- 18 minutes ago
He Missed My Surgery for Her Hot
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00:00The moment the scalpel sliced into my left eye, my husband, Darian Blackwood, was tangled up in bed with his
00:07mistress.
00:09When I woke from general anesthesia, the first thing I did was open my chat with Darian.
00:14Darian, tomorrow night's the full moon. My curse is going to flare up again.
00:19The doctor said the success rate this time is only one in three.
00:22If I wake up and you're not there, then we're over.
00:25The messages had been sent a day ago. He still hadn't replied.
00:30Then an anonymous message popped up.
00:32A video. He was roughly pulling open his mistress's nightgown straps, kissing drunkenly along her neck.
00:40The bedside clock showed the exact time I'd been in surgery the night before.
00:44In the video, he looked so passionate.
00:48But in our chat history, every reply he ever sent me was cold.
00:52I'm busy. Get my assistant to sign the papers.
00:56I'm in a board meeting. You don't need to tell me these things anymore.
01:00Eventually, he muted my messages altogether and assigned me a private assistant.
01:04Someone who's only was signing documents that required a partner's authorization.
01:08Sorry, but I don't think he'll have time to visit you today either.
01:11I stared blankly at that message.
01:13And finally decided to give up on this relationship.
01:16I texted the assistant.
01:19Don't come anymore.
01:20Then I called my lawyer.
01:22Draft a separation agreement for me.
01:26As the anesthesia wore off, my skull started throobing with pain.
01:30I couldn't even close my eyes.
01:31When this curse flared up, I might lose my left eye completely.
01:37Half conscious, I wondered.
01:39If I died on that operating table this time, when would Darian find out?
01:45Probably when they called him to identify my body.
01:48After all, his time and attention would never belong to a beta like me.
01:52Someone without pheromones.
01:54That evening, the isolation room door opened.
01:57Darian walked in, carrying a thermos bag and a gift bag.
02:00How are you feeling?
02:01I'm okay.
02:02That's good.
02:08Brought you soup.
02:10I'm allergic to seafood.
02:12The one who lucked seafood was his mistress, Luna.
02:14Then had taken the gift bag.
02:17Sorry I couldn't stay with you last night.
02:19This is to make up for it.
02:20Inside was a delicate hair clip.
02:23He didn't care about anything related to me.
02:26He didn't even know that after multiple serenial surgeries, I'd shaved my head long ago.
02:32Luna got sunburned at the beach, so I brought her to the hospital to get checked.
02:36As he spoke, he poured me a bowl of soup.
02:39She got burned pretty badly.
02:41Her whole back's red.
02:44I said nothing.
02:45Why aren't you drinking it?
02:47He leaned closer, and I caught the heavy, sugary scent of perfume.
02:51I ignored the question.
02:52You changed cologne?
02:54He paused, then smiled.
02:57Luna recommended it.
02:59Smells nice, doesn't it?
03:02If you like it, I'll have her bring you some.
03:05After all these years, he should have known that as a scentless beta, I hated anything that masks natural scent.
03:11But nothing about me had ever mattered to him.
03:14The isolation room fell silent for a few seconds.
03:17Then his phone notification broke the quiet.
03:20Oh, right.
03:21The assistant said you told him not to come anymore?
03:23He won't need to sign anything for me anymore.
03:25Hmm.
03:25As long as you're getting better.
03:27Softly, I said.
03:28I'm not.
03:29The curse is getting worse.
03:31I may need permanent isolation at any time.
03:38Do you still want this relationship?
03:40Darian, look at this video.
03:41It's so funny.
03:43He muted the volume and finally looked at me.
03:47What did you say?
03:49The machines kept beeping steadily.
03:52You went to the Hamptons this time?
03:54Done with work?
03:55His expression stayed calm.
03:58Luna's been wanting to go to the beach for ages.
04:00There happened to be a project inspection there, so I took her along.
04:05If you want to go, I'll take you once you recover.
04:08There was a knock at the door.
04:10My attending physician walked in to discuss my treatment plan.
04:13You guys talk.
04:14Luna's probably done with her checkup by now.
04:16Darian glanced at his watch and grabbed his coat.
04:18He was always like this, living entirely in Luna's bright, lively world.
04:24Nothing about me had ever mattered to him.
04:27The day I was discharged, Darian said he'd pick me up.
04:30I sat outside the hospital waiting for him.
04:33Beside me was a canvas bag filled with discharge papers, medical files, and a huge pile of suppressive
04:38medication.
04:39I scrolled through my phone.
