, high school.
20:36Come dance with me.
20:37No, thanks.
20:38I'm just trying to hang out with my girls.
20:39Come on.
20:40Dude, come on.
20:41Just let me go.
20:42Stop.
20:43Hey, Absa, get off of her.
20:46You okay?
20:47I just want you, I just want your love.
20:55Hey.
20:57How was your face?
20:59It's okay.
21:00Does it look kind of cool?
21:02Yeah.
21:03Maybe just keep the ice pack on it, though?
21:08Wow.
21:09This might make me sound like a baby, but college is way scarier than I thought it would be.
21:15Because of that dickhead?
21:17Just keep some pepper spray handy when you get here.
21:19Okay, yeah, partially because of him, but also...
21:23Did you know that Blair failed out?
21:25Really?
21:26That sucks.
21:28Are you really close enough to her to be this sad about it?
21:31Ben, Blair and I are basically the same person.
21:33If she imploded, then I...
21:34You think you will, too?
21:36Nah, you won't.
21:37How do you know that?
21:38I'm not known for being the most stable person around.
21:41Look, Davey, I know that you idolize Blair and you think you're so similar, but you are literally nothing alike.
21:46I mean, she was much more perfect than you when she was in high school.
21:49How dare you?
21:50That was her problem.
21:51She made zero mistakes and had no fun.
21:54She was a total powder keg.
21:56You have made many mistakes and you go to parties and you met boyfriends.
22:01You know, some are better than others.
22:04Davey, you know who you are.
22:06You really think so?
22:08Yeah.
22:08I do.
22:10It's just...
22:11For as long as I can remember, my main goal has been to go to Princeton.
22:15Like, that's it.
22:17But...
22:17I never thought about what life would be like after I got in.
22:21Yeah.
22:21I know what you mean.
22:23You know how I was all excited to go to Columbia and be with my people?
22:28Well, turns out I'm too stupid to go there.
22:32What are you saying? That's not true.
22:34Yeah, these kids knew so much about the world and they read articles from magazines that I've never even heard
22:39of.
22:39A couple of times, I even had to look up some big words on my phone.
22:43Okay.
22:43So what?
22:44You can read an article too.
22:46They're probably just regurgitating words that they've read before because they're insecure too.
22:50Yeah, maybe.
22:52Yeah, definitely.
22:53Ben, this is a game you can win.
22:56You're the biggest bullshitter I've ever met.
22:58Thank you, David.
22:59I feel oddly inspired.
23:07Hey.
23:09Um...
23:10I really hated it when you weren't talking to me.
23:13Yeah.
23:14I'm so sorry about that.
23:17I was trying to...
23:17You don't have to explain.
23:18I get it.
23:19I just...
23:22I wanna be friends.
23:24Yeah.
23:25I can be your friend.
23:28Got your back, baby.
23:30Yeah, sorry we took forever.
23:32Fab got into a conversation with some students about how many Nobel Prize winners are on faculty.
23:37Well, the good news is Seth was asked to leave.
23:41But the bad news is he told everyone you're underage, so you're not allowed back in.
23:45That's okay.
23:46I mean, we shouldn't head back anyway.
23:47I'm sorry.
23:48This trip wasn't what you were hoping for.
23:51Actually, it's exactly what I needed.
23:54See you later, mini-me.
23:57Bye, guys.
23:58Bye.
23:58Okay.
23:59Should we head to the train?
24:01Don't bother.
24:01We have rented a van.
24:03So, at intermission, when I went to get this beautiful shirt and matching briefs, I took out my Android to
24:09pay with Windows bucks, and I noticed an alarming number of text messages from your classmates.
24:14And now I have to hang an unsigned poster in my office and never get a chance to touch Aaron
24:22Tevez's bare hand.
24:23Ugh.
24:23We can explain.
24:24The trip is canceled.
24:26We all fly home tomorrow morning.
24:28And don't even think about asking to pull over for bagels on the way to the airport.
24:46So your nest doesn't feel quite as empty.
24:54Don't blame me for cutting the trip short.
24:56You can spend the six-hour plane ride thanking the boxcar children who stole away to New Jersey.
25:01I really wanted to visit Parsons.
25:02My passion is graphic design.
25:05Hey!
25:05Don't throw loose nuts at me.
25:06I could have an allergy.
25:07Even though a dozen students on this plane were cursing Davey and her friends right now, she was feeling good.
25:13She had fixed her relationship with Ben and was hopeful again about her future at Princeton.
25:17Well, hey, Fab. I'm really sorry you didn't get to see Yale.
25:21Oh, right. It's okay. I could just take a virtual tour.
25:25Yeah, definitely nothing weird bound to happen here.
26:22Go to bed.
26:25All right.
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