04:42Luna had updated her story again.
04:447 a.m.
04:45A sunrise jogging photo.
04:47Two silhouettes from behind.
04:48One tall, one short.
04:50Caption, early birds get the sunrise.
04:538 a.m.
04:54A bathroom door fogged with steam.
04:56A smiley face drawn in the condensation.
04:58Someone's waiting for me to shower.
05:008.30 a.m.
05:01Breakfast on a hotel balcony.
05:03Two sets of utensils under warm sunlight.
05:06Mornings are better when you eat with someone.
05:07The man who said he was coming to pick me up was busy living someone else's life.
05:13At 10 o'clock, Darian's car finally arrived.
05:16The passenger side window rolled down.
05:19Luna.
05:20Hi, Bianca.
05:21Darian's dropping me off at work.
05:26Traffic was bad.
05:27Darian got out from the driver's seat and opened the back door.
05:30I said nothing and walked over carrying my medication.
05:33Luna leaned against the car window, suddenly staring at my left eye.
05:37What happened to your eye?
05:39It looks cloudy.
05:41That's so weird.
05:42She waved her fingers in front of me.
05:45Can you see this?
05:47How many fingers?
05:49She's near feast.
05:50Darian interrupted.
05:51Oh.
05:52Luna pulled her hand back.
05:53My left eye had been blind for three years.
05:55I told him more than 10 times.
05:57He still didn't remember.
06:00Luna and opened the car door and walked over.
06:03What are all these meds?
06:04Can I look?
06:05She reached into my bag.
06:07I shifted slightly, trying to avoid her touch.
06:10The bag wasn't tied properly.
06:12The moment she touched it, pill bottles and medication boxes spilled everywhere.
06:17Pills rolled across the ground.
06:19Some disappeared into cracks between the steps.
06:21Others rolled beneath the tires.
06:23How can you not even hold onto a bag properly?
06:26Darian frowned and looked away.
06:28I crouched down, picking them up one by one.
06:31My stitches had only just been removed.
06:34The moment I bent down, pressure mounded through my cull and my vision darkened.
06:38Luna crouched too.
06:40Let me help.
06:41In her panic, she crushed several pills beneath her hand.
06:44Oops.
06:45Sorry, Bianca.
06:47Darian crouched beside her and helped her back up.
06:49They're broken.
06:50Forget it.
06:51No need to pick them up.
06:52They're not expensive.
06:54I slowly stood.
06:55Yeah, not expensive.
06:57He checked his watch and frowned.
06:59Then have her go back into the hospital and get me new ones.
07:02That's unnecessary.
07:03She was only trying to help.
07:05You can go get them yourself.
07:07Luna's going to be late for work.
07:08I'll drop her off first.
07:09I'll send someone to pick you up.
07:11Luna was already back in the passenger seat,
07:13waving at me through the window.
07:15Bye!
07:17Darian left me with nothing but his back.
07:20I thought I would cry, but my eyes stayed dry.
07:23Even my heartbeat remained calm, like the person driving away wasn't someone I loved,
07:28just a stranger.
07:30Maybe I really didn't care anymore.
07:31When I got home, I took the partner agreement out of my bag and signed it.
07:36Then I started packing my things.
07:39One 24-inch suitcase was enough to hold eight years of my life.
07:42There was a framed photo of Darian and I on the bedside table,
07:46taken at a gala three years ago.
07:47Back then, my hair was still long, tied in a low pintail.
07:51He wore a dark suit and smiled softly.
07:53I picked up the frame and turned it over.
07:55On the back, someone had written,
07:57You're already the past.
07:59The one beside him now is me, Luna.
08:02I stared at it for a few seconds before turning it back over
08:05and placing it on top of the agreement.
08:08My phone rang.
08:09Darian.
08:10He almost never called me first.
08:12I answered.
08:14There was music in the background, like he was at a bar.
08:18Darian, about the separation agreement, he interrupted me.
08:21Luna likes your painting, Moonlight Fragments.
08:24Of course it was about her.
08:26I paused.
08:27Not for sale.
08:29She really likes it.
08:30One million.
08:32I don't like her.
08:33I'm not selling it to her.
08:35Silence hung on the other end for two seconds.
08:38How much do you want?
08:40Name your price.
08:41I laughed softly and set the phone down on the table.
08:43The bedside drawer was slightly open.
08:45I pulled it open.
08:47Inside was our marriage certificate.
08:49Luna had stuck one of her selfies directly over my face.
08:53In the picture, she smiled brightly and threw up a peace sign.
08:56My face was completely covered.
08:58I remembered the day we took that photo.
09:00I was healthy then.
09:02Full of color.
09:03Darian stood beside me, smiling gently.
09:06When I found out Luna had tampered with the certificate, I contrunted him about it.
09:10He barely glanced at it before promising he'd go replace it with me.
09:14It's just a photo.
09:15It's not a big deal.
09:16Luna likes joking around.
09:18Just let her have this one.
09:20Three years.
09:21He never found the time to replace it.
09:24His voice came through the phone again.
09:26Luna's sensitive.
09:27If she doesn't get what she wants, she'll keep making a fuss.
09:29Just give in and stop making things difficult for me.
09:32Since you won't sell it no matter how much I offer, then your gallery sponsorship won't
09:36be approved either.
09:37Let me know when you change your mind.
09:40Do whatever you want.
09:41I tugged at the corner of my lips.
09:44The sound of the call ending echoed through the empty room.
09:47Everything in my left eye was blurry gray, like fog that would never clear, and that familiar
09:52pain slowly crept back into my chest.
09:54When Darian first pursued me, everyone in the family thought he'd lost his mind.
09:58My unpredictable curse, my unstatable temper, my scentless beta body, none of it made me
10:03seem fit to be anyone's partner.
10:05But he said it didn't matter.
10:06He said quiet was fine.
10:08Coldness was fine.
10:09He liked all of it.
10:10For the first time in my life, I thought maybe I could rely on someone.
10:14But what happened after that?
10:15He was always busy.
10:17Said he'd spend time with me once the company stabilized.
10:19The way he looked at me changed slowly.
10:22From heartbreak whenever my curse flared up, to helplessness, to numbness.
10:26Eventually, he stopped coming altogether.
10:29He missed so many moments, and every time I told myself, next time will be different.
10:34Next time he'll come.
10:35Until the surgery where I almost died.
10:38As my consciousness faded, I thought, I'm probably never going to see Darian again.
10:43When I woke up, I only had one thought.
10:46I wanted to see him.
10:47So I spent 20 exhausting hours traveling to Paris, where he was supposedly on a business
10:51trip.
10:52And what I saw was him naked in bed with Luna, holding her in his arms.
10:56That's when I finally understood.
10:58He wasn't busy.
10:59He hadn't lost the desire to share his life with someone.
11:02That someone just wasn't me anymore.
11:04It was the first time in my life I broke down like a madwoman.
11:08I slapped that girl hard and smashed everything I could get my hands on.
11:12Why are you doing this to me?
11:14Do you know I almost died?
11:16Broken glass sliced across my calf.
11:18Warm blood streamed down my leg.
11:20But I felt nothing.
11:22Do you think I'm pathetic?
11:23Is that it?
11:29Calm down.
11:29The way you look right now is ugly.
11:32I stood trembling among the shattered glass, gasping for breath.
11:3720 hours of flying.
11:38Going straight from the operating table just to see him.
11:41All of it turned to ashes in that moment.
11:45From that day on, Darian rarely came home.
11:48He muted my notifications.
11:50The only way I could know anything about his life was through Luna's posts.
11:57Three days later, I got a message from Darian.
12:00Charity gala tonight, 8 o'clock.
12:02Be there.
12:03He ignored my messages and still hadn't signed the separation agreement.
12:06After thinking it over, I decided to talk to him face to face.
12:09I put on a wig and slipped the agreement into my bag.
12:13The moment I entered the ballroom, I saw Darian with Luna in his arms.
12:17They were dancing in the middle of the floor.
12:19She leaned against him while he lowered his head to say something, smiling softly.
12:23I stood there watching for a moment before walking in.
12:27You froze Bionna's gallery funding because of me?
12:29Do you think she'll be upset?
12:31Luna whispered in his ear brightly.
12:33She starved for affection.
12:34A little comforting and she'll get over it.
12:36Without missing a step, Darian patted her waist lightly.
12:38I stood at the edge of the dance floor.
12:41People nearby glanced between me and the couple dancing.
12:43Isn't that Darian's beta?
12:44Haven't seen her in forever.
12:46Is she here to catch him cheating?
12:48With how biased Darian is towards that girl?
12:50Who even knows who the real third party is?
12:53Look at her.
12:53Did you hear?
12:55The song ended.
12:58Why are you here?
12:58Darian saw me and let go of Luna.
13:00Luna looped herself around his arm and smiled sweetly at me.
13:04I need to talk to you.
13:05I immediately understood.
13:06She was the one who'd sent the message.
13:08I looked at Darian.
13:10Luna tugged on his arm.
13:12Darian, the next dance is starting, he frowned.
13:15Whatever it is, wait until this dance is over.
13:17Suddenly, the lights flickered, then went out.
13:21The crowd erupted into noise.
13:23In the darkness, a hand suddenly yanked hard at my wig, pain ripping across my scalp.
13:29Then the lights came back on.
13:31I looked down, my wig lay on the floor.
13:34All that remained on my head was a layer of short stubble and red scars left behind by the curse.
13:44The entire ballroom fell silent.
13:46Eyes turned towards me from every direction.
13:50That's horrifying.
13:51That's horrifying.
13:51No wonder Darian never brings her anywhere anymore.
13:52If it were me, I'd feel sick just looking at her.
13:54Is that cursed backlash?
13:55Is it contagious?
13:56A camera flash went off.
13:58Someone had raised a phone and started taking pictures.
14:01Luna smiled faintly.
14:02She crouched down, picked up the wig, and held it out to me.
14:07Biana, I'm sorry.
14:09It was too dark.
14:10I didn't see.
14:12I stared blankly without taking it.
14:15Darian walked over, helped me up, and pulled me outside.
14:18Bald.
14:19Dragged through the entire ballroom under everyone's eyes.
14:22The whispers slowly faded behind us.
14:25Neither of us spoke.
14:26My mind was empty.
14:28My hands shook uncontrollably.
14:30I hadn't thought about those dark years in a very long time.
14:33Isolation.
14:34Vomiting.
14:35Seeing my bald reflection in the mirror while everyone whispered,
14:38Stay away from her.
14:39And now the person I once loved most had personally shoved me back into that hell.
14:45When we got home, Darian poured me a glass of water.
14:48I'll have all the photos and videos from tonight deleted.
14:51I said nothing.
14:52You don't need to think too much about it.
14:55I'll make sure nobody spreads them.
14:56I blinked slowly.
14:57Including Luna?
14:58Luna? She was the one who texted me.
15:01He frowned.
15:02The lights were out. She couldn't see.
15:04She's not that kind of person.
15:06Do you really not see how cool she is, or do you just refuse to?
15:10The great head of the Blackwood family can't possibly be too blind to see through something this obvious.
15:15The living room fell silent for several seconds.
15:17Then his phone rang.
15:19Luna's teary voice leaked through the speaker clearly in the quiet room.
15:24Darian, is Bianca mad at me?
15:27I really didn't mean it.
15:29I'll apologize tomorrow, okay?
15:31Please don't be angry with me.
15:32Don't cry.
15:33No one's blaming you.
15:34He hung up and looked at me.
15:35She's upset.
15:36I need to go check on her.
15:38Didn't you say you had something to tell me?
15:39We'll talk properly when I get back.
15:41He walked to the door, changing his shoes and grabbing his keys.
15:45Darian.
15:45He stopped.
15:47You always say you'll come back.
15:49Talk to me.
15:50But when have you ever actually come back?
15:51He clearly had no intention of staying.
15:54I'll be back in an hour.
15:55Without even turning around, Darian left.
15:58I walked into the bedroom and placed the separation agreement beneath the picture frame.
16:02Then I pulled out my suitcase and called a cab to the airport.
16:05At one in the morning, I boarded a flight to London.
16:08Three hours had already passed since Darian said he'd come back to talk.
16:11As the plane began taxiing, a message from him popped up just before I shut my phone off.
16:17What's the meaning of that agreement?
16:19I didn't reply.
16:20I turned off my phone.
16:23Darian.
16:24Let's never appear in each other's lives again.
16:27The plane landed at Heathrow.
16:29When turning on, the phone vibrate for several minutes before stopping.
16:33I didn't look.
16:36Past customs.
16:38Collected luggage.
16:39Took a taxi.
16:42The hotel was booked in advance.
16:44The front desk handed over the room key.
16:47I took it.
16:47Elevator up.
16:49Opened the door.
16:50Put down the suitcase.
16:53Sat by the bedside.
16:58The phone vibrated again.
17:01I picked it up.
17:02It's from Darian Blackwood.
17:04Dozens.
17:05Explain the agreement.
17:07Said we'd talk.
17:08Where did you go?
17:10Don't push it.
17:11There's a limit to throwing tantrums.
17:13Bianca, are you serious?
17:15I didn't scroll up.
17:19Locked screen.
17:21Threw it on the nightstand.
17:22The next day went to Royal Free Hospital.
17:25The attending doctor was a beta.
17:27In his forties.
17:28Speaking at a moderate pace.
17:30Mrs. Reed, Dr. Lynn has briefed me.
17:32We need a full workup before the purification protocol.
17:35Odds?
17:36Better than last time.
17:37But the vision loss in your left eye is permanent.
17:40He glanced at me.
17:41Didn't say more.
17:42The nurse took me to handle admission.
17:44Fill out forms.
17:46The emergency contact act field was blank.
17:49Who should we put here?
17:52No one.
17:53I'm alone.
17:54She didn't press further.
17:56Left it blank.
17:57The ward was cramped.
17:58The window faced a busy street.
18:00The sound of traffic was faint.
18:02Quieter than New York.
18:03The phone rang.
18:04It was Darian.
18:05I picked up.
18:06I asked Dr. Lynn.
18:07You went to London?
18:08His voice was hoary.
18:10The background was wind noise from the airport runway.
18:13He was probably standing on the tar pack.
18:15Darian, sign the papers.
18:16You flew alone for the purification?
18:18Do you even know your condition?
18:20Then when will you sign?
18:22Bianca, we are really doing this?
18:26Where do you think we should be?
18:28Fine.
18:30I'll have Luna apologize.
18:31I admit I neglected you.
18:33But you don't have to take it this far.
18:35I don't need it.
18:36Bianca.
18:37I'm hanging up.
18:38Sign the papers.
18:39I didn't wait for him to say anything more.
18:42Turned off.
18:43Stuffed the phone under the pillow.
18:44The phone vibrated under the pillow once.
18:47Then again.
18:47I didn't take it out.
18:49After hanging up the phone.
18:51Darian sat in the study of Blackwood Estate for a long time.
18:54He sank into the leather chair.
18:56Trying to sort out his thoughts.
18:57Why did Bianca want to dissolve the partnership?
18:59Because of Luna?
19:00Because he didn't accompany her on the full moon night?
19:02Because he was always busy?
19:05He felt these were all small matters.
19:07He hadn't marked anyone else.
19:09Hadn't committed domestic violence.
19:11Hadn't frozen her credit card.
19:12He just didn't care as much anymore.
19:15Right.
19:16Just didn't care as much.
19:17In the first two years of marriage.
19:19He sent her iMessages every day.
19:21Asking if she had eaten.
19:23Asking about the degree of curse flare-ups.
19:24Asking if she missed him.
19:26Later messages became fewer and fewer.
19:28Not intentional.
19:29Really had nothing to say.
19:30He felt this wasn't his fault.
19:32Isn't that how feelings are?
19:34Passion cools.
19:35Novelty exhausts.
19:36Who can still be like the honeymoon period after eight years of marriage?
19:39He picked up his phone.
19:41Opened her chat box.
19:42Dense green bubbles.
19:43All sent by her.
19:45The last time he replied to her was half a year ago.
19:47He didn't know when he had developed this habit.
19:49Just didn't want to look.
19:51Her messages were always those few lines.
19:53Did you eat?
19:54Going into isolation.
19:55Can you come home?
19:56The doorbell rang.
19:57He placed his phone face down on the table and stood up.
20:01Two housekeepers in gray uniforms from Beta.
20:03Miss Reed arranged for us to clear out her belongings.
20:07Clothes, shoes, personal items.
20:09All to be donated.
20:11Darian stood at the door stunned for a few seconds.
20:13She sent you?
20:14Yes.
20:15Ma'am scheduled it last week.
20:17The two aunts pushed the cart.
20:19Opened the walk-in closet.
20:20Taking down her clothes one by one.
20:22Silk nightgowns.
20:23Cashmere coats.
20:24Scarves.
20:24He recognized that off-white Max Mara coat.
20:27He had accompanied her to buy it.
20:29Three years ago, when she said she wanted to go sketching in Iceland, he helped her pick it.
20:33And those Manolo Blanick flat shoes.
20:35Her feet were small, hard to buy.
20:37These were found after browsing seven stores.
20:39He watched all her things being folded, stacked into black recycling bags.
20:43Wait.
20:45I'll buy these.
20:46The aunts left.
20:47The door closed.
20:49The house was dead silent.
20:50He sat on the sofa, holding that coat.
20:52The phone vibrated again.
20:54Bianca.
20:55I want that T-bone steak you make tonight.
20:57He looked at that message, didn't reply.
20:59A few minutes later it vibrated again.
21:01Darian?
21:02Are you busy?
21:03He placed the phone on the coffee table, didn't touch it.
21:06The sky darkened.
21:07He didn't turn on the lights, sat in the darkness for a long time.
21:11Later he stood up, walked into the study.
21:13The safe was hidden behind the bookshelf.
21:15He entered the password, her birthday.
21:17Pulled it open, on top was a Moleskine journal.
21:21He opened it.
21:22The first page had a movie ticket stub pasted on it.
21:25La La Land, the date was their first date.
21:27She wrote beside it.
21:27He was 15 minutes late, but his hair was flying.
21:30When he ran in, I forgave him.
21:32The second page was a Polaroid.
21:34She wore a knit hat, face red from cold.
21:36She wrote.
21:37Fourth purification today.
21:39He said I look cute bald.
21:40Liar.
21:40But I want to believe him.
21:42Third page.
21:43Fourth page.
21:43Fifth page.
21:44Every page was her writing.
21:46Characters small, crowded together.
21:48Recording every treatment.
21:49Recording the paths he walked with her.
21:51Recording things he said.
21:52When I get better.
21:53We go to Tromso for the Aurora.
21:55You promised so many times.
21:56I wrote it here so you can't lie.
21:58The last page of the journal had an airplane ticket tucked in it.
22:02Destination, Tromso.
22:03Next to it was a sticky note.
22:05In her handwriting.
22:06When I get better.
22:07When you have time.
22:08Let's go.
22:09Don't stand me up again.
22:10He had simply forgotten.
22:12He closed the journal.
22:13Hugged it to his chest.
22:15The journal was small.
22:16The cowhide cover pressing against his palm.
22:19Those characters showed through the paper.
22:21Carrying an aged warmth.
22:22He only now realized she wrote so much.
22:25And he never looked once.
22:26He picked up his phone.
22:27Booked a flight to London.
22:30The purification ritual was scheduled for two weeks later.
22:33The days in the hospital were very quiet.
22:35Every morning blood draw.
22:37Every afternoon examination.
22:39Messages from Darian kept popping up on my phone.
22:41I occasionally swept a glance.
22:43Didn't reply.
22:44He asked which hospital I was at.
22:46I deleted the chat box.
22:47He said he flew over.
22:49I still didn't reply.
22:50The day before the ritual.
22:52The nurse came for preoperative education.
22:54When signing the informed consent form.
22:56My hand holding the pen shook a bit.
22:58Turns out.
22:59Not needing to wait for anyone's signature wasn't as hard as imagined.
23:02That night there was a torrential downpour.
23:04I slept early.
23:05Woken in the middle of the night by knocking.
23:07Opened the door.
23:08The corridor light was blinding.
23:09Darian stood in the doorway.
23:11Shirt wrinkled.
23:12Hair messy.
23:13Carrying a rimola.
23:14Called a dozen hospitals to find you.
23:19Signed?
23:20I won't sign!
23:22Bianca, I don't think our marriage is beyond repair.
23:25And I don't buy that you feel nothing for me.
23:28I couldn't be bothered to waste words anymore.
23:31Darian, you overestimate yourself.
23:33And you underestimate me.
23:37There's nothing left to talk about except the divorce.
23:41I'm sorry for neglecting you, Bianca.
23:44It won't happen again.
23:46You never used to think you were wrong.
23:49I was always the unreasonable one.
23:51The past is the past.
23:54The past was too long.
23:55I closed the door.
23:56He stood in the corridor and didn't leave.
23:58I turned off the lights and lay back on the bed.
24:01After a long time I heard footsteps, gradually fading away.
24:06The next day was the surgery.
24:08Before anesthesia, Dr. Chin came in to check.
24:11The person outside?
24:12Family?
24:13No.
24:14The anesthesiologist began pushing the medicine.
24:16A chill spread from my arm.
24:18I closed my eyes.
24:19When I woke, the sky was completely dark.
24:22My throat was dry and painful, like swallowing sandpaper.
24:25The nurse pulled out a tube, saying in accented English,
24:28Surgery was successful.
24:30I nodded.
24:31Then saw a person sitting by the bedside.
24:33Darian sat in the chair, elbow propped on the bed rail, asleep.
24:37Coat draped over his legs, hair messy, blue stubble growing on his chin.
24:40Every time before in surgery, after hovering between life and death,
24:44I always hoped the first person I saw upon opening my eyes would be him.
24:47But every time I woke, there was only the pale ceiling.
24:50Now that he came, there was dead water in my heart.
24:53I looked at him for a few seconds, then turned to look out the window.
24:57The London night was deep blue, without stars.
24:59He woke, raising his head.
25:02How do you feel?
25:03Doctor said it worked.
25:04He didn't mention last night.
25:06Water?
25:07Didn't mention the agreement, didn't mention Luna.
25:09As if he just happened to pass by, dropping by to take a look.
25:13When are you leaving?
25:14I don't want to see you.
25:15When you're better.
25:16He reached out wanting to hold my hand.
25:18I withdrew it under the covers.
25:20I know you're serious this time.
25:22I didn't speak.
25:24I wasn't good enough before.
25:26Go back.
25:27I'm tired.
25:29No energy to argue.
25:30He sat there unmoving.
25:32For a long time, the nurse came in to change dressings.
25:35Only then did he stand up to make way.
25:37The nurse left.
25:38He sat back down.
25:39I didn't look at him again.
25:42The third day post-surgery, the wound still hurt, but lighter than last time.
25:46Darian came every day, arriving in the morning, leaving at night.
25:49The nurse thought he was my husband.
25:51I didn't have the strength to correct her.
25:53The fifth day afternoon, the ward door was pushed open.
25:56Luna stood in the doorway.
25:58Light colored coat, long hair loose, eye sockets red.
26:01That strong strawberry pheromone instantly drowned out the disinfectant smell.
26:04She looked at Darian.
26:06Darian.
26:06Darian stood up from the sofa, frowning.
26:09How did you find this place?
26:10Asked around everywhere.
26:12Darian, come back with me, okay?
26:14Darian didn't move.
26:15I called you so many times.
26:17You wouldn't answer.
26:18I went to the house.
26:20You weren't there.
26:20I've been here for days.
26:22Just waiting.
26:23I messed up.
26:24I know.
26:24Tell me what to fix.
26:25Enough.
26:26He interrupted.
26:27Luna was stunned.
26:28You know exactly what you did.
26:30I didn't say anything before doesn't mean I didn't know.
26:32Her lips trembled.
26:33I was for you.
26:36Darian, I love you.
26:38Out.
26:39You weren't like this.
26:40You used to protect me.
26:42Did she brainwash you?
26:43Is she forcing you?
26:44Darian picked up his phone, dialed.
26:46Come in.
26:47Take her out.
26:48Make sure she doesn't come back.
26:50As Luna was pulled out, she was still looking back.
26:52Her crying voice echoing in the corridor, gradually disappearing.
26:56The ward returned to silence.
26:58Darian stood with his back to me.
27:00After a while, he turned around, sat back in the chair by the bed.
27:03He said.
27:04Sorry did we wake you.
27:06Get some rest.
27:07I looked at the ceiling, didn't speak.
27:10A week later, Dr. Chen said still needed observation.
27:14But the left eye is gone.
27:15I know.
27:16Falling asleep, in the ward only the sound of instruments ticking.
27:20I turned my head to take a look.
27:22Darian was still there.
27:23He was curled on that sofa a size too short.
27:25MacBook on his knees, screen lit, but he wasn't looking at it.
27:29Awake.
27:29I ignored, opened my phone.
27:32Hundreds of messages.
27:33All from Darian.
27:35Every message I sent before the surgery, he had all made up for.
27:38I'm here.
27:39I'm sorry.
27:40I should have been there.
27:41I'm here now.
27:42I looked at a few, averted my gaze.
27:45You don't have to do this.
27:47I want to.
27:49Darian, it's pointless.
27:51You don't have to accept it.
27:53I just need to do it.
27:55He looked at me, eyes full of red veins, lips chapped.
27:58He closed the computer, put it back in his pocket.
28:00I turned over, back to him.
28:02The curtains weren't drawn tight.
28:04A line of light fell on the back of my hand.
28:07A month later discharged.
28:09I booked a ticket to Nice, France.
28:11The day of departure, Darian stood at the hospital entrance.
28:15I'll go with you.
28:17No need.
28:18You shouldn't be alone.
28:19I was alone before.
28:21He didn't speak.
28:22I hailed a taxi.
28:24He stood in place, wind filling his coat hem.
28:26I didn't look back.
28:27I went to a small town on the Cote d'Azur.
28:30Phone on, messages poured in.
28:32Darian's, dozens, hundreds.
28:34Did you land?
28:35Is the place safe?
28:37Did you pack enough meds?
28:38Weather, cold there.
28:40Did you eat?
28:41Just reply so I know you're safe.
28:43Half an hour later, another, it's cold there.
28:46Where layers?
28:47I didn't reply.
28:48He started sending gallery exhibition invitations to my email.
28:51Paris, Milan, Berlin.
28:53He said his friends in the art circle could help me hold a solo exhibition.
28:57He said my art deserved to be seen.
28:59Reply, not interested.
29:01This isn't compensation.
29:02Your art is genuinely good.
29:04He sent another contract.
29:06A sponsorship agreement from some international art fund.
29:08Is this your money or the family offices?
29:11He was silent for 10 minutes.
29:13You know everything.
29:14I don't need anything from you anymore, Darian.
29:17The phone rang.
29:18I picked up.
29:19Then he asked.
29:21Then what do you want?
29:22Nothing.
29:23Just sign the papers and disappear.
29:25Bianca, wherever you go, I'll follow.
29:27I'll prove I was wrong.
29:28I love you.
29:29Follow me to London, Paris, Berlin.
29:31Buy a house there.
29:32I'll move to the next city.
29:34Buy up all of Europe.
29:35I'll go to the Americas, Africa, Antarctica.
29:38I won't spend my life hating you.
29:40But I will spend every second of it showing you I don't love you anymore.
29:43You say you want to prove you were wrong.
29:45I'll prove I never look back.
29:47I didn't wait for him to say anything more.
29:49Hung up.
29:50Later he really did follow.
29:52When I was in Paris, he stayed at a hotel on the other side of the Seine.
29:55I moved to Lyon.
29:56He moved too.
29:57I stayed in Kyoto for a month.
29:59He rented an apartment nearby.
30:01We never spoke.
30:02Occasionally seeing each other from afar on the street, he would stop, standing in place
30:06watching me walk past.
30:09In early winter, I went to Chamonix at the foot of the Alps.
30:12The snow was heavy, the road slippery.
30:15I fell, skinning my knee.
30:16When getting up, caught a glimpse of a figure in a dark gray coat at the street corner.
30:20He didn't come over.
30:22That night the snow stopped.
30:23I sat at the window of the wooden house.
30:25My phone lit up.
30:27His text.
30:28Back then I didn't understand.
30:29Now I do.
30:31Moonlight outside the window shone on the snow.
30:33Very bright, but couldn't sink down.
30:35I looked at that message for a long time, typed.
30:38Darian, stop appearing in each other's lives.
30:40He didn't reply.
30:42The next morning, the front desk handed me a letter without a stamp.
30:45My name was written on the envelope, the handwriting his.
30:48I took it to the room, placed it on the table, didn't open it.
30:51Through the envelope, could feel the paper inside.
30:54Probably four or five pages written.
30:56Pulled open the curtains, the snow had cleared, sky bright.
31:00The street was clean, he wasn't there.
31:02He went back.
31:03In spring, I received an email from the lawyer.
31:05I booked a ticket back to New York.
31:08He was already waiting.
31:09Gray Brioni suit, neat hairstyle, person a bit thinner, jawline sharper.
31:13We stood face to face.
31:15Let's go.
31:16We sat side by side before the notary signing.
31:19The staff member checked, stamped.
31:21All set.
31:22Bianca.
31:23I looked at him.
31:24He opened his mouth.
31:26Adam's apple rolling.
31:27In the end only said one sentence.
31:29Can I hug you?
31:30Voice very low.
31:31The trailing tone swallowed by the echo in the hall.
31:34He stood before me, both hands hanging at his sides, not raised, like a person who had
31:38lost all chips.
31:39I looked at his eyes, the corner of his eye read.
31:42Three seconds.
31:43Maybe five.
31:44I didn't answer, turned around, didn't look back.
31:47Behind was very quiet.
31:49He didn't chase, nor did he call my name again.
31:52Pushed open the door.
31:53The light outside was dazzling.
31:55Left I couldn't see, right I was stung sore by the light.
31:58I returned to that small town in the south of France, stayed for a long time.
32:01Snow on the mountaintop hadn't melted.
32:04Flowers at the foot of the mountain bloomed into a sea.
32:07Sunlight outside the window was dazzling.
32:09I remembered a long time ago, someone said they would take me to see the aurora.
32:13In that journal was tucked an airplane ticket, destination Norway.
32:16The date blank.
32:17Not going.
32:18Moonlight cannot sink into the deep sea.
32:20It shines on the sea surface, bright in one piece, shattered in another piece.
32:25Looks very close, actually very far.
32:27Just like some people, you thought they loved you, but they were just passing by.
32:31But it doesn't matter.
32:33The sky will always brighten.
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